Modern Masculinity

Gio Bartolomeo shares his transformative journey from being a hustling entrepreneur stuck in his head to discovering profound spiritual awakening through breathwork and plant medicine. After years of chasing success and feeling unfulfilled, a death experience during an ayahuasca ceremony showed him there was more to life than material achievement. Through breathwork, particularly after training with Wim Hof, Gio had an out-of-body experience that taught him to get out of his analytical mind and into his heart. He discusses how modern masculinity requires both strength and softness, the importance of men's community, and why following intuition over logic has transformed his life and business. Gio breaks down different types of breathwork practices, explains how to quiet the mind to hear your heart's wisdom, and shares why creativity and authentic expression are the keys to living a fulfilling life.Chapters:(00:00:00) - Gio's out-of-body breathwork experience and rebirth moment(00:03:00) - Wrestling with business scaling and finding authentic purpose(00:05:00) - Discovering spiritual calm amidst global chaos(00:08:00) - The journey from Catholic upbringing to spiritual awakening(00:12:00) - The unfulfilled entrepreneur and the search for meaning(00:14:00) - First ayahuasca ceremony and confronting death(00:17:00) - Meeting Wim Hof and the transformative breathwork experience(00:21:00) - Getting out of your head and into your heart(00:25:00) - Rediscovering intuition and curiosity as a man(00:29:00) - Intention, authenticity, and creating from the heart(00:33:00) - Different types of breathwork: resilience vs. exploration(00:37:00) - Finding your authentic vibration and tribe(00:40:00) - Defining modern masculinity: strength with softnessLinks And Resources:Website: https://www.elementalrhythm.com/Gio Bartolomeo on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gio-bartolomeo-1a7b2566/?originalSubdomain=caHector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=enThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this episode, Larry Pruett shares hard-won wisdom from 36 years of marriage and 21 years as an entrepreneur. After scaling an e-commerce business to high six figures and now coaching married couples, Larry reveals the critical missing piece in most men's lives: meaningful relationships with other men. He breaks down the fundamental communication differences between men and women, explains why guys need three types of relationships (mentor, peer, and mentee), and shares practical strategies for understanding your spouse without playing guessing games. Larry also discusses the importance of being vulnerable in the right contexts, how to balance business success with home life, and why ancient wisdom still applies to modern relationships. This conversation is packed with actionable advice for men who want to build stronger marriages, deeper friendships, and leave fewer regrets.Chapters:(00:00:00) - The Power of Asking Questions in Relationships(00:01:00) - From High Six Figures to Starting Over: Larry's Journey(00:03:00) - Why Men Need Other Men (Not Just Their Wives)(00:06:00) - The Missing Mentor: How to Find Guidance at Every Life Stage(00:09:00) - What Makes Someone Worthy of Respect? (A Powerful Exercise)(00:11:00) - The Mask Men Wear: When Vulnerability Goes Wrong(00:14:00) - The 3 Types of Relationships Every Man Needs(00:17:00) - Why You Keep Miscommunicating with Your Wife(00:20:00) - The House Analogy: How Men and Women Think Differently(00:23:00) - Stop Playing the Guessing Game (Just Ask Her What She Means)(00:25:00) - The Baked Potato Story: A Perfect Example of Male/Female Communication(00:28:00) - Why Men Jump to Fixing (And When to Just Sit and Listen)(00:31:00) - Modern Masculinity = Ancient Masculinity (Why the Principles Never Change)Links And Resources:WebsiteLarry on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Dr. Barry Davis spent 38 years as a college baseball coach before stepping away to write, speak, and consult on leadership and emotional intelligence. In this episode, he opens up about the personal challenges of transitioning from "coach" to a new identity, the evolution of young athletes over four decades, and how his own coaching style transformed from authoritative to emotionally intelligent. Barry shares candid insights about parenting in the age of technology, the importance of self-discipline and excellence in everything we do, and why creating a safe environment for failure is crucial for developing resilient leaders. His new book, "Old Dog New Tricks: The Power of Leading With Emotional Intelligence," tells the story of a volatile coach who must learn to lead differently—a story that mirrors Barry's own journey from a hard-nosed coach to someone who now prioritizes emotional connection, intentional listening, and creating spaces where people can thrive.Chapters:(00:00:00) - Creating Safe Environments for Growth and Challenge(00:01:00) - Introduction and Barry's Coaching Journey(00:03:00) - Challenges in Establishing Routine and Family Connections(00:06:00) - Transitioning Identity from Coach to Speaker(00:10:00) - Three Core Values: Self-Discipline, Excellence, and Fulfillment(00:15:00) - Athletics as Training Ground for Life Skills(00:19:00) - Excellence in the Small Things(00:23:00) - Evolution of Young Athletes Over Four Decades(00:30:00) - Parenting Philosophy and Creating Safe Learning Environments(00:33:00) - Best Parents Stay Outside the Circle(00:37:00) - Finding Your Own Path and Motivation(00:39:00) - Writing "Old Dog New Tricks" and Emotional Intelligence(00:43:00) - Where to Find the Book and ConnectLinks And Resources:Website: https://drbarrydavis.com/Dr. Barry Davis on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbarrydavis42/Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=enThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this deep dive with fitness expert and longtime friend Nate Palmer, we explore the cutting edge of men's health optimization—from peptides and GLP-1s to the fundamentals that most guys ignore. Nate shares his personal journey struggling with injury and mental health while being unable to train, revealing how breath work became his new coping mechanism when physical expression wasn't available. We break down the truth about popular compounds like BPC-157, CJC, and semaglutide, discussing how they work, who should consider them, and why they're the natural evolution in response to our toxic food environment. Nate explains why walking and sleep might be more powerful than any supplement, how to train while fasting without wasting your workouts, and why the aesthetic versus strength debate misses the point entirely. We also get into the controversial world of TRT, the surprising cognitive benefits of creatine and nicotine, and why the next decade will reveal a stark divide between those who take longevity seriously and those who don't. This conversation is packed with actionable insights for any man looking to optimize his health, performance, and aging trajectory.Chapters:(00:00:00) - Why Success Doesn't Protect You From Struggle(00:02:00) - Training as Therapy: Using Physical Expression to Process Life(00:04:00) - When You Can't Train: Finding New Ways to Cope(00:06:00) - The Compound That Cut My Recovery Time in Half(00:09:00) - GLP-1s Aren't Just for Weight Loss: A Response to Modern Food(00:13:00) - The Peptide Categories Every Man Should Understand(00:19:00) - The Unsexy Truth: Walking and Sleep Beat Most Supplements(00:22:00) - Stop Chasing Aesthetics: What Actually Matters for Longevity(00:27:00) - TRT for Your Mind: The Mental Health Benefits No One Talks About(00:32:00) - How to Actually Track What's Working: Blood Work and HRV(00:36:00) - Inside My Daily Stack: What I Take and Why(00:40:00) - Creatine for Your Brain + The Nicotine Conversation(00:42:00) - Training Fasted? You're Probably Wasting Your Effort(00:45:00) - Where to Get Started: Resources and ProductsLinks And Resources:WebsiteNate Palmer on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Alex Charfen returns to share his transformative journey from business optimization to internal healing work. After coaching thousands of entrepreneurs to over $100 million in revenue, Alex took a sabbatical to focus on sexual shadow work, tantric practices, and processing childhood trauma. In this raw conversation, he reveals why men are systematically traumatizing themselves through pornography, how to create genuine emotional safety in relationships (not just physical or financial safety), and why the belief that "50% of your thoughts will always be negative" is fundamentally wrong. Alex explains the critical difference between suppression and containment, shares his experience overcoming abandonment issues through EMDR therapy, and offers practical guidance on rational self-pleasure practices that can rewire decades of conditioning. He challenges modern masculinity narratives and provides a roadmap for men to step into true presence, process their triggers, and create the secure attachment they've been seeking. This episode is essential listening for any man who wants to understand why emotional containment—not fixing, processing, or withdrawing—is the key to everything he wants in life.Chapters:(00:00:00) - The Emotional Safety Women Actually Need(00:03:40) - Why 50% Negative Thoughts Is a Lie You've Been Sold(00:07:15) - Processing Abandonment Issues: From Infant Surgery to Adult Anxiety(00:12:45) - The Four Safety Types (And Why You're Missing the Most Important One)(00:18:30) - Masculine Presence: What "Being Seen and Heard" Really Means(00:25:20) - The Modern Masculinity Crisis: Sharing From the Wound vs. Sharing From Healing(00:30:15) - Sexual Energy Transmutation: What Napoleon Hill Got Wrong(00:38:25) - Pornography's Hidden Cost: Instant Gratification, Hyperstimulation & the Victim Position(00:47:20) - The Rational Self-Pleasure Practice That Changes Everything(00:56:45) - Modern Masculinity Redefined: Presence Over PerformanceLinks And Resources:WebsiteAlex Charfen on LinkedInAmplafy MediaHector Santiesteban on LinkedIn:Hector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this raw and unapologetic conversation, first-generation attorney Tyler Vance challenges everything you've been told about modern masculinity. From walking on the car side of the sidewalk to refusing to let political correctness dilute what it means to be a man, Tyler brings an old-school mentality to a generation that desperately needs it. He breaks down why the term "toxic masculinity" has been weaponized against natural male behavior, shares his philosophy on providing and protecting as a man's core purpose, and explains why he sleeps on the door side of the bed. This isn't about going back in time—it's about reclaiming the essential traits that make men valuable partners, fathers, and leaders. Tyler also opens up about navigating the legal world with integrity, the collapse of common sense in modern society, and why he believes most men have lost their sense of purpose. If you're tired of apologizing for being a man, this episode is for you.Chapters:(00:00:00) - Meet Tyler Vance: The First-Gen Attorney Who Refuses to Apologize(00:02:15) - From Courtroom to Content: How Legal Writing Shaped His Voice(00:05:30) - The Death of Common Sense: Why Politics Has Lost Its Mind(00:09:45) - Priced Out: The Cost of Living Crisis Destroying Young Men's Futures(00:14:20) - Old School in a New World: Defending Traditional Masculinity(00:19:10) - Inside the Courtroom: Strategy, Integrity, and Winning Cases(00:25:35) - The Toxic Masculinity Lie: Why Natural Male Behavior Is Under Attack(00:30:15) - The Provider Mentality: Why Real Men Protect and Provide(00:34:40) - Finding Purpose: How Fatherhood Changes Everything for Men(00:37:10) - What It Really Means to Be a Man in 2025Links And Resources:Tyler Vance on LinkedInTyler Vance on InstagramHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Cletus Coffey, former professional athlete turned men's coach, shares his journey from hiding behind athletic identity to discovering authentic masculinity. After a four-year career in the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League, Cletus faced an identity crisis when his career ended at 28. Through two divorces, single fatherhood with three children, and toxic relationships, he learned that true strength comes from vulnerability, not performance. Cletus discusses the epidemic of men suffering in silence, the importance of morning routines for single fathers, how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and why most men struggle to answer "who are you?" without mentioning career or family. He introduces his Be The Torch program, designed to help men create lives they desire rather than fitting life into their business. This episode tackles the reality of modern masculinity: choosing freedom, vulnerability, and truth over societal programming and the exhausting performance of being someone you're not.Chapters:(00:00:00) - The Single Father's Reality: Morning Routines and Self-Care(00:01:00) - From Pro Athlete to Lost Identity: When Your Career Defines You(00:09:00) - Who Are You Really? The Question Most Men Can't Answer(00:13:00) - The Identity Crisis: Life After Professional Sports(00:18:00) - The Two Deepest Wounds All Men Carry: Abandonment and Worthiness(00:23:00) - Your Triggers Are Mirrors: What's Really Behind Your Anger(00:26:00) - The Morning Routine That Changed Everything for This Single Dad(00:32:00) - Co-Parenting After Divorce: From Anger to Collaboration(00:38:00) - The Difference Between Correction and Criticism in Parenting(00:42:00) - Why Men Are Suffering in Silence and What We Can Do About ItLinks And Resources:Cletus Coffey's Morning RoutineBook a Call with CletusCletus on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Don Ross opens up about his journey from porn addiction and shame to helping men build authentic friendships and discover true manhood. Don shares how confession and vulnerability became the gateway to his freedom, and why modern society has made it nearly impossible for men to connect meaningfully with other men. He introduces his framework of the Five Marks of Manhood—strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance—as a practical roadmap for men seeking to level up in their lives. The discussion explores why men need tribes, not just nuclear families, and how the loss of male-only spaces has left an entire generation of men isolated and struggling. Don challenges the cultural narrative that porn is just a sex issue, revealing the deeper wounds around self-worth and identity that drive addictive behaviors. This episode is essential listening for any man feeling stuck, lonely, or searching for a clearer path to becoming who he's meant to be.Chapters:00:00:00 - Why Adulthood Blindsides Most Men00:00:44 - Meet Don Ross: From Addiction to Author00:01:36 - The Modern Man's Crisis00:02:21 - Why Men Can't Make Friends Anymore00:02:59 - Living a Double Life: Don's Secret Struggle00:09:17 - The Power of Confession: Breaking Free Through Vulnerability00:14:33 - What Does It Really Mean to Be a Man?00:18:50 - The Truth About Porn: It's Not About Sex00:20:54 - HALTS: Your Warning System for Self-Sabotage00:22:55 - The Five Marks Every Man Must Master00:24:22 - Why You Need a Tribe, Not Just a Family00:26:58 - The Male Loneliness Epidemic00:32:28 - How to Build Your Brotherhood00:39:17 - Writing the Book: What Surprised Me Most00:40:42 - Get the Book + Free Freedom GuideLinks And Resources:Don Ross's book: How to Be a Man - Available on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/2w7m67y8Free guide: Pathway to Freedom - manhoodtribes.com/freedomHector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=enThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

John Ulsh was given a 3% chance of survival after a horrific car accident 17 years ago left him paralyzed, shattered his pelvis, broke his back, and forced him to endure over 45 surgeries. Told he'd never walk again, John defied the odds when his 10-year-old daughter told him she missed her "old daddy." What followed was an extraordinary journey of physical and mental transformation—from 90 milligrams of morphine twice daily to squatting 400 pounds and benching over 300. In this raw conversation, John shares the reality of survivor's remorse, the loss of his best friend to suicide, the dark periods where he wished he'd died, and the hard-won wisdom about commitment, falling in love with the process, and building a life worth living after tragedy. This isn't just an inspirational story—it's a tactical blueprint for overcoming setbacks, managing pain without narcotics, and understanding what it truly means to be a modern man who refuses to quit.Chapters:(00:00:00) - Introduction: The Man Who Survived the Impossible(00:03:00) - The Accident: 125 MPH Impact and 3% Survival Odds(00:09:00) - Finding Commitment When Everything Falls Apart(00:14:00) - Why Setbacks Don't Scare Him Anymore(00:20:00) - The Daughter Who Changed Everything(00:28:00) - Letting Go of Who You Were to Become Who You Need to Be(00:36:00) - Why Shortcuts and Quick Fixes Always Fail(00:42:00) - The Dark Years and Giving Yourself Grace(00:46:00) - His Best Friend's Suicide and 12 Years of Silence(00:54:00) - Defining Modern Masculinity: Self-Aware and UnapologeticLinks And Resources:John Ulsh's WebsitePre-order John's bookFollow John on YouTubeHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, host Hector Santiesteban sits down with Rich D’Ambrosio to unpack the evolving definition of masculinity. From divorce, fatherhood, and cultural conditioning to capitalism’s influence on male identity, they dive deep into how men can reclaim agency, embrace mindfulness, and move beyond outdated scripts of “provider” and “buffoon.” Together, they explore the balance between vulnerability and strength, the role of polarity in relationships, and why liberation is the ultimate path toward becoming an integrated, modern man.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Modern Masculinity Podcast00:00:53 - Meet Rich.00:02:54 - Using mindfulness to find a "North Star".00:05:00 - Reframing separation as an opportunity for growth.00:08:16 - Questioning the preconceived image of a father.00:09:00 - The struggle to find identity beyond family and career roles.00:10:44 - Viewing a past relationship as a formative "crucible".00:11:02 - A wake-up call about minimizing personal talents.00:13:09 - How men deprioritize themselves for family roles.00:14:11 - Discussing the post-feminist movement's effect on men.00:16:27 - The concept of "Mindful Masculinity".00:17:22 - Proposing feminism as a model for healthy masculinity.00:20:47 - Explaining relationship polarity using a simple example.00:30:52 - Redefining men's career paths beyond traditional roles.00:31:44 - A call for men to liberate and redefine themselves.00:35:17 - Capitalism as an alternative theory for men's struggles.00:37:06 - Where to find Rich online.Links And Resources:Rich’s Substack: Mindful Masculinity Hector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!