Coming Out Late

In this episode of the Coming Out Late podcast, Robin introduces you to two new friends of hers - Rebecca and Issy, the co-founders of YES!, via an episode of one of their very own podcasts. YES! is a nonprofit educational organization that provides sex-positive, intersectional, consent-based, sexuality education to people of ALL ages. Yes! stands for Your Empowered Sexuality. They offer anti-oppressive and shame-free educational programs using interactive workshops, social media, and other mediums - both virtually and in-person. And YES! has their own podcast too, called, What Is Sex?Robin thought it would be fun for you to listen to one of their podcast episodes appropriately called, “How do you know that you’re gay?”, which originally aired in S2:E4 of What Is Sex?, on October 11, 2020.In this episode of What Is Sex?, “How do you know that you’re gay?”, you will hear YES! Co-Founders Rebecca and Issy talk about . . .The question behind the question, “when do you first remember wondering if you are gay?”Did you ever think about women/girls romantically? If so, when?Why are feelings for women so different and confusing compared to feelings toward men?If I’m not feeling aroused from kissing a woman, am I allowed to still say I’m attracted to women? Is it maybe because I’m kissing straight girls/women?Gay Gossip; the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA).The CompHet Speaker Summit: the link to purchase your ticket to attend the Speaker Summit Live is posted here, (as well as in these Show Notes below).Here’s the link to Register to attend and pay: https://calendly.com/womenlovingwomen/wlw-speaker-summit-3If you cannot attend the Speaker Summit Live, not to worry, we got you - you can purchase a recording of the 2+ hour long event by using the email below.Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation for all the time and love and energy she pours into our Community. Any and all donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLinks to resources:YES!: www.yestoconsent.orgOur expert guests are from YES! - Your Empowered Sexuality - a non-profit organization dedicated to providing intersectional, consent-based, shame-free sexuality education to all people using interactive workshops, social media, and other mediums. Check them out at: www.yourempoweredsexuality.org

In today’s episode of the Coming Out Late podcast, Robin discusses the topics of fear and confusion as they relate to the coming out late process. Robin explains, “...fear and confusion have been pervasively popping-up in a variety of forums where people gather for support and conversation regarding their coming out late journey’s. We need to have open and honest conversations about the common fears we experience and the mind-blowing confusion we’re hit with when coming out later in life.”In this episode you will learn… above all else, you are not alone! What you are thinking and feeling and experiencing is not only common and ‘normal’, but temporary as well.ways to dispel some common concerns and ‘arm’ you with some understanding of the coming out process, in order to help ease your overtaxed nervous systems.that we all share similar feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, confusion, self-loathing, and a deep, deep visceral fear of the unknown at various points along our coming out transformation.there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to approach our coming out; there is no ‘right way’ to confront and resolve the relationships affected by our coming out. In fact, in many cases, we choose not to even act-on our awareness of our awakened queer identities - that for some - simply acknowledging that side of ourselves and possibly sharing that knowledge with a loved one is ‘enough’. fifty to one-hundred women, a WEEK, are requesting to join our ‘Coming Out Late’ FB Group.Worry is another form of fear. Worrying is a waste of our energy and a misuse of our imagination. “Worrying” is like praying for something that you don’t want. (What we focus on grows). Worry is also just a way to attempt to control something we have no control over.NO amount of worry is going to change the future - none. So, why worry? And if no amount of worry is going to change the future, then no amount of REGRET will change the past.But ANY amount of gratitude that you can muster-up during this phase of our awakening, WILL change the present. Any amount of gratitude WILL change the present. Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLinks to resources:ONE-on-ONE PRIVATE COACHING w/ROBIN DOUGLASSThere is nothing like the comforting effects of two late bloomers talking about the process and journey of coming out later in life together; especially when one of them is a “been there, done that” Coming Out Late in Life Coach. Robin is now offering private one-on-one coaching for men and women who are in need of some support, compassionate conversations, guidance and accountability during this confusing time in our lives. For more information about her coaching services reach out to Robin at: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.

In this episode, Robin continues to break the mold in the world of LGBTQ podcasting by introducing us to one of her listeners, Michelle, hailing all the way from Australia. Robin was so struck by a note she received from Michelle, that she knew she had to share it with her listener’s, with MIchelle’s consent of course. Robin also knew that the impact of Michelle’s words and all the sentiment behind them would be better spoken by Michelle herself. So, Michelle agreed to read her own letter to Robin, aloud, for the Coming Out Late audience.Whether covered directly, or implied, this episode touches upon topics which get us thinking about . . .The universal nature of coming out late, no matter where in the world we live.The effect of women in non-traditional, but male-dominated occupations.Is it a woman’s responsibility to help make a man feel ‘whole’ if he feels emasculated or threatened by a woman?Being with men, cutting off bits of myself and making myself smaller in order that they would feel like men.Many of the late in life stories include complex arrangements and rearrangements of marriage and children and Incredibly courageous and challenging journeys. This guest doesn’t have children, and is not married.There is more to “identity” than just our sexuality.A life lived out of other people's expectations is a life dominated by fear and resentment.Being honest with other women, from the very start.Am I an “L”? A “B”? Or maybe a “P”? Do we need labels? How do I flirt with a woman?Do I now need to dress differently and wear beanies?Which life-lived is my real reality? Everything feels completely flipped upside-down, or sideways, or completely averse.Sexual identity versus cultural conditioning; internalized homophobia, people pleasing and the female anatomy.It seemed that the rainbow world offered many possibilities for stepping out of one cage and into another.Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation for all the time, love and energy she pours into our Community. Any and all donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

In this week’s episode, “Things to Consider When Coming Out Late”, Robin shares with us a smattering of subject matters and insights that relate to coming out late. The five insights that Robin shares with us are:There’s power in the pause.Don’t compare yourself to other people.Your coming out late journey is yours; it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.Participating in Pride Events.Expect the unexpected and be prepared for the highs ‘n lows.Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLinks to Resources:SUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS:  ON HIATUS UNTIL Sept. 15, 2025THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: ON HIATUS UNTIL Sept. 16, 2025NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: ON HIATUS UNTIL Sept. 17, 2025COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:If you are interested in attending the last retreat of the season, to Grand Junction, CO (Sept. 4-8), then email Robin ASAP while there are still spots available. Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.comPRIVATE 1:1 COACHING w/ROBIN DOUGLASSStruggling to make sense-of and MANAGE this new aspect of your COMING OUT LATE life? Then send me an email and request my 1:1 Coaching Information Sheet. It really does make a BIG difference to have someone like myself who ‘gets you’ and who has been through it. Email me at Comingoutlater@gmail.com for my Coaching Info Sheet.SUPPORT ROBIN’S PODCAST:Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassJOIN the COMING OUT LATE FACEBOOK GROUP:If you are AFAB, nonbinary, lesbian, bi-, pan-, and have recently, or ARE coming out late in life - join us in my private facebook group, “Coming Out Late”. Here’s the link:  www.facebook.com/groups/209443717714063/ .

Can somatic healing help us on our coming out late journey? Check out part 2 of this week's episode where Robin discusses somatic healing and its benefits with somatic healing expert Lynn Fraser. If you missed part 1, you can catch it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-out-late/id1589128068?i=1000714770443In this episode, you will learn . . .  What effect has the HIV/AIDS crisis had on the closeted and ‘out’ LGBTQ+ community?Healing from shame and guilt: learn how to regulate our own nervous system; come back into awareness of our own humanity; breathing and somatic inquiry; connection in community like our Coming Out Late Community, and building a strong mind and resilient nervous system.Shame is just another part of our nervous system. We are meant to have an intense experience with shame because the purpose of shame  was to stop us from doing something that will get us kicked out of the tribe.Every culture  has taboos of what you don't do. If you do that, you're gonna get kicked out. Utilize somatic inquiry and ask ourselves: When do I feel shame? What are my experiences with shame?Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:LYNN FRASER  (she, they). To learn more about Lynn Fraser, her offerings and classes, check her out here:Website: “Somatic Mindfulness Inquiry”,  https://lynnfraserstillpoint.com/Blog: https://lynnfraserstillpoint.com/blogInsight Timer App: https:// insighttimer.com  (Search for Lynn Fraser) Resources and links;  Access to my books and courses; RadicalRecoverySummit and, Join us for Daily Practice 8AM EasternSUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: ON HIATUS UNTIL SEPT. 17th2025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To attend either of these retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 25-27, and, GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 5-8

How can somatic healing help us on our coming out late journey? In this two-part episode Robin discusses somatic healing and trauma, and its benefits with somatic healing expert Lynn Fraser.In this episode, you will learn . . .  What is somatic healing?  Trauma is stored in our bodies as sensations and energy with associated memories, thoughts.How can somatic healing help us on our coming out late journey?Why we’re uncomfortable to go back into our bodies and feel?  We discuss the question: “How can I become more aware-of and familiar-with the sensations and energy in my body?” When inquiring within our bodies,  we can: welcome the sensations and energy in our own body; get to know ourselves on a very deep level, and that our nervous system is always trying to protect us. Somatic Healing has everything to do with being comfortable and knowing what's going on in our body and we, we can release and heal the stored trauma in a safe way by doing that. Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:LYNN FRASER: (she, they). To learn more about Lynn Fraser, her offerings and classes, check her out here.Website: “Somatic Mindfulness Inquiry”,  https://lynnfraserstillpoint.com/Blog: https://lynnfraserstillpoint.com/blogResources and links;  Access to my books and courses; RadicalRecoverySummit and, Join us for Daily Practice 8AM EasternThe prequel to this week’s episode, dropped last week - have a listen:#185: The Evolution- and Acceptance-of Trauma In Our Societyhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-out-late/id1589128068?i=1000713694721 SUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: EVERY Wednesday, 75 mins; 12:30pm EST, Zoom, $10pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/931352025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To be put on the email list for these retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.-PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 25-27-GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 4-8

Our coming out journey can be fraught with challenges, loss, little victories, followed up with more stress, anxiety, shame and guilt. What does our society think about these kinds of feelings and reactions? Are they considered trauma-responses? Or are we supposed to just ‘get over it’ or cope with it, independently.In this episode, you will learn . . .  About the differences between Big “T” and Little “t” trauma.How both Big “T” and Little “t” trauma were perceived decades ago, as compared to how society views and distinguishes them ‘today’.What were the few things that were considered Big “T” trauma?What is ‘trauma-informed care’?What does it mean if someone suffers from ‘cumulative stressors’? Holistic & integrated approaches to the rescue! Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:SOMATIC HEALING w/ChrisTake Care of Your Healing and Self-Care journey by purchasing a packet of 6 sessions of Chris’ Somatic Healing Series. It will be offered six times on Saturdays, (at 10am EST), beginning June 28, and six Tuesdays, (at 12 noon EST), beginning July 1st. Purchasing a 6-pack of sessions for $120, allows you to attend any six sessions listed. To Register, email Chris at: Genderexpansiveyogi@gmail.comSUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: EVERY Wednesday, 75 mins; 12:30pm EST, Zoom, $10pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/931352025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To be put on the email list for these retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.-PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 25-27-GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 4-8

In this week’s episode, Robin talks about the keys to living a serene and fulfilling life. Robin puts on her philosophical beret and covers topics such as “acceptance”, “surrendering”, “expectations” and “letting go” and what in the world does that have to do with coming out late?Give yourself permission to ‘think’ and ‘do’ differently; because we can!Nothing changes if nothing changes.We ALWAYS have options and choices to ‘think’ and ‘do’ differently.It’s how we respond to adversity, to challenge, that defines our character.We must accept we have no control over people, places, things & situations.The key to life, to serenity, and to living a fulfilled life is ACCEPTANCE.We learn how to accept by learning how to surrender; we learn how to surrender by learning how to LET GO.We need to learn how to let go of - and live free-from - ‘desired outcomes’ and ‘expectations’.The myth about chasing ‘ideal outcomes’. What’s the probability of catching our ‘desired outcomes’? What’s the cost of chasing our desired outcomes?We’re not in the CONTROL business - that’s codependency’s job!Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:SUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: EVERY Wednesday, 75 mins; 12:30pm EST, Zoom, $10pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/931352025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To be put on the email list for these or future retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.-PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 24-27-GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 4-7

In this Part 2 episode, Robin continues her conversation about the importance of developing a money mindset in our lives; especially before, during and after our coming out late journeys. Together Robin and Sabrina, another late bloomer themselves, share their own beginner’s knowledge and personal experiences, not from any kind of ‘expert’ stance. Whether you are in a contractual relationship, a marriage, partnered or non-partnered, it is critical that we late bloomers have a sense of money matters, know our financial rights and have a better understanding of our financial position in our world.In this episode you will learn… What IS a “Money Mindset”? And how/why does that affect YOU?Three steps in budgeting: (1) try to save 10% of your income, (2) know what your monthly fixed expenses are and try to keep them at 50-60% of your income, and (3) put aside about 30% for “spending” or your “fun money”.You can only cut-back your expenses so much, but, can you renegotiate your big, big fixed expenses, (i.e., auto insurance, homeowners insurance, your mortgage to a lower interest rate, rent, etc.); the next question is, can you increase your income at all?Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, work part time, or even full time, know what value you bring to your marriage and be willing to fight for your value!Know what the rental market is in your area and determine what your income needs to be in order to move out and live on your own.If neither you and/or your spouse cannot afford to move out, then you both need to ask the question, “...how can we meet our needs within the marriage. Are you ok with me seeing someone else and you seeing someone else…?” (a.k.a., ethical non-monogamy).Whether or not you stay in the marriage, there will always be trade-offs. The questions are: What are you financially able to trade-off? And, what are you comfortable trading-off?Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:SUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: EVERY Wednesday, 75 mins; 12:30pm EST, Zoom, $10pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/931352025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To be put on the email list for these retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.-PORTLAND, ME: June 19-22, 2025 - ONE SPOT STILL REMAINING-PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 25-27-GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 4-7

Robin has a casual but critical conversation with late bloomer, Sabrina, about the importance of developing a money mindset; especially as late bloomers on our coming out late journeys. Whether in a contractual relationship, a marriage, partnered or non-partnered, it is critical that we late bloomers have a sense of money matters, know our financial rights and have a better understanding of our financial position in our world.In this episode you will learn… What is a “money mindset”? How do you develop a mindset around money? How does it affect you and your future?What's your relationship with money? What has your journey with money been throughout your life? How did your relationship with money first get formed? Do you think you are capable of handling money?What are the 'stories' you tell yourself, [surrounding money], and the automatic reactions you have in your body, [as it relates to money matters.]To develop a healthy money mindset, we must first go through three steps: 1. bring awareness-to our own beliefs around money; what are we telling ourselves about money? 2. Where do my beliefs around money come from? How did your parents talk about money? Were they spenders or savers? 3. Then ask yourself, "Are those beliefs still serving me in my life now?"Improving your money mindset, and becoming proactive about your awareness and understanding of money matters can incrementally impact your future financial security.Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglassLINKS to RESOURCES:SUPPORT GROUPS:MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736THE GENDER EXPANSIVE EDITION: EVERY Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: EVERY Wednesday, 75 mins; 12:30pm EST, Zoom, $10pp each week via Buy Me A Coffee. Register each week using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/931352025 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS:To be put on the email list for these retreats, email Robin: Comingoutlater@gmail.com.-PORTLAND, ME: June 19-22, 2025 - ONE SPOT REMAINING-PHILADELPHIA, PA: July 25-27-GRAND JUNCTION, CO: Sept. 4-7A NEW COMING OUT LATE OFFERING:“Quieting the Mind & Finding Stability in Your Coming Out Late Process”.A gentle, body-centered somatic healing series, led by Chris, our seasoned Somatic Worker & Yoga Therapist. TWO Saturdays remain.Saturdays: May 31, and June 7. 10am-11am EST.Drop-In Fee: $25/class.Use this links to sign-up: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/398482