Intentional Therapist: Putting You In Your Schedule

How many of you remember the ‘set it and forget it’ rotisserie oven infomercials from the 1990’s?  Even if that doesn’t ring a bell, the fact is that as humans we love the idea of only having to do something once, and then not having to think about it again.  In this episode, we’re talking about how this allure creates a sneaky but very common belief: that self-care is also something you can just check off once and be done with. Maybe it’s the spa day. Or the weekend away. Or the one good routine you set up years ago. And while those things can help in the moment, the truth is: self-care doesn’t work like a kitchen appliance that you can just ‘set and forget’. But we are here to convince you that this can be a good thing!Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #6:  Self-care needs to be personalized and revisited often.Why the old view doesn't serve us: We feel disappointed and even ashamed when a one-size-fits-all, one-time fix doesn't address all our self-care challenges. The new view: Self-care is a living practice that evolves with us, and needs to fit our own needs as well as our season of life.Self-care experiments:Self-care inventoryMicro-pivotSeasonal resetConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

When you think about why self-care is hard, what comes to mind? Maybe not enough time, or feeling guilty, or just forgetting until you’re completely burned out. The dominant story says: if you can’t manage your self-care, you’re not disciplined enough. You’re not resilient enough. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this work.But here’s the twist: what if these struggles aren’t actually personal failings at all? What if they’re the result of how we’ve been socialized — shaped by gender expectations and professional norms — in ways that make self-care feel unnatural, even wrong?  This really important point, and how we can counter it, is what we are diving into in this episode.Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #5: Self-care challenges are shaped by gender and professional socialization – NOT personal failings!Why the old view doesn't serve us: It turns self-care into a moral failing, so then we blame ourselves for struggling.The new view: Gender norms and professional socialization are powerful forces working against our self-care.  When we recognize this we can release the shame and reclaim our agency.Self-care experiments:Name the scriptFlip the praiseTry a micro-boundary experimentResources Mentioned:Episode 5: You are a human being, not a human giver: 3 ways the self-care game is rigged for women and how you can fight backVisit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

How many times have you said — or thought — ‘I’d love to take better care of myself, but I just don’t have the time’? Or, ‘I’m way too tired.’ Or maybe, ‘I can’t afford it right now.’  These are probably the three biggest roadblocks therapists and other caring professionals name when it comes to self-care: time, energy, and money.  And we get it — those are real constraints.  But here’s the thing: when we define self-care as something that requires extra time, energy, or money, we actually make it harder to sustain.  We set ourselves up for a cycle of guilt and avoidance.  So in this episode, we are here to convince you of a better way of dealing with these very real but ‘overcome-able’ constraints. Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #4: Self-care doesn't have to cost a lot of time, energy, or moneyWhy the old view doesn't serve us: We wait for 'perfect' conditions — which never occur — that instead make us feel like we are falling shortThe new view: Sustainable self-care happens by weaving it into our daysSelf-care experiments:Anchor to what you already doThe one-minute resetReframe endingsResources Mentioned:Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

Here’s something that might surprise you:  some of the best self-care doesn’t feel good in the moment.  Think about it — how many times have you dreaded going for a run, having that hard conversation, or finally making the dentist appointment you’ve been putting off… only to feel so much lighter, clearer, and better afterward?We often expect self-care to look easy and comforting, like bubble baths and spa days. But sometimes, self-care looks like sweating, crying, or facing something you’ve been avoiding. And if we expect it to feel good all the time, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment — and avoidance.  So stick with us, because in today’s episode we are going to convince you that the best self-care often doesn’t feel so good in the moment, but can have lasting positive effects.Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #3: Self-care can be uncomfortable (but worth it!)Why the old view doesn't serve us: We end up chasing quick and easy fixes, that don't actually sustain us, and instead deplete us in the long runThe new view: Real self-care isn't always comfortable, but it is always worthwhileSelf-care experiments:Do the 'one thing' you've been avoidingPractice micro-discomfortJournal on discomfortResources Mentioned:Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

When was the last time you said ‘no’ to someone? And we don’t mean a playful no, or a no with an apology attached, but a real, solid, unapologetic ‘no.’If you’re anything like most therapists — especially women in our field — that question might make you squirm a little. Because somewhere along the way, we got the message that taking care of ourselves means we’re taking something away from someone else. That it’s indulgent. Or worse — selfish.But what if we told you that choosing yourself isn’t selfish at all — it’s actually one of the most generous things you can do for others? That’s what we hope to convince you of in this episode.Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #2: Self-care is not selfish, and is not just about treating ourselvesWhy the old view doesn't serve us: Our worth becomes equated with how much we give to others, and how little we needThe new view: Self-care is in fact stewardship, and resource managementSelf-care experiments:Say no onceProtect one block of timeChallenge your definition of selfishResources Mentioned:Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

If you’re a therapist who feels like self-care always comes last, you’re not alone. Most of us were trained—implicitly or explicitly—to treat our own needs as optional, something to squeeze in after clients, paperwork, and family demands. But what if that belief is exactly what’s draining your energy, your clarity, and even your ability to show up fully for the people you serve?In today’s episode, we’re kicking off a new series that challenges outdated ideas about self-care and replaces them with essential upgrades. We’ll start with one of the most important shifts: recognizing that self-care isn’t extra—it’s part of the work. Because when we stop treating our well-being as optional, everything changes: our presence in sessions, our resilience, and the sustainability of our careers.Episode Highlights:Self-care belief system upgrade #1: Self-care is part of our workWhy the old view doesn't serve us: Self-care is seen as optional and exhaustion is normalizedThe new view: Self-care is a core professional competence and part of our deliverablesSelf-care experiments:Create a reset/recovery ritualAudit your scheduleProfessional alignment reflectionResources Mentioned:Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid SchulteVisit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What if your to-do list isn’t the problem — but rather a quiet signal that one of your self-care pillars is out of balance? As therapists, we’re trained to notice these signs in others, but we often overlook the gentle nudges from within:  things like a creeping sense of resentment, a loss of joy, or a growing disconnection from the parts of ourselves that used to feel vibrant. As we kick off a new season of Putting You In Your Schedule, we’re inviting you to slow down with us and take stock — not with judgment, but with curiosity and compassion.In this episode, we’ll walk you through a seasonal self-care check-in using our 4 C’s framework: Connection, Compassion, Courage, and Creativity. Whether or not you’ve used our self-care assessment tool before, we’ll help you pause to notice what’s working, what’s not, and where there’s room for small but meaningful shifts. Let’s begin this season with intention around the foundation that supports everything else — our own well-being.Episode Highlights:A refresher on the 4 C's modelThe 4 C's self-care assessmentSigns that we might need to pay attention to each of our 4 C'sSelf-Care Experiments:Assess your self-care needs in this specific seasonShare your self-care assessment with a trusted colleague or loved oneTake some baby stepsResources Mentioned:Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What if the real secret to sustainable self-care isn’t about working harder—or even trying to be “better”—but simply about noticing, connecting, and giving yourself permission to take small, imperfect steps? In today’s episode, we’re taking a second look at the many self-care experiments we’ve shared throughout the year to reveal a refreshingly doable framework that can support you, not just in theory, but in real life.As we wrap up the season and head into summer, we’re reflecting on the common threads woven through our self-care experiments— and offering you a fresh way to approach your own self-care journey. Whether you’re just tuning in or have been with us all season, you’ll leave today’s episode with a clearer, kinder path forward—and a little extra inspiration to carry you into your next season. Episode Highlights:Round-up of self-care experiments shared throughout this seasonThemes in experimentsNotice/monitor/observe (kindly and non-judgmentally!)Connect with colleaguesChallenge unhelpful beliefs with permission and imperfect actionSelf-Care Experiment:Use the Notice-Connect-Challenge frameworkResources Mentioned:Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

Have you ever looked at your schedule and wondered why everyone else’s needs made the cut—but yours didn’t?  In this podcast episode, we’re exploring a question we hear all the time: Why can’t I actually put myself in my schedule?!  If you resonate with this question, know that you are not alone, and, that you are not doing anything wrong.  Please stick around as we explore what contributes to this struggle of protecting the time we want to devote to our self-care.  And most importantly, we will be sharing three practical, intentional ways to support your self-care efforts—without adding more pressure or guilt. These are simple shifts that can help you hold space for yourself, just like you do for everyone else. Let’s talk about how to stop squeezing yourself out of your calendar and start making your needs a priority again.Episode Highlights:Change is hard, even for therapistsImpact of our beliefsImpact of life circumstances and readiness for changeRemember that change is a processSelf-Care Experiments:  Use permission liberallyUse scaffolding liberallyFigure out what doesn’t work for youResources Mentioned:Episode 2 on Toxic Time Messages Episode 11 on Self-Care SabotageEpisode 12 on Personal Rights Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What does your typical day look like?  Does it include regularly occurring breaks or do you often find yourself constantly on the go?  If you’re like most of the female mental health therapists we’ve spoken with, most of your days probably feel like you’re going non-stop, both at work and at home.  And while there can admittedly be some sense of accomplishment that comes with fitting as many things from our never ending “to-do list” into our days, it comes at a cost.  In today’s episode we’ll talk about the concepts of energy expenditure and energy recovery and three important ways that breaks can contribute to your self-care.  And, as always, we’ll wrap up the episode with some practical self-care experiments, because taking breaks is often much harder than it seems!  So if you’re in need of some justification for yourself, or others, about why we truly need breaks, then stay tuned.Episode Highlights:The importance of both energy expenditure and energy recoveryWork and rest are partnersWe can get better at rest3 benefits of taking breaksSelf-Care Experiments:  Monitor your energy patternsAdd in some breaks to your scheduleExperiment with how you spend your breaks   Resources Mentioned:2021 study by the Microsoft Human Factors LabBook:  The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz Book:  Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang Podcast:  Episode 258 of The Lazy Genius Podcast with Kendra Adachi, about the 7 different kinds of rest Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.caConnect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:intentional@intentionaltherapist.cahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025 Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.