E21: Belief system upgrade #5: Self-care challenges are shaped by gender and professional socialization – NOT personal failings!

When you think about why self-care is hard, what comes to mind? Maybe not enough time, or feeling guilty, or just forgetting until you’re completely burned out. The dominant story says: if you can’t manage your self-care, you’re not disciplined enough. You’re not resilient enough. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this work.

But here’s the twist: what if these struggles aren’t actually personal failings at all? What if they’re the result of how we’ve been socialized — shaped by gender expectations and professional norms — in ways that make self-care feel unnatural, even wrong?  This really important point, and how we can counter it, is what we are diving into in this episode.

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #5: Self-care challenges are shaped by gender and professional socialization – NOT personal failings!
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: It turns self-care into a moral failing, so then we blame ourselves for struggling.
• The new view: Gender norms and professional socialization are powerful forces working against our self-care.  When we recognize this we can release the shame and reclaim our agency.
• Self-care experiments:
  • Name the script
  • Flip the praise
  • Try a micro-boundary experiment

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 5: You are a human being, not a human giver: 3 ways the self-care game is rigged for women and how you can fight back
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
intentional@intentionaltherapist.ca
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study *Special for Cyber week - save 40% until December 8 with the code: CYBER2025

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.