Ask Kati Anything

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains the difference between depression and general disappointment. She also gives us options for ways to reward ourselves that don’t involve food or spending a lot of money, and discusses the reasons we may feel too broken for therapy. Then she offers some ways people pleasers can do the necessary things that will end up hurting someone’s feelings, and the difference between rumination and healthy processing. Finally, she explains what fear of rejection is and how it differs from fear of abandonment. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. My question is about distinguishing between depression (or another mental disorder) and general disappointment or dissatisfaction with life. What would you say to someone who was not feeling happy about being alive but also not necessarily depressed or mentally ill? What if you just feel you don't like life and you don't particularly enjoy it? What if your dissatisfaction with life is just a combination of your personality, your resilience and... 2. How can I reward myself? I had an eating disorder and I feel like I am shopping too much. How can I reward myself without subconsciously supporting old behavior? 3. I feel like I’m too broken for therapy. I have a fear of abandonment and I think it makes therapy really hard for me. I find it so hard to actually get help because I’m so afraid of losing my therapist. I don’t want to open up and get attached because I know it’s not forever. And the more I share the more afraid I am that she is going to leave me. I can’t stop thinking about... 4. Do you have any tips for people pleasers who are struggling to do things that are necessary but will upset other people? Like breaking up with someone you’re dating when you can tell it isn’t working out or setting boundaries with a friend you care about but who is taking advantage of your willingness to help? 5. Could you talk about the difference between healthy emotional processing vs rumination? 6. Hey Kati, can you explain the fear of rejection vs fear of abandonment. I feel like a lot of people think it’s the same. I have CPTSD. I don’t fear abandonment. I actually expect it... ______________ MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton answers audience questions about when and why we would need to reach out to our therapist in between sessions, whether or not therapists judge our “crazy” thoughts, and the difference between fidgeting and self injury. She then talks about dissociation, the different diagnoses and symptoms, and how to work through it. Finally, she discusses why it can be hard for us to get away from our abusers, and some nice ways of telling people we can’t be there for them right now. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. Hi Kati! My therapist always says that I can reach out to her any time that I’m in crisis. I never do even when I’m feeling really down, anxious, and/or dysregulated because I’m not and have never had suicidal or self-harming behaviors. But I’ve gone through some really tough emotions and thoughts when I wanted to reach out. What does it mean to be “in crisis” and when is it appropriate to reach out to your therapist outside of your sessions? 2. What goes on in a therapists head when their client is saying something that the therapist thinks is “crazy”? Does the therapist ever have a hard time not judging or showing judgment to their client by accident? Thanks for all you do and the time and effort you put in every week! 3. My question is about anxiety fidgeting and self injury. In my therapy sessions, especially if we are talking about a hard topic, I tend to pinch and scratch my hands, to the point where I leave with red marks and sometimes bruises on them. I don’t realize I’m doing it because I’m so focused on the topic at hand and explaining my thoughts clearly to my therapist. Is this just anxiety? Or is this self injury? Either way I don’t know if it’s bad or typical or just plain fidgeting. Thanks for everything! 4. I dissociate a lot. Sometimes I do things that I have no memory of. Thankfully, nothing bad. A lot of times when I dissociate I become a little girl. She emails my therapist, colors Winnie the Pooh pictures for her. Sometimes I am like a very angry teenager. I don’t have DID that we know of, but something is happening. There are also times that I feel as if I’m not really me being a mom to my kids, but I cover it so well that they... 5. I hope you don't mind me asking this question again as it didn't get picked the last time. Why is it so hard to walk away from your abusers? In my case it is moving out from home. (I'm in my early twenties). 6. I’m the friend that people tend to come to when they need to vent. All of my friends and family know if they need someone I’ll be there! Sometimes though I get overwhelmed with that. Is there a nice way to explain that I am not able to listen to them vent right now? Thanks Kati!! ______________ MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠⁠BetterHelp⁠⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠PATREON⁠⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Ask Kati Anything ep. 202 licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about job-related trauma, medical trauma, and managing life and expectations when we struggle with depression and bouts of suicidal thoughts. She then digs into some tips for opening up in therapy, what it really looks like to ask for help, and explains what eldest daughter syndrome is. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS 1. My question is about job-related trauma. I’m a school crisis interventionist and work with students who can become really dysregulated and physical. Could this physical aggression towards me be considered traumatic? 2. Could you talk more about how to handle life if you struggle with chronic bouts of depression and/or suicidality but you still need to achieve goals and keep your job? It's one thing to take time off when you're acutely struggling, but an entirely different one to you struggling for years on end and even with the perfect treatment (in my case, at least) still often have many hours, days, even weeks when you can barely get anything done. 3. Any tips to open up in therapy? I feel like I tense up every session and no words come out, so I end up just not talking all session even though I want to. I trust my therapist so I know it’s not that, yet I still don’t feel comfortable talking and don’t know what to do about it. 4. Please Kati talk about medical trauma while battling chronic Terminal illness & how to beat it..I'm currently in This situation..I honestly want to give up having meds, seeing drs or even eating.. I'm exhausted from so many appointments for so many years to end up sicker than expected & on top of it being treated badly due to my rare illness..I'm very unwell mentally more than physically, there's no known cure for my diseases and I even lost my ability to speak as a result... 5. Hi Kati, for those of us who couldn't rely on anyone as a child. What do people mean by asking for help or asking for support? What would it mean if I asked for help? What could someone do to help make it better? What are the options? As a child, I have learnt that if I freeze, it will work itself out. But if I were to stand up, I would get hurt... 6. I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on "eldest daughter syndrome". Is this something that can happen even if your parents weren't uninvolved or unable to show up for important aspects? Is it even real/factually supported? MY BOOKS (in stores now) ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, ⁠BetterHelp⁠ can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠https://betterhelp.com/kati⁠⁠ PATREON⁠ https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS ⁠Instacart⁠ ⁠Amazon⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton explains her feelings about not seeing clients anymore, why some of us can’t stop thinking about our therapist no matter how hard we try, and why we can obsess over eating disorder content. She then talks about why our struggles can be inconsistent, how to deal with a child who has BPD, and the effects of financial trauma. Finally, she explains what emotional neglect is and how it can play out as we grow up. Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 201 1. I was wondering if you could tell us more about how you feel about not working with clients anymore, the reasons you've stopped and whether you ever miss it? 2. I wanted to ask why I can't stop thinking about my therapist no matter how hard I try. I spend hours of my day either googling her up, or trying to find a way to hear her voice or find a picture. I feel horrible for invading her privacy, but no matter what I do I can't seem to stop. Even though I find the same things online every time I search her up, I still continue to do it for hours hoping to find something new. Afterwards I feel extremely guilty and I can't sleep, and I want to punish myself... 3. I would love some feedback on why I seem to obsess over eating disorder content. Lately I have been obsessed with books, movies, & videos about EDs. I have gone through several periods like this in the past (the obsession seems to only last for like a week each time). I can’t seem to focus on anything else, which makes it hard for me to concentrate at work & to talk to my husband about how I am doing. 4. Why do I feel like my struggles are never consistent? I feel like one week I’m struggling a lot with my ED, another week I can’t stop thinking and getting urges to SH (and then feeling guilty for always doing it), and then a different week I have breakdowns, panic attacks, and crying spells due to some traumatic things that happened not so long ago. 5. Hi Kati...this is a difficult question to ask. Almost 5 years ago our young adult son moved out of our home leaving only a note that said "moved" on it. He cut off all communication with his dad and me and has very little with his older sister. A year prior to him leaving he was diagnosed with BPD after self admitting himself to a mental health facility. When he came home we had a roller coaster year with him, especially me. I am struggling badly with the idea of never seeing him again...and am filled with shame and guilt. I don't want this last several chapters of my life to be this...I am now agoraphobic, lonely and so depressed. I need joy back in my life. Who knows, perhaps by writing this comment I will find my joy. 6. My question is about the constant worry about finances. I’m hoping this question may resonate with someone else out there. So, for as long as I can remember I’ve worried about finances so much so, that I avoid spending money on myself most of the time. If I receive a gift card from someone during the holidays I sometimes use it to buy someone else a gift for a future occasion. I often experience a pain that feels almost physical when spending money on something that isn’t a recurring expense. This is typically followed by... 7. Is it emotional neglect if your parents never played with you as a child and didn't tell you how to use feminine hygiene products when you got your period and don't share anything about themselves? MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about why cleaning can be so hard when we are depressed, the reasons we can be depressed and still function at work or school. She then discusses how we actually go about processing emotions and traumas, and why we often want to retreat to our rooms when we don’t want to deal with others in the house. She also explains what she does when a patient with an eating disorder doesn’t want to get better, and how we can rebuild trust with our therapist after a difficult session.  Ask Kati Anything audience questions for podcast ep. 200  1. Why is cleaning so hard when depressed? On a scientific and spiritual level. This can be your room, body, car, etc. (COMMENTS: Same but I have autism as well as depression and even when I break tasks down into smaller tasks the number of things I need to do just seems so overwhelming... 2. Can you be “functional “ at work and deeply depressed at the same time? Sometimes I wonder if I’m just lazy when it comes to things that aren’t required of me. 3. How do you process emotions and traumas? I have been told many times that I need to deal with emotions and process them instead of ignoring them, and it makes sense but I don’t understand how to do that.  4. I find myself retreating to my room a lot as a safe space when I don't want to deal with others in the house. Is this an unhealthy way of coping?  5. How would you react if you had a new client who engages in disordered eating but doesn’t want to change their behaviors? I started seeing a new therapist 3 weeks ago and it’s been going well so far. I have so many things that I want to work on!  6. Hi Kati! My question is about rebuilding trust with my therapist after a tough therapy appointment. My therapist told me that her clinical “sense of things” thinks I would benefit from inpatient ED treatment. I’m a teacher and could not even imagine taking more than a couple days off because I’m sick or need to take a personal day. I worry that she will judge me for continuing outpatient treatment with her. I’m also worried that my honesty with... MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized   Are u ok?    ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati MERCHANDISE  https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ You Can Support this Podcast by shopping with our affiliates: Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney - linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A podcast featuring an honest conversation between Kati and Gabe Howard about bipolar disorder, hospitalizations, and symptoms that are often overlooked. They discuss treatment options, managing symptoms, and breaking down mental health stigma. Audience questions explore breakthrough moments in bipolar disorder and experiences in the hospital. The podcast delves into the complexities of psychiatric hospitalizations, less discussed symptoms of bipolar disorder, and the importance of proactive management and seeking support.

This podcast delves into deep feelings of loneliness, struggles in expressing upset to others, coping with goodbyes and endings, and dealing with hurtful people. It also explores ECT treatment effects, feelings of abandonment, and setting boundaries with toxic family members.

This episode of Ask Kati Anything tackles the bittersweet realities of unfulfilled expectations and lost dreams. Grieving the life you thought you’d have, parentification, emotional incest and spoucification. We also discuss why we can crave attention from people and hope that they see how badly we are doing. Then we dive into my thoughts on mental health care workers struggling with their own mental health issues, and why we can struggle to share anything with our parents. Finally, Kati offers ways to be more excited and hopeful for the future. Join Kati Morton in this empathetic and insightful episode as she guides us through navigating complex emotions, reclaiming lost selves, and ultimately finding hope amidst unlived lives. Audience questions: How to grieve the life you thought you'd have. i.e not having children, 40 and single/never married... Could you please talk a bit about parentification? I believe that it can be the root of many problems and I can't find that much about it. I feel like I was raised as... Is it "normal " that I constantly crave attention from some people (my favorite friend, therapist, doctors...), and that I wished that they could see how bad I'm doing (eating disorder). Hi Kati! Would love to hear your take on mental health care workers who also struggle with their mental health. I volunteer for a suïcide hotline, work as a mental health professional and struggle with my own mental health. For example ptsd and depression. It seems that a lot of mental health professionals have struggled or... Dear Kati, My parents are nice to me. However, I never feel comfortable telling my parents anything, I've become a very private person, I crave affection, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable receiving it from my parents. I also always feel distanced from them, and for some reason I never let them see me upset, or support me. I keep pushing them away even though How can I feel excited and hopeful about my future? I am someone who lives and looks into the past a lot. A friend suggested that it could be that way because somewhere I don't feel excited about my future which is why I feel maybe all the excitement was... MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized Are u ok? ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING... Instacart Amazon PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about dealing with depression and family obligations, how to deal with having past suicidal thoughts on your permanent record, and how to deal when going home causes us to revert back to an old version of ourselves. She also explains why anxiety can cause us to regress to a younger age, why positive emotions can be hard to accept and process, and how emotional neglect can affect us as we get older. Ask Kati Anything ep. 196 audience questions: 1. I’m a 25 year old male and a HSP. I’ve been struggling with depression the last 3 years of Uni. As much as I would like to continue my studies, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything. Despite my best efforts to concentrate on schoolwork, I experience mental blocks that persistently cloud my mind. I’ve talked with the school therapist without much progress...2. Hi Kati, I have had “suicidal ideation” in my permanent chart since last year. I also have “chronic suicidality” written in there. I’m also on 6 psych meds just for MDD and anxiety. When I see new doctors, I’m worried they will not listen to my concerns about anything for the rest of my life due to my chart containing so much negative information. I still have suicidal ideation but not like that specific day I was hospitalized. This is the one reason I find having labels and a “current health issues” list so frustrating. What can I do to prevent doctors from writing me off?3. I'm heading home from college soon for break, and I'm so not ready. It's like my family members are completely different people, and in a way my entire house feels like a weird alternate reality with strangers in it. I know this probably sounds dramatic because these people are my family and I have lived with them in that house for almost my entire life...4. Is it normal to age regress during panic attacks or would this be something else? It’s hard to explain but I’ve been having what feel like panic attacks but I come out of it feeling and acting like a small child, seeking comfort from things like blankets and stuffed animals. This makes it feel more like a flashback but nothing during it would suggest that. 5. I was wondering why it is so hard for me to accept and process positive emotions. Last week was my birthday and my students were super excited and most brought a picture, handmade card, flowers, small gifts. My fellow teachers and staff were super nice and I was super uncomfortable with all that attention. Wanted to happy cry, but couldn't cry. Also I have had people come observe me multiple times and leave positive compliments and just can't accept that what they wrote is true. Am I the only one who suffers from this?6. I grew up with parents who never comforted me as a child. There is not one memory I can recall where my parents held me or even just asked me how I was doing. As a 30 year old woman now, sympathy is nauseating to me. It physically feels like my skin crawls whenever someone expresses sympathy towards me. Even last year, when I experienced a pregnancy loss. Are these two things related? JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/membership MERCHANDISE https://spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt.com/katimorton/ MY BOOKS (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati PATREON https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE Instacart: https://www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses what it means to have an underdeveloped sense of self, why we can stop crying when we are struggling with suicidal thoughts, and why certain diagnoses can can frequently co occur together. Kati also discusses TBI’s and other head injuries and the effects that can have on our mental health. She then talks about being a mental health professional and having our own issues, and why therapists leave room for silence in sessions. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS for Ask Kati Anything episode 195 I often see “an underdeveloped sense of self” on symptom lists for mental illnesses, but I’ve never really seen a comprehensive description of what a fully developed sense of self looks like. How do you recognize when someone’s sense of self is underdeveloped? I am struggling with constant suicidal ideation and when I talk about it to my therapist or psychiatrist, I don’t cry when I say the hard stuff and I’m afraid it is painting the narrative that I am lying about it. But the truth is that in the past whenever I would cry, I wouldn’t get help. Also with this being constant for over 2 years, my therapist is expressing that she is beginning to feel helpless which makes me feel so bad and like a burden. What are your thoughts? I was wondering if you could explain why certain diagnoses can commonly be coexisting. Like why is having an ED and ocd seen together often? I'm in the trenches right now with both and GAD, and they feed into each-other and are so tightly intertwined, that even the idea of sorting them out is exhausting. At this point it feels like the "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" question and I find myself just going through the cycle of trying to attach the behavior to the correct diagnosis... I suffered a head injury about 6 months ago and have struggled with feeling depressed adjusting to my new way of life (not ‘smart’ anymore, can’t work full time, not able to participate in hobbies etc). For context I had anxiety before the injury and was apparently struggling a lot with this (I can’t remember the last couple of years). I’m struggling feeling anxious about being ‘stuck’ like this forever. I’m UK based and am receiving basic CBT... Right now I'm in my internship of counseling. I feel like I'm a fake and a failure. I personally struggle with anxiety and what I believe is ptsd. But my therapist recently changed it so it's not ptsd. I struggle with my parents divorce and dealing with a lot of emotions and anger towards my dad. Currently all of my clients that I'm getting are all struggling with similar issues.. Hi Kati, I have a new therapist. Been seeing her for almost two months. During our session I talk about something and when I'm done she just sits there in silence looking at me. It drives me crazy... MY BOOKS ⁠Traumatized⁠ ⁠Are u ok?⁠ ⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠ While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: ⁠PATREON⁠ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE I⁠nstacart⁠⁠Amazon⁠ ⁠Kati's Merchandise⁠ PARTNERSHIP Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com PLEASE READ If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices