Ask Kati Anything

Ask Kati Anything ep. 117 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT I'm wondering if it's important to go into the details of self injurious acts when discussing it with your therapist. My therapist always wants to know exactly how I self injured (what I used, where, etc) but it makes me super uncomfortable to go into such detail. I know I should probably ask her why, but that makes me uncomfortable as well..   Depression often robs us of all joy. Is there an effective way to combat anhedonia? How can we motivate ourselves to do things we used to enjoy, when our brain feels no pleasure from it whatsoever? Do we just force ourselves to do it and go through the motions in hopes that...   Should your therapist be similar or have similar values to you? I know that usually patients don’t know much about their therapists and their personal beliefs, and I agree that they shouldn’t. On the other hand, I sometimes wonder if therapy is more beneficial if certain values are the...   Sometimes I'm wondering what a 'normal' amount of stress or fear is. Everyone is experiencing stress sometimes. (Asking a colleague something, giving a presentation before a group of people, driving your car to a new location, walking in the dark...) At what point is stress or fear 'too much' for...   How do you approach patients that don’t feel anything? My last therapist said I was her most difficult client as I never knew how I was feeling I just knew I didn’t like it. I’m worried about seeing someone new as after a year and a half in therapy we came to a place of no progress and...   Can you explain how exposure therapy is supposed to work? I get nervous easily, but still manage to do the stuff that makes me nervous (when I can't avoid it or procrastinate).  For example, I get sick to my stomach, heart starts beating faster and find it a little harder to breathe whenever...   Why can’t I get myself to share things with my therapist? I am 6 sessions in and I want to start talking about things that matter and that I need help with but I can’t get myself to share. I do like her and trust her but I still can’t seem to do it. I find myself full of anxiety while there to the point where...   Can you explain the differences between dissociation and a flashback? Also both happen at the same time? My recent experience was triggered through a topic and I felt really anxious. During this I shivered, my muscles were tense and I couldn't react to the words of another person but still hear her. ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Ask Kati Anything ep. 116 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Why is it that I've always felt like there's something "wrong" with me? i've never sustained any big trauma, but from as young as twelve i've felt misunderstood and looked for a diagnosis that might fit my experiences (social anxiety, GAD, adhd, and autism to name some)— i've always been oversensitive, had a low tolerance for stress, a low self esteem and...   Hi Kati, there have been questions in the past about things like wanting to be sicker for a therapist to not lose them and I think you’ve said it’s attachment based. I always relate to the action in these scenarios but not the reason.... Have you ever been subpoenaed to testify about a patient? If not, can you tell us what that experience might be like for a therapist? What could cause a therapist to be subpoenaed? Do the rules of confidentiality change in the courtroom (if the patient is over 18)? Are you allowed to still be working with the patient when this happens?   How do you begin to get over anxiety and hypervigilance after living in an abusive home for pretty much your whole life? I am now living alone (in the same apartment I spent a large part of my life in) and don't know how to exist in the space after everyone moved out. I spent most of my life stuck alone in...   I've been lying to my therapist and I don't know what to do. background info: i lied when i brought up the possibility of me having bpd, i said it was a new thought in my mind but in reality i've been self diagnosing for years and have always noticed these patterns. We decided that I have symptoms but I don't seem borderline enough...   I have been diagnosed with CPTSD because of childhood sexual abuse by my Father that happened between 3 -9 years old. My question is I have little to no memory of the abuse. Sometimes I wonder if my brain is playing tricks on me and the abuse never happened and I am just making things up and blaming my dead father for...   I know you talked about something similar already, but I am unsure why I am jealous of people who got raped. I feel like that would be the only way that I have the right to feel as bad as I do. Or I wish that my father broke a bone when he hit me, so that it is not just me being dramatic. I am super scared of him, and people don’t understand that...   Do therapists only validate experiences when they think it's an issue or do they sometimes just validate to make you feel better about it? My therapist told me that I'd experienced trauma during a medical procedure (painful and felt I didn't have control, plus some issues with consent). I get flashbacks and now experience a lot of anxiety around...   Can you choose radical acceptance, and yet, still be mad? I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have a lot of mixed emotions after learning about my diagnosis.. ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Ask Kati Anything - your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: What are some healthy things to do immediately after a traumatic event occurs (hours after, days after) to process the memory and prevent symptoms of PTSD?    Do you have any advice on how to deal with anger and doubting your own emotions as a result of childhood abuse and gaslighting? I grew up walking on eggshells around my sister, who was very impulsive and mean and I also was emotionally abused by my grandmother. I held deep in myself all anger and hurt as my emotions were...   Is it normal to feel very anxious about sexual intimacy if nothing bad happened to you? Ever since I was a child (5 years old) I was very sexual, my earliest memory of sexuality/masturbation is me being alone in my room and role-playing that someone would tie me down and hold me in place while 'tickling me down there'. I always had such weird fantasies/daydreams of someone 'torturing' me, even in a non-sexual way...   Is it normal for me to hate my inner child who prevents me from doing inner child work? If yes, how can we proceed with the inner child work if that is the case?   I have a trauma anniversary coming up soon, and I’m starting to feel myself slide into a dark place of PTSD. I feel like my stomach is constantly turning, and everything reminds me of what happened. It’s been ten years, and I’m frustrated with myself for still feeling...   Is it possible to help yourself remember the details of a traumatic event that has been blocked from your memory? My dad died when I was 5, and I have spent my whole life trying to piece together my memories from that night. I grew up being told he died in a car accident, but recently learned that he actually killed...   I have been diagnosed with cptsd and ptsd (alongside other mental health illnesses). When I have been in therapy it's like my mind goes blank and it's hard to connect to my emotions and even to memories. Is this considered dissociation?    My question is can someone accidentally (or purposely I guess) fake PTSD? I have been consistently diagnosed with PTSD for over 10 years, despite constantly denying that I have trauma. I think people are assuming I just forget the “event” or something because I do have a terrible memory, but are there other things that can make it look like I have PTSD...   How does one go about sorting through C-PTSD? I’ve tried talk therapy, but I struggle to, we’ll, talk. I just always say “I’m fine,” get super flooded with internal anxiety, and go completely blank. Not super helpful. I’ve looked at alternative therapies, but they make me even MORE nervous (EMDR, Sand Tray, etc). I don’t know where to start... ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Ask Kati Anything - your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT This episode focuses on Attachment & BPD Audience questions:  I hear you talk about reparenting in order to deal with attachment issues a lot. My therapist wants to try this with me but somehow I feel very repulsed and almost angry when I think about this idea. I know, it's childish, but I don't want to do this myself. I want so bad for some other person to fill this parenting-hole and just having to care for myself, which is pretty much what I had to do all my life, just seems so unsatisfying. Are there other ways to deal with attachment issues from childhood abuse/neglect?   Is it possible to "fake" mental health problems and trauma responses? I was neglected as a child and now I find myself wanting to feel bad and making myself feel bad (or look bad) just so that my therapist sees it. I am also overly attached to him. Maybe I am just devalidating my traumas, but I sometimes feel like I am exaggerating my reactions to it because I don't think they were that... Can you talk more about quiet BPD? Most videos I see online are about the outward expressions of BPD rather than those who turn those actions inward towards themself. What are some examples of quiet BPD and how could someone share what they’re experiencing with their therapist when most characterize BPD by those stereotypical outward actions/responses?  I was diagnosed with CPTSD a year and a half ago. I have been told by my primary and secondary therapist, along with 2 other MH professionals that it’s not BPD. I have been self diagnosing because I have fear of abandonment, which my therapists know. I experienced emotional abuse, emotional neglect, and have memories of physical abandonment. Is it possible to have fear of abandonment...   When I was in therapy I would go through phases of feeling like pushing my therapist away and then feeling secure with her. I would tell her when I felt like pushing her away and she would reassure me that she would be there. I would then feel secure in the therapeutic relationship for a period of time...   Would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the heard and Depp trial in relation to the bpd / personality disorder diagnosis (only that - everyone can sit with their own thoughts on the trial as it plays out in public opinion but no hate or blame here please, it has the potential to do damage). I am shocked a professional can diagnose like that, considering how long many spend trying to get a diagnosis, and saddened to see a professional run with 'bpd stigmas / stereotypes in such a public trial... Would a therapist or psychiatrist ever hide a bpd diagnosis from a client/ patient? What would be the reasoning if so? When I had a case manager she said I had bpd (it was in my records not her diagnosis), but my psychiatrist never told me about it.   I was wondering if you had tips for a long distance relationship with someone with BPD. Thank you! (Others in the community, if you have tips too I’d love to hear them!)

Ask Kati Anything | podcast episode 113 centers around Anxiety (panic attacks, social anxiety, hypervigilance, etc)   QUESTIONS 1. What is a healthy or “normal” amount of anxiety to have around losing your job? I get great reviews at work and I even recently got promoted, but whenever I make even a small insignificant mistake or I didn’t do my absolute best, I get really hard on myself and I start to...   2. How do I stop using avoidance as a coping skill for my anxiety?? It’s gotten SO bad. It’s a terrible cycle because when I get behind in school work and housework I get anxious and cannot make myself do the work (especially when it’s something I really don’t want to do)  and I get further behind and the anxiety grows...   3. I know you've talked about something similar not too long ago, but I'm still wondering about anxiety surrounding therapy. I have so much of it. outside of session, all i can do is think about the few moments i embarrassed myself or said something in a stupid way, and wondering what my therapist...   4. Kati, you always say that the root of all anxiety is a lack of self-confidence. Can you elaborate what you mean by this?    5. When I was really struggling with anxiety 3 years ago, I had a really bad panic attack in front of my therapist, because she was asking me questions about the scary situation I was in and it was too much for me. I was shaking on the couch and she rubbed my back and helped me through it. I eventually got out of the...   6. Can you talk about the link between anxiety and dissociation? You’ve talked about “pulling the ripcord” but I still find it peculiar that I can go from being very anxious to dissociated in a short period of time since these feel like very different reactions. I also feel as if my anxiety only became an issue when I stopped dissociating...   7. How do you deal with negative or unwanted reactions from others when you show symptoms of anxiety? E.g. with social anxiety when you get feedback at work/school and people say "you should have practiced your talk better because you were too nervous". Or when you meet someone new and struggle to...   8. What about the anxiety before falling asleep. I do need to take sleeping pills because my mind won’t stop racing and thinking about stuff not always sad and bad but still unable to just fall asleep. I do have quiet bpd but...   9. I end up getting physically ill if I experience too much anxiety. It hasn't happened in a while because I have started seeing a therapist and have been working on CBT. But if I reach that point, I can't help but throw up. I've thrown up all over myself by accident. I've thrown up on my dashboard. It just happens... ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Episode focus: EATING DISORDERS Audience questions for Ask Kati Anything - Kati Morton's mental health podcast | episode 112  Is it possible to form an eating disorder on purpose? Recently I started tracking calories and am really focused on losing weight. When I eat too much I feel really bad and sometimes try to purge (even though I usually don't manage and feel even more useless afterwards). I think I still have it all under control but...   What’s the difference between emotional eating and binge eating? I feel like I use food as motivation and as a reward. At the end of my days when I get home from work or on weekends I will crave/eat all the sweets and snacks and food that I know isn’t the healthiest and I guess will   I'm wondering how to make yourself feel better on bad body image days? Also, is it possible to ever really like your recovery body? I often find myself really struggling with body image, and although I can avoid acting on behaviors at this point it is really exhausting to constantly hate my body...   I was wondering why I want to get sicker for my therapist. I opened up to her (sort of) about my eating disorder, but told her I wasn't too keen on recovering at the moment and she said she understood and wouldn’t force me. I know talking about it is inevitable, but I try not to think about it.   I’d like to know where the line is between just being an extremely picky eater and actually having an eating disorder?    I was wondering if you could talk more about memory loss & eating disorders. My therapist has brought up that my memory issues could be because of anorexia. what does she mean?? how does this happen?? i feel so stupid because i forgot the slightest things constantly, is this really because of my ed? I'm only fifteen, could this put permanent memory issues on my brain??   Why is it so hard to let go of the romanticized image in my head of the 'perfect anorexic'? And how can I learn to let go? I'm choosing for recovery at the moment, but only with the thought in mind that I never want to let go fully and am always able to go back to my ED habits. It's hard to let...    As a medically obese/overweight person who struggles with disordered eating (restriction/bp cycles), what are some healthy and effective ways to manage weight loss while not slipping back into dangerous habits? I want to lose weight, and I think it would improve my body image....   I am overweight and having health problems due to my weight and have started exercising and changing my diet. I have been struggling because I am becoming very hyper aware of calories and my weight and fixating on people's praises for my weight loss. How do I... ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Episode focus: THE THERAPY PROCESS Audience questions for Ask Kati Anything - Kati Morton's mental health podcast | episode 111 Can you ask your therapist to still see them every once in a while after therapy has ended? I'm 22 and have been seeing my psychologist off and on since I was 17, but since I've known my therapist for so long, I would miss...   You've been an absolute lifesaver, and I mean that literally. So, thank you. I'm not sure how to bring this up with my therapist, but I go through phases of extreme attachment. Like googling her name and finding out as much...   You’ve talked about the therapist not working harder than you as the patient but how do you know when you are reaching that point? I struggle really hard with opening up and do a lot better when my therapist asks...   How do I talk to my therapist about attachment? I get really easily attached and especially with my therapist because she is the first person who ever listened to me and seemed to care about me. But I tend to make myself worse (ed, self harm) whenever...   I hope you’re having a great weekend. My question about the therapy process is this: I’m always afraid that my therapist is going to refer me out to someone else. I read into everything that she says and does, waiting for her to tell me...   So I just recently started therapy. When I say recently I mean like tomorrow is my 4th appointment. I was anxious before my first appointment, but I have been even more anxious for the appointments since...   Do you have any recommendations for how we should decide and prioritize which topics to discuss in therapy? My therapist uses a psychodynamic approach and although I find it helpful it does mean that I have to guide which topics we... Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

EPISODE FOCUS: Trauma, PTSD, and recovery. Ask Kati Anything - Kati Morton's mental health podcast  Episode 110 audience questions:     Why do I feel so much shame and guilt about my trauma? It’s not just a necessary shame that it happened. It’s also guilt for upsetting others with it, and worrying that they’ll think less of me. Fear that they are judging. I almost want to downplay it to show that I’m still “normal” and it’s “no...    My question is can sexual abuse happen through people on the Internet. I’ve never heard anyone with a degree talk about it. But I’ve heard other people had the same experience as me through them talking about it on tik tok. My generation was the first generation who could have talked...    Is it possible to heal from trauma (child sexual abuse, incest) while still seeing your family? The abuse was disclosed and denied by the abuser and not believed by other family members. They go on like nothing has ever happened- the thing is, I don’t want to completely separate from them as I risk...    I would love for you to talk about growing up with parents who are hoarders. While they were loving parents, the home environment was traumatic. My parents struggle to see the damage that their behavior has on their children. Would love your thoughts on this and how to heal as an adult!     Sorry I know this isn’t really on psychology, but How to talk/support someone who has been through sexual abuse? I know you did a video on: how to talk to/ support someone who is struggling with suicide, a while ago...    I was wondering if you can say something about the family dynamics when it comes to past abuse and trauma. I was abused by my parents and a sibling in my childhood. The abuse stopped and the relationship changed. I have spent much time in therapy to deal with the trauma it caused...    Can childhood trauma make adult working life too much for some people? I really struggle with being needed and having responsibilities such as working certain days a week. I struggle with nightmares and some days I don't leave my bed when it's too bad which makes holding down a job just...    If you experience sexual abuse before you get to the age when you start to experience sexual attraction to others, how is it possible to know if the abuse has altered your sexuality or not? I was abused at the age of 14, and at the time I hadn't started to feel sexual attraction yet, only romantic attraction...    How can I know if I’m really an introvert or if I just avoid and distance myself from people because I’m afraid they could hurt me/let me down? And, if I find being around people draining - is it because I’m an introvert or because I’m managing anxiety and triggers? ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast - Episode 109 Your Questions:  Is it normal to have constant thoughts of suicide? Whenever anything goes mildly wrong, or even when nothing is wrong but I feel overwhelmed, self-harm and suicide are always where my mind goes to, even though I've never attempted it. How can I cope with this? Also, does it indicate that...   Can you talk a little bit about the effect of depression on the ability to concentrate? How does the lack of concentration in depression feel, and is it different from the lack of concentration in (for example) ADHD? (COMMENT: As a follow up question, could you talk about mental fog and how it might be...    Do you have any input on dealing with a single parent that has depression as a teenager that still lives at home? I feel like no one talks about this and it is really hard to live day by day because I am just worried all of the time, not about their physical safety but just the thought of them never being happy again...    How can I finally defeat depression once and for all? I´ve been struggling with depression for almost as long as I can remember. I´ve had my lowest lows and I can say I'm lucky enough right now not to be completely surrounded by that dark fog that feels like it's taking every part of myself...    I know suicidal thoughts and depression are different, and that you can have depression without suicidal thoughts, but is it possible to have suicidal thoughts but not depression? I have almost constant thoughts of suicide, and am very anxious but I don’t think I’m depressed and I don’t understand...    Could you talk about chronic depression and SI? I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember and even when things are a little better, those thoughts are still there. Will they ever go away or is this something I just have to learn to manage? I have been in therapy...   How do you validate yourself when you have high functioning depression? Being able to do things makes me feel as though I'm crazy, I feel bad internally but externally I am still able to do things and do them well even. I'm in counseling and I find it difficult to portray my depressive symptoms...    I am glad to see you are trying new things for the podcast. This time seems like it would work better for me. I know you strongly discourage it but is it possible to work through mild suicidal thoughts on your own? If you do not feel comfortable telling anyone or your therapist about it?    I went to a mental health training and we learned what to do if someone is suicidal. We ask 3 questions. 1. Do you have a specific way of doing it? 2. Do you have a specific date? 3. Do you have the means prepared to do it? This hit me hard because I can answer yes to... ------ Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast - Episode 108    Your Questions:  Hope you are doing well. I know that a lot of therapists see a therapist themselves. What I talk about with my therapist is supposed to be between us. Would the therapist be allowed to discuss any of our...    What's the most challenging thing for you about being a therapist? (COMMENT: As an addon. What do you think of patients that ask many questions? I’m a naturally curious person. For as long as I can remember, I...   I find it difficult to go back to therapy after my old therapist left giving a 2 week notice. The thought of going back to therapy gets me feeling angry and I'm worried I might get a bit passive aggressive and push my...   My question involves sexuality. Is there a way to differentiate between being asexual and having experiences/trauma in your past that have negatively impacted your sexual outlook and behavior?    This is a follow up question on an ep where you talked about using masturbation as a way to cope. I was wondering, does it have to be born out of sexual abuse? And what if it's a very young child? I teach a...   Why does it feel like I’m always walking on eggshells? When I was growing up in my house I always felt like I was walking on eggshells because my parents were always mentally abusive, but now that I’ve moved...   When dealing with past trauma you have mentioned that talk therapy isn’t always enough, especially if someone finds it hard to talk about. With other therapies like emdr or somatic therapy when you remove the trauma from the body does that...   Is there an opposite of dissociation? Can you be too self-aware? Dissociation comes up quite frequently in AKA questions and after listening to your videos and reading about it I’m not sure that I ever experienced it...   ----- Kati's Books Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Online Therapy | While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon | Do you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Business Contact | Linnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com