Ask Kati Anything

Ask Kati Anything ep. 133 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT  This week Kati discusses why we may want to stay in therapy forever, and how to know if that’s unhealthy or not. She also explains some of the reasons we may be repulsed by ourselves, why we might hate hugs, and the effects diet culture has on those with EDs. She explains sandtray therapy, how DBT works, and how to grieve things lost in our lives. Finally, she describes the effects of medical trauma, what leads to CPTSD, how much support is okay to ask for, and how she decides what level of care her ED patients need. This and so much more on today’s episode!   Audience questions:   1. I can't imagine ever feeling ready to leave my therapist. I like him so much, even though at times it's painful. The thought of never seeing him again is hugely upsetting and I know I'd be... 2. Could you talk a bit more about reasons why we might be repulsed by our own being? You mentioned in episode 128 that we can be so disgusted with ourselves and this can be a trauma response... 3. I've heard people talk about diet culture - specifically, how it's harmful and can lead to disordered eating/EDs - but I've also heard news about the increasing obesity crisis in the U.S. I'm curious... 4. Does there have to be a reason for hating hugs or can it just be related to who we are as a person? Ever since I can remember even as a young child I've hated hugs, this has continued into adulthood... 5. Can you talk more about sandtray therapy? Like when does a therapist decide to use it for adults? Is it suitable as a form of trauma therapy on its own, or is it... 6. My question is about DBT therapy for CPTSD due to sexual abuse.  I am only about 6 weeks into therapy with my new therapist, so I know we are early on in the process.  I had told her that I have not done well with therapy in... 7. I was wondering if you could talk about grief. You have mentioned that you don't have to have someone pass away to experience grief and I was wondering about if you can grieve the loss of an opportunity, or a future you thought... 8. I am wondering if you could have CPTSD due to multiple occurrences with Cancer throughout childhood. I have only heard of cptsd coming out of abuse or sexual trauma, but a lot of the symptoms are true for me. I’ve also had other things happen to me that could be considered trauma... 9. I know that mental illness can warp your perception into wrongly believing that you’re a burden if you reach out for support. But it can also legitimately cause strain for the people being reached out to. How do I tell which one is happening? How much support is... Kati's Books •  Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j  •  Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy While Kati does not currently offer online therapy, her sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon - this podcast is made possible through the generous support of patrons like you.  https://www.patreon.com/katimorton BUSINESS INQUIRIES - Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.132 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   This week Kati address' the effects of trauma on our self esteem, and how that can lead to us hating ourselves. She also talks about how trauma can change the brain, and how we can get better at opening up and accepting help. Kati explains how a trauma timeline works and shows us what one looks like, and offers other ways to get ourselves out of our freeze response. Finally, Kati differentiates between anxiety disorders and PTSD, explains how to deal with therapist abandonment, and how to cope when an abusive parent is sick or dying. This and much more in this week's episode.    Audience questions:  1. Why do I think that I am a bad person, and how do I stop hating myself? Whenever anything remotely bad happens or I "inconvenience" someone the slightest bit (ex. "taking" a doctor's time during my appointment, telling my boss I can't come into work because I am sick, someone giving me a gift, someone holding a door open for me) my brain starts the mantra of...   2. Hi Kati, could you talk about how childhood trauma and ptsd can affect brain structure/function? (COMMENT: Can trauma also result in other mental health disorders like anxiety disorders or eating disorders instead of PTSD? // To add to this, can you talk about how childhood trauma can affect the parents of...   3. I have a really hard time opening up to other people and accepting help. I have worked through old memories and realized I didn't get proper emotional care as a child. I was mostly ignored and left alone with all emotional struggles i faced growing up. As a result I now don't feel worthy to be considered with my emotions. Today i am in a way better spot in life. I have two...   4. I was at your inner child workshop and it was very helpful. I want to create a trauma timeline like you suggested, but I am wondering if you happen to have any visuals for what a trauma timeline could look like? I’m a visual learner and I’m having trouble figuring out how to...    5. How to get out of a freeze response if grounding techniques don’t work? I’ve been sexually abused as a child & S. assaulted once as a teenager and that's when it started. I want to process what I’ve been through but it’s hard since I’m still stuck in that freeze response and don’t...   6. How can you tell the difference between an anxiety disorder, and something like CPTSD? What symptoms would you look out for to differentiate the two? I definitely have social anxiety and have had this since childhood, but I’ve also experienced childhood trauma...   7. I was abandoned by my therapist back in November. Everything had seemed good, I had been with her for a year and a half. I went into crisis and hospitalized myself, at which point she completely cut off contact. I have struggled ever since, I have tried working with 7 different therapists in the past 9 months or so...   8. How do you deal with a sick or dying abusive parent? I started grieving a few years ago when I realized my father won’t change, he said “he was always like this and he is too old to change”, but seeing him sick now make me sad and at the same time I feel relief... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.131 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT This week Kati talks about how we can move forward if we were abusive to our siblings when we were younger. She also explains why we can fantasize about going missing or wanting to run away from our lives, and why it’s common to have pretend conversations with ourselves and feel like they are real. Kati also shares the best time to journal, how to deal with a push pull urge in therapy, and how to move past denial. She also explains why we can feel the urge to invalidate our little t traumas, how to finally get to the root of our issues, and finally what we can do if it feels like nothing is helping. Audience questions: 1. There are a lot of questions asked by people who were abused by their siblings when they were younger, but what if I was the abuser? It’s been over 15 years since but I was put in charge of watching my special needs little sister (only 16 months apart) a lot of the time and I used violence... 2. For years I’ve had this fantasy of “going missing,” or disappearing intentionally – just getting in my car, driving a thousand miles, leaving it in some parking lot and then just walking away. Over time I learned that this is not actually illegal, as long as you’re an adult and you’re not evading the... 3. This is kind of embarrassing to ask, but surely I’m not the only one who does this. Why do I pretend I’m having conversations with people who aren’t really there? It’s as if I’m actually having a back and forth conversation with another person, but in reality I guess I’m just talking to myself? 4. Why do I have such a strong push pull relationship with therapy? I have seen seven different therapists in the past two years and couldn’t connect with any of them. It’s like the first couple of sessions I want to tell them everything and then on the third and fourth sessions I don’t want to... 5. Regarding journaling, is it more used to just write things down in the moment or is there value in going back and re-reading it at some point? I’ve been journaling pretty regularly for the past year and want to go back through and read it but I’m finding that I’m very hesitant to do so… 6. Is it possible to know you're in denial and yet you still don't want to believe the truth? I am trying to come to terms with being emotionally neglected by my parents but the part I'm struggling with is the acceptance that it happened. I know it sounds like a contradiction because I can name the... 7. How do I stop invalidating my little T traumas as you call them? I had a lot of things happen to me over my lifetime that I would consider smaller traumas if anything. For example, my father was quite abusive, but he left when I was still very young and we didn't see him often. My mother was/is an addict, but she still took care of us quite well... 8. How do I get to the root of my issues? I feel like I'm so caught up in running away by using maladaptive coping strategies (anorexia, over-exercise, suicidality etc) that I don't even know what I'm trying to cope with. I do know that there‘s more emotional pain when I reduce my disordered behaviors... 9. One of your answers prompted me to ask a question. I'm struggling with feeling like I've tried everything and feeling like I have no choice left but to end things. I have been inpatient multiple times, have done multiple IOPs/partials. I have tried so many meds... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about binge eating disorder (BED). She discusses the link between BED and childhood trauma, why there’s a connection between a mother’s love and our relationship with food, and the difference between BED and appetite changes associated with other mental illnesses. She also explains why forgetting to eat is not the same as an eating disorder, how we can reduce cravings, and how to get over any guilt associated with a binge. She also shares why parentification can make it hard for us to want to be an adult, why binge eating, food addiction, and overeating are the same thing, and whether or not medications for BED are actually helpful. This and much more in this week’s podcast! Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist, each week she answers mental health questions from her audience.    Ask Kati Anything ep. 130 | Your mental health podcast, with Licensed Therapist,  Kati Morton   Audience questions:  1. I would like to know more about the connection between (B)ED and childhood trauma, because it seems that that topic isn't talked about enough. Why do we choose to cope with food rather than anything else and is there really a connection between mother's love and our relationship with food throughout our lives?   2. Can you explain the difference(s) between a binge eating disorder and the appetite changes associated with anxiety and depression? Sometimes I skip meals due to my anxiety, either because I get stuck in my head and forget that I need food or I feel too nauseous to eat, but then it usually results in a binge eating session afterwards because I’ve essentially starved myself. I know...   3. I have a question about eating disorders, but not related to body image or calories or anything. It’s more just… disordered eating? I forget to eat a meal, and then my OCD says it’s too late for whatever meal, so then I have to wait for the next meal time. Except this happens every single day. I’m not sure if this counts as an eating disorder? It’s very confusing for me. I want to eat the right amounts per day, I just can’t for some reason...   4. How does one reduce cravings? Also, can one embark on their own treatment for binge eating, as opposed to seeking professional help? If so, where does one start?   5. What is the difference between binge eating and just over eating? I’m pretty sure I struggle with binge eating but my psychiatrist has asked me if I’m binging or just over eating and honestly I don't really know how to tell the difference. Thanks for everything you do.   6. This might not be related to this week's theme but I hope you consider answering it! I feel like I just woke up now and realized that I’ve wasted my childhood/ teenage years by not being a child or a teenager. Now, I’ve reached to the point where I don’t want to grow up and ‘time’ scares me...   7. Hi Kati, I struggle with binge eating. My psychiatrist has recommended a drug that is used for opioid addiction that should take away the pleasure I get from eating. What other options do I have?   8. What is the difference between a binge eating disorder and a food addiction? I feel like sugar is my kryptonite. Also I am picky, lactose intolerant and acidic foods aggravate an overactive bladder condition. So I feel like I can't easily avoid sugar. I suspect I have a binge eating disorder and that it...   9. How can I deal with the guilt that I experience after a binge? I used to purge, (I don’t anymore) and that was usually my unhealthy way of getting rid of the guilt I felt from eating too much. but now when I binge, I’m left feeling terrible and it makes me want to self-harm. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast delves into the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder, discussing its origins, signs, and the challenges individuals with NPD face. It also explores tips for managing mental health while moving back in with family, setting boundaries, and overcoming toxic family dynamics. The discussion highlights the importance of seeking therapy, processing trauma, and navigating relationships with narcissists and sociopaths.

This week Kati talks about the ripple effects of being a parentified child, and how that can leave us wanting to not become an adult. She also addresses recovery after a suicide attempt, major life decisions and our mental health, and whether or not we can trust repressed trauma memories. She also explains dissociation, processing trauma when therapy was what traumatized us, and touch aversion in autism and relationships. Finally, Kati discusses whether or not attachment and intimacy issues can be self inflicted, how to get out of a marital rut, and whether or not mental illness is a choice. Hopefully some of her insights and thoughts on these issues are helpful in your own life journey! Ask Kati Anything ep. 128 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. How do adults who suffered childhood emotional neglect, abuse and parentification deal with being an adult, taking responsibility and being self-reliant, things that are potentially triggering and throw you back into childhood patterns? It feels like taking responsibility and being self-reliant was... 2. Could you talk about recovery after a suicide attempt please? Even if you are glad you survived, all the factors in your life that caused you to get to that point still exist so how is it possible to get better? Especially since it seems impossible to tell anyone about what happened... 3. I am wondering how do you make major life decisions that impact your future while you’re struggling to take care of your mental health in the present? For my specific example, how do I know if staying in university is worth my rapidly declining mental health? I have been taking my... 4. I hope your day is going great. My question is about repressed trauma memories. How can we tell if they are real or not? For context, I have a very strong imagination and tend to imagine myself in bad situations, or make up scenarios where bad things happened to me as a... 5. I want to ask about dissociation during sexual assault! I was sexually assaulted by my brother years ago. He was 1 year younger than me.. I was sleeping and had a freeze response (I was 15) and didn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t even know that I know:), he didn’t do it again, but he... 6. I am autistic and sometimes worry about how my sensitivity to touch could potentially affect future intimate relationships. I have never dated anyone and question if it’s okay to engage in intimate acts despite not really desiring sex just to please your partner. Are there any damaging... 7. Can attachment/intimacy issues be unintentionally self-inflicted? Why or why not, and what would the healing process be? My parents are great and I feel genuinely blessed to have them, but I get angry when they offer any kind affection, attention or show concern for me in any way. This... 8. I feel like I’m in such a rut with my husband. I’m by no means a short tempered person, but lately my fuse is nonexistent. We’ve been financially secure until recently when the prices of everything skyrocketed. We no longer have funds to do things or go places... 9. How do I begin to heal from a trauma when it was therapy itself that was traumatizing? In January, after an involuntarily hospitalization that shouldn't have happened (was never suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic) I was given a BPD diagnosis (despite having no history of active suicidality, self harm, or anger issues, due to CPTSD not being in the DSM) and "dumped" by... 10. Where is the line between mental illness and choice? We can't choose what happens to us, but we are reminded over and over that we can choose how we respond to what happens to us, that we can choose our attitude and choose our behaviors. If this is true, then isn't my "mental illness"... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about processing trauma in an unsafe environment, how she navigates therapy when a patient can’t talk or stay present in session, and how trauma can manifest in the body. She also discusses attachment issues, when a mental illness becomes a disability, and why some symptoms seem to lessen when others get worse. Finally, she talks about eating disorder development, relapses in ED recovery, who deserves therapy, and how to get over a breakup. Tangents and tools galore in this week’s episode!    Ask Kati Anything ep. 127 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   Audience questions:   1. I know it's impossible to process trauma while still in an unsafe environment (i.e. still living at home, bullying at work, people dying just to name a few) and my therapist decided to put a pause on any processing type work. She said she wants to stabilize me for the next couple of years...   2. Do you have any therapist strategies on how you would navigate a patient that struggles to speak in sessions? I struggle making eye contact and speaking with my T on triggering topics - generally I shut-down/dissociate. I tend to write in session, which has been...   3. Is it possible that trauma manifests in the body? I was physically and sexually attacked by a guy while i was running and since then my legs go numb when I go for a run (which is very unfortunate, as running is my preferred coping mechanism for depression). I've been to several...   4. I tend to attach to older females in my life, including my therapist, but I have a mom who is very supportive and loving. We have a good relationship, but I never really open up to her about anything that I’m going through. not because she doesn’t want me to- I just don’t feel...   5. When is ptsd/mental illness considered disabling? Is there a set of qualifications that therapists use to determine that or is it very case specific? (COMMENT: As an add on: Are there some mental illnesses that are considered disabilities and others that aren't? I have been told that my ptsd is...   6. I have noticed that as soon as I get one symptom under control, other symptoms get stronger. For example, one of my symptoms is that I generally have trouble keeping my apartment tidy because my depression tells me that I don't deserve a nice apartment. In the last week...   7. Is it possible to knowingly develop a restrictive eating disorder in a week? I have had body image issues off/on my whole life (I’m 27), but always told myself that I “don’t have enough willpower” to develop an ED. I recently told my therapist that I unintentionally hadn’t eaten very much that...   8. How do I recover for myself, instead of for others? I thought that I had realized that I cannot recover for anyone except myself, but when my therapist went on vacation for two weeks (during a time when I have been going through immense transitions, including a new job, an apartment move, mom being in the hospital, etc.) I found that my ED (which had been sort of 'in remission') came back full force...   9. Hi Kati! I really enjoy your podcasts and your approach to explaining issues. I'm a (relatively) healthy 62 yo divorced man, with dead parents and grown children. I still work full time, but personally my friend pool has diminished considerably, and I spend a lot of time alone...   10. How can I move on and stop obsessing over someone who dumped me? While we were dating everything felt so nice and mutual till slowly he became distant and then ended things. I loved his personality and our connection felt... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.126 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   Synopsis:   In this week’s episode Kati discusses why we can feel emotions in our body but not recognize them in our mind. She also talks about how to be our real selves when in therapy, what unconditional positive regard is, and how much self-disclosure we should expect from our therapist. She digs into passive suicidality and how to tell our therapist about it, and whether or not she thinks it’s part of having an eating disorder. She explains why we may act childlike in therapy and why it may be hard to let ourselves be happy. Finally, she shares her biggest learning in her own therapy, and what we can do to stop our ED from turning into a different one.    AUDIENCE QUESTIONS  1. Why is it that my body reacts in a way as if I am feeling a certain emotion, but my brain doesn’t necessarily “feel” the emotion? My body will physically react as if there is a certain emotion, but I don’t really “feel” the emotion...   2. How do I allow myself to “be real” in therapy? Whenever I walk in, I have a hard time sharing how I'm feeling and I immediately forget what has been on my mind / what has happened that week. I also constantly think I am making up my problems, am being too dramatic, or her other patients...   3. Just thought it would be a different experience to ask you a question about yourself as you always kindly offer so much help and advice to us. My question is I know you've mentioned before about you accessing therapy yourself in the past. I wondered what you have learnt most about yourself from therapy?    4. I have questions about passive suicidality. I believe that’s what this is called but not fully sure and what really do you do to deal with it? I was at a point a long time ago that I was done and ready to leave but ended up finding out I was pregnant and from that point forward it wasn’t an option...   5. Why can't I allow myself to be happy? I want to enjoy life, but enjoying it feels wrong? It's not necessarily that I feel like I don't deserve to be happy, but I just can't let myself live the life I want to live, and I constantly sabotage my happiness.   6. I hope you’re doing well and I hope that my question makes sense. I have been going to therapy for about 5 months now and have finally slowly managed to be able to get to a point where I can feel more relaxed and able to begin to process my traumas (CSA, emotional neglect, Physical abuse to name a few) without...   7. Is it normal to feel more child-like in therapy? And do therapists encourage this? I don't see my therapist as a caregiver (I'm still not 100% comfortable with my therapist yet) but each time I'm in therapy, I feel myself kind of "switch". And I stop functioning as an adult. Instead I watch myself do...   8. My question is how much self-disclosure from a therapist is normal? My therapist talks sometimes in detail sometimes not about her own life in just about every session, she's talked about her trauma's, abusive people in her life she cut out and about stuff that's stressing her out like...   9. How can one best ensure that while recovering from one ED, one doesn’t slip into another? (Example from Anorexia to BED or bulimia) (COMMENT: And could you talk about being at a higher normal weight or being overweight in the context of EDs? I feel like it is not often talked about and getting the diagnosis kind of triggered me because I thought that I was not ill enough to... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about addiction and why it’s a coping skill for past trauma, as well as how we can stop laughing off or minimizing our traumatic experiences. She also offers healthy coping skills we can use when we are dysregulated and exhausted, and explains the differences between emotional incest and being a parentified child. She discusses why it could be hard for us to disagree with our therapist, why our emotions are important, how to figure out our next steps in life, and why physical punishment from a parent is considered abuse. *****    My LIVE Inner Child Workshop: https://katimorton.com/the-shop/p/live-innerchild-workshop Join me for a 2-part, livestreaming event that includes worksheets and audience Q&A sessions.  Aug 12th and 19th 2-4pm EST / 11-1pm PST See you there! ***** Audience questions:   Could you talk about addiction as a coping skill for trauma please? I was abused as a kid and teenager and have struggled with addictions since I was 14 years old. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media, exercise and eating disorders (I know, they aren't addictions but for me they are similar coping skills)....  I’m wondering what is the best thing to do when you are dysregulated but too tired to use healthy coping skills.  I find that in order to use them I have to have a lot of mental energy and sometimes I’m just too worn out to do the “right” thing. Lots of love from Italy  I hope you’re doing well. How do I teach myself to stop laughing off my traumas in therapy? I have a habit of smiling, laughing, and joking about difficult things I’ve experienced, and I feel like sometimes I don’t let my therapist know how much I’m really struggling and falling apart...   I notice that it’s super hard for me to disagree with my therapist. Often when he says stuff I disagree with, I only notice it after the session. I always feel the need to agree to whatever he says, as he’s older and more experienced because of his age and profession. I don’t usually...   Could you explain what the difference is between emotional incest and parentification? (there is a lot of overlap.. But emotional incest has to do with them sharing things with you about themselves or what they are going through. And parentification is when...   I was wondering if you could talk about the reasons why emotions are important? I started therapy last year and my therapist talked about distress tolerance and we were working on building up coping skills but one thing we did was try and realize why the emotions we have...   I was just wondering how you figure out what next step in your life is right for you? I find it difficult to decide where I want to go, what I should be doing, what is right for me alongside the guilt of what if I make the wrong decision. For context if it's relevant I'm currently ...   Do you think physical punishment can be traumatic? I‘m wondering because it seems to affect me in my fear of men, hypervigilance and always walking on eggshells. The “punishment“ wasn't always related to what we had done, but rather to his stress/ anger levels. He‘d get out of control, scream, threaten, spank and sometimes kick us.... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.124 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT  In this week’s episode Kati discusses whether our eating disorder voice ever goes away completely, the different levels of ED treatment, and how intuitive eating works. She also addresses child on child sexual abuse and how to heal when the perpetrator was the same age as the victim, and talks about accepting a new diagnosis. Kati also explains how trauma treatment works if we can’t remember much (or any) of our trauma, and if you can do EMDR incorrectly, and what an appointment with a psychiatrist looks like. Hope it’s helpful!    Audience questions:  In your experience, do your clients’ “eating disorder voice” ever completely go away? For context, I used to have anorexia but am now weight restored. Although I consider myself much happier in a healthy body (more energy, better sleep, etc.), I still find myself occupied with disordered thoughts...   Can you talk about child sexual abuse when both the victim and abuser are the same age? I just started therapy after being diagnosed with a number of issues - OCD (since early childhood), depression, chronic anxiety (that gets worse around people), fearful avoidant attachment and fear...   My therapist diagnosed me with depression but I'm struggling to accept it. I know I probably have an anxiety disorder, and possibly a personality disorder or even something like ADHD, but when all she ever lands on is "depression" it offends me. My pain is valid; situations in my past led up to me...   What are possible therapy options for those of us who can't remember our trauma? Are there ways to support the recovery of memories? I can't remember my first twenty years of life and to be honest and truthful I can't imagine being able to heal completely if I don't know what happened in...   I am curious about the treatment and levels of care with EDs. What are the different levels of care, and at what point is each level necessary? What does treatment look like for each one? Thank you!    I feel like I am doing EMDR wrong. I have been in therapy for over two years, ever since discovering that my husband was having a year-long affair with my best friend. (He’s now my ex-husband, by the way, and I realize that my friend was never actually a friend). I’ve been working on...   You’ve talked about eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. But how do you really know when you’re hungry and when you’re full? I’ve tried this, and I think when I’m in a restrictive mindset I’ll lie to myself and say I’m not hungry when I actually am, and when I’m in a binging mindset...   I've been referred to a psychiatrist and I don't really know what to expect. I'm quite nervous as the assessor who referred me said they think maybe autism, which I just didn't see coming. Now I feel conscious about acting a certain way to confirm or reject this. I've been struggling more since...      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices