125 - Ask Kati Anything with Kati Morton, LMFT

This week Kati talks about addiction and why it’s a coping skill for past trauma, as well as how we can stop laughing off or minimizing our traumatic experiences. She also offers healthy coping skills we can use when we are dysregulated and exhausted, and explains the differences between emotional incest and being a parentified child. She discusses why it could be hard for us to disagree with our therapist, why our emotions are important, how to figure out our next steps in life, and why physical punishment from a parent is considered abuse.

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My LIVE Inner Child Workshop: https://katimorton.com/the-shop/p/live-innerchild-workshop

• Join me for a 2-part, livestreaming event that includes worksheets and audience Q&A sessions. 
• Aug 12th and 19th 2-4pm EST / 11-1pm PST See you there!

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Audience questions:  

1. Could you talk about addiction as a coping skill for trauma please? I was abused as a kid and teenager and have struggled with addictions since I was 14 years old. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media, exercise and eating disorders (I know, they aren't addictions but for me they are similar coping skills).... 
2. I’m wondering what is the best thing to do when you are dysregulated but too tired to use healthy coping skills.  I find that in order to use them I have to have a lot of mental energy and sometimes I’m just too worn out to do the “right” thing. Lots of love from Italy 
3. I hope you’re doing well. How do I teach myself to stop laughing off my traumas in therapy? I have a habit of smiling, laughing, and joking about difficult things I’ve experienced, and I feel like sometimes I don’t let my therapist know how much I’m really struggling and falling apart...  
4. I notice that it’s super hard for me to disagree with my therapist. Often when he says stuff I disagree with, I only notice it after the session. I always feel the need to agree to whatever he says, as he’s older and more experienced because of his age and profession. I don’t usually...  
5. Could you explain what the difference is between emotional incest and parentification? (there is a lot of overlap.. But emotional incest has to do with them sharing things with you about themselves or what they are going through. And parentification is when...  
6. I was wondering if you could talk about the reasons why emotions are important? I started therapy last year and my therapist talked about distress tolerance and we were working on building up coping skills but one thing we did was try and realize why the emotions we have...  
7. I was just wondering how you figure out what next step in your life is right for you? I find it difficult to decide where I want to go, what I should be doing, what is right for me alongside the guilt of what if I make the wrong decision. For context if it's relevant I'm currently ...  
8. Do you think physical punishment can be traumatic? I‘m wondering because it seems to affect me in my fear of men, hypervigilance and always walking on eggshells. The “punishment“ wasn't always related to what we had done, but rather to his stress/ anger levels. He‘d get out of control, scream, threaten, spank and sometimes kick us....

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