"What if I abused my sibling?" | ep.131

Ask Kati Anything ep.131 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

This week Kati talks about how we can move forward if we were abusive to our siblings when we were younger. She also explains why we can fantasize about going missing or wanting to run away from our lives, and why it’s common to have pretend conversations with ourselves and feel like they are real. Kati also shares the best time to journal, how to deal with a push pull urge in therapy, and how to move past denial. She also explains why we can feel the urge to invalidate our little t traumas, how to finally get to the root of our issues, and finally what we can do if it feels like nothing is helping.

Audience questions:

1. There are a lot of questions asked by people who were abused by their siblings when they were younger, but what if I was the abuser? It’s been over 15 years since but I was put in charge of watching my special needs little sister (only 16 months apart) a lot of the time and I used violence...

2. For years I’ve had this fantasy of “going missing,” or disappearing intentionally – just getting in my car, driving a thousand miles, leaving it in some parking lot and then just walking away. Over time I learned that this is not actually illegal, as long as you’re an adult and you’re not evading the...

3. This is kind of embarrassing to ask, but surely I’m not the only one who does this. Why do I pretend I’m having conversations with people who aren’t really there? It’s as if I’m actually having a back and forth conversation with another person, but in reality I guess I’m just talking to myself?

4. Why do I have such a strong push pull relationship with therapy? I have seen seven different therapists in the past two years and couldn’t connect with any of them. It’s like the first couple of sessions I want to tell them everything and then on the third and fourth sessions I don’t want to...

5. Regarding journaling, is it more used to just write things down in the moment or is there value in going back and re-reading it at some point? I’ve been journaling pretty regularly for the past year and want to go back through and read it but I’m finding that I’m very hesitant to do so…

6. Is it possible to know you're in denial and yet you still don't want to believe the truth? I am trying to come to terms with being emotionally neglected by my parents but the part I'm struggling with is the acceptance that it happened. I know it sounds like a contradiction because I can name the...

7. How do I stop invalidating my little T traumas as you call them? I had a lot of things happen to me over my lifetime that I would consider smaller traumas if anything. For example, my father was quite abusive, but he left when I was still very young and we didn't see him often. My mother was/is an addict, but she still took care of us quite well...

8. How do I get to the root of my issues? I feel like I'm so caught up in running away by using maladaptive coping strategies (anorexia, over-exercise, suicidality etc) that I don't even know what I'm trying to cope with. I do know that there‘s more emotional pain when I reduce my disordered behaviors...

9. One of your answers prompted me to ask a question. I'm struggling with feeling like I've tried everything and feeling like I have no choice left but to end things. I have been inpatient multiple times, have done multiple IOPs/partials. I have tried so many meds...

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