Ask Kati Anything

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kati Morton tackles the core question: Why Do I Feel So Behind? when it seems Everyone Else Seems to Have It Together. We dive deep into the psychological struggles of comparison, isolation, and overcoming trauma.We also address the debilitating internal experience: Are You Experiencing Complex PTSD? and provide clarity on What to Do When Your Brain Relates Everything to Trauma. Finally, we cover motivation loss, asking: Do You Have Anhedonia? and share strategies for Finding Motivation When Everything Feels Boring.‌ Don't forget to Like and Subscribe for more Ask Kati Anything episodes every week! Shopping with our sponsors helps support the show and allows us to continue bringing you these important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • MasterClass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to http://MASTERCLASS.com/KATI for the current offer. • Go to Remi (Custom Night Guards & Dental Solutions) http://shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI at checkout for 55% off a new night guard plus a FREE foam gift that whitens your teeth and cleans your night guard. • Visit https://on.auraframes.com/KATI for an exclusive $45-off Carver Mat - Use promo code KATI at checkout Audience questions & timestamps: 0:00:39 (Q1) Dealing with Friendship Envy. Kati reframes friendship envy as an indicator of what you truly want in life. 0:06:59 (Q2) Recovering from Burnout. The Effort vs. Reward Strategy The key to recovery is assessing where your time and energy go, and then placing boundaries in areas where... My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQIf you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. 0:14:12 (Q3) Moving On After Divorce. Rediscovery of Self Divorce is a huge loss, and therapy is a must. The core focus should be on figuring out who you are again through journaling (like The Artist's Way) and taking solo dates. 0:23:48 (Q4) Ego Death & Transformation. Ego vs. Connection Ego is a protective defense mechanism that, when overactive, can cause resistance, sabotage progress, and impede true connection. 0:30:10 (Q5) Why Everything is a Trigger (Complex PTSD) The listener is triggered by everyday items (like Vaseline) and experiences dissociation due to past sexual abuse by their mother. Kati emphasizes the brain is trying to protect the listener. 0:40:29 (Q6) In Crisis But Don’t Want to 'Bug' Therapist. It's common for crisis feelings and body memories to intensify at night due to fewer distractions. Advice includes using crisis lines (988, 741741) 0:45:34 (Q7) Loss of Motivation (Approaching 70) Anhedonia and Behavioral Activation Lacking enthusiasm (anhedonia) and motivation is a common sign of depression in older adults, often linked to loss of purpose and isolation. 0:50:29 (Q8) Finding the Right Dose The feeling of being "numbed out" or lacking motivation on an SSRI is often due to blunted affect from a dose that is too high, or the wrong medication entirely. Ask Kati Anything ep. 290 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this deeply honest episode of Ask Kati Anything, guest Jared Craft shares valuable insights into overcoming his ego, financial fears, and the lifelong work of surrendering control. Jared opens up about his journey through addiction and recovery - He details how growing up closeted in a conservative town fostered a deep-seated need for external validation and people-pleasing. He discusses his corporate career at Google and YouTube and the subsequent struggles with exercise addiction and substance abuse, which ultimately led to a dramatic family intervention. This is essential listening for anyone seeking to understand the true gift of recovery and how to finally let go of control for personal and professional growth. Shopping with our sponsors helps support the show and allows us to continue bringing you important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • Fabletics • https://www.fabletics.com/Kati 80% OFF everything for new VIP members • OneSkin • http://oneskin.co/ use the code KATI for 15% OFF • Crowd Health • http://joincrowdhealth.com/ use the code ASKKATI to get your first three months for just $99 • Remi • https://shopremi.com/kati use the code KATI for 55% OFF plus a FREE gift! TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Introduction: Jared Craft 01:42 - Living for external validation in his 20s 02:20 - Growing up closeted in a conservative Minnesota town 03:36 - The early desire for external success and people-pleasing 04:44 - The unexpected process of coming out 07:06 - Moving to LA and the start of deeper addiction struggles 10:29 - The Lance Bass photos 11:09 - The conversation with his sister and parents about his sexuality 18:37 - The Intervention that forced him into his first rehab stint at 24 20:09 - The misconception about what recovery was 23:40 - Sobriety, relapse, and the key difference the second time around My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. 26:46 - What is an Inventory? (Self-check for resentment, fear, and harm) 29:29 - The deep-rooted fear of financial trauma and scarcity 32:39 - The Set Aside Prayer for walking into conflict or anxiety 33:58 - Getting over prejudices about the word 'God' and finding a Higher Power 40:32 - The 'Whack-a-Mole' nature of control and addiction 41:49 - Advice for someone who is Day One Sober 42:53 - The Gifts of Recovery 44:48 - How fear of losing clients resulted in poor boundaries 48:03 - Intimate relationships as the current area for growth 51:37 - Jared's next steps: Overcoming the fear of change Ask Kati Anything ep. 289 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Jared is on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@jcraft MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL www.youtube.com/@Katimorton MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Dark Side of Inclusivity: OG YouTuber Arielle Scarcella joins us to discuss the toxic political shift and intolerance of difference of thought in the LGBTQ+ community. Arielle opens up about being canceled 5 times and why she's labeled transphobic for applying common sense. We cover everything from voting for Trump and Gen Z's emotional regulation to how she deals with hate and intolerance. My new book, Why Do I Keep Doing This? comes out on December 9th & you can PRE-ORDER here: https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. ** Shopping with our sponsors helps support the show and allows us to continue bringing you these important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • 15% OFF at OneSkin http://ONESKIN.CO/KATI use code: KATI • 30% OFF at Blissy http://blissy.com/askkatipod Timestamps: 1:31 - Arielle's YouTube Start in 2009: After an abusive relationship 3:37 - Why she started: There was no LGB education online 5:25 - Opinion on trans women in sports 6:44 - First video title: "Lesbian Cougar" 9:24 - Being Canceled 5 Times 12:48 - The Left Left Me: Staying a classic liberal 14:42 - Drag shows for children are creepy and hurt the gay community 15:39 - Dating pool is horrible: Everyone is non-binary 17:34 - Wearing a Rainbow MAGA hat at Pride 18:17 - The most hateful people interviewed were white (White Guilt) 18:59 - People of color listened because they "know what it's like not being heard" 19:46 - Gen Z lacks socialization and social development skills 20:51 - We need debate classes to learn how to disagree and still get along 21:39 - The left loves diversity, except diversity of thought 23:23 - The shift was people publicly ostracizing her for disagreement 30:11 - Confronting haters: They "don't say sh!t" because they lack the social skills 31:18 - Voting for Trump as a lesbian 36:01 - Content is now a moderate/classic liberal view 36:45 - Queer activists converting to Islam 38:59 - Gen Z has lost the plot and doesn't know how to deal with emotions 40:46 - Nostalgia reminds you of "who you are before the world f*cked you up" 42:09 - Street interviews: Confronting haters who "talk sh!t" 43:22 - Today's definition of transphobia: Disagreeing with anything they say 43:57 - You don't need gender dysphoria to be trans in NYC now45:54 - Managing the hate: Knowing who you are makes you manipulation-proof 48:11 - The "Duper’s Delight" Smirk (Smug, powerful, specific to woke activists)‌ 52:02 - They tried to prevent her from entering Australia in 2020‌‌‌ Ask Kati Anything ep. 287 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL http://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Kati navigates the confusing paths of trauma healing, dissociation, and eating disorder recovery. Learn what happens when your coping skills become a dissociative disorder, how to handle medical trauma, the truth about countertransference in therapy, and essential steps for overcoming OCD and self-sabotage. This episode covers recovery setbacks, exercise addiction, feeling lost, and what to do when therapy feels confusing or unsafe. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything and allows us to continue bringing you these important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • Blissy - Get better sleep, hair and skin with Blissy - use code ASKKATIPOD to get an additional 30% off at http://blissy.com/ASKKATIPOD • CrowdHealth - Get your first three months for just $99 CrowdHealth - Healthcare Crowdfunding at http://joincrowdhealth.com/ use code ASKKATI 📚 My new book is available for pre-order! Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. Timestamps 00:41 | Dissociation: Symptom vs. Disorder? When does dissociation as a coping mechanism turn into a diagnosable dissociative disorder (like DPD/DPDR or DID), and how can one bring this up in therapy without sounding "attention seeking"? ‌ 07:58 | Medical Trauma and Abuse: Can suppositories or enemas, administered for painful constipation, be considered traumatizing or abusive, especially when compounded by a history of abuse from a babysitter? ‌ 14:29 | Dissociation While Healing: Struggling with worsening dissociation (mostly DPDR) and existential thoughts after starting to unpack complex PTSD and an eating disorder in therapy. What helps someone feel "real" and grounded again? 19:55 | Countertransference in Therapy: Discussing transference and countertransference, specifically concerning a therapist who shared the patient is "very like her daughter" and seems to be struggling to refer the patient out to an eating disorder specialist. ‌ 30:00 | New OCD Diagnosis & Treatment: Newly diagnosed with OCD after previously being told they didn't have it, and unsure how to fit OCD treatment into their current therapy plan which is focused on suicidal ideation (CBT-S). Also, how to differentiate OCD tendencies from "normal" tendencies. ‌ 38:44 | Anorexia Recovery in an Unhealthy Environment: How to navigate recovery from anorexia nervosa when living in an unhealthy environment that seems to cause recovery setbacks and a "total mind switch." 45:20 | The Cycle of Self-Sabotage: Why self-sabotage is a continuous cycle, why it's so hard to break, and what steps can be taken to change the pattern. ‌ 54:14 | Exercise Addiction & Mood Swings: Struggling with massive mood changes and fatigue, feeling depressed when missing a workout, and considering resting a "waste of time." Seeking insight on a therapist's suggestion of "dopamine addiction." ‌ 01:02:29 | Feeling Life is Pointless: How to stop feeling like one's entire life is pointless, and what strategies can combat these feelings of meaninglessness. 📚 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY 🧠 NEED THERAPY? While I don't offer online therapy, get connected with a licensed therapist through my sponsor BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/kati (Get 10% OFF your first month) 💼 BUSINESS INQUIRIES: Contact Nick Freeman nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Exploring the impact of emotions on healing, the discussion reveals when talking too much can hinder progress. It dives into feelings of meaninglessness and the struggle of navigating forced therapy. Kati addresses the pain of therapist abandonment and emphasizes the importance of finding support. The episode sheds light on the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, offering insights on recognizing and overcoming its effects. Tips on breaking free from self-sabotage and embracing vulnerability round out this enlightening conversation.

Explore the fascinating intersection of menopause and mental health, including its impact on mood and ADHD medication effectiveness. Learn strategies to combat nail biting and perfectionism, as well as the effects of identity shifts in diagnosis. Discover insights on improving communication with partners and the unique challenges women face when diagnosed with ADHD later in life. This episode offers real-world advice and thought-provoking discussions on mental well-being.

Today, Kati sits down with neuroscientist Dr. Ben Rein, to dive into the social connection and the growing loneliness epidemic. Dr. Rein, author of Why Brains Need Friends, explains how your brain is fundamentally wired for interaction, why isolation is a biological stressor, and what you can do to improve your social health. In this must-watch episode, Dr. Rein explains the mechanical changes happening in your brain during isolation and clarifies why the U.S. Surgeon General has declared a loneliness epidemic. You'll learn the surprising truth about isolation and physical health—it can cause stress hormones like cortisol to rise within days and is associated with more adverse health outcomes. Dr. Rein also reveals the science behind why isolation can make people more irritable and even angry, linking it to the body's natural stress response. Kati and Dr. Rein discuss the difference between in-person and digital interactions, noting that less "lifelike" communication strips away vital social cues like eye contact, body language, and even smell, leading to fewer mood benefits. Dr. Rein introduces the concept of a "Social Diet" and social journaling—practical tools to help you identify which interactions energize you ("breath in" relationships) versus those that leave you depleted. The conversation takes fascinating turns into the role of brain chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin in social reward and the development of empathy. Plus, discover the incredible, innate ability of dogs to detect physiological stress signals and the science of how pets help children develop crucial social skills. By shopping with our sponsors, you help support our podcast: Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/50ASKKATI HeadSpace https://www.headspace.com/ASKKATI Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Ben Rein, neuroscientist and author of Why Brains Need Friends. 02:54 - The neuroscience behind loneliness-induced anger and why isolation is treated as a stressor by the body. 05:57 - Debunking the myth: Do introverts benefit from social interaction, and in what dose? 10:48 - The evolutionary reason we are wired for social reward, and the key brain chemicals involved: dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. 15:40 - A discussion on MDMA, serotonin depletion, and the severity of the drug's comedown. 21:11 - The shocking statistics on increasing time spent alone in modern society (36 hours more per month). 28:22 - What is "inter brain synchrony," and can it happen over a text message?. 35:47 - The power of social smells: how tears can reduce aggression and how a mother's scent affects a baby's brain synchrony. 41:51 - Why growing up with dogs helps children develop empathy and fewer conduct problems. 48:53 - The powerful therapeutic properties of oxytocin (anti-inflammatory, neuroprotective) beyond just social connection. Ask Kati Anything ep. 284 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Today's guest is Dr. Ben Rein https://www.youtube.com/@dr.benrein Order Ben's new book Why Brains Need Friends → https://geni.us/WhyBrainsNeedFriends My new book Why Do I Keep Doing This? is available for pre-order! https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you struggling to support a friend's mental health crisis while battling your own? This essential episode of Ask Kati Anything dives deep into setting healthy boundaries in tough friendships, tackling the crucial question of how to protect your peace without guilt. We also explore the often-misunderstood journey of relapse and recovery, the profound search for meaning when life feels empty due to depression, and offer vital insights into eating disorders at different life stages, from early struggles to fears about pregnancy and being a role model. Plus, discover whether day-to-day anxiety truly serves a purpose, how to navigate a forgetful therapist, and the emotional impact of chronic illness and bullying. My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. Episode Timestamps: 00:44 - q1  What to do when supporting a struggling friend begins to trigger your own pain. 08:31 - q2  Could you talk about best practices for staying out of the hospital and about the stigma around relapse and recovery? 17:00 - q3  How can any meaning in life be found when it takes action to find meaning? 21:59 - q4  I'm almost 28 years old and have been struggling with anorexia for six years and eating disorder behaviors for more than half my life. 29:26 - q5  I was wondering if I have an eating disorder. 33:51 - q6  Does day-to-day anxiety actually serve a purpose like other emotions? 38:16 - q7  Can you please talk about therapy and how to handle a forgetful therapist? 42:47 - q8  Could you cover the correlation of chronic illnesses or chronic pain like a leg disability... and mental health issues? Ask Kati Anything ep. 283 |  your weekly mental health podcast hosted by licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton, where she answers your most pressing mental health questions with compassion, expertise, and actionable advice. Support Our Show by Checking Out Our Sponsors We're able to bring you these important conversations thanks to the support of our incredible sponsors. Please take a moment to visit them and learn more about what they offer! BetterHelp - Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/katipod October 10th is World Mental Health Day, and BetterHelp is celebrating the therapists who make healing possible. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Blissy - as a listener, receive your 60 nights risk-free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at https://blissy.com/askkatipod and use code askkatipod MY BOOKS Traumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j   Are u ok?    https://geni.us/sva4iUY  PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman |  nick@biglittlemedia.co DISCLAIMER The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the journey of trauma recovery and emotional processing. Discover effective grounding techniques to break free from a state of functional freeze. Learn about the necessary structure in therapy sessions and the beginning dynamics of eating disorder recovery. Understand the emotional impact of failed suicide attempts and gain insights into distinguishing real versus false memories. Uncover why trauma may lead us to push away loved ones and practical advice to reconnect.

Dr. Judith Joseph, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author of 'High Functioning,' sheds light on high-functioning depression, highlighting its silent struggles. She discusses the flawed medical approach that waits for crisis before diagnosis and emphasizes the importance of a preventative mindset. Dr. Joseph explores the connection between trauma, constant busyness, and the pursuit of joy versus transient happiness. She offers practical tools to reclaim joy and encourages celebrating small moments while recognizing the impact of social validation.