The Angry Therapist Podcast

In Part 1 of this 3-episode series, John Kim and licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman break down attachment trauma in clear, human terms. They unpack emotional neglect, nervous-system dysregulation, the NARM approach (NeuroAffective Relational Model), and why so many of us carry shame that isn’t ours. You’ll learn the core dilemma children face (“stay connected to myself or stay safe in the bond?”), how that shapes adult relationships, and why agency + self-compassion are non-negotiables for healing. What you’ll learn: Attachment trauma vs “big-T” trauma Emotional neglect and why it’s so slippery to see The core dilemma and how shame gets internalized NARM, survival strategies, and nervous-system regulation Why we numb (food, sex, alcohol, scrolling) Agency: choosing with awareness instead of self-shame 🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when therapy becomes personal? In this raw and honest conversation, John Kim talks with licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman about her real-life experience of falling for her therapist — and what it taught her about attachment, shame, and healing. Together they explore the taboo topic of client-therapist attraction, transference and counter-transference, and how therapy can mirror our deepest childhood wounds. 💬 Topics include: Why we develop crushes on therapists (and what it really means) The difference between a crush and being in love How to talk about attraction safely in therapy When boundaries blur and healing turns into heartbreak Why honesty is the path to repair ✨ Connect with Rebecca Prolman: Instagram | TikTok | YouTube: @rebeccaprolman Website: rebeccaprolman.com Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, John dives into some of the most honest, relatable, and raw relationship questions we all face — from managing triggers and attachment styles to knowing when it’s time to let go. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I loving the wrong way?” or “How do I know if this relationship is worth it?” — this one’s for you. It’s not about perfect love — it’s about real, healthy connection. Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special episode, John Kim brings together five brilliant voices - Amy Chan, Terri Cole, Dene Logan, Vanessa Bennett, and Daniel Stewart - for a raw and honest conversation about love, grief, codependency, and what it really means to grow. They unpack: Turning loss into a wake-up call 🌿 The biology of heartbreak and trauma bonds ❤️‍🔥 How to tell if growth is healthy or self-abandonment What a “midlife crisis” is really trying to teach us Redefining partnership, independence, and self-love It’s messy, heartfelt, and deeply human -  a quilt of wisdom and laughter about what it means to be alive and love in 2025. Guests: Amy Chan – Author of “Breakup Bootcamp” @missamychan Terri Cole – Author of “The Boundary Boss” & “Too Much” @terricole Dene Logan – Author of “Sovereign Love” @dene.logan Vanessa Bennett – Author of “The Motherhood Myth” @vanessabennetttherapy Daniel Stewart – Psychotherapist, teacher & musician @minstrelion Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This discussion dives into the transformative power of a growth mindset, illustrated by a real estate adventure in Costa Rica. A 25-year-old agent inspires a fresh perspective on challenges, showcasing how shifting from fear to growth can redefine our lives. The conversation highlights using one’s environment as a therapeutic tool and the significance of embracing risk post-trauma. Plus, John outlines an upcoming retreat focused on play and wellness, emphasizing the practice of moving from a fixed to a growth mindset for true freedom.

There’s a freedom that comes in your 40s that no one warns you about - because it doesn’t come from achievement or success. It comes from shedding. In this episode, John and Vanessa talk about what it really means to stop giving a f*ck - not in the cynical sense, but in the self-loving one.It’s about choosing your energy wisely, letting go of people and stories that no longer fit, and returning to who you were before the world told you to shrink. This is the power of midlife clarity. It’s not burnout - it’s rebirth. In this episode: What “not giving a f*ck” really means (hint: it’s not apathy) How turning 40 rewires your priorities Knowing what’s yours to own - and what’s not The end of proving yourself and chasing validation Returning to your core self The quiet strength of keeping promises to yourself Mentioned in this episode: Vanessa’s Inter Compass Academy - coaching through the lens of depth psychology. Join the next cohort HERE⁠ or learn more about Vanessa HERE Follow Vanessa on Instagram: @vanessaabennett Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when love feels like pressure - when “I’m proud of you” never came? In this honest conversation, John Kim and John Wang, author of Big Asian Energy, talk about growing up with parents who equated love with achievement, and what it takes to finally feel enough on your own terms. In this episode, you’ll hear about: The invisible weight of trying to make your parents proud Why love often sounds like pressure in achievement-driven families The difference between being accepted and truly belonging Healing generational patterns of sacrifice and self-doubt Redefining success to include joy, rest, and self-worth 📘 John Wang’s book, Big Asian Energy, is available HERE and wherever books are sold. 👉 Follow John Wang on Instagram @johnwangofficial John Wang's Website HERE Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Q&A, John Kim answers your raw, unfiltered questions about love, attachment, and what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship. From anxious-avoidant dynamics to retroactive jealousy and emotional unavailability — this one gets real. Whether you’re questioning if love should be easy, wondering why your partner won’t commit, or struggling to let go of the past, this episode dives straight into the messy middle — and ends with clarity, honesty, and hope. Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when your dream wedding hides a truth your body already knows? In this powerful conversation, writer and author Amber Rae opens up to John Kim about walking down the aisle knowing she was marrying the wrong man - and the courage it took to leave, fall in love again, and finally meet herself. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Knowing when you’re in the wrong relationship The fear of leaving when everyone’s watching How unmet childhood wounds shape our choices The difference between safety and true connection Why telling the truth can set everyone free Whether you’re stuck in a “safe” love, afraid to start over, or trying to trust your gut again, this story will remind you that it’s never too late to choose yourself. Amber Rae’s new book Lovable is out now and available HERE Follow Amber at @heyamberrae Visit amberrae.com for more of her work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when the blueprint you’ve been chasing - cars, houses, status - no longer fits who you’ve become? In this powerful episode, John Kim shares how he traded Hollywood dreams for a meaningful life in Costa Rica, and how redefining his blueprint transformed everything. In this conversation, you’ll hear about: Why chasing cars, houses, and status leaves you empty The shift from living “outside-in” to “inside-out” How unconscious definitions shape love, work, and happiness The moment John redefined his blueprint as a parent Steps to rewrite your blueprint and live with meaning This isn’t about rejecting success - it’s about creating new definitions that actually serve who you are today. Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices