Mastermind Parenting Podcast

Welcome to this episode with Christina Furnival, a San Diego based wife, mom to two young children, licensed psychotherapist, writer and children's book author. Christina has over a decade of experience in the mental health field and she's helped countless families work through anxiety, depression, behavior challenges, and big life changes.  Christina uses her personal and professional experience in her articles and books to support adults and children around the world. Christina's passionate about supporting parents and children to understand themselves better navigate challenges with confidence and live the life that they want. And today she is joining me to talk about her latest book, Fear Not: How to Face Your Fear and Anxiety Head On. We’re covering some topics that can be difficult to talk to your kiddos about and how to have these hard conversations. Christina’s books are wonderful conversation starters, and she provides excellent talking points to help guide you along the way. I just love these books and know you would too. Listen in to our chat and learn how to tackle your own anxiety around these conversations and other areas in your parenting life. Plenty of golden nuggets here, so enjoy! As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Christina Furnival Christina is a mom of two, wife, mental health therapist, writer, public speaker, and children's book author. Like every mama, she is constantly juggling all the things. By day, she stay-at-home parents her pretty spectacular and equally exhausting young kids while attempting to work on her social-emotional children’s book series and to write for her blog Real Life Mama and other highly regarded publications. And by night (well, evening, really) via telehealth, Christina is a practicing licensed mental health therapist. And of course she tries to make time for her marriage, and for herself, but it’s not always easy. Even with her background in mental health, Christina is often overcome by how challenging motherhood and life can be. She is a work in progress, and feels the pains that you do, which is why she cares so deeply about supporting others through all the ups and downs they experience. We all can use a hand every now and again. When not working, Christina can be found singing loudly, crafting inconsistently, cooking and baking, exercising, going to the beach (her happy place), and having wild dance parties with her family in the living room. Christina’s Web and Social Links Website: https://christinafurnival.com/ The Capable Kiddos book series: https://christinafurnival.com/books/ About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web and Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources and Links When you need to have a hard conversation with your kids, use the FREE cheat sheet and audio training: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I just celebrated my daughter's 21st birthday. We're out in San Diego because she is doing some internships here and we decided to relocate to California for a while. So, I've been working from here. And I have been with my daughter a lot lately. She goes to school in Santa Barbara and we went back to Santa Barbara last weekend to celebrate her birthday and have a whole special weekend. We had a lot of time on the road together, and over the weekend we were processing what is happening in our country right now. It was interesting to be around her, and she's also moving into a house in Santa Barbara with several other young, smart women. There were a bunch of different birthday things that they did for her this weekend, and we all celebrated together. So, they're all just beside themselves, understandably with this overturn of Roe v. Wade. I think just so many of us are just in shock and disbelief and grief. And in the coaching world, we’re in what we call the goo, which is anytime we're going through an identity shift, meaning we're not who we were before. I learned to look at this identity shift In terms of comparing the human to the butterfly. When the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the caterpillar goes into the chrysalis and then eventually it comes out a totally different animal. And when it goes into the chrysalis, it dissolves, and it becomes like caterpillar soup. And then all the cells within that organism restructure and turn into an entirely new organism. And so the caterpillar becomes a butterfly. And anytime we go through an identity shift, which is, who I was before is not who I am or who I'm becoming, we all kind of become person soup. We become person “goo” for a while, and this happens all throughout our lives. So, with this episode I’m unpacking my thoughts and feelings around this transition, and those of others I’ve been talking to, like my daughter, her friends, parents, and others. This is impacting multiple generations. I understand that many of us are grieving, and sometimes anger is a part of the grieving process. But so often I think people just get stuck there. Let's use the anger to mobilize ourselves. Let's use the anger to strategize. Let's use the anger to step out of the privilege that me and many other people have known, which is our bodies, our business. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web and Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources and Links Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Here is another conversation that I had with one of the moms in my Mastermind Parenting community. I was doing these live sessions, these live report card sessions, where we were just assessing where you were, where you are, where you're going. It's a big part of the process that involves changing behaviors, right? We can't expect our kids to change their behaviors if we're not changing our behaviors. When you have a kid that presents as “strong-willed,” quite often they may just be feeling misunderstood. They also frequently get misdiagnosed. This mom, she's here with me in the mastermind community, she says she's improved in terms of yelling by 90% now. No one ever signs up and says, “I'm a yeller.”  There's so much shame when we yell at our kids and yet we're human. And when you have a child that you don't know how to help do better, quite often, you lose your mind too. And so, then you just have like two people sort of losing their minds and it's just not helpful, right? Like nothing changes.  This mom has gone through our beginning program, basic bootcamp. For those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a while, we do have a group enrolling starting in a couple of couple days from when this episode is originally airing. Listen to this episode and learn how this mom’s parenting skills, and her husband’s, have improved so she no longer labels herself a “yeller!” As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I have a fun conversation for you this week. I have been doing these live report card sessions with some of my current moms, and I had scheduled one with Michelle and Liz. They have been in my program for a long time. They’re just amazing women and we were doing our session as a Facebook live, and there were a few technical difficulties and so whatever it was fine, Michelle and I ended up being live and then Liz was just kind of chiming in and commenting. But then she left us a follow up message. So you do actually get to hear Liz's voice and you want to hear Liz's voice. Talking about parenting, this is something that is one of those taboo subjects most of us have. Because there's something about talking about it that I think can feel disrespectful to your own parents. And then many of us have this worry that when our kids grow up, they're going to come back and blame us for whatever it is that we're doing now. It's just a loaded topic and conversation. And so, Liz and Michelle are moms that were doing all the learning and they were seeing big results in their household. And yet there was still a little bit of guardedness or just being somewhat reserved at times. And so probably six months ago I started these small accountability groups. And I just kind of wanted to have a conversation where we could really just sort of talk about this friendship that has developed between them and how it has impacted them.  I think the common thread that we finally got to is perfectionistic parenting, like wanting to be that perfect parent. Maybe you are the parent who is listening to the parenting podcast and reading the books and trying to use all the tools. And I think about this perfectionistic parenting as a “straight jacket,” right. Because it's just not possible. Striving for this unattainable goal and trying to be perfect is a protective mechanism. And, I learned this from Brené Brown, where she says something like, “Perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination because if you're always waiting for things to be just perfect, if I show up perfect, if I do everything perfect, then nobody can criticize me. Nobody can judge me, nobody can hurt me.”  But it really keeps you isolated and it really keeps you alone. I think a lot of us will resonate with this ideal of being the perfect parent and yeah, I hope you guys get as much from this conversation as I did. We talked about anxiety, we talked about perfectionism. We talked about friendship and accountability, and it was a great conversation. So enjoy Liz and Michelle. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Today I am going to give you a little preview of what we do inside of our Mastermind with what I call a live report card session. Now I explain why it's really important to do these report card type assessments. And what I want to tell you is anytime you're trying to change a behavior, whether it’s in your parenting or exercise and food, there's a real reason why most of us fall off the wagon, because behavior changes hard. One thing I've studied over the years, along with parenting, is how do people actually change their behaviors? How do we sustain new patterns and not fall back into the old destructive ones that aren't serving us? And so if you listen to this podcast episode, I want you to sort of identify what we're doing here, because you can apply this skillset to all the areas in your life that you're trying to change some patterns.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 5 as we wrap up this amazing series! We review the three big topics: Spanking, Time Outs, and Sticker Charts. None of these are ideal strategies for setting boundaries and you’ll learn why. Listen to this episode and you’ll get some tips on what you can do differently. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about the special week of live coaching, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 4 of this strategy-packed series! This might be a little controversial, because so many parents and teachers use sticker charts, but I’m going to explain why they aren’t a good strategy. Using sticker charts inhibits intrinsic motivation and inspires entitlement. Listen in today as I show you why sticker charts should be avoided, and give you some tips on what to do instead.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 3 of this series packed full of great tips! Today we are covering Time Outs. While not as violent and traumatizing as spanking, time outs are still not a desirable approach to setting boundaries with your kids. They can increase lying and rebellion among other things. Listen in as I unpack why you should avoid time outs.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 2 of this powerful series! Today we are covering a huge “NO,” spanking. Listen in to learn why spanking should never be used as a discipline solution, and strategies you can use instead. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 1 of this powerful series! To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting