Mastermind Parenting Podcast

Here is another conversation that I had with one of the moms in my Mastermind Parenting community. I was doing these live sessions, these live report card sessions, where we were just assessing where you were, where you are, where you're going. It's a big part of the process that involves changing behaviors, right? We can't expect our kids to change their behaviors if we're not changing our behaviors. When you have a kid that presents as “strong-willed,” quite often they may just be feeling misunderstood. They also frequently get misdiagnosed. This mom, she's here with me in the mastermind community, she says she's improved in terms of yelling by 90% now. No one ever signs up and says, “I'm a yeller.”  There's so much shame when we yell at our kids and yet we're human. And when you have a child that you don't know how to help do better, quite often, you lose your mind too. And so, then you just have like two people sort of losing their minds and it's just not helpful, right? Like nothing changes.  This mom has gone through our beginning program, basic bootcamp. For those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a while, we do have a group enrolling starting in a couple of couple days from when this episode is originally airing. Listen to this episode and learn how this mom’s parenting skills, and her husband’s, have improved so she no longer labels herself a “yeller!” As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I have a fun conversation for you this week. I have been doing these live report card sessions with some of my current moms, and I had scheduled one with Michelle and Liz. They have been in my program for a long time. They’re just amazing women and we were doing our session as a Facebook live, and there were a few technical difficulties and so whatever it was fine, Michelle and I ended up being live and then Liz was just kind of chiming in and commenting. But then she left us a follow up message. So you do actually get to hear Liz's voice and you want to hear Liz's voice. Talking about parenting, this is something that is one of those taboo subjects most of us have. Because there's something about talking about it that I think can feel disrespectful to your own parents. And then many of us have this worry that when our kids grow up, they're going to come back and blame us for whatever it is that we're doing now. It's just a loaded topic and conversation. And so, Liz and Michelle are moms that were doing all the learning and they were seeing big results in their household. And yet there was still a little bit of guardedness or just being somewhat reserved at times. And so probably six months ago I started these small accountability groups. And I just kind of wanted to have a conversation where we could really just sort of talk about this friendship that has developed between them and how it has impacted them.  I think the common thread that we finally got to is perfectionistic parenting, like wanting to be that perfect parent. Maybe you are the parent who is listening to the parenting podcast and reading the books and trying to use all the tools. And I think about this perfectionistic parenting as a “straight jacket,” right. Because it's just not possible. Striving for this unattainable goal and trying to be perfect is a protective mechanism. And, I learned this from Brené Brown, where she says something like, “Perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination because if you're always waiting for things to be just perfect, if I show up perfect, if I do everything perfect, then nobody can criticize me. Nobody can judge me, nobody can hurt me.”  But it really keeps you isolated and it really keeps you alone. I think a lot of us will resonate with this ideal of being the perfect parent and yeah, I hope you guys get as much from this conversation as I did. We talked about anxiety, we talked about perfectionism. We talked about friendship and accountability, and it was a great conversation. So enjoy Liz and Michelle. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Today I am going to give you a little preview of what we do inside of our Mastermind with what I call a live report card session. Now I explain why it's really important to do these report card type assessments. And what I want to tell you is anytime you're trying to change a behavior, whether it’s in your parenting or exercise and food, there's a real reason why most of us fall off the wagon, because behavior changes hard. One thing I've studied over the years, along with parenting, is how do people actually change their behaviors? How do we sustain new patterns and not fall back into the old destructive ones that aren't serving us? And so if you listen to this podcast episode, I want you to sort of identify what we're doing here, because you can apply this skillset to all the areas in your life that you're trying to change some patterns.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 5 as we wrap up this amazing series! We review the three big topics: Spanking, Time Outs, and Sticker Charts. None of these are ideal strategies for setting boundaries and you’ll learn why. Listen to this episode and you’ll get some tips on what you can do differently. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about the special week of live coaching, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 4 of this strategy-packed series! This might be a little controversial, because so many parents and teachers use sticker charts, but I’m going to explain why they aren’t a good strategy. Using sticker charts inhibits intrinsic motivation and inspires entitlement. Listen in today as I show you why sticker charts should be avoided, and give you some tips on what to do instead.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 3 of this series packed full of great tips! Today we are covering Time Outs. While not as violent and traumatizing as spanking, time outs are still not a desirable approach to setting boundaries with your kids. They can increase lying and rebellion among other things. Listen in as I unpack why you should avoid time outs.  To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 2 of this powerful series! Today we are covering a huge “NO,” spanking. Listen in to learn why spanking should never be used as a discipline solution, and strategies you can use instead. To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Parents, learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts with this 5-part video training series and 3 days of live coaching. Welcome to Part 1 of this powerful series! To sign up for series announcements and coaching updates, and to learn more about this special bonus series, go to:https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits You may be asking yourself, “What should I do when the kids are acting out, fighting, or won’t take “No” for an answer?” You’ve tried time-outs, punishment, and positive or gentle parenting, but it seems like nothing is working. There is constant fighting, anger, and stress in your home You and your co-parent are not on the same page Your child expresses intense anger and defiance Learn how to take back control in a way that empowers you and your kids. We know you want to be a strong, loving leader who is respected at home. If you’re struggling to show up for yourself and your family in this way then you will benefit from this 5-part video training and 3-day live coaching experience. In the video training, we’ll cover common discipline strategies parents use, why they aren’t effective, and what to do instead. Randi is excited to be your personal parenting coach for a week! We hope you gain some new tips/tools/ways of looking at balance and baby steps for creating more boundaries. To continue moving the needle forward in creating a happier household go to MastermindParenting.com and check out Randi’s 3 beginning programs and find the one that’s a good fit for you. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

The last couple of episodes, I've been hitting on some heavy topics. I’ve also been sharing a little bit about my process and that I'm testing some hypotheses right now in preparation for a book I'm writing with my friend Sarah Miller. And I've been picking a lot of moms' brains about just what we're most worried about. One of the biggies that comes up… What do you do if your kid has a diagnosis or a label? Is my child going to be like this forever? Is this just a phase? Is it “normal” for kids to behave this way? I know through my conversations, that this has been part of your world or possibly come across your mind. I know it was part of my parenting experience, and today I’m going to share that story with you. I was noticing something that gave me these thoughts and prompted me to find out more about what was going on. It also led me to a huge insight related to my work, an “a-ha” moment of sorts. Another thing I’ve come to realize through working with Sarah, an insight she’s had through the conversations she’s had with her colleagues. The minute professionals bring up parenting as a possible influence on the behavior, people shut down and 99% of the time you never hear from those people again.  Also, parents often get diagnoses for their kids and it’s common that no one addresses the “now what?” What do I do with this information and what do I do next?  That was my experience too, my revelation of sorts. My son needed professional help, and instead of sitting in the waiting room, I went into the sessions with him. So I could observe, understand how to approach this, and know what to do after we were done with the sessions. To carry it forward to our home, and beyond.  Don’t let a diagnosis get you down. It’s important to get over our own egos and not to worry about other people’s judgment for not knowing all the things. We have to be willing to learn new things. It is the most generous, loving and unselfish thing you can do for your kids. This is the sign of a truly good parent, a parent that puts the needs of their kids before their own insecurities.  It is so hard. So incredibly hard. And I haven’t always done it.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A free 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

I am continuing the conversation from last week, so if you haven't listened to Episode 186, go and check it out. As I mentioned last week, I'm currently doing some research and planning, because I'm writing a book with a pediatrician and fellow Mastermind Mom, Sarah Miller.  We're testing out some different hypotheses. It's going to be a book that is written and sort of conversational between the two of us, looking at the doctor's perspective when we as parents are seeking their advice and their direction when we're worried about our kids. I think parents are asking their doctors things that they don't feel comfortable asking some of the people that are in their life who may have parenting experience. Their family or their close friends, for example. Parenting, I just think it's so obviously personal for so many of us, and is our most important role.  It's hard to feel scrutinized about the thing that you care about the absolute most. So my hypothesis has been that it's so hard to talk about these worries we have, and open up when we're worried about our kids because we just don't want to screw them up. And we're also so worried about other people judging us and we don't want other people to judge our kids. It seems many of us then talk to our doctors about these concerns, that they are a trusted resource who won’t judge us or our children. So, today’s episode is a continuation of these thoughts, along with some stories and examples which I believe many of you may be able to find a connection with, a sense that you’ve felt a similar way. I want this to become more of a mainstream conversation. And if you're feeling like the moms I described in today's episode, I want you to know there is nothing wrong with you, and you're not alone in how you're feeling. And even just identifying that you're feeling that way, makes you a more self-aware person. And since all change starts with awareness, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.  As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Randi’s Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/   Resources Discussed/Links   Learn how to set limits without spanking, time outs, or sticker charts. A 5-part video training series & 3 days of live coaching, sign up today.: https://mastermindparenting.com/settinglimits Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting