190: Perfectionistic Parenting with Mastermind Moms Liz & Michelle

I have a fun conversation for you this week. I have been doing these live report card sessions with some of my current moms, and I had scheduled one with Michelle and Liz. They have been in my program for a long time.

They’re just amazing women and we were doing our session as a Facebook live, and there were a few technical difficulties and so whatever it was fine, Michelle and I ended up being live and then Liz was just kind of chiming in and commenting. But then she left us a follow up message. So you do actually get to hear Liz's voice and you want to hear Liz's voice.

Talking about parenting, this is something that is one of those taboo subjects most of us have. Because there's something about talking about it that I think can feel disrespectful to your own parents. And then many of us have this worry that when our kids grow up, they're going to come back and blame us for whatever it is that we're doing now. It's just a loaded topic and conversation.

And so, Liz and Michelle are moms that were doing all the learning and they were seeing big results in their household. And yet there was still a little bit of guardedness or just being somewhat reserved at times. And so probably six months ago I started these small accountability groups. And I just kind of wanted to have a conversation where we could really just sort of talk about this friendship that has developed between them and how it has impacted them. 

I think the common thread that we finally got to is perfectionistic parenting, like wanting to be that perfect parent. Maybe you are the parent who is listening to the parenting podcast and reading the books and trying to use all the tools. And I think about this perfectionistic parenting as a “straight jacket,” right. Because it's just not possible.

Striving for this unattainable goal and trying to be perfect is a protective mechanism. And, I learned this from Brené Brown, where she says something like, “Perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination because if you're always waiting for things to be just perfect, if I show up perfect, if I do everything perfect, then nobody can criticize me. Nobody can judge me, nobody can hurt me.” 

But it really keeps you isolated and it really keeps you alone. I think a lot of us will resonate with this ideal of being the perfect parent and yeah, I hope you guys get as much from this conversation as I did. We talked about anxiety, we talked about perfectionism. We talked about friendship and accountability, and it was a great conversation. So enjoy Liz and Michelle.

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web/Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

• Join our next 12-week VIP Parenting Program: https://mastermindparenting.com/basics-bootcamp
• Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/
• Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting