Mastermind Parenting Podcast

So, what constitutes a difficult child? I think we need to start with that and that's even a hard thing to say, because nobody wants to call their kid difficult. Right? I get it. We have a kid that's struggling. Our household feels anything but peaceful. We have a dream that we want our kids to be at peace. We want a calm environment. We want that household that maybe we didn’t have but desired when we were growing up. We have all these hopes and dreams. And now you have a child who is “difficult” and you need to figure some things out. So, during today’s episode, I break down what I believe constitutes a difficult child. And then I give you some helpful tips, some strategies to help you find a way to find more peace in your household and manage some challenging behaviors your kiddo may be exhibiting. Like I often do, I unpack a real-life situation, one that may be familiar to you and your family. I stumbled upon this Mastermind Parenting method because I was also experiencing the challenges of a difficult child. It was because I couldn't find the exact right resource. I couldn't find the exact right program. I liked this part from one program, but I liked another part from another program, but I actually sort of liked this part from some “old school” methods that didn't seem aligned with the newer styles. And I realized, I was not someone who likes to follow exact recipes, so I threw together what worked for me and my family, and that’s what I’m sharing with you now. So, if you’re struggling with that difficult child, listen to this episode, and I’ll give you my top three tips for finding a way to a better place. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Free 5-Part Video Series for Parents: Setting Limits without Spanking, Time Outs, or Sticker Charts: https://mastermindparenting.com/spanking-series/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

What do you do when you and your partner disagree on parenting styles and strategies? Unfortunately, this is the case with most of my moms. In this episode I unpack a story that is all too common. It’s a story of a volatile household, “To-Do List Sex,” and constant stress. The mom in this story has stuck with the Mastermind Parenting program and learned new methods of parenting. She stayed in her own lane, kept slogging along, and made mistakes along the way. But she’s done her own work, created change in her mind and her life, and took a stand. She refused to sweep the issues under the rug anymore and stuck to her guns. It wasn’t easy. Her husband is a good guy, deep down. So often, so much of the struggle is a giant miscommunication. Over time, little by little, things have gotten better. She has found ways to change patterns and hold her partner accountable. She’s been able to step into her strength and improve all the relationships in her life. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Communication can be tough! Get the cheat sheet and audio training for my 3-Step recipe for having a productive conversation: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

My guest this week and I chat about how parents can be empowered as experts on their own children. My guest today is Allana Robinson. She and I connect on so many levels and have a great conversation about some new science around parenting and what we’re learning. Allana is a parenting coach, as well as a registered early childhood educator and developmental specialist. We know now that it’s not just triggers and consequences that shape behavior. In fact, the “old school” ABA (Appiled Behavioral Analysis) model completely ignores the functions of the nervous system. It completely ignores how social triggers and how social interaction influences behavior. It completely ignores trauma. It also completely ignores social and emotional learning. Allana and I unpack her experiences and her training, and how newer models like I talk about here on Mastermind Parenting allow kids to process emotional expression. Children live in their emotional brain. And so of course they're going to often be easily overstimulated and lots of things are going to set them off. And they're trying to make sense of the world through these dysregulated moments. Our job is to help them as grounded grownups, help reel them back in and help them learn the skills to reregulate. They're going to make mistakes. We can't be on top of it all the time, but when they make mistakes, it’s important that we show up and help them to learn those new skills. Children learn to regulate by being regulated. Children learn to be empathetic by being empathized with. We have to model what we want them to do in order for them to learn how to do it because they learn by observation. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ About Allana Robinson Allana Robinson is a parenting coach and she's the CEO of Uncommon Sense Parenting as well as a registered early childhood educator, developmental specialist, mom of two and military wife. Allana supports parents of toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergartners in understanding why their children are misbehaving and how to fix it without yelling, shaming or timeout. Allana’s mission is to empower parents as the experts on their own children and create an inclusive world full of calm, competent, confident kids. Website: https://www.allanarobinson.com/ Resources Discussed/Links Mini-Masters Self Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Children. Because parenting is hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard.: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

In this bonus episode, I’m weighing in on the Oscars drama where Will Smith slapped the shit out of Chris Rock. There are so many opinions and different angles being discussed right now and I doubt you’ve heard one like mine. Have a listen and join the conversation on social media to let us know your thoughts!  Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Chances are, if you're listening to this podcast, you have a hunch that you've got a strong-willed child. In today’s episode I wanted to talk about what really constitutes a child being strong-willed. Firstly, isn't every child strong-willed at some point or another? That's what I always say to the people who come to me, that everybody's got a “strong-willed” child.  The truth of the matter is that Mastermind Parenting is really for all humans. It's just that our strong-willed ones are the ones that bring us here because they're not complying with the old school parenting methods that most of us were raised with. And so, we seek resources, and we listen to podcasts, and we read books, and we're looking for the tools and the tips. But how do you know if your kid is a strong-willed kid or just a regular human kid that shows up with some strong-willed behavior because we all sometimes have strong-willed behavior? Strong-willed kids are very determined to do something even if other people say it should not be done. They are the challenging and difficult ones, the “squeaky wheel” of the family. They hijack the household, and it’s the child you walk on eggshells around. This is the child that when they are happy, you feel like you can finally breathe…ahhhhh. I’ll be totally honest, your strong-willed child is the one you love, but you don’t necessarily like. Listen to this episode, and I’ll share with you a very personal story of how my own strong-willed child impacted our family. I’ll also go through some questions and a scenario from someone else, and maybe you’ll be able to relate to one or both of these stories. And with each, as always, I’ll share tools and tips on how you can recognize the behaviors of strong-willed children, and some Mastermind Parenting strategies that will help you, and your family, breathe easier more often. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Mini-Masters Self Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Children. Because parenting is hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard.: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Many of you are searching for tips on how “not to” parent. This doesn't surprise me because I've talked about this on the podcast before. Asking for the “not to’s” instead of the “how to’s” is part of our human condition. It's much easier and more natural to focus on what not to do rather than what to do.  I've heard this referred to as the human negativity bias and it's something that we've carried over, it's part of our primal wiring. We're always scanning our environment for things that might feel unsafe or dangerous. So, we're always kind of looking for the negative, looking how we can keep ourselves safe and healthy, what we need to avoid and “Not do.”  That's why when our kids are running by a pool and we might say, “Don't run, don't run.” Instead of saying, “Walking feet, walking feet.” It's so much easier and instinctive to say what not to do rather than what to do. Searching for, “What am I not supposed to be doing?” is somewhat of a natural question. Because even though you don't know exactly what to do, you want to make sure that you’re not doing the “terrible” things, something wrong. The way to counteract that human negativity bias is through awareness and a lot of the learnings and positive psychology, which I incorporate into Mastermind Parenting. I'm a bit obsessed with neuroscience and I have been for a very long time. I think it's just so amazing that we can actually create new habits that retrain the way that we communicate, retrain the way that we think, and retrain ourselves. It’s that old adage, “You can't teach an old dog new tricks.” But you can. You just have to practice a whole lot. And when you start to practice little things like focusing on what the behaviors you want, rather than the behaviors you don't want, it doesn't come naturally. It seems so simple, but it doesn't come naturally. So, you have to practice it. In today’s episode, I’m going to use some simple examples and scenarios which will help you begin to practice this shift from the more authoritarian style of parenting which tends to focus on telling our kids what “not to do,” and move toward some more positive approaches found in Mastermind Parenting. It’s about practicing these skills that let you communicate expectations before things go sideways. It’s figuring out what you want, not what you don’t want. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Get a no-pressure, complimentary live assessment for your most challenging parenting problem.: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

We’ve been taking some of recent episodes back to the basics, and today I’m going to unpack the three parenting styles I see most often and explain to you which one I feel is the most effective. (Spoiler alert: Mastermind Parenting, that’s the one that’s most effective.) Now, we’re all inclined to naturally gravitate toward the style we grew up with, that’s what our automatic pilot is going to guide us toward. We all have ideas on what we want to do, which if you’re listening to this podcast, I hope is Mastermind Parenting. But when activated by the “heat of the moment” our emotional brain takes over, it’s just how we’re conditioned. Ok, so the first style is authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parents believe that kids should follow the rules without exception. Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, “Because I said so” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. These parents often complain that their child is not obedient, then force punishments when the child doesn’t obey the rules. Next are permissive parents. Rules may be set, but rarely enforced. Few consequences are given out and these parents also feel their children will learn best with little interference.  Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there's a serious problem. They're quite forgiving, and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.” They have a really challenging time with the follow through, and they may give privileges back if a child begs, or they may allow a child to get out of timeout early. Finally, we have authoritative parenting, sometimes called conscious parenting, or gentle parenting. Mastermind Parenting also falls under this category. It’s putting a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child. These parents explain the reasons behind the rules. They enforce rules and give consequences but take the child's feelings into consideration. They validate their children's feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.  And there are a lot of different ways to do this. Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start, so they are proactive, which is what I believe in. Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions. Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They're also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own. Mastermind parenting in terms of authoritative parenting is all about. It can be hard to not take your child's behavior personally. But realize when they're pushing your buttons, that's your business and nothing for you to put on them. Children are not responsible for adult feelings. Listen to this episode for more of my thoughts and strategies on how you can move toward being a Mastermind Parent! And as always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along. Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Free Cheat Sheet - Three-Step Recipe for Having a Productive Conversation: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Today we are going to be talking about social media, the online world and how technology impacts kids and how parents struggle to manage it all. I have a special guest, Rania Mankarious, who wrote the book, About The Online World: What You Think You Know and What You Don’t. She wrote this book because parents were telling her how overwhelmed they feel about the online world, and kids tell her they need help and they don’t know how to talk to their parents. We all see the effects of this disconnect every day and hear the tragic stories of kids being hurt by everything from cyberbullies to drugs, identity theft, to addiction, suicide, sexual exploitation, and traffickers. These are good kids and their parents have no idea what’s happening–even the parents who follow and monitor their accounts. In her book, Rania bridges the digital gap between parents and kids so they can develop a family safety plan for their online engagement. Listen to this episode as we discuss many of the challenges parents and kids face online, and some strategies you can use today! As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! About Rania Mankarious Rania is a Public Safety Expert and CEO of Crime Stoppers of Houston, with a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a Doctorate of Jurisprudence. She is an avid writer, on-air analyst, lover of people, their stories, and our future. She has been seen and heard on national/local TV and radio for over a decade as a legal, family, crime, mental health, and parenting expert. Citing a personal mission to serve families and engage the public to better society, Rania, a wife and mother of three, is leading by example and making a difference. Web/Social Links LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rania-mankarious-b180aba/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/theraniareport Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rania.mankarious.1 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theraniareport/ Resources Discussed/Links Rania’s book, The Online World, What You Think You Know and What You Don’t: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737885921/ Free Cheat Sheet - Three-Step Recipe for Having a Productive Conversation: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

How do you discipline a strong-willed child without spanking or yelling? We’re building on the last two episodes where I started to unpack the topic of how to best discipline your child. Today I’m focusing on how to avoid spanking or yelling. Most parents know that spanking doesn’t work, and yelling doesn’t either, but most households still spank and yell. A lot of us grew up with spanking as part of our family discipline model, and yelling too, so it can be easy to fall back on these as a “go-to” method when we get frustrated and angry. And I am guilty of this as well, and today I share a recent experience where I simply lost it. Yelling and spanking wounds and hurts our kids. Even though these may come naturally to us because of our past, and what was modeled to us, this doesn’t mean we can’t shift and adopt a different approach. Listen in as I break down my personal experience and some others to help you find a kinder and more gentle way to deal with these situations. You, and your kiddos, will be happier and more grounded. As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! Web/Social Links Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/ Resources Discussed/Links Free Cheat Sheet - Three-Step Recipe for Having a Productive Conversation: https://mastermindparenting.com/productive-conversation/ Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

How do you discipline a strong-willed child who just won’t listen? We’re building on last week’s episode where I unpacked the topic of how to best discipline your child, going a little deeper to tackle those stubborn kids. And the more you request they do something or change a behavior, the more they dig in and just won’t budge.  So frustrating, I know. Bing ignored and dismissed when you’re supposedly the authority figure can feel demoralizing, rude, and disrespectful. It also can feel chaotic and stressful, both for you and your child. It brings all these things up for us as parents, and even if we start off nice, sweet, and calm, we can lose our tempers and start commanding or yelling. Listen to this episode where I go through a scenario many of us have likely experienced. I walk you through what might be going on in this situation and give you some tips on how to deal with it if you find yourself headed down this path. I’ll show you how you can be the leader of your own little wolf pack, and command the authority you deserve, while getting your kiddo to make a choice that’s a win-win situation for everyone. We’re going to disrupt the negative attention seeking pattern that may have formed, allowing you to step in and have your voice heard. Again, just like last week, this is one of the most familiar challenges parents face, and one that I often see parents struggle with, but it doesn’t have to be that way! As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it! Web/Social Links Website Facebook Instagram Takeaways When your child isn’t listening to you or rebelling, it can be demoralizing. If you can’t be the authority, nothing runs smoothly. It can be chaotic and stressful. It feels disrespectful and dismissive, and it hurts. You might feel like you’re not doing your job as a parent, and it can spiral out of control. Your child refuses your request leading to frustration, arguments, and exhaustion. This can be the result of what you were told or modeled in the past. It’s time to be the leader of your pack and command authority. Listen to your kids and understand what is underneath the behavior. Humans crave freedom, so when you try to control, they may rebel. They are trying to get needs met, health and safety comes first. Instead of barking one command, give options that are a win for both of you. It takes a lot of practice and patience, but you can discipline and teach with authority. Resources Discussed/Links Free Cheat Sheet - Three-Step Recipe for Having a Productive Conversation Live assessment Join our Free Facebook Group