In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen and her husband Michael Chen dive into the importance of parenting with kindness—not just toward children, but toward ourselves. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or caregiver, it's common for past traumas to resurface when you're feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin.  Rachael and Michael openly discuss the joys and challenges they've faced in their new marriage, blending families, raising young children, and navigating a pandemic, all of which have both triggered old wounds and offered opportunities for healing. This candid conversation is an invitation to explore how grief can be a catalyst for growth and how choosing kindness over harshness creates space for deeper connection and hope for yourself and for future generations. If you’d like to hear more on this topic, we invite you to join Rachael Clinton Chen and trauma therapist Aundi Kolber on Friday, October 4, for a live webinar, “Parenting As a Trauma Survivor.” They’ll share trauma-informed insights to help you understand why parenting can be so triggering and offer practical tips for addressing your own healing while showing up for your children in the way they need most. Sign up to be part of the conversation at: theallendercenter.org/events   

Dan opens today’s episode with this principle:  “All harm came in relationship; all healing equally requires a relationship.” If you’ve been with us for a while, you’ll understand that healing from abuse is not something we do alone. We need the presence and kindness of others to truly heal and flourish. Yet, when we’ve been abused, it can feel so challenging to trust again, especially when trauma leaves us feeling isolated and hypervigilant. In this episode, Dan and Rachael explore how finding supportive friends, reconnecting with family (if you are able to), and engaging in therapy can play an essential role as you move towards healing. More importantly, they talk about how to discern who is truly safe, trustworthy, and supportive. They offer practical advice on what to look for in those who walk alongside you and how to know if they’re ready to support you. We hope today’s conversation reveals the possibilities ahead and helps you take those first steps toward building meaningful relationships, inviting others into your healing journey.  

This week, we’re sifting through some of the "debris" that can hinder people from moving into the healing process in the wake of sexual abuse.  Dan and Rachael talk about some of the questions that can keep people feeling stuck and silent: What if I don’t remember everything? What if my healing journey affects my loved ones? Shouldn’t I just forgive and move on? Can I wait until life isn’t so busy? What if facing this feels overwhelming? By acknowledging these barriers, you can start to see a way through. Next week, we’ll discuss what’s needed to begin the healing journey from past abuse. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised. Listener Resources: Explore more podcast episodes including: "The Cost of Engaging Stories of Sexual Abuse," "Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse," and "Bearing Witness to Stories of Sexual Abuse and Racial Trauma." Read: Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender Sign up for the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course from the Allender Center  

In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Vanessa Sadler, a trauma-informed spiritual director and contemplative creative, who brings heartfelt wisdom to the conversation about healing from personal and collective trauma and abuse. Vanessa draws on her unique training in the Enneagram, spiritual direction, and Narrative Focused Trauma Care to explore what spiritual direction truly is (and what it is not).  Vanessa highlights the transformative power of spiritual direction as a vital part of the healing journey, helping to renew our spiritual imagination and attachment to God, ourselves, and others. She also shares some contemplative practices and resources that can support this process, which are linked in the show notes below. Listener Resources: Subscribe to NOURISH Daily, a guided journey delivered to your inbox for 30 days, at https://centerfjp.org/nourish/ . Vanessa’s recommended reading list includes: Starting Spiritual Direction by John Mabry, Meditations of the Heart by Howard Thurman, and The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner. She also references authors Margaret Gunther and Kaitlin Curtice and therapist Melody Li. Read more about the Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, and the practices of kataphatic and apophatic prayer. Listen to Peace Talks, a podcast hosted by Vanessa Sadler from the Center for Formation, Justice, and Peace. In particular, Vanessa references this episode with Linda Royster and Dan Allender.

Spiritual director and story coach, TJ Poon, sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen to explore the intersection of spiritual formation and White racial identity development.  We’ll begin by saying that we are approaching this conversation with a deep sense of responsibility and humility, honoring the voices of people of color who have led the way and are aware that two White people are not experts on racism. This is a complex topic and there will be missteps. Even when the conversations are difficult, we at the Allender Center know that the realities of racism and White supremacy cannot be ignored, and we are committed to holding a space to engage them. In today’s episode, TJ and Rachael consider how White-bodied people understand their stories, how their stories and spiritual formation have been influenced by systems of Whiteness, and the challenge of feeling anchored and connected to family histories. They also acknowledge that on this journey of personal and collective healing, White people will inevitably need to confront anxiety, shame, and humiliation in their pursuit of restoration, with a commitment to what TJ calls “joyful anti-racist action.” We hope you’ll join us in this conversation with curiosity, compassion, and courage, understanding that ongoing dialogue, learning, and formation are vital to our work with trauma on behalf of the kingdom of God. We invite you to also listen to: Racial Trauma and White Supremacy Becoming an Anti-Racist, Part One Becoming an Anti-Racist, Part Two The Violence of Marginalization  

Parents, this episode is for you! Join Rachael Clinton Chen as she sits down with Jay and Heather Stringer to explore how to talk to your kids about sensitive topics like the body, desire, sex, puberty, and even pornography in ways that are kind and attuned to their needs.  Jay and Heather share the importance of parents first exploring their own stories around sexuality, as unresolved issues or patterns in our own upbringing can impact how we approach these conversations with our children.  In this episode, you’ll find thoughtful discussions on attachment, body image, puberty, sex, and how to navigate challenging subjects like porn and sexting. Instead of having one big, awkward conversation, Jay and Heather suggest having ongoing, age-appropriate chats that feel natural and comfortable. The aim is to empower your kids to feel confident and informed as they learn about their bodies and desires, all within the safety of a loving and supportive environment. If you’re looking to change the narrative for your kids around sex and want to create intentional, meaningful conversations, this episode is a great place to start. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex and sexual development and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.  

We’re back to engage more questions from you, our listeners, about healing from spiritual abuse. In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen, alongside Allender Center Product Manager Melissa Dowell, addresses heartfelt and challenging questions from our community.  These questions explore the complexities of bringing spiritual abuse to light, navigating healing as survivors, especially those who have faced backlash for speaking out, and managing the unique struggles of working in a church while dealing with past or present spiritual harm. Thank you to all who submitted questions. This is part of an ongoing conversation, and we are deeply grateful for your willingness to ask questions, listen to this episode, and engage with these issues with us. More resources on spiritual abuse: Listen to this Spotify playlist: Over 20 Podcasts on Spiritual Abuse & Healing from the Allender Center Check out this set of recorded webinars with Rachael Clinton Chen: Confronting Spiritual Abuse and Healing from Spiritual Abuse (with Matthias Roberts) Join the waitlist for the Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing, happening May 16-18, 2025.

Join Rachael Clinton Chen for the conclusion of her three-part series, where she offers a candid and heartfelt look at her journey of holistic healing from complex PTSD and anxiety. In this final episode, Rachael explores the surprising aspects of trauma recovery, including how trauma manifests in the body and the often unpredictable nature of the healing process. Building on her previous discussions about the mental and spiritual impacts of trauma, Rachael now turns her focus to the physical aspects of healing. She shares insights from her own experiences with various healing modalities, highlighting what has been effective for her. While this episode is not intended as medical advice, we hope the central message is clear: healing is a continuous journey, full of both challenges and progress, and sometimes requiring revisiting old wounds. We hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations has brought you hope, made you laugh, made you think, and most of all made you feel like you’re not alone. Thank you for taking this journey with us. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this series—please email us at support@theallendercenter.org with your feedback!

This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. The third and final episode in our summer replay series features Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, and Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call. This was our most-downloaded episode about marriage last year, and there’s definitely some wisdom in this conversation. You’ll hear how our attachment styles show up within the context of marriage, how to identify and name those attachments, and how to heal in our most intimate relationships. We’ll be back next week with an all-new episode! Listener Resources: To learn more about how our stories unfold in our marriages, check out the Marriage Online Course. Listen to more episodes on the topic of marriage and relationships on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Marriage & Relationships.  

This month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. This episode in our summer replay series is a conversation with the amazing Marcie Alvis Walker. You may know Marcie’s work from her popular Instagram feed, Black Coffee with White Friends, or her Black-Eyed Stories on Substack. Co-hosted by Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster, this conversation focuses on Marcie’s memoir, “Everybody Come Alive,” where she reflects on the imprint of God, race, and gender growing up in the 70s and 80s. Listener Resources: Pick up your copy of Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays by Marcie Alvis Walker here. Listen to more episodes on the topic of spiritual abuse and healing on this curated Spotify playlist: Podcasts on Racial Trauma & Healing. Read the full transcript of this episode as it originally aired in July 2023.