The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover contextual behaviorism with Dr. Emily Sandoz. Emily is a professor of social sciences in the psychology department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, the director of the Louisiana Contextual Science Research Group, as well as the Editor in Chief of the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Sciences, and has co-authored three books on acceptance and commitment therapy.Changing or eliminating problematic behavior is not as simple as flipping a switch, but what role does your environment play, how can you identify contextual problems in your daily life that are affecting your behavior, and what is the best way to learn new behaviors?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is contextual behaviorism and how does the environment influence your ability to change your behavior? Using  – 11:50  How can you use contextual behaviorism to change your problematic behavior? What does it mean to have access to certain behaviors and how do you what behaviors you do have access to? Learning new behaviors – 23:07 What is the best way to learn new behaviors? How can you use contextualism to manage your perfectionism? Give better advice with context in mind – 33:00 How can you set up your environment to be more conducive to the life you want? How do you shift from a goal-driven mindset to a value-driven mindset and what’s the difference? Context matters. That couldn’t be more true than with our behavioral development. Our behaviors impact the world around us and the world around us impacts our behaviors. So if you’re struggling to change your behaviors, one of the best places to look for a solution is your environment. What is it about your environment that is making it more difficult for you to change? A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeDr. Emily SandozCheck in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover high value behaviors with AJ and Johnny. Being a high value person opens doors to opportunities you never thought possible, so what does it mean to be high value, what high value behaviors should you look for in yourself and others, and what simple steps can you take to filter high value people into your life?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are high value behaviors important if you want to have a healthy social circle and fulfilling life? What does it mean to be high value – 16:10  What is the difference between high and low value behaviors and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to be miserable? How do you deal with friends who want to hold you back when you’re trying to grow and be a better person? How to Build a High Value Social Circle – 28:00 What steps can you take to build and maintain a social circle of high value individuals who will support you and be there for you when you need them? Examples of High Value Behavior – 37:50 How can you identify high value behavior in the people around you so you know who to connect with and who to avoid? So, what are high value behaviors? They’re the things that help us grow and become better people. They make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. And they attract other high value individuals into our social circles. We all want to be happy and have a good life, but too often we get stuck around low value behavior that keeps us from reaching our goals. If you want to break out of this cycle and build a better life for yourself, start by making some changes in the way you interact with the people around you. Replace low value behaviors with high value ones, and surround yourself with positive people who will support your growth. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it. A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeAvoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover winning your breakup with Natasha Adamo. Natasha is a high-performance coach, relationship coach, speaker, blogger with over two and a half million readers, and the author of Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away.Breakups can be painful and get drawn out, so what can you do win your breakup, what does it mean to win, and how can you avoid falling into another toxic relationship?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the signs of toxic relationships? How do you win your breakup? Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle – 19:48  How do you break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another? What signs should you look for in a potential partner? Stay on your white horse after a breakup – 27:20 What steps should you take after a breakup to speed up the recovery process? What should you avoid doing after a breakup if you want to move on? Emotional Entrepreneurship – 45:36 What is an emotional entrepreneur and why are people drawn to emotional entrepreneurs? Winning a breakup is not about getting your ex back. It's about gaining back control of your life and becoming emotionally stronger. So how do you win? You need to understand what it means to win. Identify the signs of toxic relationships, break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another, and take steps to speed up the recovery process..A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Natasha Adamo’s website Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away by Natasha Adamo Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover mental health with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, co-host of the podcast Dear Therapists, and the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.Mental health is a priority now more than ever, so what are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health, how do you know if you should talk to a professional, and why is boundary setting crucial to positive mental health?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health issues? What is the value in seeing a therapist versus talking to your friends and family about issues you’re experiencing in life? The self-sabotaging stories we tell ourselves – 11:12  Why do we tell ourselves stories about what happens to us and how do those stories have lasting negative impacts on us and the people around us? What impact do the people around us have on our mental health and what can you do if your friends aren’t healthy for you? Setting and maintaining boundaries – 24:24 How do you set boundaries and maintain them with people who constantly violate them?  Finding the right person – 47:05 What is the number one question you should ask yourself when on a first date? Mental health is something many people struggle with, but often don’t talk about. The signs that someone is struggling can be easily overlooked if you’re not aware of them. It’s important to be there for your loved ones and help them get the help they need if you see any of these signs. If you’re experiencing mental health issues, it’s valuable to seek out therapy. Friends and family are great sources of support, but sometimes talking to somebody neutral who isn’t invested in our lives can be really helpful, even lifesaving. A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Lori Gottlieb’s website Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch TED Talk: How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen.Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is your ability to influence others a superpower? What are the three paradoxes of charisma? Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15  What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma? Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14  How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want? How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no? What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30 What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication? What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view? The levels of listening – 47:30 What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone? You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life.A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeInfluence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe ChanceZoe Chance’s websiteGive and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant Check in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover metabolic health with Dr Philip Ovadia. Dr. Ovadia is a board certified Cardiac Surgeon, founder of Ovadia Heart Health, and the author of Stay Off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day. What you put into your body has a direct impact on your metabolic health, but what is metabolic health, why is it important, and what can you do to support a strong metabolic health so you don’t end up on the operating table or in an early grave? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is metabolic health and how does it impact the other areas of your life including mental health? The big medical myths – 13:17  What is the biggest medical myth that is making us more unhealthy every year? Should we be consuming supplements? How did unhealthy food become so normalized that we serve it in hospitals where we’re supposed to go to get better? The 5 metrics of Metabolic Health – 26:09  What metrics should you and your doctor pay attention to if you want to avoid ending up on the operating table? What is the biggest pitfall of intermittent fasting and what can you do to work around it? Nutrition and Metabolic Health – 35:44 What should you eat to support your metabolic health and what should you avoid? How do nutrition and your metabolic health affect your mental well being? It’s clear that metabolic health is critical for overall well-being. Unfortunately, unhealthy food has become normalized to the point where we are now serving it in hospitals. If you want to avoid ending up on the operating table, make sure you and your doctor are paying attention to the following metrics: fasting blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and waist circumference. To support your metabolic health, make sure you eat plenty of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables and other whole foods. Avoid processed foods high in sugar and seed oils. By making small changes to your diet, you can improve your metabolic health and reduce your risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease or diabetes.A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Dr Ovadia’s website Stay Off My Operating Table Podcast hosted by Dr Ovadia Stay off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day by Dr Ovadia Dr Ovadia on Twitter Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover trust and cooperation with Abbie Maroño. Abbie is the Director of Education at Social-Engineer, is a lecturer in Psychology, has a PhD in Behavior Analysis, was mentored by the body language expert Joe Navarro, and performs academic research specializing in nonverbal communication, trust, and cooperation.Trust is important because our survival depends on our ability to cooperate with the people around us, so why do we place a strong emphasis on competition, what signals should we look for to determine someone’s trustworthiness, and how do we build trust in the first place?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the definition of trust according to modern science? How fast can trust be built and destroyed? The big myth about competition and survival of the fittest – 10:10  What do we get wrong about competition vs cooperation in modern society, and why does this misconception lead to unhappiness and discontent in the workplace? What nonverbal signals should you look for to determine if someone is trustworthy? The trust problem with Zoom and Facetime – 24:52  What 3 common mistakes should you avoid when talking to someone through a video call if you want to build trust and comfort? How does your lower body signal your approachability to the people around you, and how should you be standing if you want to be approachable? How to rebuild trust – 37:48  What is the best way to apologize and rebuild trust after you break it? What are the biggest myths surrounding eye contact and trust? Trust is essential for both our personal and professional lives, but it can be difficult to build and easy to destroy. By understanding the signals we send when it comes to trustworthiness, we can take the necessary steps to build trust or rebuild trust after it’s been broken. And by fostering a cooperative environment, we can create happier relationships and more productive teams. A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Abbie Maroño’s website Abbie Maroño on Twitter Abbie Maroño on LinkedIn Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals by Charles Darwin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Barry Nalebuff. Barry is a Professor at Yale where he has taught negotiation, innovation, strategy, and game theory for thirty years, and recently authored Split the Pie: A Radical New Way to Negotiate, which is based on his negotiation course.Negotiating can be intimidating if you don’t do it on a regular basis, so what simple tips can you remember to make your next negotiation a win, how do you negotiate with people who are clearly more experienced than you, and what is the best question to ask when negotiating your salary?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What’s the difference between Split the Pie and Never Split the Difference? How to negotiate with unfair people – 10:55  What can you do to negotiate with people who don’t care about fairness? How can you “be ready to walk away” from a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Dealing with people who don’t see the win-win outcome – 21:10  How do we use empathy to get the other person’s perspective and come up with a deal that satisfies both parties? How much information should you disclose in a negotiation if you’re worried the information might be used against you? How to build your negotiation skills – 35:30  What can you do to develop your negotiation skills? How can you get the other party to see the pie you’re negotiating over? What advice should you avoid when negotiating? Negotiate the salary you deserve – 44:08 What questions can you ask so you know how to ask for the best compensation package without losing the offer? It is important to remember that the goal of any negotiation should be a mutually beneficial agreement, aka the pie. Both parties need to feel like they’ve won something and achieved their goals in order for negotiations to be successful. If you can walk into a negotiation with empathy and an understanding of the other person’s perspective, you’re already on your way to building better skills. What have been your biggest challenges when negotiating? Let us know in the comments below. We would love to help!A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Split the Pie by Barry Nalebuff Co-Opetition by Barry Nalebuff Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the brain with Lisa Barrett, PhD. Lisa is among the top one percent most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of the best-selling Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain.As we learn more about the brain we realize how mistaken we once were, so what have we been getting wrong about the brain, what have we learned, and how can you use that information to eliminate the unhelpful patterns and bad habits holding you back from living a fulfilling life?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Where did the myth about the lizard brain come from and why is it such a popular belief? Moving beyond the Lizard Brain – 10:47  What is the correct way to think about the conflict between rationality and what we mistakenly believe is the lizard brain so we can work toward becoming the people we want to be? How is our brain functionality connected to our metabolism and how can you use that information to increase your brain’s performance and longevity? Busting the Memory Myth – 26:10  How do our memories influence the way we operate in life and what can you do to overwrite old patterns that aren’t helping you anymore? How does your metabolism Do we have control over our actions? – 35:10  How does your body react to things before you are consciously aware of them and how can you use that to recognize unhelpful patterns? What can you do to deconstruct unhelpful patterns and habits, and make it easier to build healthier habits? Why does anxiety make things harder? – 43:30 What can you do to make it easier to do things that would normally cause you a lot of stress and anxiety? How do our brains wire to connect and influence the brains of the people we interact with? Science has shown us that our words and behavior have a measurable impact on the health of people around us. This means if we want to have a positive impact on those we care about, it’s crucial that we are thoughtful and intentional when interacting with others. Be mindful of the words you use, the eye contact you make, the body language you use, and how you treat people. Every person you influence will in turn influence you, so if you want to live in a positive, supporting environment, make sure you are treating others with love, respect, and encouragement.A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this Episode Lisa Barrett’s website Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Barrett How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Barrett Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

AJ and Johnny discuss low value behaviors that push people away, importance of attention and approval, identifying low value behaviors, avoiding supplicative and combative behavior, and the detrimental effects of constant competition in relationships.