The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.In today’s episode, we cover how to forge a thriving life with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael. We are at war with the modern world when it comes to leading lives of satisfaction and fulfillment because technology and society are pushing us to be depressed and isolated, so how do you overcome it, what can you do to build a thriving social life, and how do you determine a mission that keeps you focused and driven?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the key to health, wellness, and success in the modern world? Navigating daily life, office politics, and media can lead to feeling isolated – 10:23 How is the modern world pushing us to isolate and how do you overcome it so you don’t end up sad and lonely? How to build a new social circle – 21:11  Where do you start if you want to create an exciting social life? What do we use to add value to peoples’ lives and enrich the relationships in our lives so people value us and want to spend time with us? How do you reconnect with old friends? Define your mission to attract high value connections – 31:32 Why is it important to spend time figuring out one's mission and becoming mission-driven, and how do you figure out what your mission is? How do you create a high value network so you never worry about being lonely, unemployed, or single? Building relationships is key to success in many areas, including the workplace, and cannot be replaced by hard work alone. And despite external factors such as nepotism and favoritism playing a role in success, building social capital in the form of value you can add to the relationships in your life is key. This episode offers strategies and frameworks for reconnecting with old relationships that have drifted away, including reaching out and inviting people into one's life. Find and connect with people who share similar goals and mindsets. Tune in to this episode for insights on building momentum in life through a high-value network and community. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scRunning out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeThe Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger | AOC PodcastCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.In today’s episode, we cover magic words and the impact of language with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a Wharton School professor, an expert on natural language processing, influence, and consumer behavior, and is the internationally bestselling author of Magic Words, Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst.Questions are the key to connecting with the people around you, so what kinds of questions should you ask when getting to know someone, what questions should you avoid, and how can you word questions in a way to get people to do what you want them to do?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are questions so powerful when talking to people? What kind of question should you ask if you want other people to like you or perceive you better? What should you say if someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer? Questions that Push People Out and Pull People In – 14:53 What questions do we ask that put people on the defensive and how do we reword the same questions to get the answers we actually want? What questions can you ask to turn strangers into friends? How many questions can you ask before a conversation gets uncomfortable? Identity and Agency Questions – 26:29  What questions can you ask to motivate people to take the action you want them to take? How do many of us use self-talk the wrong way and how does it sabotage our goals and dreams?  What is hedging and how does hedging make us seem less confident? When we use questions as tools, they become powerful. They can build bridges or break them; it's up to us to decide which kind of question we want to use. If you want other people to like you and view you better, the best type of question should be open-ended, positive and interesting. Avoid questions that put people on the defensive and instead choose phrases that invoke thought and curiosity. Asking questions to strangers is a great way to get them interested in knowing more about you and forming new relationships. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scRunning out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeJonah Berger’s websiteMagic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah BergerJonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion | AOC Podcast Jonah Berger | Invisible Influence | AOC PodcastBetterHelpCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.In today’s episode, we cover anger and compassion with Russell Kolts, PhD. Russell is Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, an internationally recognized trainer in compassion-focused therapy (CFT), a TedX speaker, and the author of several books on compassion-focused therapy including CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide.Many men struggle with anger, especially today because society condemns the emotion, so what does it mean to express anger in healthy ways vs unhealthy ways, what can you do to manage your anger effectively, and how can you use self-compassion to ensure your anger doesn’t destroy your relationships?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest misconceptions around compassion and why is compassion important to your ability to dominate life with finesse and courage? Is it bad to use anger as fuel for action and growth? How to Manage Anger – 12:40 What exercise can you implement today to make sure you don’t blow up at someone you care about the next time they make you angry? The worst way to resolve conflict – 22:46  How do you handle conflict and arguments when your anger feels overwhelming? How do you manage shame effectively? Why is a problem solving approach problematic in relationship conflicts? Tools for Building Self Compassion – 41:20  What 2 questions can you ask yourself to develop self compassion so you can be as patient and understanding with yourself as you are with the people you care about?  Self compassion doesn’t come naturally, especially for men, but it’s crucial for not allowing anger to control us. Also, it’s important to recognize the difference between using anger for positive things like motivation for taking action or problem solving versus letting anger consume us. It takes awareness, intention, and practice to be able to show the same compassion to yourself as you do the people you care about. When done effectively, showing compassion can transform any kind of hostile situation into something more meaningful, both in relationships you’re part of and in life in general. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scRunning out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeAnger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | TEDxOlympiaRussell Kolts on TwitterCFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused TherapyBuddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's GuideBetterHelpCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks, TEDx speaker and author of Men's Work, discusses topics such as the importance of initiation rituals for men, improving self-talk, the role of men's groups, and the secret to non-neediness in relationships. They also explore the impact of absent fathers on young boys and the illusion of endless pathways in pursuing happiness.

In today’s episode, we cover the unsold mindset with Colin Goggins and Garrett Brown. Colin and Garrett are sales leaders, teachers of the popular USC course Sales Mindset for Entrepreneurs, co-founders of Agency18, keynote speakers and guest lecturers, and the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell.Sales can be brutal if you don’t have the right mindset, so what makes the best salespeople so great, what is the one quality you should express in every interaction with a potential customer, and how do you build resilience to push through all the rejection? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What makes for a great salesperson and why don’t the best salespeople consider themselves to be salespeople? Transformational vs Transactional Sales – 22:10 What is the difference between transformational and transactional sales and which one do customers prefer? Why is it a strength to be intentionally ignorant when meeting/speaking with customers? What is the most important quality you can express when interacting with a potential customer? Rejection and Resiliency – 34:18  What can you do to build resilience in sales so you don’t get hung up on rejection? What is the difference between toxic positivity and pathological optimism and why is one off putting while the other is necessary to accomplish great things? Goal Setting – 56:32  How should you view and set goals so they help you rather than hinder you? How do you find a meaningful purpose in your work when you feel your work is meaningless? Salespeople are great connectors, and success in sales not only takes hard work but also the right mindset. Building resilience is key to sustaining energy in sales, so techniques like positive self-talk are incredibly important. By setting achievable goals and adopting motivation techniques like vision boards, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that arise in the workplace. Attitude is everything when it comes to finding purpose and passion in your work; no matter how mundane it may seem, every task can bring joy and meaning if you choose to make it worthwhile. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeThe Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell by Colin Coggins, Garrett BrownColin and Garrett’s websiteColin and Garrett on TwitterColin and Garrett on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of subtraction with Leidy Klotz. Leidy studies the science of design, his research has appeared in both Nature and Science, and his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, was ranked as one of the most influential titles in the fields of design and behavioral science.As humans, we gravitate toward acquiring things and activities to add value to our lives, but many times we can add value to our lives by removing things from it—why is our biology working against us, how can you determine what to subtract from your life, and how do you get your family, friends, and coworkers on board?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you make your life more fulfilling by removing things from your life? Why does our biology prime us to add things to our life even if those things don’t enrich our lives? Reduce Distractions to Increase Fulfillment – 16:28 What questions can you ask to determine what you should remove from your life to improve your life? What pushes you to add unnecessary things to your life – 31:53  What are the forces around you that are always nudging you to add things to your life that end up unnecessarily complicating your life? Getting people on board with the concept of subtraction – 44:40  What can you say to people to convince them that removing things from their lives will improve their lives? Many of us go through life without taking the time to analyze what brings value to our lives and what doesn’t. Our biology drives us to seek out things that we think will make us happy but often those things don’t actually bring long-term fulfillment. Consider evaluating what you have in your life and see if there are any areas where you could declutter your life for more contentment, or to free up time to focus on the things that do bring value to your life. When was the last time you took inventory of your life and considered ways you could simplify? A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeLeidy Klotz’s websiteSubtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy KlotzCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover fun with Mike Rucker. Mike is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, recovering entrepreneur, and the author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life.The pursuit of pleasure has been beaten into us as an unhealthy one by many thought leaders throughout history, but what role do fun and leisure play in increasing our productivity, how can you leverage pleasure to make daily work more enjoyable, and what can you do to create more space in your day for pleasurable activities if you find yourself burning out on work?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does focusing on happiness lead to rumination and depression?  Hedonic Flexibility Principle – 16:02 What role do fun and leisure play in maximizing productivity and life satisfaction? How important is it to take a sabbatical periodically to recharge and regain a healthy focus on life and work? Activity Bundling – 34:03  What can you do to add fun and pleasure to your daily activities to make them more enjoyable and thus encourage you to do them better? Creating Options for Fun in Your Life – 43:28  What little decisions can you make everyday to make your life more fulfilling? What simple framework can you use to create space in your life to integrate more fun activities and decrease the number of soul-sucking activities? It is evident that happiness does not necessarily lie in big accomplishments or major life changes, but rather in the small choices we make each day. When we focus on making those choices fun and enjoyable, we are more likely to stick with them and see lasting results. What are some small decisions you can make today to add a little bit of fun and pleasure to your daily routine?A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeThe Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your LifeMike Rucker’s websiteCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance aging with Steven Kotler. Steven is one of the world’s leading experts on human performance, an award-winning journalist, and is a New York Times bestselling author of 11 bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Future is Faster Than You Think, Stealing Fire, The Rise of Superman, and Bold and Abundance, and his newest book, Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad.Aging gets a bad rep because many people don’t age gracefully, but you don’t have to be one of those many—so what is it about aging that makes us feel old, what is the key to maintaining your youth into old age, and what is the secret to excelling at new skills no matter how old you are?A Word From Our Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the four horsemen of relationship dynamics with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael. We all encounter four dynamics in our personal and professional relationships, so what are they, what is the best way to approach each one to minimize conflict, and in the case of conflict, what makes for the best and worst apologies?What to Listen For The Four Horsemen of Relationship Dynamics: Criticism – 0:00 What are the four primary relationship dynamics? What’s the best way to handle criticism in a relationship? How do you effectively give criticism in a relationship without angering or upsetting your partner? Defensiveness – 15:35 What are the 3 ways defensiveness shows up in relationships and how should you approach each one? What is the worst kind of apology? What makes a good apology? Stonewalling – 27:42  What is stonewalling and why does it do so much damage to relationships? What is the best way to handle a friend or partner who stonewalls in response to potential arguments? The Final Straw: Contempt – 44:14  What is the best predictor of divorce? Why do you start feeling contempt for your partner? What strategies can you use to break the cycle of feeling contempt for someone?  Nobody likes feeling criticized, but it’s an unavoidable part of every relationship and we have to know how to give and receive criticism effectively in order to grow. The key is to learn how to give criticism in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship or make your partner feel defensive. If you can learn how to recognize and manage stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt, you’ll be on the right track to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeThe Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and StonewallingCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ben Nemtin, New York Times bestselling author and co-founder of The Buried Life movement, joins to share insights on chasing dreams. He discusses the transformative impact of creating a compelling bucket list and the significance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals. Nemtin emphasizes the benefits of sharing your goals to foster accountability and motivation. Through personal anecdotes, he inspires listeners to embrace discomfort and tackle fears, turning dreams into actionable steps for a fulfilling life.