The Art of Charm
Break Free From Limiting Beliefs And Self-Destructive Patterns Today | Vienna Pharaon
Episode guests
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
- Recognizing and addressing origin wounds from childhood can create space for new behaviors and meaningful connections.
- Witnessing and grieving past wounds helps in understanding protective behaviors and achieving freedom in relationships.
- Shifting from shame to curiosity allows exploration of behavioral origins, leading to healthier responses and authentic connections.
Deep dives
Understanding Origin Wounds and Their Impact on Relationships
Origin wounds, stemming from past experiences, manifest in our behavior and communication patterns. Vienna Farron delves into the link between childhood patterns and their effect on adult relationships. By recognizing and addressing these wounds, individuals can create a space between stimulus and response, allowing for new behaviors and more meaningful connections.
The Power of Witnessing and Grieving for Healing
Vienna highlights the importance of witnessing and grieving as pivotal steps in healing from past wounds. Through this process, individuals can connect with their younger self and understand the protective nature of their behaviors. By addressing these internal restraints, one can achieve a sense of freedom and choose new, healthier responses in relationships.
Changing Patterns Through Curiosity and Acceptance
By shifting from shame to curiosity, individuals can explore the origins of their behaviors and embrace self-awareness. Vienna emphasizes the role of curiosity in understanding why certain patterns persist and how they may be linked to past experiences. This introspective approach enables individuals to pivot towards healthier behaviors and foster authentic connections.
Connecting Behavior to Protection and Freedom
Vienna discusses the connection between behavioral patterns and protection mechanisms influenced by past traumas. Understanding these protective responses allows individuals to prioritize connection over avoidance. By recognizing triggers and giving space for conscious choices, one can break free from limiting patterns and attain a sense of freedom in relationships.
Exploration of Internal Restraints and Behavioral Freedom
Exploring internal restraints and subconscious patterns lead to a deeper understanding of one's behaviors and communication styles. Vienna advocates for naming and witnessing these patterns to create a space for transformative growth. This process enables individuals to pivot towards new behaviors aligned with their desired future selves, fostering healthier relationships and personal growth.
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In today’s episode, we cover how patterns from your childhood impact your current relationships with Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed family and marriage therapist, the author of the national bestseller The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love,
We all have behaviors that help and hurt us, but the behaviors that hurt us aren’t always obvious, so what can you do to identify the behavioral patterns that negatively impact your life and relationships and what can you do to overcome them so you can build confidence and long-lasting fulfilling relationships?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How do our childhood experiences create patterns in our relationships, behavior, and communication?
- Identifying old wounds you don’t know about – 14:40
- What are the obvious signs you have detrimental thought patterns left over from your childhood that are negatively impacting your relationships today?
- How do you stop dating people who aren’t good for you?
- Breaking patterns and healing old wounds – 29:00
- What steps can you take to break harmful patterns in yourself and heal the wounds that cause the patterns to keep repeating?
- The value of grief – 39:50
- What is grief exactly and why is it important to feel and process grief when we experience it?
- How does dealing with your grief improve your relationships and prevent them from failing?
Breaking childhood patterns is something that can take time, but it is an important step for anyone in order to create relationships that are healthy and fulfilling. Whether you are trying to build healthier relationships with friends or a romantic partner, understanding your family system is key. Taking a closer look at the childhood patterns that show up in adult life can provide insight into how we interact with others and sabotage our social and romantic relationships. By implementing the four-step process laid out in this episode, you can start breaking these patterns today, pivot in directions that bring joy and confidence, and create more dynamic relationships as a result of it. After working through this process, you will be empowered by the new-found understanding of what brought you to your current reality - giving yourself permission to make different choices going forward will reward you mentally and affirmingly for many years to come.
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