The Art of Charm

Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks, TEDx speaker and author of Men's Work, discusses topics such as the importance of initiation rituals for men, improving self-talk, the role of men's groups, and the secret to non-neediness in relationships. They also explore the impact of absent fathers on young boys and the illusion of endless pathways in pursuing happiness.

In today’s episode, we cover the unsold mindset with Colin Goggins and Garrett Brown. Colin and Garrett are sales leaders, teachers of the popular USC course Sales Mindset for Entrepreneurs, co-founders of Agency18, keynote speakers and guest lecturers, and the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell.Sales can be brutal if you don’t have the right mindset, so what makes the best salespeople so great, what is the one quality you should express in every interaction with a potential customer, and how do you build resilience to push through all the rejection? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What makes for a great salesperson and why don’t the best salespeople consider themselves to be salespeople? Transformational vs Transactional Sales – 22:10 What is the difference between transformational and transactional sales and which one do customers prefer? Why is it a strength to be intentionally ignorant when meeting/speaking with customers? What is the most important quality you can express when interacting with a potential customer? Rejection and Resiliency – 34:18  What can you do to build resilience in sales so you don’t get hung up on rejection? What is the difference between toxic positivity and pathological optimism and why is one off putting while the other is necessary to accomplish great things? Goal Setting – 56:32  How should you view and set goals so they help you rather than hinder you? How do you find a meaningful purpose in your work when you feel your work is meaningless? Salespeople are great connectors, and success in sales not only takes hard work but also the right mindset. Building resilience is key to sustaining energy in sales, so techniques like positive self-talk are incredibly important. By setting achievable goals and adopting motivation techniques like vision boards, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that arise in the workplace. Attitude is everything when it comes to finding purpose and passion in your work; no matter how mundane it may seem, every task can bring joy and meaning if you choose to make it worthwhile. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Resources from this EpisodeThe Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell by Colin Coggins, Garrett BrownColin and Garrett’s websiteColin and Garrett on TwitterColin and Garrett on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of subtraction with Leidy Klotz. Leidy studies the science of design, his research has appeared in both Nature and Science, and his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, was ranked as one of the most influential titles in the fields of design and behavioral science.As humans, we gravitate toward acquiring things and activities to add value to our lives, but many times we can add value to our lives by removing things from it—why is our biology working against us, how can you determine what to subtract from your life, and how do you get your family, friends, and coworkers on board?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you make your life more fulfilling by removing things from your life? Why does our biology prime us to add things to our life even if those things don’t enrich our lives? Reduce Distractions to Increase Fulfillment – 16:28 What questions can you ask to determine what you should remove from your life to improve your life? What pushes you to add unnecessary things to your life – 31:53  What are the forces around you that are always nudging you to add things to your life that end up unnecessarily complicating your life? Getting people on board with the concept of subtraction – 44:40  What can you say to people to convince them that removing things from their lives will improve their lives? Many of us go through life without taking the time to analyze what brings value to our lives and what doesn’t. Our biology drives us to seek out things that we think will make us happy but often those things don’t actually bring long-term fulfillment. Consider evaluating what you have in your life and see if there are any areas where you could declutter your life for more contentment, or to free up time to focus on the things that do bring value to your life. When was the last time you took inventory of your life and considered ways you could simplify? A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeLeidy Klotz’s websiteSubtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy KlotzCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover fun with Mike Rucker. Mike is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, recovering entrepreneur, and the author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life.The pursuit of pleasure has been beaten into us as an unhealthy one by many thought leaders throughout history, but what role do fun and leisure play in increasing our productivity, how can you leverage pleasure to make daily work more enjoyable, and what can you do to create more space in your day for pleasurable activities if you find yourself burning out on work?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does focusing on happiness lead to rumination and depression?  Hedonic Flexibility Principle – 16:02 What role do fun and leisure play in maximizing productivity and life satisfaction? How important is it to take a sabbatical periodically to recharge and regain a healthy focus on life and work? Activity Bundling – 34:03  What can you do to add fun and pleasure to your daily activities to make them more enjoyable and thus encourage you to do them better? Creating Options for Fun in Your Life – 43:28  What little decisions can you make everyday to make your life more fulfilling? What simple framework can you use to create space in your life to integrate more fun activities and decrease the number of soul-sucking activities? It is evident that happiness does not necessarily lie in big accomplishments or major life changes, but rather in the small choices we make each day. When we focus on making those choices fun and enjoyable, we are more likely to stick with them and see lasting results. What are some small decisions you can make today to add a little bit of fun and pleasure to your daily routine?A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeThe Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your LifeMike Rucker’s websiteCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance aging with Steven Kotler. Steven is one of the world’s leading experts on human performance, an award-winning journalist, and is a New York Times bestselling author of 11 bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Future is Faster Than You Think, Stealing Fire, The Rise of Superman, and Bold and Abundance, and his newest book, Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad.Aging gets a bad rep because many people don’t age gracefully, but you don’t have to be one of those many—so what is it about aging that makes us feel old, what is the key to maintaining your youth into old age, and what is the secret to excelling at new skills no matter how old you are?A Word From Our Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the four horsemen of relationship dynamics with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael. We all encounter four dynamics in our personal and professional relationships, so what are they, what is the best way to approach each one to minimize conflict, and in the case of conflict, what makes for the best and worst apologies?What to Listen For The Four Horsemen of Relationship Dynamics: Criticism – 0:00 What are the four primary relationship dynamics? What’s the best way to handle criticism in a relationship? How do you effectively give criticism in a relationship without angering or upsetting your partner? Defensiveness – 15:35 What are the 3 ways defensiveness shows up in relationships and how should you approach each one? What is the worst kind of apology? What makes a good apology? Stonewalling – 27:42  What is stonewalling and why does it do so much damage to relationships? What is the best way to handle a friend or partner who stonewalls in response to potential arguments? The Final Straw: Contempt – 44:14  What is the best predictor of divorce? Why do you start feeling contempt for your partner? What strategies can you use to break the cycle of feeling contempt for someone?  Nobody likes feeling criticized, but it’s an unavoidable part of every relationship and we have to know how to give and receive criticism effectively in order to grow. The key is to learn how to give criticism in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship or make your partner feel defensive. If you can learn how to recognize and manage stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt, you’ll be on the right track to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers. A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this EpisodeThe Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and StonewallingCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTubeThe Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ben Nemtin, New York Times bestselling author and co-founder of The Buried Life movement, joins to share insights on chasing dreams. He discusses the transformative impact of creating a compelling bucket list and the significance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals. Nemtin emphasizes the benefits of sharing your goals to foster accountability and motivation. Through personal anecdotes, he inspires listeners to embrace discomfort and tackle fears, turning dreams into actionable steps for a fulfilling life.

In today’s episode, we cover quitting with Annie Duke. Annie is a national best-selling author, former professional poker player, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space, as well as Special Partner focused on Decision Science at First Round Capital Partners, a seed stage venture fund. Annie’s latest book is Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Quitting has acquired a bad reputation in a culture of grit and hustle, but even the most successful people quit things they’re working on frequently, so what is stopping you from quitting a failing project or relationship, and what questions can you ask yourself and others to determine when the right time to quit is?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is knowing to quit just as important as grit and determination? How do you know when to quit? – 14:58 Why do many of us quit things too late and waste valuable time that we could be spending on the next success? What are some great examples of people making the right decision to quit? Opportunity Cost Neglect – 33:26 What is the blindspot that keeps us from quitting at the right time? What happened to the game Glitch before Slack was created? How do you break the Sunk Cost Neglect cycle so you stop wasting your time? Other Biases and Blindspots – 44:30 What is Escalation of Commitment? What is the Status Quo Bias? What is the Omission Comission Bias? The Questions to Determine When You Need to Quit – 1:01:20 After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!A Word From Our Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away by Annie Duke Annie Duke’s website Alliance for Decision Education After School All Stars Renew Democracy Initiative Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about? What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start? Social Fitness – 13:01 What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness? The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18 What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life? What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age? How do you make new friends? – 37:11 What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone? How to stop feeling lonely? How do you start a conversation with a coworker? What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00 How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship? The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again.A Word From Our SponsorsAre you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Harvard Study of Adult Development website The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness Dr. Robert Waldinger’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover money and love with Abby Davisson. Abby is a social innovation leader and career development expert, was the president of the Gap Foundation at Gap Inc and a senior leader on the Environmental, Social & Governance team, and is the co-author of Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions. Making big decisions in relationships can be intimidating, so what frameworks and strategies can you use to simplify the decision making process and how should you handle conversations around money and having kids with your partner?What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What proven framework should you use to approach major decisions about money and love in relationships? Thinking about Consequences of Making Big Decisions – 19:06 How should you think about the consequences of decision making? How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? Relationship Compatibility – 29:26 How can you find out if you are compatible with your partner in the long term? How do you approach the conversation of having kids with someone you just married? Divorce and Money – 48:30 How should you approach the conversation around money when you’re thinking about getting married? Making major decisions about relationships can be daunting, but if you break it down with a framework and consider all of the potential consequences with regular communication, it becomes much easier. Money is a major factor to consider when getting married because it can cause a lot of arguments and stress in a relationship, to the point that it is one of the most common reasons people state when getting divorced. If you approach these conversations openly and honestly with your partner, you will be able to make the best decision for both of you.Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.But there’s something you can do about it.After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are referrals in our personal networks.We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/scDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.Additional Sponsors:Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charmHello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charmNextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charmResources from this Episode Abby Davisson’s website Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices