Pulitzer prize-winning author Charles Duhigg discusses supercommunicators and the secret language of connection. Learn how to make conversations better instantly, skip small talk, recognize social identities, and manage difficult conversations effectively. Discover the impact of technology on communication skills and the importance of nurturing close relationships in the digital age.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Genesis of Supercommunicators
Charles Duhigg's book, "The Power of Habit," prompted questions about influencing others' habits.
A personal anecdote about miscommunication with his wife further fueled his research on communication.
insights INSIGHT
Supercommunicator Skills
Supercommunicators excel at listening, asking questions, and matching conversational styles.
These skills foster connections and aren't innate talents, but learnable abilities.
insights INSIGHT
Matching vs. Mimicry
Mimicry in conversation is natural, but true connection requires matching.
Matching involves engaging in the same type of conversation, be it practical, emotional, or social, to foster authenticity.
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In today’s episode, we tackle supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, writer for The New Yorker magazine, and the author of two New York Times bestsellers, The Power of Habit, and his second book, Smarter Faster Better. His latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is available February 20, 2024.
We discuss how supercommunicators use 3 types of conversation to their advantage. Charles shares a 3 second preparation routine you can use instantly to make your conversations better. How to skip small talk and take conversation deeper to create connection with anyone, and why recognizing social identities can help you manage difficult conversations effectively.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
How do you recognize a supercommunicator in your life, and what impact do they have on your personal development and well-being?
What do supercommunicators do so well that most people suck at?
The thin line between authentic conversation and interrogation – 16:29
What simple mindset shift can you make to turn boring conversations into fulfilling conversations that engage the other person and make them look forward to talking to you?
Social media gets toxic because most people don’t know these rules – 24:13
Why are there rules for communicating through different forms of technology and how do those rules cause social media to be so toxic?
If you want lifelong happiness, what do you need to have by age 45 and 65?
The little known technique that makes hard conversations easy – 34:28
What are the 3 types of conversations and how do you know which type you’re having with someone so there’s no disconnect?
How do you build out the skill set to be more comfortable expressing vulnerability?
Quick guide to prepare you for any conversation – 47:43
What are practical ways to mentally prepare for emotional and social discussions, even if you're not accustomed to expressing vulnerability?
The Art of Charm 