Becoming Me

Episode 134 Join me in this candid episode as I engage in a heartfelt conversation with trauma-informed and somatic-trained Catholic spiritual guide Edwina Yeow, founder of Anam Cara Ministries (Singapore). We delve into the deep connection between trauma, spirituality, and our relationship with God. Edwina, a seasoned Catholic spiritual director with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights on integrating spiritual direction, psychology, and somatic awareness to address trauma’s impact on our relationship with God. We discuss the importance of involving the body in spiritual healing and the role trauma plays in shaping our religious scripts. This episode encourages a spirit of curiosity towards healing, self-love, and deeper intimacy with God through a trauma-informed perspective.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.RESOURCESEdwina Yeow's website.Other episodes with Edwina YeowTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTWhich part of this conversation resonated with you the most? What could God be inviting you to ponder with him in your heart about the fears you have of losing his love for you?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 133 In this episode, I share my personal experience with spiritual midlife crisis.I share about the difficult and transformative phases of my journey, including moments of doubt, deep introspection, and the deconstruction of my previously held beliefs and practices. Through this challenging journey, I discovered crucial resources that guided me to understand the stages of faith development and the significance of the 'Wall', a pivotal point in one's spiritual midlife. I emphasise the importance of integrating one's emotional and spiritual aspects and the crucial role of seeking support through spiritual direction and psychotherapy. Resource:The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. GuelichFalling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard RohrWhen the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions by Sue Monk KiddWatch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERSSee episode page for more details.TRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHow have you experienced God's grace in moments of difficulty? In what ways do you need to trust that His grace is sufficient for your current challenges? Are there moments when you feel like you can’t keep going? How can you show yourself compassion during these times, knowing that it’s normal to feel this way? Remind yourself of God's compassion when you're feeling discouraged and trust in God, even when others don’t fully grasp what you’re going through.Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 132 In this episode, I introduce and share reflections from “The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith," by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich. This remarkable resource opened my eyes to the stages of faith development, reinforcing the crucial role of experiential learning and integrating emotional healing with spiritual growth. I share insights from each of the six stages described in the book, weaving in reflections on my own progression and the introspective challenges encountered, especially the profound impact of confronting 'The Wall' in Stage 4. My aim is to offer solace by sharing my story and insights on navigating the complex landscapes of faith, hoping it will resonate with others on their own spiritual journeys, encouraging them towards embracing their path with understanding and compassion.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:22) - Introduction(00:00:59) - Resource Introduction(00:02:05) - Discovering "The Critical Journey"(00:05:05) - Stages of Faith Development(00:13:50) - Stage 1: Recogition of God(00:15:09) - Stage 2: Life of Discpleship(00:17:34) - Stage 3: The Productive Life(00:22:13) - Stage 4: The Journey Inward(00:35:06) - Stage 5: The Journey Outward(00:38:30) - Stage 6: Life of Love(00:48:13) - Final Thoughts(00:49:24) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTReflect on your own journey towards healing and integration. How has your awareness evolved over time? Consider how your ability to serve others has changed. Who are you best able to support now compared to the past? Recall moments when you felt truly seen and understood in your struggles. What made those moments significant?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 131In this episode, I share my personal journey from having a disembodied faith, which was largely intellectual and disconnected from my emotional and physical experiences, to developing an embodied faith that integrates my beliefs with all aspects of my life. I delve into what disembodied faith means, why many of us experience faith this way, and the transformative process towards embodying our faith. Through my own story of interior healing and integration, I highlight three key signs that indicate a shift towards a more incarnate, lived faith, emphasising the importance of embracing the messiness and challenges of this journey. The goal is to offer hope and understanding for those on the path to a more holistic and authentic experience of faith.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00:25) - Introduction(00:03:52) - What is "Disembodied Faith"?(00:10:47) - Why is our Faith Disembodied?(00:15:27) - Three Signs of Disembodied Faith(00:15:36) - Preoccupation with Understanding the Content of our Faith(00:17:13) - Discrepancies Start to Bother Us(00:19:39) - We are more Drawn to People in Touch with their Humanity(00:21:06) - You can't Force on Yourself the "Right Thing"(00:24:09) - Befriending our Emotions(00:27:31) - Not being Afraid of Criticism(00:30:42) - Secure in Love(00:40:00) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTDo you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 130In this episode, I share my deep personal reflections on what it means to lay down my life in alignment with Christ, but without feeling lesser for it. Growing up in an enmeshed family system with rigid expectations of selflessness, ingrained through my Catholic upbringing, I faced challenges in understanding genuine self-sacrifice. I discuss the subtle yet critical difference between self-abandonment—a state that breeds resentment and diminishes self-worth—and genuine self-gift which is free and joyful, enriching both myself and others. My aim is to guide listeners on a path towards emotional health and authentic self-giving, highlighting the impact on family, faith, and self-perception of our ability to love authentically.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00 Introduction: Reflecting on Self-Sacrifice and Authentic Living00:37 Exploring the Roots: Family, Faith, and Self-Perception01:35 The Struggle with Self-Abandonment and Seeking Approval04:45 Discovering the Difference: Self-Abandonment vs. Self-Gift07:38 The Journey Towards Emotional Health and Authentic Self-Gift11:15 Understanding Self-Abandonment: Signs and Consequences19:36 Embracing Self-Gift: The Path to Freedom and Joy28:44 Conclusion: The Power of Authentic Self-Gift and HealingTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTDo you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 129In this episode, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Catholic author and trauma therapist Brya Hanan. We delve into the complexities of trauma, particularly how it intersects with our faith journey. We explore how experiencing a resistance to going to church and attending mass can be a trauma response, and the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing these issues. This conversation aims to open up a space for greater empathy and curiosity about the unseen struggles of others, offering hope and guidance for those grappling with trauma in their spiritual lives.GUEST PROFILE: BRYA HANAN LMFTWatch this recording on YouTube.RESOURCES ON SPIRITUAL TRAUMATrauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD.The Lord Is My Shepherd: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love by KJ RamseyThe Holy/Hurt Podcast by Dr. Hillary L McBrideFollow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:22) - Introduction(00:00:51) - Special Guest: Brya Hanan, Catholic Trauma Therapist(00:01:46) - Personal Journey of Faith and Trauma(00:03:24) - Understanding Trauma Responses(00:05:31) - Reconnecting with Faith(00:06:18) - The Impact of Trauma in a Church Setting(00:08:26) - What Inner Child Healing Can Do(00:11:43) - Integrating Therapy and Faith(00:15:39) - Being Trauma-Informed(00:24:20) - Trauma and Religious Practices(00:33:45) - Understanding Our Bodies(00:34:09) - Can I Will Myself? Is it all in my Mind?(00:36:00) - The Impact of Trauma Responses(00:43:49) - What goes on Behind the Scenes with Trauma(00:47:22) - Integrating Faith and Holistic Healing(00:51:47) - Useful Resources(00:54:38) - Final ThoughtsTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHave you been struggling with going to mass or with something similar? Do you notice how your body feels and reacts? This could be an impact of trauma. Has there anything else in this episode that speaks to you?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 128    In this final episode of the season, I share how my understanding of faithfulness has evolved as I healed. Initially, my understanding of faithfulness was deeply rooted in a binary, performance-based perspective, influenced by my cultural and religious upbringing. I viewed it as a straightforward measure of adherence to a set of religious practices and moral standards, essentially a checklist that delineated a clear boundary between being faithful and unfaithful. This perspective was challenged and eventually transformed through a journey of interior healing and unlearning, prompted by encounters with others who shared their struggles and a pivotal personal retreat that revealed the inadequacy of my foundational beliefs about faithfulness. I came to realise that faithfulness is not about meeting a predefined set of criteria perfectly but about authentic engagement with God's love and grace amidst our imperfections. This new understanding of faithfulness as dynamic, multi-layered, and diverse in expression, deeply influenced by personal context and inner disposition, has significantly altered how I perceive myself and others, fostering a more compassionate and nuanced view of our collective striving towards faithfulness. Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:17) - Introduction(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey(00:43:20) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHave you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 127    In this podcast episode, I open up about a deeply personal and often stigmatised issue - my struggle with compulsions and addictions. I discuss how these issues are not only challenging to confront but are also shrouded in shame and secrecy, particularly when they deal with substance abuse or sex. Drawing from my experiences, I reflect on the societal pressure to maintain an image of responsibility and control, and how even socially acceptable compulsions, like binge-watching TV or overworking, can trigger feelings of shame. I share the profound impact that self-criticism and a lack of compassion have had on my journey, emphasising the pivotal role of interior integration in my healing process. Through exploring concepts like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the importance of understanding the underlying trauma behind compulsive behaviors, I advocate for a compassionate approach to oneself. The episode highlights my transformation towards self-love, emphasising that divine love and self-compassion are crucial for overcoming compulsions and addictions and finding wholeness.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:21) - Introduction(00:01:36) - The Shame of Compulsions and Addictions(00:02:49) - Personal Struggles and Shame(00:06:05) - The Cycle of Addiction and Repentance(00:11:34) - Experiencing God's Unconditional Love(00:15:41) - The Role of Self-Compassion(00:28:16) - Internal Family Systems (IFS)(00:29:07) - 1. Managers(00:29:50) - 2. Exiles(00:30:48) - 3. Firefighters(00:37:15) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHave you ever found yourself in similar patterns of compulsion? Are you able to recognise the root of these addictions and compulsions? Think about some of the ways you have been using certain compulsions and habits to escape unpleasantness in your life. Is there a better way?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 126    In this episode, I delve into a poignant question raised during a webinar Q&A session about whether connecting with oneself inevitably enhances our connections with others, especially when expressing our true selves might not be warmly accepted by everyone. I unravel the complexities surrounding authentic connections, emphasising the significance of embracing our true selves for genuine interactions and personal growth. I reflect on personal experiences and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships. I explore the indicators of growth on this journey, highlighting the fruits of the Holy Spirit as markers of deep, authentic self-connection and its profound impact on our relationships. This episode aims to broaden our understanding of how true self-connection can foster more meaningful and authentic relationships, despite the challenges that may arise.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:00) - Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections(00:00:21) - Introduction(00:00:58) - Unveiling the True Self(00:02:33) - Addressing a Vital Question: Authenticity and Connection(00:05:25) - Exploring the Nuances of Authentic Connections(00:09:17) - The Challenge of Being True to Oneself(00:16:17) - Authenticity in Relationships(00:23:37) - Indicators of Growth in the Interior Journey(00:23:59) - Fruits of the Holy Spirit(00:33:25) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHow has this episode resonated with you? Do you struggle with authenticity and living out your true self? What are some factors that make it challenging? Think about the relationships and connections in your life. Do you think they are authentic?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 125    In this episode of our current series, I delve into the topic of whether choosing a therapist or spiritual director of the same faith, specifically Christian or Catholic, is crucial for one's journey towards interior integration. How important is a therapist’s faith in their effectiveness for our interior journey and how much difference would having a Christian/Catholic therapist make vs one who doesn’t share our faith?In this video I unpack the subconscious assumptions we have about Christian/Catholic therapists and systematically explain why a therapist’s professional competence and ability to offer a safe, judgment-free space for healing is much more important than their professed faith in helping us in our interior integration journey. Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:00) - Introduction(00:00:48) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist(00:02:03) - Choosing a Catholic / Christian Therapist(00:03:38) - The Significance of a Therapist's Faith(00:13:33) - Why Professional Competence Outweighs Faith in Therapy(00:19:23) - Understanding What 'Catholic Therapist' Really Means(00:26:36) - The Impact of Professional Competence and Integrity(00:29:43) - Navigating Therapy with Faith and Emotional Healing(00:31:44) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist(00:32:26) - Personal Responsibility in Therapy and Integration(00:43:56) - The Role of a Therapist's Faith(00:57:06) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTAfter listening to my sharing, how do you feel? Do you still think that a counsellor or therapist of the same faith is important? Why do you feel this way? If you have been for counselling or therapy, what was your experience like? Was it a safe space for you? If you're looking to start your counselling journey, what do you look for in a counsellor or therapist?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.