How To Be a Terrible Daughter

This week we are wading into the murky, sparkling, and occasionally shark infested waters of romantic relationships. You know, the ones everyone insists are supposed to feel like a cozy partnership except yours somehow keeps echoing the greatest hits of your childhood. In this episode we talk about why your adult dating patterns are not accidental, they are often emotional reruns of the relationship you had with your parents. And yes, we apologize in advance. We'll get into the relationship red flags, tell-tale signs that you are in a dynamic that is less partnership and more "emotional escape room." We also name the quieter red flags, the ones that do not scream but slowly pull you back into old patterns before you even realize you have crossed the line. We look at how real healing often means rejecting the traditional relationship roles we were handed, the ones that ask you to perform smallness, swallow needs, and call it love. We talk about the difference between a partner who gets curious and a partner who gets defensive, and why that single distinction can tell you almost everything you need to know about the health of the relationship. And because no episode would be complete without a little maternal chaos bingo, we share more of our Crazy Mom-Offs. Including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner is not paranoia, it is strategy. It's boundary setting as a survival sport. We round things out with the tools that helped us through a very intense week, including one simple technique that interrupted the anxiety loop before it could spiral into an Olympics level mental gymnastics routine. If you have ever wondered why relationships feel like the final exam for a class you never attended, this one is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● Some of the ways in which the romantic patterns you repeat as an adult are echoes of the childhood relationship you had with your parents [2:51 ● How healing from trauma often requires rejecting traditional, patriarchal relationship roles that are inherently rooted in narcissistic power dynamics [7:0 ● The "litmus test" for a good partner and the specific questions you can ask yourself to help gain clarity around this [11:57] ● What them displaying curiosity over defensiveness will tell you about whether the relationship is a healthy one for you [13:26] ● Warning signs and red flag to watch for that will reveal you are in an unhealthy relationship dynamic [22:34] ● Our thoughts on romantic love being used as a replacement for women's dreams [37:47] ● More of our "Crazy Mom-Offs", including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner and your relationship is a critical strategy for protection and survival [40:39] ● The tools we each used during this challenging week and one in particular that was effective in stopping the "anxiety loop" from repeating [28:16] Links & Resources: Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology

In this episode, we wade into the wild, destabilizing landscape of apology and repair, where narcissistic "I'm sorrys" are really emotional trapdoors painted to look like compassion, and healthy accountability actually feels like oxygen. Megan and Elizabeth pull apart the difference between a conversation that brings clarity and one that leaves you wondering if you hallucinated the entire conflict. Along the way, they unpack the subtle ways a narcissistic parent can flip the script, distort the narrative, or imply that your hurt is evidence of your own instability, rather than a completely normal reaction to emotional impact. We also explore what genuine repair looks like in a secure relationship, the kind built on curiosity instead of defensiveness and connection instead of theatrics. There is talk of intent and impact, of what your body knows before your brain catches up, and of how childhood emotional unsafety imprints itself as a physiological threat. And then, because life with a narcissistic parent never stops serving chaos, two new Crazy Mom-Off entries arrive (including one listener submitted story!) to remind you that even the most jaw-droppingly unhinged stories can still be met with humor, solidarity, and the kind of deadpan side-eye reserved for generational chaos. To close things out, we offer a few grounding tools for anyone navigating the emotional ricochet of old patterns. Think intentional space for processing and one surprisingly effective strategy for letting go of the anger that hits you after the fact. If you've ever walked away from a "repair" feeling more confused than when you started, this one is your homecoming. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: Real-life examples of what narcissistic apology and repair looks like, contrasted with healthy, securely attached relationship dynamics [2:19] Why phrases like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or overly dramatic responses are not genuine apologies but rather defensive tactics [5:01] Watch out! How narcissistic parents use gaslighting and projection to convince you that expressing hurt is a sign of your own mental illness or distorted thinking [8:22] Understanding that emotionally unsafe situations for a child are neurologically perceived as the same as physically life-threatening danger [20:12] How healthy repair involves curiosity, active listening, and the willingness to prioritize the relationship over proving one's own point of view [24:25] The key difference between intent and impact in a conversation and why this is so important to be aware of [28:03] What the final feeling after a healthy repair will, and won't, be [32:50] Two more Crazy Mom-Offs that will knock your socks off, including a "fishy" story and something that will have you looking at birthday cake in a completely different way [36:38] Our helpful tools for the week: we cover the need to carve out intentional time for therapy and provide a helpful strategy for releasing anger after the triggering situation has occurred [55:55] Links & Resources: Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 022: No Contact II: The Quiet Place

So you finally did it. You went no contact. You broke out of the emotional prison your narcissist built, and now you are standing in the sunlight, blinking like a hostage released from a basement full of family heirlooms and gaslighting. In this episode, we talk about what happens next. The emotional hangover, the logistical chaos, the sudden silence that feels both terrifying and euphoric. We get honest about the reality of going no contact, how no one does it lightly, and how keeping that boundary takes every ounce of strength you have. Elizabeth shares what surprised them most after cutting contact, including how much energy it took just to hold the line when the narcissist tried to creep back in through cracks in the wall. We also talk about the importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer ready for those Flying Monkeys who come sniffing around with "concern" and subtle guilt trips. Then we explore how trauma can turn everyday life into a minefield, why birthdays, holidays, and even old family photos can suddenly feel radioactive, and how it is okay to opt out of the traditions that hurt more than they heal. We also dig into the process of rebuilding your identity after no contact. When you have spent a lifetime molding yourself to survive someone else's moods, figuring out what you actually like can feel both thrilling and confusing. But it is the good kind of confusion, the kind that comes with freedom. Elizabeth brings this week's Crazy Mom-Off featuring whispering hauntings from the narcissist beyond, plus a real-time tool for grounding when your nervous system starts hosting a family reunion you never agreed to. Megan shares a confusing story she is still unpacking and a trick she has been using to quiet her inner critic, especially the one that tries to ruin reading time. We close with the reminder that yes, breaking family barriers can feel like being cut by glass, but it is still better than being slowly poisoned for years. Because no contact is not the end of your story, it is the part where you finally start living your own. Thank you for joining us here for a brand-new season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● What you can do to start managing the emotional and logistical aftermath of going no contact with the narcissist and finally escape from the prison they've created for you [3:19] ● Elizabeth's inner experience after going no contact and what surprised them the most after doing it [9:15] ● The importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer to protect yourself from gaslighting and guilt when dealing with those pesky "flying monkeys" [14:29] ● What really happens when trauma weaponizes normal life and why holidays, birthdays and even childhood memories can become terrifying triggers [23:11] ● How to approach rebuilding from scratch after no contact by intentionally creating space and time to discover your true self and preferences [25:05] ● The reason why breaking family barriers can feel like "being cut by glass" [spoiler alert: it's much better than being poisoned for years] [42:30] ● Elizabeth's Crazy Mom Off story featuring haunting whispers from a narcissist, and a demonstration of a real-time tool that helps them cope and thrive [44:44] ● A confusing story Megan is still processing and a tool she's been using to overcome her inner critic while reading books [51:38] Links & Resources: Get Merch – Etsy Shop Show is NOW OPEN! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! Speak No Evil (2024 Remake) and Speak No Evil (Original) Kamala Harris's Interview (on Breaking Glass Ceilings) Martha Wells (Author)

Welcome back! It's time to hate your parents with us again! This week, we're talking about how to take care of yourself while listening to hard things, like this podcast. Because when your childhood featured emotional dodgeball as a family sport, hearing about narcissistic dynamics can light up all the old circuitry. We share the ways we each stay grounded while recording and listening, so you don't accidentally astral-project halfway through an episode. Think of it as nervous system hygiene for Terrible Daughters: practical, slightly feral ways to get back into your body when the trauma stories start hitting a little too close to home. We also revisit Flying Monkeys, those eager little minions who help narcissists do their dirty work while pretending to be Switzerland.Then we look at what real repair and reconciliation look like in healthy relationships, versus the kind of "apologies" that come gift-wrapped in gaslighting and plausible deniability. We're also launching our new Etsy shop, where you can grab official Terrible Daughter merch, support the show, and spot fellow survivors in the wild like some kind of emotionally literate bat signal. And because the universe loves symmetry, we close with our first Crazy Mom-Off of the season. It features a literal scarlet letter, a masterclass in chaos, and just enough gallows humor to keep us from screaming into the void. We wrap up with tools for finding a shred of peace in the wreckage, because listening to hard things is an act of courage, and a little dark humor helps the medicine go down. Thank you for joining us here for a brand-new season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us! What We Cover In This Episode: ● How to practice self-care and establish a safe container for listening to triggering media [6:14] ● Tips we want to give you for consuming this podcast and our content, and specific things we each do to get back into our bodies when feeling triggered or dissociated [8:45 ● A reminder on what a Flying Monkey is, where the term comes from how narcissists use them to carry out their "dirty work" while maintaining plausible deniability [16:46] ● What true repair and reconciliation looks like in a healthy relationship, and how this contrasts with a narcissist's apology that never leads to validation or change [24:26] ● Our thoughts on actively grieving the person you would have been had you not endured childhood abuse [25:42 ● An exciting update on our brand-new Etsy store and how you can get branded merchandise and carry the badge of "being the villain" proudly [31:31] ● Our first "Crazy Mom-Off" of the new season: when Elizabeth's mother branded someone with the "Scarlett Letter" and how Megan's used constant change to destabilize her life growing up [35:16] A rundown of tools we've discovered to get through our week with more peace and grace [50:09] Links & Resources: Get Merch – Etsy Shop Show is NOW OPEN! Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok Season 3 Trailer (in case you missed it)! 006: Grief: It's Not Just for the Dead Anymore! 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! 011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide 018: Narcissist Escape Room—Just Kidding, You're Stuck Wayward (Netflix) The Sopranos Jojo Rabbit (2019) Ted Lasso Flying Monkeys Attack Scene, Wizard of Oz (YouTube) The Scarlett Letter (Nathanial Hawthorne book) Westland School

Guess who's back from the grave? Not our narcissistic mothers — they're still gloriously, blessedly dead, and we're thriving in their absence. It's us! Megan and Elizabeth, your favorite terrible daughters. Life rudely got in the way of recording, but we've clawed our way out of the chaos to drop this little trailer and let you know that season three is actually happening. Coming soon: episodes about what it looks like to finally be treated as a person and not an object, how to clap back at your inner critic and their flying monkey entourage, what "repair" actually looks like (spoiler: nothing like the narc's bargain-bin version), and the oddly complicated grief that shows up when your narcissistic parent dies. We'll also be diving into the "good parent" messages we never got, and grieving the alternate selves we could have been. Basically, it's a lot like group therapy — except in between the healing, we also make time to roast yer mom. Buckle up, terrible daughters, terrible sons, and terrible offspring of all genders: season three is coming.

This week, we're tackling one of the most unsettling and deeply confusing questions many of us face: Was it abuse? And let's be honest—if that question keeps showing up like 3 raccoons in a trench coat whispering cryptic messages outside your window at 2 a.m., you might want to investigate. In this episode, we dig into why psychological and emotional abuse are so much harder to recognize than physical or sexual abuse—and why so many of us spend years trying to convince ourselves it wasn't "that bad." Narcissistic family systems are masters at looking shiny on the outside while quietly dismantling your sense of reality. Honestly, it's cult behavior—but with better potlucks and passive-aggressive throw pillows. We explore how the most abusive part is often the pattern, not the individual incidents. That chronic, low-grade cruelty, the constant invalidation, the feeling that love only comes when you abandon your own needs? Yeah, that. We share tools to help you recognize these dynamics—including what to notice, how to start documenting patterns, and why fear itself can be a flashing neon sign that something is seriously off. Plus, we answer a surprisingly common question: What if I'm the narcissist? (Short answer: if you're self-aware enough to ask, you're probably not the one we're worried about.) Of course, we still find time for a Mini Crazy Mom Off—this one includes listener nightmares and a brief but unsettling cameo by Hannibal Lecter. We also talk about how movement helped us get through the week—because sometimes a walk around the block is less about getting your steps in and more about preventing a full existential spiral in the canned goods aisle. If you've ever wondered whether your experience "counts," this episode says: yes, it does. And you're not alone in wondering. Thank you for listening to season two of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get the season 3 episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: The tremendous difficulty in recognizing psychological and emotional abuse compared to physical or sexual abuse [1:33] How narcissistic family dynamics compare to being in a cult and the internal conflict caused by the contrast between internal experiences and external perceptions of a "perfect" family [5:43] Practical tools we recommend for recognizing abuse and the importance of documenting experiences and recognizing patterns of abuse [11:11] The significance of emotional cues, particularly fear, as indicators of abuse [14:01] How to know if you are being a victim, or if you are displaying narcissistic behaviors yourself [27:53] Our "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" – how Elizabeth's mother is even giving nightmares to our listeners and a cameo by Hannibal Lector [36:55] How incorporating movement into our daily routines helped both of us through this week [43:12] Links & Resources: Red Dragon by Thomas Harris Hannibal (TV Series) Monk and Robot Series by Becky Chambers The Good Place & Ted Lasso (TV Shows)

Anger. The emotion we were taught to fear, suppress, or avoid entirely—especially if we grew up under the reign of a narcissist. In this episode, we rip up the old rulebook on anger and talk about why it's actually one of the most sacred, transformative forces we have. Turns out, anger isn't the enemy—it's a signal, a boundary, a fire that can be channeled into power instead of destruction. But when you're raised by a narcissist, anger isn't just discouraged—it's dangerous. We explore how narcissistic parents manipulate anger to maintain control, the twisted triumph they feel when they break their children emotionally, and why asserting your needs can instantly turn you into "the selfish one." Elizabeth shares how embracing anger as fire—something sacred and elemental—helped them reclaim personal agency after years of emotional erasure. Meanwhile, Megan unpacks a pivotal realization: anger isn't something to fear, but a necessary part of healing. We also take a look at the relentless nature of narcissistic rage versus the healthy, human expression of anger (hint: one of these is terrifying and the other is actually useful). Plus, we swap some Mini Crazy Mom Offs—this time with a laundry-related theme, because of course our mothers found a way to make even clean clothes traumatic. Finally, we wrap up with the tools we used this week that reminded us of the importance of creativity, self-expression, and creating a space that actually feels safe. Because if we weren't nurtured growing up, you bet we're going to learn how to nurture ourselves now. We're so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: How anger can actually be a healthy signal of unmet needs and violated boundaries and why this topic is so relevant for this podcast [4:04] The disturbing "triumph" felt by narcissistic parents when they emotionally break their children and the core power dynamic it highlights [8:46] A look at the distorted perception of anger in narcissistic households and the relentless, destructive rage versus healthy anger expression [20:26] A powerful analogy that illustrates the constant fear of being emotionally "disappeared" or abandoned by a narcissistic parent [26:26] How Elizabeth connects with the raw, transformative power of anger, symbolized by fire, as a tool for healing and reclaiming personal agency after narcissistic abuse [44:36] Megan's pivotal epiphany about anger as the most sacred emotion and the role it has in pushing us forward [49:10] Our "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" - laundry-themed edition [57:51] The tools we used this week that demonstrate the importance of using our creativity and creating a safe and nourishing environment in which to live in [65:59] Links & Resources: 017: Forgiveness: Terms and Conditions Apply A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton Twilight Zone "It's a Good Life" Episode The Police – Every Breath You Take (Official Movie Video) Frozen (2013) IMDb Mommie Dearest (1981) IMDb CapCut

Not everyone has the luxury of going no-contact with a narcissistic parent, and if that's your situation, congratulations—you've unlocked the expert-level difficulty setting on f*ed up family dynamics. In this episode, we break down why no-contact isn't always an option (hint: the whole "just cut them out of your life" advice isn't as simple as it sounds). Whether it's family obligations, financial ties, or just the logistical nightmare of trying to dodge them at every holiday, we get it. The good news? There are strategies to help you survive. We cover practical ways to manage interactions, from setting boundaries that actually work to using mental escape hatches when you're stuck at a family function. We also share a guided visualization technique that can help you keep your cool when the narcissist is in full performance mode. Plus, we've got another round of "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" (because apparently, there's no limit to the absurdity) and an exciting update about podcast merch that you'll soon be able to get your hands on. As always, we wrap things up with our weekly tools—this time, it's about finding music that speaks to both the toddler and the angsty teen inside us. Because honestly, sometimes the only way to get through family drama is by blasting a song that makes you feel like you just stormed out of your childhood bedroom. If you're stuck navigating a relationship with a narcissist, we're here with you. Let's figure it out together. We're so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: The specific challenges faced by those who can't go no-contact with narcissistic family members [1:47] Some of the common reasons why no contact may not be an option [3:24] Practical tips that can help you survive difficult situations with the narcissist in your life [10:16] A practical visualization exercise you can use to keep your sanity at the next family function you attend [15:49] What to keep in mind in order to steer the conversation with the narcissist when it just can't be avoided [23:35] More unbelievable "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" from our past and an exciting update about podcast merchandise that you'll soon be able to purchase [40:59] The weekly tools that made our life easier, including listening to music that connects with both the toddler and the teenager sides of us [45:49] Links & Resources: 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! 011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide IBP Breath work video (Integrative Body Psychotherapy) Relax Calm Focus Way to the Well: A Trance Journey for Empowerment Sesame Street: Will.i.am Sings "What I Am" Lilith Fair

Forgiveness isn't always as simple as it seems, especially for survivors of narcissistic abuse. The hosts explore the pressure to forgive before fully healing and share their personal struggles with this topic. They highlight the crucial difference between acceptance and forgiveness, stressing that self-forgiveness is essential. Insightful anecdotes reveal why some actions are truly unforgivable. The conversation also touches on emotional boundaries, the imbalance in relationships, and the journey to find calm amidst chaos. A humorous 'Mini Crazy Mom Off' illustrates the challenges of accountability in toxic dynamics.

In this episode, we wade through the debris of self-esteem left in the wake of growing up with narcissistic parents. It's not a pretty picture. From the relentless cycle of love bombing to the casual demolition of what little self-worth we managed to scrape together, we unpack the chaotic dynamics that leave us questioning our value. It's not just the mixed signals, either—narcissists thrive on keeping their supply unstable, ensuring those around them feel isolated and off-kilter. Sound familiar? You're in good company. We also tackle the unique social stigma that comes with narcissistic mothers—because apparently, calling out bad parenting is still a no-go in polite society. But it's not all heavy-hearted realizations. Elizabeth shares how discovering witchcraft gave their self-esteem a much-needed boost, while Megan recounts the bond with a childhood pet that became a lifeline of unconditional love. And, of course, we can't forget the "Mini Crazy Mom Offs," where we swap gut-wrenching stories of the times our mothers managed to make even the most precious moments a dumpster fire. As always, we wrap up with a dose of weekly grounding and empowerment tools. Elizabeth shares a strategy for reconnecting to the present moment, while Megan reflects on embracing both her inner villain and princess—because hey, why not claim the whole damn castle? Whether you're here for the camaraderie, the coping strategies, or just to laugh so you don't cry, welcome to the club. We're so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: Why a lack of self-esteem is commonly a major issue faced by those of us raised by narcissists [6:30] The role that the constant cycle of love bombing and derision by the narcissist plays in this erosion of self-esteem [10:09] The difference in growing up with a narcissist versus having a narcissist as a partner later in life [14:24] A look at the concept of "narcissistic supply" and how the narcissist thrives by having people around them who are unstable and feel isolated [15:57] A social taboo that exists with narcissistic mothers who are horrible to their children [21:38] How finding "The Craft" took Elizabeth's became a total game-changer for Elizabeth's self-esteem [37:02] The bond Megan formed with a pet that allowed her to feel safe and loved growing up [41:29] Our "Mini Crazy Mom Offs" and heartbreaking stories of our mothers destroying what was precious to us [45:07] What Elizabeth did this week to ground themselves and how Megan embraced being both the "villain" and the "princess" in our weekly tools segment [59:01] Links & Resources: Grimms' Fairy Tales Grounding Tools Mentioned: https://sharonknight.bandcamp.com/track/take-your-spirit-down http://www.campusactivism.org/server-new/uploads/groundcenter.html