Art Creativity & Wellbeing

Hey friends! I hope everyone you love is doing okay. And if you're going a little stir crazy, I hope I can help! I've been working hard behind the scenes to put together a Virtual Summit, bringing you the best ideas, from experts in their fields, to help you through this double pandemic – of Covid 19, and Fear. So! Each Monday and Wednesday at OkayCon.com during April 2020 I'm releasing presentations by experts in: – Children's behavior – Home and family security – Helping children through this time – How to find a job if you've been laid off – and lots more! Each Monday and Wednesday I'm posting the presentation at OkayCon.com, and simulcasting in YouTube and Facebook. And each Monday and Wednesday evening at 8 PM EST we're having a watch party in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group – click here to join our group (and use that link to invite anyone you think needs a boost!) Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to get notified automagically about the presentation for that day, and the watch party for that night! I know this is a scary time. It's scary for me too! But we will get through this together. I'm so grateful for you, and I am hopeful that I can bring you some help and support right now. Cheers and I'll see you each Monday and Wednesday (starting tomorrow!) in April for OkayCon 2020 Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

During our Ninja Parenting Community live members only call last week, many members expressed frustration with all the list of activities coming at us, but the lists are often in a somewhat disorganized fashion. So I wanted to give you a list, organized by how much time/input required by us parents! Read the complete list at: weturnedoutokay.com/323 Announcing OkayCon, We Turned Out Okay's FREE virtual summit! All the first week of April 2020, and into the second week of April 2020 (and possibly beyond : ) I am bringing you, completely free, presentations by people with answers you need right now: – How to keep your family and home safe and secure – How to foster the coping skills necessary to get through all this – How to stock up and what to cook right now – How to occupy the hours that you are stuck at home with your kiddo – And lots more! Go to okaycon.com for details (and also to watch starting next week!) You are not alone. If you've got questions or just feel like you cannot go on, email me and we can talk about it (I share my email address in today's episode)! Join my Weekly Parenting Newsletter group for support, good information, and ideas for staying sane right now: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Get the extra support and encouragement you need right now by joining our private coaching community, the Ninja Parenting Community – at the Friends & Family rate, $1 for your whole first month - at weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC Also, lots of hugs coming your way for me! We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

So, I say I'm going to drop an F bomb in the beginning segment of this episode, but we decided to edit it out, so no worries about earmuffs :-) Re coronavirus: I had an anxiety attack this morning, before I was even fully awake. To help you in case you are experiencing heightened anxiety right now as well, I start off today’s show with audio from a video series I’m doing on how to feel better during this time of fear, worry, and coronavirus threats. The video has its own post, with a cheat sheet of the ways I’m finding to alleviate the anxieties, available at https://weturnedoutokay.com/cv2 Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to get these videos automagically delivered right into your inbox. We will get through this together 💕 ———————- Re the new ninja tactic: I am SO excited to share this with you, a new ninja tactic that is absolutely great for regulating screen time! Do you struggle with getting your kids to stop watching TV, or the tablet, or stop using your (or their) phone? This is the show for you. I lay out exactly what words to say, to make this work – to get your kids to listen to you and actually control the screen time! Join us : ) Here is the link to this post Links that come up in this episode: – weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, where you can sign up for the newsletters I send out each week! They are extremely useful, like this one about what to do when your child is disrespectful, and plus I love corresponding with you! – The original post by our NPC member, who first brought this ninja tactic to my attention – creatingchampionsforlife.com, the place our NPC member first learned of this tactic – Bonnie and Thomas's video, outlining the tactic – Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book, which contains lots more tools you can use in the stressful moments of parenting to get your kids to do what you want them to do : ) – weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc, where you can become a member of the Ninja Parenting Community (just as this member did) and learn to overcome the challenges that are stopping you from truly enjoy family time Thanks for reading, and listening! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today's guests have written a book, called Screen Schooled, which has had a huge impact on how I think about my teenagers and their educations. I found Matt Miles' and Joe Clement's book so compelling, and so full of great ideas for helping teens navigate the modern technical world, that I knew I wanted their take on young kids and tech. (They are both parents, each raising young children in their families.) I knew I wanted to bring that perspective to you! We discuss: – How 21st-century skills are the same skills that human beings have needed throughout history – What those most important skills are (hint: they are not tapping/swiping/navigating in our devices) – How to incorporate technology into your life and family, for the biggest benefits and least amount of frustration and worry – Matt and Joe's responses to some fantastic We Turned Out Okay Facebook group questions: "Any advice on what is actually helpful for preschoolers when it comes to learning and technology? There are a million apps and games billed as "educational" but what's actually beneficial?" "Often I hear the advice to "talk to your children about what they're watching/playing"… So far the only times I've used this technique is to help them see why a certain game is questionable. I don't otherwise ENJOY talking about the inane stuff they choose to do on their devices, so talking to them about it positively is really hard. What advice do these teachers have?" "Will our children fall behind if they are not introduced to much technology at young ages?" "I'm interested to hear how things have changed during [Matt and Joe's] careers, and how they anticipate things evolving in the future… Since most of us have little kids and it's hard to conceive of the world they'll be living in 10 to 15 years from now." Hope you enjoy this conversation! (Here is the link to this post : ) PS One place where you can get help with your challenges while raising little kids is the online community that I run, NPC. During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I've written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to what to do when you feel like a failure. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

When my husband Ben went grocery shopping this weekend, there were empty shelves instead of many things we normally get. Earlier in the day there had been not one but two fistfights in our local grocery store over supplies! If you're worrying about interruptions in the supply chain, the stock market, and other factors related to (or attributed to, anyway) coronavirus, you are not alone. And right off the bat I want to say: we will get through this together. How we get through this is how we get through any crisis: by not panicking. By staying positive. With LOTS of handwashing. And by helping our family members feel safe. Today I'm sharing ideas for talking with your kids about coronavirus, as well as the best ideas I've learned regarding prevention and containment. I am a child development expert, not a doctor, so I am linking here to several resources that have excellent information on stuff that is out of my purview, such as: Number of cases; who is most likely to get infected; how can you limit your chances of getting coronavirus; and how can you keep kids from getting it, or the flu. Read on for 14 ideas to help your family, watch the video above to round out those ideas (and check the bottom of this post for the bonus podcast episode I'm doing; should be out sometime late in the first week of March 2020) – and most of all take heart. We will get through this, together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Screens are here to stay – which is awesome on the one hand, and completely frightening on the other. Especially when it comes to little kids. It's so hard to know: – what is the right amount of screen time – what is damaging or detrimental – how to come up with guidelines about this in the first place – how to implement those guidelines in the second We discuss all of this today – in fact, we are talking kids and tech all month! Join us as we kick off with a show about the basics: Good guidelines to keep in mind with kids and technology, and also how you can implement those guidelines. Click play to dive in! Here's a cheat sheet for this episode: The guidelines – 1. We all need boredom in our lives. Having digital (or nondigital, for that matter) distractions for every moment when we might feel bored creates people who do not know how to amuse themselves. It even creates people who don't know themselves. So while it might not feel great, making sure that kids have a chance to be bored and need to figure out how to amuse themselves is super important. 2. Less is more. The more time digital devices spend turned over and put away on a high shelf, the better. 3. Don't let tech interfere with human connection and bonding. How to implement the guidelines – 1. Pick your time with care. 2. Put the tech away, for lots of every day. 3. Always, ALWAYS be sure to watch YouTube along with your kids. As kids and media specialist Devorah Heitner says, "there is no safe way for young children to watch YouTube alone." 4. Mind your own tech use as well. Here are the links that come up in today's episode: – The newsletter I did about YouTube, the most dangerous place on the Internet. (And here is where you can sign up to get future newsletters delivered right into your inbox : ) – Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, a great PBS show – Anti-bullying expert Brooks Gibbs invites kids to try and bully him – https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc, the place where you can work closely with me to solve your biggest parenting challenges, feel happy inside, and truly enjoy family time Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.   Thanks for listening and reading! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

What do you do when: – Your six-year-old witnessed a traumatic event, and is so traumatized that he feels he can never be away from your side – Your four-year-old "really misses mommy and daddy" and cannot enjoy his enrichment class – You fear your three-year-old's "declining independence," because she increasingly needs you by her side as she is going potty, getting dressed, and going to sleep at night – Your seven-year-old is afraid to be alone in the upstairs of your house, while you are downstairs – Your 11-year-old is feeling anxious about getting separated while skiing Each of these situations come up in today's Live Case Study… Join us and find out how to handle each! PS - 50% off the annual Ninja Parenting Community rate NPC member BabyBrain worried about her daughter's fear of being alone in any room in their new house – so, she asked for help. And I created an entire course on handling your child's clingy behavior. This course is a drop in the bucket of all the resources available for you there, to help you enjoy family time more. This Leap Year, take the leap – 50% off Annual NPC membership! Jump into the Ninja Parenting Community and start enjoying family life for real! Click here for details, and to join at this amazing rate! The following links come up in today's Case Study: My conversation with Dr. Laura Markham in episode 255 of the We Turned Out Okay podcast, https://weturnedoutokay.com/255 Some fantastic downloads by Dr. Deborah MacNamara, including one about "what kids worry about at different ages" http://macnamara.ca/downloads/ The link where you can learn more about how to work closely with me, solving your biggest parenting challenges to get you feeling happy inside yourself and also enjoying family time: https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc Cheers! And thanks for watching/listening! Karen Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. Website: https://weturnedoutokay.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/weturnedoutokay Helping parents change kids' behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and TRULY enjoy family time : ) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

So, there's a tiny swear, the word bada**, in the break of today's episode… while I'm sharing about last week's hospitalization of one of my sons. (There is also an invitation to you, to join the Ninja Parenting Community at 50% off the standard annual rate! Click here for details : ) – A parenting book about showing up – A new action-adventure podcast for kids ages 8 to 12 – An awesome ninja tactic for handling your child backtalk and disrespect – A manifesto for parents by a beloved author What do these all have in common? They dive into the positive and important beliefs their creators have about raising kids – and being parents – in today's busy and frazzled world. Listen in to this week's episode for lots of parenting news that will help you formulate and live your beliefs! (Here is the link to this episode) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. Past editions have included how to make it so your child wins the parent lottery (even if you did not), and helping when your child is frightened. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome! To listen to today's episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular "play" button. Enjoy the show! Recently an NPC member brought up a hugely important issue, and it sparked a whole line of thinking for me that led us to this video! Here's the issue: "It would be interesting to hear some data/facts on how harmful NOT disciplining your kids can be. So many times we focus on the negative effects of discipline – spanking, timeouts, etc., but what's easy to forget is just how dangerous it is to take a backseat parenting your children." So let's have a parenting-style smackdown: Which is worse, Passive or Dictatorial Parenting? The winner is… Both! The worst parts of passive parenting – the lack of boundaries and having any expectations about our children's behavior – and the worst parts of authoritarian (which here I'm calling dictatorial or autocratic) – exerting control, simply for control's sake – both amount to a kind of neglect. The passive parenting amounts to neglect because it is terrifying for children to not have any boundaries or expectations for good behavior. The authoritarian parenting amounts to neglect because in this style, no thought is given to the child's experience, thinking, or ability to reason. What should we do instead? We should try to hit the middle of the spectrum. Somewhere between the extremes of Passive, and Authoritarian, lies Authoritative, also called Wise. It's the kind of parenting that will help you raise healthy and happy kids. "The children of psychologically Wise parents," Angela Duckworth writes in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, fare better than children raised in any other kind of household." We dive into all that today! I hope it helps you garner the courage to make any necessary changes in your parenting style. Links and notes at: weturnedoutokay.com/318 Special thank you to the ninja parent who asked this question. I hope this helps Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I just wrapped up a series on "Kids gone sideways," all about what to do when with meltdowns, disrespect, and potty training challenges… Useful stuff! Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Will you be my Valentine? I have a special gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… Click here to read my most recent newsletter (all about Valentine's Day) and to subscribe! "Schools are way, way behind the times when it comes to what kids need today," one of today's guests, educational psychologist Dr. Rob Reiher, shares during our conversation. Rob and his podcast cohost, Wayne Yercha, teamed up because they saw a disparity not just in schools, but in children's entertainment. So they created two shows! Live Above the Noise is the "for parents" show about helping kids find, and listen to, their inner voice – and speaking personally, it's a show that survived my 2019 digital reset because they give real insight into how we can best raise our little kids. Their other show, Shieldstar Knights, debuts this week! It's an action-adventure show for kids ages 8 to 12, and differs from most other kids' entertainment by solving problems in other ways besides violence. (It's definitely geared towards kids between eight and 12, it would be pretty scary for younger children! Maybe listen, before you introduce it to your kids, just to be sure : ) We dig into both, and lots more, in this episode of We Turned Out Okay. Join us! Click weturnedoutokay.com/317 for everything we talk about in today's episode : ) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (This one is about enjoying Valentine's Day when you've got littles running around and includes the link to become a subscriber yourself.) I just wrapped up a series on "Kids gone sideways," so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge! Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. And if you need some extra support for the tough parts of your parenting journey, join the private coaching community that I run! Click here to find out more, and to join. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe