Art Creativity & Wellbeing

I am super excited to bring you this conversation with Jennifer Louden, whose extremely helpful books (including the one we dive into today, Why Bother?), have sold nearly a million copies! Jennifer has been featured in hundreds of podcasts, magazines, and TV and radio shows – even appearing on Oprah. In today's conversation you will learn: – How to really give a hoot about your life again – Why it's crucial to LIVE in tough times, instead of just trying to live through them – Appropriate discipline for when your child gets into mischief (specifically writing on walls with magic marker, but what we discuss applies to whenever a kid gets into trouble) Go to jenniferlouden.com for answers to this question, posed there: "How do you bother after heartbreak, after creative and career defeats, after loss, after sidelining your dreams to pay off the debt, raise kids, or take care of aging parents?" But first, listen to our conversation! Need something positive in your life this summer? I'm excited to share a new program I'm offering: we are having summer camp in the Ninja Parenting Community! In addition to the courses, challenges, and other great stuff to keep you sane while raising your little kids, NPC Summer Camp includes: – Weekly camp activities that help you be a better parent, like making a vision board, or a "house rules" sign, or a treasure hunt to take kiddos on, or a "no occasion needed" fun family surprise – Supportive and fun Members-Only Campfire Nights – The sense of belonging to a community of people who get it, and who are along on this parenting journey with you NPC Summer Camp dates: Friday, June 26-Friday, August 7, 2020. Enroll now to enjoy family life this summer! Exclusively for podcast listeners and folks signed up for my weekly newsletters, click here to get your whole first month for free! (Offer ends Wednesday, June 24, and NPC Summer Camp begins Friday, June 26, so jump in now!) Can't wait to see you at summer camp! Click here to see this post in your browser : ) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"It's as if we are going through the 1918 flu pandemic AND the Great Depression AND the Civil Rights era, all at once." That's what James Arthur said on his podcast, Minority Korner, in (and about) Spring 2020. I think he's right. To get through it all we are going to have to work together! That's the spirit in which I bring you this episode. In this conversation on racial justice between my friend Shane Sams, and his friend Talaat McNeely, Talaat shares that we each must "Make change within our sphere of influence." Well, my sphere of influence is in teaching parents like you how to get your family going in the direction you want. Today I link that idea up with getting this nation going in the direction we want: one in which everyone is treated fairly, and where parents don't have to worry about their children being harassed, assaulted, or murdered because of how they look. I hope this episode, all about raising anti-racist kids, will help you make these crucial changes within your sphere of influence. FYI: Free live training course on raising good, kind kids – This week I'm doing not one but two live trainings, teaching on how a parent can change a child's bad behavior to good… and one common mistake that well-meaning parents often make when trying to raise good, kind kids. (In other words, something that ups the bad behavior, when they're trying to reduce it. It's not a mistake you want to make.) Click weturnedoutokay.com/kind to sign up for the live trainings, this coming Thursday, June 11 and Sunday, June 14! Because of my white privilege, I have been able to insulate myself. I've been able to not see some important truths that have been right in front of me. I have remained ignorant, when I should have been seeking education. This week one of my friends, a white man from Kentucky, had an amazing conversation with one of his friends, a Black man from Chicago. Talaat McNeely and Shane Sams spoke for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was astounded and ashamed at the stories Talaat told. Things that have personally happened to him and his kids, just because of the color of their skin. I was: – astounded by the differences in our experiences, Talaat's and mine, which only came about because he happens to be Black, and I happen to be white. No one should ever, EVER be treated the way Talaat and his family have been treated. – ashamed because I let it happen. The simple fact that it is happening means that I have not done enough to stop it. Talaat shares five key steps that we can take to stop racism. (I don't remember to bring up the first and most important one until we're almost at the very end of today's episode, so all along you'll hear me talk about four key steps… But that first one is most important. Talaat brings it up right at the beginning of his conversation with Shane. It's something you hear me talk about on the show again and again, and I still can't believe it took me until the last part of this episode to talk about it in connection with stopping racism.) There are about a million links today, so for those and a description of the five key steps we can take to stop racism – to raise anti-racist kids – click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/334. We need each other now, more than ever. If you are reading this and you're a person who (as the Black Panthers used to say) is Black or oppressed, you have my empathy, and my pledge to become educated instead of remaining ignorant about what has happened to you, and the part I have played in your troubles. If you're a person of privilege, I hope that like me, you're open to moving forward on the path from ignorance, to education. And from there to support. We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

(FYI: about 10 or so minutes in, I use the word "jackass" once or twice... it's not enough for an E-rating, but I want you to be aware just in case you want to listen away from sensitive ears.) Hi Friends, I had planned for, and drafted, a very different kind of post today for you (I got about a dozen spider bites while sleeping Saturday night, and we've got a very large ant invasion going on in our kitchen; my abandoned draft was largely about these.) But as I wrote I realized how truly small and insignificant these concerns of mine are. There is a lot going on in the world, and a lot going on in the news. And I wanted to start the week off with a simpler message. I wasn't sure what that message would be, except somehow I wanted to transcend the fear, the worry, and the struggles that we are seeing in the news, and even in our own homes. My family and I just finished virtually attending the closing ceremonies for the year at my son's school, and the Executive Director George Popham teared up saying the following: "If there's one important thing we should be doing, it is to put good, kind people in the world." Immediately I knew that that was the message I wanted to share. This morning when I woke up, and even as I began to write this email, I was feeling helpless and small and afraid. (And itchy from spider bites, if I'm being honest.) Hearing George's words made me feel much, much better. We have a really important mission, us parents: It's to put good, kind people in the world. If we do nothing else – absolutely nothing! – besides this, I believe it will be enough. And if I can be helpful to you, as you are working on this mission, that would fulfill something deep in me. I have lots of ideas and experience working with young children, and spent nearly a decade working in an outstanding, cutting-edge preschool program. I earned my bachelor's degree in Human Development and Family Relations, and later my master's degree in Early Childhood Education. I've spent the last six years helping parents rein in their children's bad behavior and truly enjoy family life. I know a lot about what makes kids tick, and how we can alleviate their bad behavior, and thus connect with them and feel happy within ourselves as we raise them. If we're going to raise kind people, we can do that best by making our environment is positive and kind as possible. If you're struggling with that, I hope I can be helpful for you! I just built a page on my website, weturnedoutokay.com/bias, where I gathered many of the resources that have been helping me learn to combat racism – a huge part of raising good and kind kids. I've also got lots of other free resources, including 332 back podcast episodes, and an entire Virtual Summit that I put on in response to the pandemic this past April. You can spend more in depth time with me each Wednesday evening by joining the WTOO Book Club, which is free to join, and can be free to read the book if the purchase cost is a barrier for you. And I am running a special right now, until this coming Wednesday, June 3, on entry into the virtual coaching practice where I personally help parents with their biggest challenges, trying to make this as affordable for you as possible. Lastly, if you've got any parenting questions at all I hope you'll go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact and ask. We will get through this, together. Cheers, Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"I feel like I'm completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end." That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week. She's not the only one. Not by a longshot! In this week's episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis. Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we're in now in June 2020. If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs! Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times. Join us! Links that come up today: Parenting Masterclass For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, "Parenting in Place," which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I'm signed up for it, and I hope you'll sign up too!) Ninja Parent Playbook! Want to be a part of the (extremely limited) first-ever issue of the Ninja Parent Playbook? This is the brainwave I mentioned briefly in last week's episode – a newsletter to help you keep going, anchored by a calendar that gives you some small step to take every day. But it's so much more than that. It's part workbook, part inspirational thinking, part marching orders to keep you on track. It's packed with informative and thoughtful ideas to help you not just "live through" this (or any) crisis – but really, truly LIVE. If you want to bring your family safely through hard times, while feeling not just as if you're scraping by but as if you are happy within yourself and in your family, you need this newsletter! It's a monthly publication that comes in your mailbox! (If you're outside the US at this point it needs to be a PDF into your email, although I'm hoping that will change in the future : ) Click the link below to sign up: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook WTOO Book Club Click the following link for the WTOO Book Club (we are reading Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book and one that really gets to the heart of how to have a happy family life) weturnedoutokay.com/bookclub Grand Reopening sale ends Wednesday, June 3 Earlier I mentioned the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice; Wednesday, June 3, 2020 is your LAST day to get a special quarterly rate – 3 months for the price of 2! Click this link for details: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC Click weturnedoutokay.com/066 for my conversation about consent, with Amy Anderson. Click weturnedoutokay.com/332 for last week's conversation with special needs preschool teacher, and close friend and colleague of mine, Tricia Tomaso (the episode comes up today because I shared last week about the brainwave that has become the Ninja Parent Playbook : ) Click weturnedoutokay.com/333 to view this post in your browser. And again huge hugs! We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

FYI: NPC Grand Reopening sale : ) I have been working hard behind the scenes, creating a 5-module course on “How to keep going” and a training on “how to handle your child’s angry outbursts,” not to mention spring cleaning in the Ninja Parenting Community… the response from NPC members has been wonderful! I'm excited to reopen NPC registration so you can get the help you need coming through the pandemic Go to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC – and save 33% when you sign up by Monday June 1! I am so excited to bring you this installment of OkayCon 2020 with beloved WTOO guest, special needs preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso! Tricia helps us: – Work out a routine to make our days a little easier right now – Help our kids through what they’re struggling with – Keep going, even when we feel like we kinda can’t I hope you find our conversation as helpful as I did! Click this link for this in your browser: weturnedoutokay.com/332 Also: Join the We Turned Out Okay book club! I wrote a newsletter recently on how to handle it if you’re feeling anxiety in the pandemic (and after). Click the link below to read it: https://weturnedoutokay.com/it-is-normal-to-be-anxious-when-everything-is-changing/ To watch the Free Virtual Summit I created in response to the 2020 coronavirus pandemic – this conversation today was recorded for OkayCon 2020, when Tricia (along with 8 other presenters volunteered their expertise and time to help us through) – go to: weturnedoutokay.com/OkayCon2020 We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"My biggest struggle is with my five-year-old. When she is angry she scratches, bites and sometimes hits. She also yells very loudly. I would love some advice on how to get her to stop." A listener wrote in with this question, and I knew it would probably resonate with many listeners. Like us adults, kids are experiencing lots and lots of angry feelings – more so than pre-pandemic, without the usual outlets or often even the ability to leave the house and get a change of scene. It can be difficult for adults to deal with our own rage, after years and decades of experience… It's so much harder for kids to deal with their rage. They need our help! Today I share a 3-part formula that I hope you find helpful in handling your child's angry outbursts. We've also got an impromptu Parenting News, featuring the following: The Forge article "Your Only Goal Is to Arrive," about how only one thing really matters right now in bringing our families through the pandemic. A new book – Why are You Still Sending Your Kids to School? – from friend-of-the-podcast and expert in raising self-directed learners Blake Boles. I share the Amazon link here, but Blake asks that you consider purchasing it through "local bookstores, which could certainly use the business right now." (I share about this book both in the Parenting News, and also in the main part of this episode. I think it's required reading, not just in handling your young child's rage, but also in raising resilient and happy kids. Highly recommended!) Join us! Notes, including tons of links and a cheat sheet of the 3-part formula to handle your child's angry outbursts, are at weturnedoutokay.com/331 : ) Also: I have been working hard behind the scenes, creating a 5-module course on "How to keep going" and a training on "how to handle your child's angry outbursts," not to mention spring cleaning in the Ninja Parenting Community… and in this episode I share when registration opens once more for NPC! The response from NPC members has been wonderful, and I'm excited to open up the community for those of you who want the extra support coming through the pandemic. Listen in to this episode to find out when registration opens, if you need that supportive community, and help from an expert in child development. Join the We Turned Out Okay book club! I wrote a newsletter recently on how to handle it if you're feeling anxiety in the pandemic (and after). Click the link below to read it: https://weturnedoutokay.com/it-is-normal-to-be-anxious-when-everything-is-changing/ To watch the Free Virtual Summit I created in response to the 2020 coronavirus pandemic go to: weturnedoutokay.com/OkayCon2020 We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

FYI if you want some company, some learning, and some stories, join the WTOO Book Club! During our first meeting I am sharing about a truly low point in my own parenting, and asking the question "how do we come back from crummy parenting moments? Join us Wednesday, May 13 at 9 PM EST – click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to get the link to the meeting! Hope to see you there : ) I am so excited to bring you this conversation today, which will be so helpful as these weeks of confinement and social distancing spool out… Today I get to share my conversation with Terry Louison. Terry is an educator, a self-directed learner, and the program director for Baystate Learning Center (morethanjustaschool.com) – the school my son goes to! During our conversation you will learn: – What’s most important for kids to be learning right now, during the pandemic – Why that learning doesn’t have to be stressful, for you or your child – Concrete ideas taken from Terry’s own curriculum and plans for virtual teaching Join us! Terry's presentation is one of many from OkayCon 2020, the Free Virtual Summit I recently wrapped up! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/OkayCon2020 for all the presentations! Also: go to weturnedoutokay.com/330 to watch Terry's video presentation. Hope you are staying well and safe during the pandemic. We will get through it together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

WTOO Book Club – Starting Wednesday, May 13 at 8 PM EST we are doing a chapter-by-chapter weekly read of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics. We will learn to get good behavior from kiddos, share some stories, and spend some time each week together. If that sounds good to you, Click here to join the WTOO Book Club! Working closely with parents of young children during this pandemic, I’ve seen so many examples of bad behavior: – Kids smearing peanut butter on walls, dumping vinegar in beds, destroying furniture – Kids pulling pets’ tales, chasing them with scooters, threatening the pets, and their own safety (when the animals retaliate) – Kids getting overly clingy, going back and forth in terms of emotions between overexcited and happy, to abjectly despairing and melting down – Kids reverting from potty training, showing immature behaviors that hadn’t been seen for weeks or months or years – Kids unable to control their rage and angry feelings And it’s not only kids reacting to the situation with heightened emotions. We are doing it too! The questions I hear from the people I work most closely with: “I feel so lost. How do I live through this? What do I DO?” This presentation comes directly from the solutions these parents have found. I am excited to bring them to you! Today I share 7 things you can do to feel better – these are the ways I'm seeing parents use successfully to LIVE in this right now, as opposed to just living through this. Click weturnedoutokay.com/329 to read the cheat sheet of these steps. We will get through this together! In previous episodes I've mentioned how appreciative I am of my town's weekday Emergency Meetings which they post in YouTube. This past week I was invited on the show! (Click here to view!) I talk about how to get kids to wear masks, what to do when you are absolutely at your wit's end, and more. I'm posting it in here because I hope it will be helpful for you, even if you do not live in my town Free Help for Parents in the Pandemic – in April 2020 I created the OkayCon Free Virtual Summit, 10 conversations with experts in fields of crucial importance to you right now (kids' behavior, finances, finding a job, home security, and lots more). These conversations are all available for free, for ever, at this link. I hope the Virtual Summit is helpful for you! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

The pressures of home and family life during lockdown play a big part in today's conversation. Like you, my guest Anne and her family are sheltering in place. Like you, Anne has her good days and bad days – as does her 5-year-old son. But several weeks ago something happened in their family life that caused Anne's son to erupt into angry outbursts: the accidental death of Dilly, the baby bird the family had taken in. Today, you get to listen in on a coaching exercise to help Anne bring her son back from the brink. (It's the process that I use frequently in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, to help members figure out what is really going on, and how to start addressing it, to make everyday family life better.) As you'll hear, getting good behavior from her five-year-old means: – Recognizing that her instincts are sound, and that she is doing a great job! – Working with the other adults in the house as a team – Remaining calm and positive, even in these very difficult circumstances If you need some inspiration and ideas for getting through tough times, during lockdown and beyond, this is the conversation for you! Join us! And huge thanks to you Anne! Click weturnedoutokay.com/329 for notes and links! WTOO Book Club – Starting Wednesday, May 13 at 8 PM EST we are doing a chapter-by-chapter weekly read of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics. We will learn to get good behavior from kiddos, share some stories, and spend some time each week together. If that sounds good to you, Click here to join the WTOO Book Club! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

FYI: I am starting a WTOO book club, a chapter-by-chapter read of my parenting books! If you want to learn to get good behavior from your kiddos, and share some stories, and spend some time each week with me, you can do that starting in May : ) Click here to buy Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book we'll start with, so you can get reading! I am so excited to bring you this conversation, with returning champion, mom, and money expert Raeshal Solomon of mylittlebanker.com! Raeshal knows so much about money and getting out of debt – firsthand; in our first WTOO conversation, in episode 215, she shares how she successfully got herself out of debt. In our conversation (recorded for OkayCon 2020, the Free Virtual Summit taking place during April 2020; go to OkayCon.com to check out all the presentations!) Raeshal shares: – 6 steps you can take to get your finances under control, during and after the pandemic – How (and why) to "take the emotion out of money" – What you actually should do with your stimulus check This is a wonderful and extremely helpful conversation. Join us! (Go to weturnedoutokay.com/328 for links and Raeshal's 6 steps outlined : ) I believe that challenging times call for dramatic measures. So I'm upping the WTOO game! Free Parenting Advice – Click the following link to sign up for my Free Newsletter, where each week you'll get tons of advice and ideas for parenting through the Covid-19 crisis: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Parenting Support Every Step of the Way – We're facing one of the most challenging times of our lives. Like me you are probably feeling all kinds of fear, anxiety, and worry right now. Besides which, you are also likely sheltering in place with kids – whose behavior is leaving a lot to be desired at the moment! That's why I've got special help for you during (and beyond) the Pandemic. For a limited time, I am offering NPC membership at a special rate: $1 for your first month, and then the Friends & Family Monthly Rate, 25% off standard membership : ) So you can get the help and support you need during this crisis, click the link below: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe