Healing Childhood Trauma

 Ever wondered if someone’s avoidant or actually narcissistic? In this episode, I break down what sets avoidant attachment apart from narcissism, why they often get confused (especially in anxious-avoidant dynamics), and how understanding the difference can help you stop blaming yourself, start seeing patterns clearly, and move toward healthier relationships.Whether you’re trying to make sense of someone else’s behavior or reflecting on your own, this episode brings nuance, compassion, and clarity to a tricky but important topic.What I cover in this episode:Why avoidant behaviour can look like narcissismWhat avoidant attachment actually is (and where it comes from)The clinical traits of narcissism and how it developsKey differences between avoidant and narcissistic patternsCan someone be both?How trauma plays a role in bothWhy social media often gets this wrongQuestions to ask yourself if you’re unsure what you’re dealing withIf this episode resonated:You can learn more about healing attachment wounds and navigating confusing relationship dynamics by working with me 1:1 or joining my email list for more weekly insights. All the links are in the show notes below.Connect on TikTokConnect on InstagramGet your free attachment guide and join the mailing list 📱Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Episode referenced in the show:Ep 18 The Anxious avoidant trap in relationshipsDisclaimer:Everything shared on this podcast is for information and support only. It’s not therapy, and it’s not a substitute for working with a qualified mental health professional. While I hope these episodes are helpful, they’re not a replacement for personalised care. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a therapist or support service in your area. Support the show

When you're anxious or highly stressed, starting your day with a healthy morning routine for better mental health can help to support your emotional wellbeing. Some routines can feel daunting or another to-do but when you approach it from a place of being trauma informed and realistic, you can work with what you have the time and means to do. This episode gives you ideas to try, even when you are incredibly short on time. Did you enjoy this episode? Don’t forget to share and subscribe! Join the Facebook groupConnect on TikTokConnect on InstagramBook a free 15 minute consultation with LizandraSupport the show

If you’ve ever felt disconnected during sex, struggled to enjoy pleasure, or found yourself shutting down emotionally or physically, this episode is for you.This week, psychotherapist Lizandra is joined by certified sexologist Lucy Rowett for a deeply honest and empowering conversation about the links between trauma, attachment wounds, and female sexuality. We explore why so many women feel stuck in cycles of shame or numbness when it comes to intimacy, and what it actually takes to reclaim a felt sense of safety, desire, and connection in your body.Whether you have an anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment style, you’ll hear compassionate insights that help make sense of what’s going on and how to begin healing.Connect with Lizandra on TikTokConnect with Lizandra on InstagramVisit the websiteDownload the free attachment healing guide and join the mailing list here Lucy Rowett, CSC, is a certified sexologist and sex coach who is passionate about helping women and people with vulvas let go of sexual shame and hangups and embrace pleasure to create the passionate relationships they've always desired. She is the host of the Naked and Unashamed Life podcast, and the resident sex coach at UK contraception platform, The Lowdown.Learn more about her here: https://lucyrowett.com/Free guide to confident sexual communication: https://bit.ly/askforwhatyoureallywantFree meditation to connect to your vulva: https://bit.ly/handheartvInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucylurowettTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lucyrowettPodcast: The Naked and Unashamed Life Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0MdbEOJW9nXRqLsAMSTRAn?si=2ce2d298be93495cApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-naked-unashamed-life/id1682478750Support the show

**Currently Accepting Clients** 📱Book your free 15 minute intro call with LizandraIn this episode, we’re diving into the science behind Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, and why your childhood experiences may still be impacting your mental, emotional, and even physical health today.If you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns keep showing up in your life—like anxiety, chronic stress, people-pleasing, or difficulty in relationships—this conversation offers a powerful lens to help you make sense of it all.I’ll break down what ACEs are, how they’re measured, and what the original ACE study revealed about the connection between early trauma and long-term health outcomes. We’ll also explore how this information can be used not as a label, but as a tool for deeper understanding and healing.Whether you’re new to the concept of ACEs or already familiar, this episode will help you connect the dots between past experiences and present challenges—with compassion, not blame.In this episode, I cover:What Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are and how they’re assessedLong-term impacts of ACEs on mental and physical healthHow trauma can show up in the therapy room and in your relationshipsThe hope beyond the score: healing, resilience, and nervous system repairConnect on TikTokConnect on InstagramVisit the websiteResources MentionedThe Deepest Well Book (affiliate link) Support the show

Many children of narcissistic fathers tend to have a core feeling of never being good enough. Feeling invaluable or invisible unless they are over-performing or over-achieving. This episode looks at the emotional and psychological impact of growing up with a narcissistic father and what steps you can take to start healing.  Subscribe and watch the free training Stop Doing Relationships Like Your Parents**Currently Accepting Clients** 📱Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Visit the WebsiteSupport the show

**Currently Accepting Clients** 📱Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect on TikTokConnect on InstagramIn this episode, we're talking about something that so many people are living with daily—often without realising it: being stuck in the stress response.From a trauma-informed perspective, this isn’t just about feeling busy or overwhelmed. Living in the stress response means your nervous system is constantly on high alert—operating from fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. It’s what happens when your body hasn’t had the chance to fully process and come out of past experiences that felt unsafe.This chronic state can show up as anxiety, people-pleasing, shutdown, irritability, overthinking, or feeling like you can never relax—even when things are "fine."Why is this important to understand?Because when you’re living in the stress response, it shapes how you show up in relationships, work, parenting, and even how you relate to yourself. It becomes hard to trust yourself, make grounded decisions, or feel connected to others. And the worst part is—it can feel normal, because it’s what your system has gotten used to.Understanding this from a trauma-informed lens helps take the shame out of it. You’re not broken or “too sensitive.” Your body has simply adapted to survive. And healing is not about pushing yourself to “calm down”—it’s about creating safety in your nervous system over time.Tune in to learn more about what living in the stress response looks like, how to spot it in yourself, and what small steps you can start taking to come out of survival mode and into a more regulated, connected state.Listen to episode 5 What Causes People Pleasing Behaviour Support the show

Have you been trying all of the things to move forward in your healing journey? Therapy, podcasts, reading, meditation but you still feel like you’re not getting anywhere? There are often reasons why you can plateau and feel like you are not making progress. This episode helps you to discover what they are so that you can stop being so hard on yourself and make the changes you’ve been working so hard to make. If you’re just getting started or you just need to refresh, listen to this episode on How to Begin Your Healing Journey 🔗 Links & Resources:👉 Work with me 1:1👉 Join my free community👉 Follow me on InstagramSupport the show

🚨**LAST CHANCE TO BOOK YOUR SEAT Friday 17th May Midnight BST**👉Click here for your ticket 👈Ever found yourself freezing mid-conversation, overreacting to a small comment, or walking away from a talk thinking, “That didn’t come out how I meant it to”?You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore why communication feels impossible when you’re triggered—and how your attachment style, nervous system, and past experiences all play a role.If you’re tired of miscommunication, emotional spirals, or feeling misunderstood, this episode will help you connect the dots—and start healing your communication patterns from the inside out.What We Cover:Why “just use your words” doesn’t work when you’re dysregulatedHow anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles show up in communicationThe nervous system’s role in fight/flight/freeze responses mid-conversationWhy small things feel huge when you’re triggeredThe real reason you shut down, fawn, or over-explainHow to expand your window of tolerance so you can stay presentWhy learning to communicate is a healing process—not just a skillReady to go deeper?Join my Communication Workshop—a live, practical space to help you:Say what you mean (without spiraling after)Stay grounded when conversations get tenseUnderstand and shift your attachment-driven patternsBuild secure communication, even when it feels vulnerableSign up by clicking the link Support the show

Let’s talk about the subtle ways we push people away - even when we don’t mean to.In this episode, I’m breaking down 3 communication habits that can quietly damage connection, especially if you’ve learned to protect yourself by not being fully honest about what you need.Here’s what we cover:Why over-explaining isn’t clarity - it’s a nervous system trying to feel safeHow emotional distance and avoidance can cause resentment and fuel conflictThe sneaky habit of expressing needs through small, surface-level complaints instead of saying what’s really going onThese patterns aren’t about being “bad at communication.” They usually form when it hasn’t felt safe to be direct, or when your needs were ignored or dismissed in the past.This episode will help you spot the moments you disconnect from your truth and away from healthy communication. —🗓️ Join the online workshop on how to manage conflict and have hard conversationsMAY 17th 11am-1pm GMT+1  🚨 Book by May 10th for Early Bird Pricing 🐥 If you shut down in conflict or get stuck in anxious-avoidant dynamics, this is for you.I’ll be guiding you through how to manage conflict so you don’t resort to childlike behaviour or become unnecessarily critical. I’ll teach you how to respond in a way that builds connection without abandoning yourself.👉🎟️ Grab your spot here to join the Workshop👈Learn the communication mistakes that make conflict worse and how to change itTo shift your usual communication style so you can be clear, concise and rationalHow to stop people pleasing and over explaining yourself Imagine:Not spending days overthinking what you could have said betterCommunicating from a place of calm instead of insecure attachment Feeling more connected in your relationships so you don’t have to fear abandonment and rejection Spots are limited and I’d love to have you join us.Full Details for Speak to be Heard Workshop on May 17th 2025 Support the show

Healing Childhood trauma is back after a break! In this episode, I’m talking about five emotional habits that might seem harmless—or even polite—but are actually signs you’re disconnected from your emotional needs.These patterns are common if you grew up in a home where your emotions weren’t welcomed or validated, and they often show up in the way we relate to ourselves and others as adults.We’ll cover:Why constantly invalidating your own experience feels “normal”How over-apologising chips away at your sense of selfThe long-term cost of not expressing your emotionsWhy emotional avoidance keeps you stuck in the same cyclesHow guilt around resting is a trauma response, not a productivity issueAND how this all relates to attachment trauma If you’ve ever said, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it” or felt guilty just for taking a break—this one’s for you.It’s not about shame—it’s about awareness. And small shifts in how you treat your emotions can change everything.✨ Let’s explore what it looks like to come back to yourself.Episodes referenced in the episode:Therapist Tips on Having Hard Conversations and Dealing with Conflict 4 Attachment Styles in Relationships 📣 🗓️ P.S. I’ve got a brand-new workshop coming up in May.It’s for anyone who shuts down in conflict or gets stuck in the anxious-avoidant cycle. If you want practical tools and deeper insight into why this happens, stay tuned—details will be landing in your inbox soon.Not on the list yet?Make sure you're subscribed so you don’t miss the invite!Join the Mailing List Support the show