Stillness in the Storms

We dive into the idea of accepting things instead of trying to let them go. I talk about how we often hear advice to just "move on" or "forgive and forget," but honestly, that doesn’t work for everyone. It’s all about recognizing that acceptance is the first step before any letting go can happen. I share some personal stories about my own struggles with acceptance, especially after hitting rock bottom. So, let’s explore how accepting our reality can actually lead to less suffering and more inner peace.Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukAccepting things as they are is the theme of today's show. We often hear the advice to let things go, but what does that really mean? Trying to let things go feels like pushing something away, and honestly, that's not easy. Reflecting on my own life, I remember when I hit rock bottom at 40. I faced a painful breakup and the struggle of trying to move on. It was tough because I didn’t know how to let go. Instead, I learned that before we can truly let go, we must first accept what has happened. This acceptance is crucial because it leads us to a deeper understanding of our feelings without the added pressure of forcing them away. The show dives into the idea that suffering often comes from our resistance to accepting reality. When we refuse to face what is happening, we create more pain for ourselves. Acceptance is the first step toward peace, and only then can we start to explore letting things be as they are.Takeaways: Accepting things as they are helps reduce suffering and increases inner peace. Letting go is an action that often feels forced and doesn't truly work for many. Understanding what we can and cannot change is key to finding peace in life. Suffering often comes from resisting reality, so acceptance is crucial for emotional well-being. Meditation and mindfulness can help manage strong feelings and promote acceptance. Using the Serenity Prayer can provide clarity on what we can change and what we must accept.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukI just spilled some beans about my book-buying habits and how they connect to a bigger issue: knowledge is pretty much useless if we don’t take action. I mean, I’ve got shelves full of books and all these Audible titles, yet I often find myself scrolling through social media instead of actually reading them. We all know we should be making healthier choices, but when it comes down to it, we often reach for convenience instead. It’s like, we buy the books and have all this good intention, but if we don’t do anything with that knowledge, it just sits there collecting dust. So, let’s chat about how we can stop just accumulating knowledge and start putting it into practice in our lives.This is a big confession time, and I bet you do the same thing again and again. We do all these things and we know better, why don't we do better? In this podcast, Steven Webb discusses why knowledge is worthless if you don't do anything with it.Takeaways: I recently realized that simply buying books won't change my life unless I actually read them and apply what I've learned. Knowledge is totally useless if we don't put it into action and practice what we've learned in our lives. It's easy to get distracted by instant gratification instead of focusing on long-term improvements and self-help practices. I've discovered that knowledge alone isn't enough; we need to actively engage with it to see real change in our lives. When we buy self-help books, it's important to commit to implementing their lessons rather than just accumulating them on our shelves. The journey of self-improvement starts with taking action based on the knowledge we gain from our readings and experiences. Confessing a little habit of mine today: I buy a ton of books. Seriously, I just jumped on Amazon and snagged a couple more, thinking they’re going to fix my life. One was even called "Unfuck My Life"—I mean, how could I resist that? But here's the kicker: I’ve got a whole library of books, and you’d think I’d be living my best life if I actually read them. I mean, I could probably write a book on how to collect books and do nothing with them. We all have this intention to improve ourselves, right? We buy the healthy stuff at the grocery store but end up tossing half of it because we’re too tempted by takeout. It’s like we’re all on this treadmill of purchasing knowledge but never really using it. Yeah, I get it—knowledge is power, but only if you actually do something with it. It’s not enough to just read; you have to apply what you learn. So, let’s stop buying the next self-help book until we’ve put what we learned from the last one into action. That’s the real challenge. Let’s get practical and make knowledge work for us.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukI'm feeling a bit anxious today, and I want to share that with you. Even though I help people manage their stress and anxiety, I still experience those feelings myself. Today, I found myself avoiding life by watching random videos on YouTube instead of dealing with my tasks. It's easy to get caught up in those moments of escapism, but I realized that acknowledging my feelings is crucial. In this conversation, we’ll explore how we all face our own storms, and what we can do to find stillness amidst the chaos. Let's dive in and see how we can navigate these feelings together.Now and again, you have one of those days, and this was one of them. I really couldn't be bothered to do anything, let alone record a podcast.Stress and anxiety can creep in on even the best of days. As I sit here feeling anxious and overwhelmed, I share that it’s a universal experience, even for those who help others manage their stress. We all face moments of doubt and avoidance, and I’m no exception. This podcast dives into the feeling of wanting to hide from the world and the struggle of confronting those feelings head-on. I share my recent experiences of procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities, like scrolling through YouTube instead of dealing with my emails. It’s all too easy to get caught up in distractions, but recognizing this behavior is the first step towards addressing it. During this episode, I reflect on how life can feel overwhelming, even when it seems like everything is fine. The anxiety doesn’t always have a clear cause, and sometimes, it just sneaks up on us. I discuss how I’ve learned to observe my feelings and reactions, and how this awareness can lead to better coping mechanisms. We talk about the importance of showing up for ourselves and the power of doing something constructive, like recording this podcast, to help shift our mindset. It’s a reminder that we all deal with stress and anxiety, and it’s okay to feel that way sometimes.The conversation also touches on the idea that we’re all just a few pages ahead in our life stories. No one has it completely together, and even those who seem to have it all figured out have their struggles. By sharing my own vulnerabilities, I hope to encourage listeners to acknowledge their feelings and take steps to overcome them. Life is about navigating through the storms, and the tools we build for ourselves can help us feel more equipped to face those challenges.Takeaways: Feeling anxious and overwhelmed is something everyone experiences, even those who help others. We often avoid our responsibilities by distracting ourselves with things we don't care about. Recognizing our feelings and taking action is more important than simply feeling overwhelmed. Life is unpredictable; despite our coping strategies, storms will still come our way. The key to managing anxiety is to observe our behavior and respond constructively, not reactively. It's okay to feel stressed; what matters is how we choose to deal with those feelings.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukI’ve realized that telling people to just think positive is one of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever given. It seems so simple, right? Just be positive and live for the good stuff, but oh man, I was so wrong about that. Today, I'm diving into why it’s not really that easy and what we can actually do about it. We’re going to explore how our minds work and why we really can’t just flip a negative thought into a positive one on demand. So let’s unpack this together and figure out how we can take control of our thoughts instead of letting them run wild.Just think positive, just look on the positive side of life. Really easy, simple anybody can do it. So why do the majority think in a negative way? It's not as simple as thinking positive, and in this episode of Stillness in the Storms I explained why.Stephen Webb takes us on an insightful journey through the complexities of human thought in this compelling episode. He starts by addressing a common piece of advice—just think positive—which he admits is not as straightforward as it seems. After years of sharing this advice, he has come to understand that simply trying to force a positive mindset can be both unrealistic and unhelpful. Instead, he advocates for a more thoughtful approach to our inner dialogue, one that honors the intricacies of our emotional landscape.He breaks down the concept of the mind into three distinct parts: the instinctual mind, which reacts quickly; the subconscious mind, which draws from past experiences; and the conscious mind, where intentional thinking occurs. Each of these minds plays a vital role in how we process information and react to life’s challenges. Stephen emphasizes that while we cannot change a thought once it has appeared, we can choose how to respond to it. He likens thoughts to trains coming into a station, suggesting that we can let unhelpful thoughts pass without boarding them.In a world where positivity is often glorified, Stephen reminds us that negative thoughts have their place too. They can alert us to potential dangers and help us navigate life more effectively. By recognizing and managing our thoughts, rather than suppressing them, we empower ourselves to create a more balanced mental state. This episode is a call to action for listeners to engage mindfully with their thoughts, encouraging them to choose which ones to nurture. It’s a refreshing perspective that highlights the importance of embracing all facets of our mental experiences for a more authentic and resilient life.Takeaways: The advice to just think positive is overly simplistic and often unhelpful. It's crucial to recognize that we cannot simply change a negative thought into a positive one. Our subconscious mind tends to reinforce the thoughts we focus on, whether they are positive or negative. Negative thoughts have evolutionary benefits that can keep us safe in dangerous situations. Learning to manage our thoughts involves choosing which ones to focus on rather than trying to change them. Emotional weight attached to thoughts determines how our subconscious mind prioritizes them in our awareness.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukToday, I’m diving into a big realization I had about shame and how it sneaks into our lives. I’ve been carrying this emotion for nearly 30 years without even knowing it, and it’s been holding me back from asking for help. It turns out that shame has been a huge part of my struggle, especially since my accident when I was 18. I’ve always felt guilty about needing assistance, but now I see that it’s time to face this head-on. By recognizing this feeling, I feel a newfound freedom that’s been missing for way too long. Join me as I unpack this journey and explore how facing our emotions can truly set us free.I'm sure you've heard of shadows, those emotions and influences that have a large bearing on our lives yet we cannot see them. Nearly 30 years, I had no idea that this one emotion was holding me back. As I share my story of finding freedom, what about you? What emotion is holding you back?I'm Steven Webb, your host, and sometimes we are far too close and when an ex says something that bites. Take notice.The heart of today's discussion revolves around a profound personal revelation that has taken years to uncover. Our speaker reflects on a conversation that revealed an unrecognized emotion: shame. This emotion, stemming from a life-changing accident at 18, has woven itself into the fabric of daily life, impacting decisions and feelings of independence. The speaker grapples with the complexities of needing help while feeling a deep-seated guilt for requiring assistance. This episode dives into the intricacies of human emotions and the importance of acknowledging them to achieve freedom and wholeness. Through personal anecdotes, we explore how shame can act as a silent barrier, subtly pulling us back from reaching out for support. The speaker's journey towards understanding this emotion offers listeners a chance to reflect on their own barriers and the potential for growth that comes from confronting them head-on.Takeaways: The realization of shame in my life has brought a new sense of freedom. Understanding that I can include all my feelings, both good and bad, is key. Asking for help has been a significant struggle for me throughout my life. It's crucial to shine a light on our emotions to free ourselves from their hold. Recognizing that shame has limited me has opened doors to a more fulfilling life. Listening to others about what might be holding me back can lead to profound insights.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukWe’re diving into the myth of memory and how it messes with our heads, especially when we argue with family. You know how it goes—two people recall the same convo and end up at each other's throats over who said what. I used to do this all the time with my sister. But guess what? Our memories are not as perfect as we think they are. I’ll share some insights that helped me stop the fighting, and it’s all about recognizing that both sides can be right and wrong. By understanding how memory works, we can chill out, have more compassion, and maybe even stop the endless debates over who remembers things correctly.The podcast takes an enlightening dive into the concept of memory and how it affects our relationships, particularly with family. The host shares a personal story from his life about how he used to argue with his sister about their past conversations. It’s fascinating to hear him reflect on those moments, recalling how both of them were convinced of their own recollections. He emphasizes that memory isn't as clear-cut as we often think. Instead, it's more about how we reconstruct memories, often mixing them with emotions and fragments of other experiences. This realization has helped him reduce arguments with family, making conversations more peaceful. He encourages listeners to consider how their memories might be flawed too, and how understanding this can foster compassion and reduce conflict in everyday interactions. Overall, the episode is a gentle reminder of our shared human experience, highlighting that we're all imperfect in our recollections and that it's okay to be wrong sometimes.Takeaways: Today's episode dives into the myth of memories being perfect and how this affects our arguments. I share a personal story about how remembering things can lead to family arguments over misunderstandings. We explore how our memories are not as reliable as we think and can be flawed. Realizing our memories are imperfect helps us to stop arguing and accept different perspectives more easily. I encourage listeners to send in their gratitude stories, making our connections more meaningful. Understanding the emotional impact of memories can help us communicate better with our loved ones.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukWe dive deep into the idea that you can't change the present moment, and that’s a big deal. I share some personal stories that really make you think about how we often fight reality instead of embracing it. It’s all about what we do with our circumstances. I talk about my own journey, especially during tough times, and how I found ways to use my challenges as fuel for growth. So, let’s figure out together how to stop battling with what is and start making the most of it.My BEST ADVICE... That's what I discuss on this podcast, and what advice I would like you to remember if I don't get the opportunity to ever share another podcast.Reflecting on how we wish to be remembered can be a powerful exercise. I found myself pondering this after a call, asking what message I want to leave behind. What if this was my final podcast? What would I say? The core of our discussion revolves around finding inner peace, especially in these chaotic times. 2020 has thrown countless challenges at us, and it becomes crucial to look inward for peace rather than relying on the external world. The wisdom I share is centered on the acceptance of the present moment. I learned this lesson during a difficult time in my life when I was bedridden after a serious injury. During those long days, I realized that fighting against my circumstances was pointless. I couldn't change the fact that I was paralyzed, so I focused more on how I could use that moment to learn, grow, and help others. The main takeaway here is that we often resist the present moment, wishing it were different. I urge listeners to stop that struggle and instead ask themselves what they can do with the current situation. Each moment, good or bad, carries potential for growth if we choose to embrace it. This perspective can change everything. I also share personal anecdotes from my time in recovery, where small victories became monumental achievements. The process of moving from being immobilized to engaging with life again taught me resilience. My advice is simple: you cannot change the present moment. Instead of wishing for a different reality, focus on how to harness your current situation to make a positive impact. Whether it's overcoming fear or finding purpose in hardship, it's about using the present as a launching pad for your future. So, what will you do with this moment? That's the real question. Embracing the present can lead to profound changes in our lives. When we surrender to what is, we gain clarity and strength, and we can start to build the life we want from there. So, let's shift our mindset from resistance to acceptance and explore how we can turn our challenges into opportunities for meaningful growth. As I wrap up this reflection, I hope to inspire others to think about the legacy they want to leave behind. Let's make it one of empowerment and resilience. We have the power to guide our lives, even when circumstances feel overwhelming. Let's embrace our stories and turn them into something impactful.Takeaways: You cannot change the present moment, so focus on what you can do with it. Accepting the present moment gives you the power to create positive changes in your life. When faced with challenges, ask yourself how you can use them to improve your situation. Every defining moment in life can be seen as an opportunity for growth and learning. Stop wishing for things to be different; instead, make the most of what you have right now. Embrace fear as a source of information that can help guide your actions moving forward.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukOur bodies are talking to us all the time, and in this episode, we dig deep into how to listen to what they’re saying. Pain isn't just something to push away; it’s actually a teacher, giving us vital info about our well-being. I share my own experiences with body pain and how I've learned to understand the signals my body sends me, even when it doesn't feel like I have control. We’ll explore how ignoring these messages can lead to bigger issues and why tuning in is so important. Let’s take a moment to appreciate our bodies and learn to read the signs they give us!If you really want to know how to be healthy, more energy and sleep better. Listen to your body. One of our biggest teachers is our own body, yes your body. It is giving you all the information you need to make wise decisions, yet we very often do not listen to it.In this podcast Steven Webb the host of Stillness in the Storms talks about his body, his paralysed body and how he needs to listen to it a little more deeply than most would have to.Pain can be more than just a nuisance; it can be a teacher. I want to dive deep into how our bodies communicate with us and how we often ignore these signals. In this podcast, I share my own experiences with pain and how they reflect the messages our bodies are constantly sending. I talk about my paralysis and how it alters my perception of pain. For me, pain isn't always clear because I don't feel it in the same way most people do. Instead, I have to rely on other signs from my body to understand what it's trying to tell me. This journey into understanding my body has taught me that every little discomfort or ache can provide valuable insight into my health and well-being.Through my stories, I encourage listeners to start tuning into their bodies. I explain how ignoring subtle signs can lead to bigger issues down the road. For example, when I was overweight or eating poorly, my body was sending me hints through fatigue and discomfort. I emphasize the importance of becoming aware of these messages, whether it’s feeling sluggish after a big meal or not being able to focus due to dehydration. Our bodies need us to listen and respond appropriately. By taking the time to understand our physical sensations, we can prevent more significant problems and lead healthier lives.As we wrap up, I suggest practical ways to start this process of listening to our bodies. Simple practices like taking deep breaths and slowing down can help us become more aware of what our bodies are saying. I invite listeners to engage with their physical sensations, to ask themselves what their pain might be trying to teach them. This approach can lead to a richer understanding of health and well-being, making us more in tune with the most crucial aspect of our lives: our bodies. Let's learn to respect and listen to our bodies, recognizing that pain serves a purpose and can guide us toward better health.Takeaways: Our bodies are like teachers, using pain to communicate important information to us. Listening to our bodies can lead to understanding our discomforts and how to address them. When we ignore body signals, we risk worsening our health and wellbeing in the long run. Taking a moment to breathe and check in with our bodies can reveal valuable insights.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukToday is no ordinary day, and we dive deep into the reflection of a life-changing moment that happened 29 years ago. We talk about September 1, 1991, the day everything shifted for me. I recount the simple, everyday things I did that day, not knowing it would be the last time I would walk or feel my body in the same way. This episode reminds us to appreciate the small miracles of life we often take for granted. We explore how living with gratitude can transform our perspective, urging everyone to pause and recognize the beauty of each moment.Every year on the anniversary of when I broke my neck, I reflect on my life being disabled, being paralysed like I am and how it affects me. How I can find the gift in what happened, and how I can use it to help others. This year I reflect on the day of my accident, that morning and what did I do on the last day I could walk.Reflecting on the significance of September 1, 1991, I take a deep dive into the memories of that day, a day that changed everything for me. I vividly recall waking up, feeling a sense of normalcy that would soon shatter. Each motion I made, from stretching to getting out of bed, seemed routine. I walked to the bathroom, showered, and prepared breakfast, all while my mind wandered, unaware of the impending change. That day felt just like any other Sunday, but it was actually the last day I would walk, the last day I would feel my legs. I chronicle the transition from an ordinary morning to a life-altering moment—the dive that left me paralyzed. This episode isn’t just about my accident; it’s a call to acknowledge how we often take our abilities for granted. I challenge listeners to consider what they might do differently if they knew today was their last day of independence. It’s a poignant reminder to appreciate the small things, those everyday miracles we often overlook.As I reflect on that fateful dive, I explore how life can change in an instant and how we often live on autopilot, missing the beauty around us. I share thoughts on gratitude and the importance of recognizing the miraculous aspects of our daily lives. I emphasize that every moment is precious and that we should embrace life fully. The memories of that day remind me that love, laughter, and even the mundane can be extraordinary. I urge my listeners to pause, take a breath, and recognize the gifts they possess today. This conversation is an invitation to live intentionally and with gratitude, to wake up every morning and declare, 'Today is no ordinary day.'Takeaways: Today marks a significant anniversary, recalling the day everything changed for me. I often think about September 1, 1991, and how ordinary moments can become extraordinary. On that last day I could walk, I didn't realize how special it really was. Living in gratitude for what we have is essential, as nothing is guaranteed tomorrow. Every single day holds potential and miracles; we must recognize and appreciate them. It's crucial to live with intention and make memories that last a lifetime.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukHow mature is your anger? That’s the big question we’re diving into today. We’ve all got feelings like anger, shame, and guilt, but how grown-up are they really? I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I believe many of us don’t handle our anger in a mature way. We’ll chat about what mature anger looks like, how it can shift our arguments, and why it’s not just okay to feel angry, but actually important. Plus, we’ll explore how pausing and understanding our emotions can lead to better outcomes in our relationships and daily lives. So, let’s jump right into it!Is it really possible to be angry and be kind at the same time? I answer this question on today's podcast, while sharing the story about an argument they could have gone seriously wrong. Have we got anger completely wrong, and should we change the way we see it.Anger is a natural emotion, but its maturity varies from person to person. In our recent episode, we have a serious conversation about what it means to have mature anger and how it affects our interactions. Anger often signals that something we value is at stake, and understanding this can lead to healthier expressions of our feelings. The discussion revolves around differentiating between immature anger, which can lead to aggressive outbursts, and mature anger that encourages thoughtful dialogue and resolution. I recount a story of a tense situation with a neighbor about parking, highlighting how my choice to remain calm defused the situation. This moment encapsulates the essence of our talk: when we recognize our anger as a reflection of our values and choose to respond with wisdom, we can navigate conflicts more effectively. The key is to pause and understand what is triggering our anger rather than reacting impulsively. We also explore how anger can be a force for positive change in the world. Whether it's addressing social issues or advocating for personal boundaries, anger can motivate us to act. The goal is to harness this energy constructively rather than letting it lead to destructive behaviors. Throughout the episode, we encourage listeners to embrace their anger, understand its roots, and express it in ways that promote connection and understanding rather than division. It's about using our emotional experiences as tools for growth and better communication.Takeaways: Understanding how mature your anger is can help you respond better in conflicts. Mature anger is about pausing, listening, and caring about the other person's perspective. Anger can drive positive change if it's channeled wisely and not just reacted to. We should embrace our anger as it indicates what we deeply care about in life. The way we handle our anger can lead to more constructive conversations and solutions. Realizing that we choose our reactions to anger can empower us to manage it better.