Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Your child is hesitant about sports, the coach wants to help, and you're caught in the middle—what now? Today’s tricky question tackles the complex dynamics of youth sports anxiety from both the coach's and parent's perspective.  Quote of the Episode: "Your child signed up for it. Your child wants to play the sport. It's their experience, so let them have that experience." Key Insights: Parent involvement can often increase rather than decrease child anxiety. Individual acknowledgement by name creates belonging and confidence. Reframing anxiety can help children approach challenges differently. Trust between parents and coaches is essential for child development. The "uphill" moments in sports build character and resilience. Minimising children's feelings about anxiety is counterproductive. The three E's approach: Explore, Explain, Empower. Action Steps for Coaches: Minimise parent involvement during practice/training. Get curious about individual children and their concerns. Acknowledge each child by name and build personal connections. Action Steps for Parents: Trust the coach and step back from direct involvement. Embrace the challenging moments ("love the hills"). Validate feelings without minimising them. Use the three E's: Explore, Explain, Empower. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to help your child manage big emotions? Start by understanding what emotional regulation really means. In this episode, we unpack why suppressing emotions isn't always bad, how regulation develops from age three onwards, and why parents might need to work on their own regulation first. Plus, discover three practical strategies that actually work—no more ineffective "just calm down" responses. Whether you're dealing with gaming meltdowns or homework frustrations, these solutions will transform how you handle emotional moments. Quote of the Episode: "They don't need to be reprimanded. They need to be understanded." Key Insights: Emotional regulation means expressing or suppressing emotions appropriately for the context. Self-regulation begins developing at age 3 and stabilises around age 9. Parents often struggle with their own regulation while expecting it from their children. Better regulation leads to improved academic performance, relationships, and life outcomes. Supporting rather than solving builds autonomy, competence, and connection. Context matters: hunger, tiredness, and stress all impact regulation ability. The ability to process emotions is more important than suppressing them. Breaking down overwhelming tasks helps prevent emotional flooding. Resources Mentioned: Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment Self-Determination Theory HappyFamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents: Support, Don't Solve: Help children process emotions without fixing everything for them. Offer Hints: Break down overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks. Read the Room: Consider factors like hunger, tiredness, and stress before responding to dysregulation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research shows that simple parent-led interventions can reduce gaming disorder and smartphone addiction in children by up to 60% in just six weeks. In this episode, clinician and researcher Dr Brad Marshall breaks down exactly what parents can do to help their children develop healthier relationships with technology, backed by groundbreaking new research from Macquarie University. Key Points: About 10% of Australian teens are experiencing problematic screen use and addiction. A study of 689 families revealed significant improvements in screen addiction through parent-led interventions. 60% of children with gaming disorder showed improvement after 6 weeks. 32% of children with smartphone addiction showed improvement after 6 weeks. Five key strategies were identified, with WiFi management being among the most effective. Quote of the Episode: "Parents can have a huge impact on how their kids do stuff online... even without any direct therapeutic intervention." Key Insights: Hardware-level controls are more effective than software-based parental controls. Sometimes parents need to implement boundaries before having conversations. Simple WiFi management strategies can be more effective than complex behavioural agreements. Managing mobile data plans is a crucial but longer-term intervention strategy. Parent-only interventions can be highly effective without direct child involvement. Personal Stories Shared: Brad shared his experience testifying before the Senate regarding social media age restrictions. Justin shared his perspective on occasionally needing to make executive decisions as a parent despite preferring collaborative approaches. Resources Mentioned: The Tech Diet for Your Child and Teen book Mesh router systems for WiFi management G-Mee phones (Australian smartphone for kids) Brad Marshall's website (The Unplugged Psychologist) Macquarie University research study on gaming disorder and smartphone addiction Action Steps for Parents: Implement home WiFi limits through mesh router systems. Place limits on mobile phone data plans Set clear boundaries around WiFi at bedtime. Consider hardware-level solutions rather than relying on software controls. Start with structural changes (WiFi/data management) before focusing on behavioural agreements. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes the most carefully crafted family schedules fall apart spectacularly - and that's perfectly normal. Today, we dive into what happens when the perfect plan meets reality, complete with school transitions, homeschool meltdowns, and endless interruptions. Plus, discover why investing in your relationship might be the secret weapon for weathering family chaos. This is real parenting, unfiltered and unvarnished. Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes no matter how well we think we've got everything put together, sometimes it just doesn't work. And it doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It just means that this was a hard week." Key Insights: Even the most meticulously planned schedules can fall apart when school routines change Major transitions (like switching from homeschool to traditional school) affect the whole family system Fresh starts are valuable opportunities to reset and try again Relationship investment between parents strengthens the whole family Couples can be completely different yet choose each other daily Shared experiences matter more than shared interests Regular date nights and new experiences can revitalize family life It's normal for plans to need adjustment when reality hits Resources Mentioned: Happy Families Newsletter (with new sections: I'm Reading, I'm Watching, I'm Listening, We're Doing) Lonesome Dove series Wicked (movie) Honestly podcast with Barry Weiss (MAHA episode) HappyFamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents: Accept that perfect plans often need adjustment - it's normal, not failure Schedule regular relationship-building activities with your partner Remember that fresh starts (like Monday mornings) are opportunities to reset See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Less is more when it comes to kids' parties. We tackle the thorny issue of birthday party politics in the modern age, from managing invite lists to handling the heartache when your child misses out. Discover why Gen Alpha parties have become more complicated than ever, and learn practical strategies for both hosting and handling party-related disappointments. Plus, find out why McDonald's parties in railway carriages aren't always the answer (just ask Justin!). Quote of the Episode: "Being invited to a birthday party is a privilege, and we should approach it with sensitivity because not everybody gets an invite." Key Insights: Smaller parties often create less social tension than large-scale events Modern party politics are particularly challenging for Gen Alpha children The more people invited, the more others expect to be included Classroom distribution of invitations can create unnecessary drama Digital invitations and teacher assistance can help maintain discretion When hosting, clear communication about party size helps manage expectations Missing out on parties can be a valuable teaching moment for empathy One-on-one celebrations can be a meaningful alternative to large parties Resources Mentioned: Mel Robbins' book "Let Them" happyfamilies.com.au Class WhatsApp groups for party planning Action Steps for Parents: Keep parties smaller and more intimate to reduce social pressure Use discrete methods for invitation distribution (through teachers, digital invites, or direct to parents) When your child isn't invited, focus on teaching resilience and empathy Consider creating special one-on-one celebrations as alternatives to large parties See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parents have been fighting the wrong battle in the screen time wars—and the most effective solution isn't about apps, contracts, or consequences at all. In this episode, Dr. Brad Marshall shares the surprisingly simple hardware-level intervention that reduced gaming disorder by 60% in just six weeks. Key Points: Managing home WiFi with set limits proved most effective in reducing screen addiction. Phone-level controls are second most effective but can be circumvented. Bedtime WiFi boundaries show significant impact. Traditional methods like contracts and consequences showed less effectiveness. Hardware-level solutions outperform software controls. Quote of the Episode: "What fuels all of these devices and their persuasive design and their addictive nature and their dopamine is the WiFi. We know that for a fact." Key Insights: Start with the strictest parameters when first giving devices. Focus on infrastructure control rather than behaviour management. Device-specific controls allow age-appropriate flexibility. Hardware solutions (like mesh routers) are more effective than software controls. Regular parent-child conversations about limits remain important. Resources Mentioned: G-mee Phones Mesh router systems Dr. Brad Marshall's research paper The Unplugged Psychologist website Incharge boxes for device storage Action Steps for Parents: Install a mesh router system for device-specific WiFi control. Set strict initial parameters when introducing new devices. Implement clear bedtime WiFi boundaries. Place limits on mobile data plans. Have regular conversations about screen time limits. Consider hardware solutions like G-Mee phones for younger children. Create device-free zones and times in the home. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Force creates resistance—especially with teenagers. In this essential episode, we reveal why your teen's silence might actually be normal and share proven strategies to rebuild connection without pushing them away. From the surprising effectiveness of parallel activities to the power of perfect timing, you'll discover how to create spaces where real conversations can naturally emerge. Plus, learn why traditional advice about "getting them to open up" might be exactly what's keeping them closed off. Quote of the Episode: "People say parenting is the hardest job in the world. It's not. Growing up is." - From Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Key Insights: By age 13, parents have completed 75-80% of their hands-on parenting. Teen emotional overwhelm can lead to communication shutdown. Side-by-side activities often work better than face-to-face conversations. Written communication can be an effective alternative for some teens. High emotions equal low intelligence—timing matters for important conversations. Developmental changes naturally shift influence from parents to peers. The importance of understanding vs. reprimanding when teens push back Resources Mentioned: "Miss Connection," a book about raising teenage girls Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Charles Duhigg interview (Episode 1160, January 25) HappyFamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents: Create opportunities for parallel activities instead of forcing direct conversations. Choose timing carefully—car rides, bedtime, or walks often work best. Consider alternative communication methods (like journaling) if verbal communication is difficult. Use deeper questions that go beyond "How was your day?" (e.g., "What are you looking forward to?" or "Who did you help today?") See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Your Child is Bullied: The Five Steps That Could Save Your ChildWith Australian students among the most bullied in the world and recent tragedies highlighting the devastating consequences, discover the research-backed five-step response plan that empowers children and gives parents practical tools to address bullying before it escalates. Key Points: 70% of Australian kids aged 12-13 experience bullying Australia leads Western nations in bullying incidents Clear definition of what constitutes actual bullying Status and power dynamics drive bullying behaviour. Five-step response plan for parents Quote of the Episode: "Trauma is not a result of the events that happen to you. It's a result of how you process those events." Key Insights: Difference between conflict and true bullying Four types of bullying (physical, verbal, social, cyber) High-status kids are more likely to bully than low-status Importance of documentation and proper reporting Role of mindset in managing bullying impact Resources Mentioned: Kids Helpline Parent Line Lifeline (13 11 14) Beyond Blue Professor Michael Bernard's research Action Steps for Parents: Listen and Validate: Believe your child's experience Show emotional support Avoid dismissing their feelings Make time to really hear them Document Everything: Keep written records Take screenshots Save evidence appropriately Note dates and details Involve Authorities: Report to school/organisation Work collaboratively with staff Follow up on actions taken Maintain communication Build Coping Skills: Develop positive mindset strategies Practice perspective-taking Strengthen self-worth Minimise social media exposure Seek Professional Help: Recognise when expert help is needed Access support services Consider counselling options Use available helplines See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want better bedtime routines? Start with wake-up time. In this eye-opening episode, we reveal why your morning routine is the secret weapon for achieving peaceful nights. Backed by fascinating neuroscience from Stanford's Andrew Huberman and real-world success stories, you'll discover how morning sunlight triggers a cascade of sleep-friendly hormones that can transform your family's entire day-night cycle. Plus, learn why letting your teens sleep in might actually be sabotaging their sleep schedule and how early risers show up to 23% better performance in morning classes. Quote of the Episode: "Exposure to morning sunlight triggers a cascade of hormones that regulate the entire day-night cycle." Key Insights: Your wake-up time sets your body's internal stopwatch for the entire day Teenagers naturally produce melatonin later than adults but still need 9-10 hours of sleep Weekend sleep-ins create a "mini jet-lag" effect that makes Monday mornings harder Morning sunlight exposure activates melanopsin-containing retinal cells that signal the brain's master clock Students with consistent wake times show up to 23% better performance on morning cognitive tests The brain consolidates learning during sleep, making regular sleep patterns crucial for academic success Modelling early rising as parents can naturally influence children to adopt better sleep habits Resources Mentioned: Andrew Huberman Podcast Stanford University research on circadian rhythms HappyFamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents: Establish a consistent wake-up time for the whole family Get outside for morning sunlight exposure immediately after waking Minimise screen time in the evening hours and keep bedtime consistent, even on weekends See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When the afternoon chaos of activities, homework, and commitments leaves everyone exhausted and frustrated, it's not your organisational skills that need work—it's your approach. Justin and Kylie reveal their game-changing strategy for transforming family schedules from overwhelming to manageable, including the one question that changes everything: "Does the schedule serve you, or do you serve the schedule?" Key Points: Why traditional scheduling often fails families The importance of regular family meetings How to experiment with different routines When and why to scale back activities The value of involving children in schedule decisions Quote of the Episode: "Does the schedule serve you, or do you serve the schedule?" - Justin Coulson Key Insights: Life is a series of experiments Children often recognise when they're overcommitted Family meetings give everyone a voice Routines need regular adjustment The best schedule is unique to each family Resources Mentioned: "Rethinking" by Adam Grant "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown happyfamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents: Schedule a family meeting List all current commitments Experiment with different routines Check in regularly about what's working Be willing to make changes when needed  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.