Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

It starts as a joke — “Mummy needs wine!” — but for many parents, that glass at the end of the day becomes more than just a meme. In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Dr Justin Coulson talks with author and “Sober Awkward” podcast host Victoria Vanstone about her journey from party girl to sober mum — and how she broke free from the culture that told her alcohol was the answer. This episode will challenge how you see drinking, motherhood, and what self-care really means. KEY POINTS: How alcohol became part of Victoria’s identity — and why it took motherhood to question it The emotional and social pressures behind “Mummy Wine Time” culture Why drinking in front of kids sends powerful hidden messages The quiet shame of “normal” drinking habits — and what to do if you’re starting to question yours The rise of “sober curious” parenting and what it looks like in real life QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It’s not really about alcohol. It’s about who you were before it — and who comes after it.” — Victoria Vanstone RESOURCES MENTIONED: A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone Mumming by Victoria Vanstone Podcast: Sober Awkward ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on the messages your kids receive when they see you drinking or joking about it. If you’re curious about cutting back, start with a “sober curious” mindset — it’s about questioning, not quitting. Talk to your partner or a trusted friend about how alcohol fits (or doesn’t fit) in your family life. Explore support options — books, podcasts, therapy, or sober communities — if alcohol feels like it’s taking more than it gives. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever wish you could talk to your kids about the big stuff — without it feeling awkward or heavy? In this episode, Justin and Kylie show you how to make tricky conversations a normal (and even fun) part of family life. From friendship dramas to body safety, honesty, and screens, discover how to help your kids open up, think deeply, and learn to navigate life with confidence. KEY POINTS: How to start having “tricky talks” — even with 5- and 7-year-olds Why weekly conversations build trust and emotional safety Conversation starters that aren’t awkward or forced Turning everyday moments into teachable moments The ultimate question every parent should ask their child QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Let your kids know there’s no topic that’s off limits. When they trust you with the little things, they’ll come to you with the big ones.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Relationship Rules and What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson Have a tricky parenting question? Ask us here. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Schedule a weekly 15-minute “tricky talk” with your kids. Start light — use silly “would you rather” questions to build comfort. Gradually introduce deeper topics like kindness, honesty, or friendship. Ask your child what they think before you give advice. Try a “parent performance appraisal” — ask your kids how loved and understood they feel. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child smashes a TV. Or floods the bathroom. Or writes off the car. What now? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of parenting’s trickiest questions: should our kids pay for the damage they cause? You’ll hear real family stories, a breakdown of natural vs logical consequences, and a powerful mindset shift that helps kids take ownership without shame — and keeps relationships intact. KEY POINTS Why “natural consequences” aren’t the same as punishment How to teach accountability without blame, guilt, or control The “OAR vs BED” principle: helping kids own mistakes and grow from them When (and how) to talk about reparations or paying for damages How to balance compassion, responsibility, and fairness QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about punishment. It’s about problem solving — together.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Membership 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson Entitled [Upcoming Live Webinar]  ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS When something breaks, pause before reacting. Ask: “What does my child need right now?” — not “What consequence fits this?” Guide your child toward ownership, accountability, and reparation. Keep the relationship more important than the thing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when you pour condensed milk instead of coconut milk into your family curry? Justin’s kitchen disaster could’ve ended in chaos—but instead, it became a story of laughter, grace, and doing better tomorrow. In this heartwarming (and hilarious) episode, Justin and Kylie share their biggest parenting fails—from theme park terrors to dinner gone wrong—and reveal the secret ingredient that makes family life truly happy. KEY POINTS Why laughter is essential for a happy home How to turn small failures into powerful family memories The psychology of fear (and what a rollercoaster taught Kylie about courage) Justin’s sweet-but-sour curry disaster: a lesson in humility and humour The real reason “doing better tomorrow” matters more than getting it right today QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “If you want to have a happy family, you’ve got to laugh. Laughter makes family life happy.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Podcast: Why Exam Results Don’t Define Your Child — or Their Future Article: The Exam Pressure Trap: How to Help Your Teen Without Adding to Their Stress Justin Coulson’s Book: 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Find the funny — When family life feels messy, look for a reason to laugh. Model grace — Mistakes are moments to connect, not criticise. Try again tomorrow — The best families aren’t perfect; they just keep showing up. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you ever feel like there’s never enough time — this episode is your deep breath. Justin and Kylie unpack the idea of “time abundance” — how to slow life down when the to-do list never ends. From the psychology of feeling rushed to practical ways to reclaim calm, this is your permission slip to stop racing and start living with more space, energy, and joy. KEY POINTS Most of us undervalue our time — we tick off easy tasks instead of what truly matters. Protecting your time doesn’t mean saying no to family; it means saying yes intentionally. Feeling time-rich comes from being mindful in the moment, not just managing the clock. Giving your time to others actually makes you feel like you have more time. Buy yourself back time when you can — small choices (like grocery delivery or help with chores) reduce pressure and create calm. Scrolling isn’t rest. True breaks come from presence, connection, and purpose. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t build a relationship watching the clock.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Jackie Nesi’s Techno Sapiens Substack: Article on Time Abundance Happy Families Membership — for more ways to live lighter and connect deeper ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Block time out for what matters most — and guard it fiercely. Be mindful in your moments of rest; let your brain actually stop. Give time to others — kindness expands your sense of time. Buy back time where possible; trade dollars for breathing space. Ditch the doom scroll. Choose real rest over digital distraction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Teens are forming emotional bonds — not just online, but with AI companions. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson talks with Brown University psychologist Dr Jacqueline Nesi, author of Techno Sapiens, about the fast-growing world of AI “friendships” and what they mean for kids’ mental health. They also unpack Jackie’s latest research revealing how often teens check their phones — and how it’s shaping their moods. It’s a must-listen for parents navigating the blurred lines between connection, distraction, and dependence in the digital age. KEY POINTS 72% of teens have used an AI companion; over half use one regularly. AI chatbots are designed to keep kids engaged — often prioritising screen time over wellbeing. For some vulnerable kids, AI chats can feel like friendship or therapy — but they aren’t replacements for real connection. Australia’s new social-media age-limit laws may help, but implementation and design flaws remain. Teens check their phones an average of 112 times a day — once every 10 minutes! Frequent phone checking is linked with greater emotional ups and downs. Teens who are less mindful tend to reach for their phones more after bad days — using screens as emotional regulation tools. What matters most: how kids use technology and who they are, not just how much. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The effects of smartphones on mood and wellbeing are complicated — it’s not that phones are simply bad, it’s about who’s using them and how.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Techno Sapiens – Dr Jacqueline Nesi’s Substack Tech Without Stress – Resources for parents Happy Families – More parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask your kids how they use AI or chatbots — listen before you lecture. Check your family’s phone “pickups” using Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing. Practise mindfulness together — simple breathing, no-tech walks, or screen-free meals. Talk about emotional regulation — help kids notice when they’re using tech to cope. Model balance — show that your phone doesn’t rule you either. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s happening in classrooms everywhere — groups of 10- and 11-year-old girls suddenly identifying as lesbian or non-binary. Parents are confused, scared to say the wrong thing, and desperate to understand what’s driving it. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the growing trend of early identity labels, how sexualised content and peer influence shape confusion, and what parents can do to respond calmly, wisely, and with compassion. This conversation isn’t about labels — it’s about protecting childhood and keeping connection strong through one of the hardest parenting conversations of our time. KEY POINTS: Why clusters of identity declarations in tweens are often driven by social contagion, not self-discovery. How pornography, anime, and online content are confusing kids about sexuality. The crucial difference between a physiological response and actual orientation. Why automatic affirmation can harm — and what supportive curiosity looks like. Setting firm, loving screen boundaries to protect emotional and sexual development. Helping kids feel safe in uncertainty, without locking in an identity. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our kids don’t need labels at 11. They need parents who can hold space for curiosity without rushing to define them.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Podcast – Submit a Question Miss-Connection by Dr Justin Coulson Australian Psychological Society guidelines on gender and identity ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Limit exposure – No unsupervised screens or smart devices for under-13s. Stay curious, not panicked – Ask open questions like “What made you start thinking that?” Teach body literacy – Help kids understand physiological responses vs orientation. Normalise uncertainty – Remind them it’s okay not to know who they are yet. Stay connected – Keep talking, keep listening, keep calm. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Exam season is here — and with it, a tidal wave of pressure, late nights, and panic. But what if we’ve got it all wrong? In this short, punchy episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share six powerful reminders to help your teen (and you!) survive exam stress with perspective, calm, and even joy. From why your ATAR doesn’t define your worth to why sleep, exercise, and connection matter more than cramming — this is the reality check every parent needs right now. KEY POINTS: You are not your ATAR: Exams don’t measure intelligence, potential, or worth. Brains need breaks: Good sleep, nutrition, and exercise fuel real learning. Remembering requires forgetting: Relearning builds stronger memory. Connection over cramming: Fun, laughter, and time with loved ones reduce anxiety. Take a gap year: Exploration and “range” lead to deeper purpose and long-term success. Perspective is everything: In two years, none of this will matter as much as it feels now. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You are not your ATAR. In two years, no one’s going to care — and you’ll be just fine.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Range by David Epstein Join the waitlist to hear all the news on Justin's new book "Boys" The Art of Manliness A HF conversation with Amy Dyer on gap years & the real path to success after school ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Keep routines steady — protect your teen’s sleep, meals, and downtime. Encourage short study bursts, spaced repetition, and daily movement. Talk about why effort matters more than marks. Model calm and perspective — your energy sets the tone. Start conversations about gap years, growth, and finding direction beyond exams. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever had your child melt down because it’s time to leave somewhere fun? In this heartwarming episode, Justin and Kylie share the tearful goodbyes, the bike crashes, and the surprising wisdom that came from an 11-year-old who just didn’t want the holiday to end. It’s a story about empathy, growing up, and remembering that sometimes… we all just want to stay a little longer. KEY POINTS: Why revisiting familiar places can be deeply meaningful for families How empathy—not logic—helps calm big emotions in kids The hidden benefits of letting grandparents “spoil” their grandkids Why parents (even parenting experts!) still have emotional moments of their own How shared stories can defuse tension and strengthen connection QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Empathy and perspective are powerful. They stop you from getting mad at the kids and help you join them in their suffering.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know — Dr Justin Coulson The Happy Families Newsletter – sign up via form on the website ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: When your child resists leaving, start with empathy before explanation. Share a relatable story from your own life—it helps kids feel seen. Let grandparents be the “soft place to land”—then gently re-establish home routines. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys are falling behind in reading — and the consequences are staggering. In this episode, we share an excerpt from Your Kid’s Next Read podcast with Allison Tait, Megan Daley, Matt Stanton and Dr Justin Coulson unpacking the crisis in boys’ literacy. From screen addiction to motivation, we explore why reading has lost its spark for boys — and how parents can bring stories back to life at home. You can listen to the full conversation here: Boys and Reading. KEY POINTS: Reading rates are plummeting across the board — but boys are struggling most. The literacy gap between boys and girls now equals a full academic year by Year 9. Why screens are hijacking boys’ brains — and how to reset attention spans. The 3 ingredients that make kids want to read: autonomy, competence, and connection. Why dads matter most — boys become readers when they see men reading. The power of reading with your kids, not just telling them to read. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “For boys to love reading, they’ve got to see men who love reading.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Your Kid’s Next Read podcast with Allison Tait & Megan Daley Raising Readers by Megan Daley Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Model reading — let your kids catch you with a book. Choose connection over correction — read with them, not at them. Follow their interests — comics, sports magazines, or game guides still count. Build confidence — help your child feel capable with age-appropriate reads. Make it social — talk about stories, characters, and favourite moments. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.