Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

One-on-one time transforms parent-child relationships, but finding that time can seem impossible. Discover the revolutionary monthly date system that's helping parents create deeper connections with each child—and why being truly present matters more than what you actually do together. Key Points: Monthly one-on-one dates based on birth date Importance of intentional planning vs spontaneous moments Value of side-by-side conversations Impact of being fully present vs autopilot parenting How structured time leads to deeper conversations Quote of the Episode: "The definition of love is bearing witness to one another's lives." Key Insights: Advance planning makes experiences more meaningful Side-by-side activities encourage natural conversation Removing distractions deepens connection Multiple possible futures reduce anxiety about paths Intentional time creates space for vulnerable conversations Resources Mentioned: Laura King's research on "best possible future self" Monthly birthday date system concept Broaden perspectives on career/life paths Calendar blocking for intentional connection Action Steps for Parents: Schedule Monthly Dates: Mark each child's birth date on calendar Plan activities in advance Make them non-negotiable appointments Customise for each child's interests Create Quality Experiences: Remove distractions (phones, etc.) Choose side-by-side activities Allow natural conversation flow Make it special but not elaborate Be Fully Present: Practice active listening Avoid problem-solving mode Focus on connection over correction Create space for deeper sharing See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Private school rankings are splashed across the headlines, and parents everywhere are left asking: Am I failing my child if I stay public? With fees soaring above $45,000 a year, the pressure is real — but what does the research actually say? In this episode, Justin and Kylie cut through the marketing hype to reveal what truly matters for your child’s learning and wellbeing — and why “better” doesn’t always mean what you think. KEY POINTS The truth about test scores What parents are really buying with high fees Why teachers matter more than facilities or class size The “proximity principle”: belonging, friendships, and community trump prestige How investing school fees differently could transform your child’s future QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You can’t buy inspiration. It’s not about school fees — it’s about the teacher who lights up your child’s curiosity.” RESOURCES Research on school belonging (Kelly & Allen, University of Melbourne) https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/singlesex-schools-as-australias-top-100-private-schools-named/news-story/78fc2ed6b3807cbf6f44035d768c5c87 Harvard economist Raj Chetty’s study on teacher impact See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you get kids to love reading in a world of screens and short attention spans? In this warm and practical conversation, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with one of Australia’s most beloved authors — and current Children’s Laureate — Sally Rippin. Together they explore why connection matters more than comprehension, how to support struggling readers, and the simple, joyful ways families can bring books back to life at home. You’ll hear: Why “all kids can be readers” (even reluctant ones) How neuroscience is changing the way we teach reading The role of modelling and family rituals in raising readers Why choice and curiosity keep kids engaged The surprising power of reading together — at any age QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“There’s no better way to help kids fall in love with reading than for them to fall in love with you while you read together.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES Sally Rippin, Australian Children’s Laureate Sally’s books: School of Monsters, Billy B. Brown, and more Interview with Sally: A Rippin Good Read Happy Families See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you say to a child who’s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You’ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort — without minimising their grief or making false promises. KEY POINTS Multiple losses and cumulative grief  Why bedtime can trigger fears Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances Following your child’s lead How to create closure for your child QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “What your child needs most isn’t for their fear to disappear — it’s to feel truly seen and understood in it.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES Understanding Grief in Children - Sage Journals Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety Helping Kids Cope with Grief - a Conversation with Kristy Thomas Cumulative Grief - Dr Bill Webster The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual. Be present in the moment. Follow their emotional lead. Use comfort objects. Create closure rituals. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child says, “I want to quit.” Soccer. Piano. Swimming. Art. Should you let them? There’s a magic confidence threshold in every skill - and most kids give up just before they reach it. In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why kids quit, the role of motivation and relationships, and how to help them push through frustration without forcing them into misery. You’ll learn how to balance empathy with encouragement so your child develops grit, resilience, and the joy of mastery. KEY POINTS Every skill has a “confidence threshold” — the point where hard work starts to feel rewarding. Kids often want to quit in the “valley” before reaching this threshold. Motivation matters: autonomy and relationships increase persistence. Plateaus in progress are normal and often occur right before breakthroughs. Distress tolerance is a life skill - avoiding discomfort robs kids of resilience-building experiences. Angela Duckworth’s “Don’t quit on a hard day” rule helps kids make decisions in a calm emotional state. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “When we rescue kids from every struggle, we rob them of the chance to discover they’re more resilient than they think.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Angela Duckworth’s research on grit The Dunedin Study  Dr Justin Coulson’s “Anti-Fragile” resilience keynotes ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Check the motivation – Was this activity your child’s choice or yours? Aim for the threshold – Encourage them to reach basic competence before deciding to quit. Build social connections – Support involvement where friendships are part of the activity. Talk about plateaus – Normalise slow progress and help them see it’s temporary. Adopt the “hard day” rule – No quitting right after a loss or tough session. Sit with discomfort – Model staying calm and present when challenges arise. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Screens often get a bad rap — and for good reason. But what if the problem isn’t the technology itself, but how we use it? In this heartwarming episode, Justin and Kylie share two powerful reminders: first, how intentional screen use (like FaceTiming with grandparents) can boost connection, vocabulary, and joy for kids; and second, why the “little moments” in family life are actually the big ones. KEY POINTS Why screens aren’t the enemy when used with purpose. Real-life example: FaceTime as a bridge between grandparents and grandkids. How small daily interactions (smiles, greetings, cuddles) create deep bonds. The research-backed link between physical touch and team success — and why it matters for families. The importance of slowing down to cherish moments, even in busy weeks. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "The little things actually are the big things." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Use technology like a toothbrush — as a tool for connection, not distraction. Encourage kids to FaceTime or video call grandparents regularly. Look for “small moments” of connection each day — greetings, cuddles, high-fives. Be intentional about physical touch to boost connection and wellbeing. Even when busy, pause to notice and enjoy the joy on your child’s face. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Half of Aussie kids say they’ve been bullied in the past year — and for some, it’s relentless. If your child is caught in the middle of it, you can feel powerless, worried, and desperate for answers. In this powerful conversation, Professor Donna Cross shares a simple but life-changing 4-step approach to help your child feel heard, supported, and in control — plus what to try when you’ve “done it all” and nothing changes. You’ll learn: The hidden signs your child is struggling (and what not to miss) Why face-to-face bullying is still more common than cyberbullying The LATE model — a simple framework to guide every conversation Why walking or sitting side-by-side helps kids open up How to help when the bullying won’t stop — even after trying everything When changing schools is worth considering (and how to make it work)   QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Don’t take the wheel — take the ride. Let your child lead the conversation so they keep their sense of control."   RESOURCES MENTIONED Part 1 of our interview with Professor Donna Cross. Friendly Schools - An evidence-based whole-school approach to social & emotional wellbeing & bullying prevention. Bullying No Way - Professional learning resources. Professor Donna Cross’s research on bullying prevention and intervention Happy Families resources on bullying When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [HF Article] Rebecca Sparrow's friendship resources for parents and kids (Australia's "Friendship Whisperer") Rebecca Sparrow's friendship resources for schools and educators No Bullying Week: "Be Bold. Be Kind. Speak Up." Kid's Helpline for Bullying Spotlight on cyberbullying - a resource for schools The eSafety Commissioner's Guide to Cyberbullying Webinars for schools - designed for 3/4 and 5/6 students (Bullying No Way 2025)   ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Watch for warning signs — changes in mood, friendships, or routines. Use the LATE approach when your child opens up.  L – Listen without rushing to take over. A – Acknowledge the hurt (“That sounds really tough”). T – Talk about options, letting your child lead the ideas. E – End with encouragement and keep the door open for future talks. Role-play tricky situations to build your child’s confidence and coping skills. Engage the school early and keep them informed — especially during transitions. Encourage bystander support skills in your child’s friendship group. If necessary, consider a school change — but plan supports to prevent the bullying from following them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bullying doesn’t just hurt feelings — it can rewire a child’s brain. In this powerful conversation for No Bullying Week, I speak with Professor Donna Cross, one of Australia’s leading bullying experts, about the profound short- and long-term impacts of bullying, why some children are targeted, and the surprising protective factors that can help shield kids from harm. You’ll learn what’s really going on in the minds of both bullies and their targets — and how parents can build a network of support that keeps kids safer at school and online. KEY POINTS Bullying can trigger long-term neurological and genetic changes through repeated stress responses. Effects can be similar to those seen in children experiencing abuse. High-risk factors for being bullied include loneliness, visible differences, lack of supportive bystanders, and not being well known or liked by teachers. Protective factors include multiple friendship groups, strong peer relationships, a culture of kindness, and supportive school environments. Social and physical environments — from seating arrangements to equipment availability — can influence bullying dynamics. Parents can play a key role by facilitating diverse friendship opportunities and monitoring online activity. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Probably the most protective factor is your child’s relationships with other young people — especially having multiple friendship groups." – Professor Donna Cross RESOURCES Professor Donna Cross’s research and publications Happy Families resources on bullying prevention and response When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [HF Article] Rebecca Sparrow (Australia's "Friendship Whisperer") - resources for parents and kids to help build, repair, and strengthen friendships.  Friendship resources for schools and educators from Rebecca Sparrow. No Bullying Week: "Be Bold. Be Kind. Speak Up." Kid's Helpline for Bullying Spotlight on cyberbullying - a resource for schools The eSafety Commissioner's Guide to Cyberbullying ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Help your child build multiple, diverse friendship groups. Encourage empathy and kindness at home and in school conversations. Partner with your child’s school to promote a positive social environment. Teach your child how to respond calmly to provocation. Monitor and guide your child’s online interactions to reduce cyberbullying risk. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you talk to your child about a terminal illness in the family? What if it’s not your family, but your best friend's—and you want to support both their kids and your own? In today’s heart-wrenching episode, Justin and Kylie tackle one of the toughest parenting challenges: helping children navigate the looming death of a loved one. With compassion, honesty, and practical wisdom, they share how to approach these conversations—and how to show up when words aren’t enough. KEY POINTS: Be honest with children in age-appropriate ways—truth helps, secrecy hurts. Children need predictability: keep routines and rituals where possible. Acknowledge emotions—yours and theirs. Say “I feel sad too.” When supporting a grieving friend, show up practically. Don’t ask, just do. Teach your child how to be a caring friend: “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you.” Offer your home as a safe place for affected children to rest and just be kids. Model empathy, presence, and consistency—not just for the family in crisis, but for your child watching. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "I don’t know what to say, but I care about you." — Teach this to your child, and say it yourself. It matters. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website (submit your question here) Has Screen Use Crossed the Line in Your Home? - With Brad Marshall ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Speak to your child about serious illness honestly and age-appropriately. Keep routines and rituals in place to provide stability. Validate and model emotional expression: let your child see that it’s okay to be sad, angry, or confused. Help your child support their friend with care, not pressure. Offer practical help to grieving families—meals, transport, child-minding—without needing to be asked. Let your home be a haven for kids who are carrying heavy emotional loads. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us think we know what to do when our child is being bullied—stand up to the bully, teach resilience, demand punishment. But what if those responses are making things worse? In this No Bullying Week episode, Justin and Kylie bust the myths around bullying and offer counterintuitive, compassionate, and powerful alternatives. Discover what actually works to support kids being bullied—and how to raise kids who don’t become bullies in the first place. KEY POINTS: If Your Child Is Being Bullied: Stop telling kids to “stand up” to bullies. This victim-blaming advice ignores power dynamics and often escalates harm. Avoid framing bullying as “character-building” or a “resilience opportunity.” Bullying is trauma. It’s not a test of toughness. Don’t demand punishment. Zero-tolerance and “make them pay” approaches often backfire. The system needs repair—not retribution. To Prevent Your Child from Bullying: Watch for “dominance in disguise.” When we reward confidence or competitiveness without checking the impact on others, we may be reinforcing bullying. Reflect on your parenting style. Harsh, authoritarian parenting models the very power-over behaviour we’re trying to prevent. Go beyond “treat others how you want to be treated.” Help kids develop real empathy by guiding them to reflect on how others feel. Bonus: Get your kids involved in service. Nothing builds empathy like helping others in need. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our job isn’t to make kids bounce back from abuse. Our job is to make sure the abuse doesn’t happen in the first place.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [Article] National Centre Against Bullying Conference Wall Street Journal article on the parenting pendulum Bullying No Way: A National Week of Action ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Work with the school: Ask for systemic solutions, not quick punishments. Validate your child’s pain: Listen, believe, and support—without trying to “toughen them up.” Model empathy and connection at home: Choose collaboration over control. Encourage service and perspective-taking: Real-world connection builds character better than lectures ever could. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.