Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

When we change environments to support neurodivergent children, everyone benefits. In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Adam Guastella from Sydney Children's Hospital, discover why viewing autism as a 'disorder' might be missing the point, and learn how the right support systems can transform outcomes. Plus, understand why insufficient support leads to troubling patterns of bullying and underachievement. Quote of the Episode: "When people have changed environments to be more inclusive to support children with autism and other neurodevelopmental needs, those environments are really good for everyone." Key Insights: Focus should be on changing environments, not just children. Inclusive environments benefit all children. Support needs are both environmental and individual. Better support leads to better educational outcomes. Lack of support correlates with higher bullying rates. Academic underachievement often relates to poor support. Professional collaboration improves outcomes. Early intervention and support are crucial. Resources Mentioned: Sydney Children's Hospital at Westmead Brain and Mind Centre, University of Sydney Self-Determination Theory research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Focus on environmental adaptations that support learning. Build collaborative relationships with support services. Ensure appropriate support systems are in place early. Look for ways to create inclusive spaces that benefit everyone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Should pocket money be linked to chores? What about paying for good grades? From savings percentages to spending rules, discover why traditional pocket money wisdom might be wrong, and learn a value-based approach that actually works. Plus, find out why regular money conversations matter more than any system you choose. Quote of the Episode: "Money is just a store of value, and the conversation really should move away from money to how am I adding value in the world?" Key Insights: Pocket money should be independent of chores. Paying for grades can decrease intrinsic motivation. The Three S's: Spend, Save, Support. Financial conversations matter more than systems. Value creation should precede money focus. Forced savings can build positive habits. Regular money discussions enhance financial literacy Stretch goals encourage saving behaviour Resources Mentioned: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel [affiliate link] Happy Families newsletter Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Separate pocket money from household responsibilities. Implement the Three S's system (Spend, Save, Support). Have regular conversations about money and value creation. Set achievable saving goals with matching incentives. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From classic works to cutting-edge neuroscience, discover the books that have shaped modern parenting wisdom. Join Dr Justin Coulson as he shares his carefully curated list of game-changing parenting books, including why each one matters and how they can transform your family life. Plus, hear Kylie's surprising take on which books might matter most of all. Quote of the Episode: "When I think about the kind of parent that I aspire to be, those two books have had more influence in my life than all the other books combined." Key Insights: Great parenting often comes from continuous learning Different books serve different parenting stages and challenges Some classics remain relevant despite their age Picture books can be as influential as academic texts Cultural perspectives offer valuable parenting insights Understanding child development enhances parenting approach Expert knowledge needs to be balanced with practical application Scientific understanding of child development continues to evolve Resources Mentioned: (NB. These are affiliate links) Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour Act Natural by Jennifer Traig Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff The Myth of the Spoiled Child by Alfie Kohn Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler The Teenage Brain by Frances Jensen I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maureen Adamek Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney Action Steps for Parents: Start with one book that addresses your current parenting challenge Balance academic texts with accessible, practical guides Consider including children's books in your parenting resource library Make regular time for parenting education through reading See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How much sleep do kids really need? From caffeine myths to screen time truths, sleep specialist Dr Moyra Vandeleur from Royal Children's Hospital unpacks the latest research on children's sleep. Learn why teens naturally stay up late, whether weekend sleep-ins matter, and what the science really says about warm milk before bed. Quote of the Episode: "Sleep, diet and exercise are the three pillars of health - and sleep has only recently been recognized as equally important." Key Insights: Recommended sleep varies by age: Toddlers (1-3): 12-14 hours Preschoolers (3-6): 10-12 hours Primary school (5-12): 10-11 hours Teenagers (13-18): 8-10 hours Individual sleep needs vary Quality, quantity and pattern all matter Teen biology naturally shifts sleep timing later Caffeine affects sleep for about six hours Regular exercise improves sleep quality Screen time before bed doubles sleep difficulties Snoring more than three nights weekly needs medical attention Resources Mentioned: Royal Children's Hospital National Child Health Poll Sleep guidelines Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Create Screen-Free Wind Down No screens one hour before bed Establish relaxing routines Keep consistent bedtimes Monitor Stimulants Limit caffeine, especially after lunch Watch for hidden caffeine sources Exercise earlier in the day Get Medical Help If: Child seems tired despite adequate sleep Regular snoring occurs Sleep problems persist despite good habits See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From a ten-year-old willingly trying alfalfa sprouts to teenagers singing while doing dishes, discover how indirect approaches can transform family challenges. Learn why leaving a book about gut bacteria lying around might work better than years of mealtime battles, and how a simple word game can turn kitchen clean-up into family fun. Quote of the Episode: "Force creates resistance. When you try to make kids eat, as we have for so many years... but instead, she reads it in a book and she's willing to give it a crack because she feels like she's in the driver's seat." Key Insights: Indirect approaches often work better than direct instruction Strategic placement of resources can spark interest Games can make chores disappear into the background Family participation makes tasks more enjoyable Children teach themselves when given the right resources Time and patience often yield better results than pressure Fun and connection matter more than task completion Siblings can create effective solutions Resources Mentioned: The Friends You Don't Know You Have by Laney and Jordan Oldfield Word Association game for family chores Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: For Picky Eaters Place helpful resources where children will find them Allow self-directed discovery Celebrate willing experimentation For Family Chores Create games that involve everyone Focus on fun rather than task completion Use music and creativity to engage participation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when researchers analyze 238 studies spanning 51 years and 38 countries? They discover one consistent truth: autonomy support leads to thriving kids, while psychological control leads to struggling ones. Learn why guilt, shame and coercion damage child wellbeing, and discover the three practical steps to becoming a more supportive parent. Plus, understand why this holds true across all cultures and age groups. Quote of the Episode: "If you want to be a great parent, and there was one variable that mattered more than anything else, this is it. It's about autonomy support." Key Insights: Meta-analysis covered 238 studies across 51 years Research included 126,000 participants from 38 countries Results consistent across cultures and age groups Psychological control leads to maladaptive perfectionism Control linked to depression 12 months later Reducing control improves academic performance Findings apply from toddlers through adolescence Three types of control: autonomy support, psychological control, and behavioral control Resources Mentioned: Emma Bradshaw's meta-analysis study The Parenting Revolution book University of Sydney research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Explore: Take your child's perspective and understand their viewpoint Explain: Provide clear rationales for rules and limits Empower: Work together to develop frameworks and boundaries See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research from the National Child Health Poll reveals surprising statistics about children's sleep, including why 42% of kids have sleep problems and why parents' beliefs about teen sleep might be wrong. Learn why screen time isn't actually helping kids wind down, how caffeine affects sleep patterns, and discover the biology behind why teenagers really do struggle to wake up early. Quote of the Episode: "While we're exhausted at 8:30, teenagers are still good to go at 9:00, 9:30 - that's when melatonin starts to kick in." Key Insights: 42% of children have sleep pattern problems 47% of parents wrongly believe screens help wind down Caffeine after lunch doubles sleep difficulties Teen biology affects sleep timing Melatonin production differs between teens and adults Regular sleep patterns matter more than total hours Screen use disrupts natural sleep cycles Sleep routines remain important for all ages Resources Mentioned: National Child Health Poll Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: No Screens Before Bed Implement one-hour screen-free period Remove devices from bedrooms Establish Sleep Hygiene Consistent bedtime Regular wake time Cool, dark, quiet bedroom Create Bedtime Routines Age-appropriate wind-down activities Consistent patterns Calming environment See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child begging for makeup while you're desperately trying to preserve their innocence? From church on Sundays to everyday requests, the makeup debate touches deep parental fears about growing up too fast. Discover why parents really resist early makeup use, and learn a practical three-step approach to handling this delicate issue. Plus, hear how six daughters taught these parents that sometimes the biggest parenting battles aren't worth fighting after all. Quote of the Episode: "Making a big deal about makeup is perhaps a bit unnecessary - we've learned not to sweat the small stuff." Key Insights: Most parental concerns about makeup stem from fears about premature maturity Research shows resistance often comes from conservative backgrounds Parents worry about beauty standards and self-worth connections The more parents resist, the more appealing makeup becomes Force creates resistance in these situations Family rules evolve with experience and understanding The Three E's approach works well for makeup discussions Context and motivation matter more than specific age limits Resources Mentioned: Beauty Sick by Renée Engeln [affiliate link] Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey [affiliate link] Miss Connection Summit Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Explore: Get curious about your child's real motivation Explain: Share your values and concerns openly Empower: Work together on solutions that respect both perspectives See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever cringed at a recording of your own voice? Imagine watching your daily parenting played back on video. In this raw and honest episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares how a humbling surfing experience revealed the game-changing power of self-awareness in parenting. Discover why 95% of parents think they're self-aware (but only 10-15% actually are), and learn the three practical steps to close your own self-awareness gap. Warning: might involve some uncomfortable truths! Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes our most uncomfortable moments of self-awareness become our greatest opportunities for transformation." Key Insights: Only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, despite 95% thinking they are Self-aware parents show improved emotional awareness of themselves and their children Video feedback leads to significant improvements in parenting behaviours Small, focused improvements are more effective than trying to fix everything at once Regular feedback and reflection are crucial for growth Self-awareness impacts relationship quality with children The gap between perceived and actual parenting skills often requires objective feedback Incremental improvements lead to sustainable change Resources Mentioned: Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness Research on video feedback in parenting Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Create Your Own "Surf Video Moment" Record interactions with children Ask for specific feedback from family members Be prepared for initial discomfort Ask the "What's One Thing?" Question Seek specific, focused feedback daily Make improvements manageable Focus on one area at a time Practice Daily Reflection Spend 5 minutes journaling each evening Note one positive interaction and one area for improvement Track progress over time See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance. Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning." Key Insights: Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks. Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring. Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising. Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually. Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction. Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels. Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles. Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed. Resources Mentioned: Fair Play cards system Goldie app for managing school communications University of Melbourne research Misperceived podcast Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram) Action Steps for Parents: Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.