Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

This episode isn’t like our usual Thursday chats. Today, we’re unboxing something that could genuinely change — or even save — lives. It’s not about us. It’s about a cause close to our hearts: men’s mental health and suicide prevention. After losing our nephew to suicide in 2023, this mission became deeply personal. Join us as we unpack the Gotcha For Life Men's Care Box — a collaboration between Gotcha For Life and Chemist Warehouse. For just $20, you get over $100 worth of products, and every single cent supports suicide prevention efforts. Hear what's inside, why it matters, and how this simple purchase could help someone you love. KEY POINTS: A Personal Story: The heartbreaking loss of Justin’s nephew to suicide in 2023 reshaped their family and their conversations forever. Gotcha For Life's Mission: Aiming to reduce suicide to zero by fostering meaningful connections and conversations. The Men’s Care Box: $20 at Chemist Warehouse, packed with over $100 worth of self-care items. Every Dollar Helps: 100% of proceeds go directly to Gotcha For Life’s mental fitness initiatives. Why It Matters: A simple gesture — like gifting this box — reminds the men in your life that they are seen, valued, and loved. The Bike Analogy: We often see people moving through life like a bike’s headlight in the dark — not realising how hard they’re pedalling just to stay afloat. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “We see the light—that’s a life. But we don’t see how hard someone is pedalling underneath to stay afloat.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Gotcha For Life – Mental fitness programs and support. Gotcha For Life Men’s Care Box – Available at Chemist Warehouse (while stocks last). Happy Families – Resources for a happier family. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Buy a Box: Head to Chemist Warehouse and grab a Gotcha For Life Men's Care Box — for yourself, or for someone who needs a reminder that they matter. Check In: Reach out to a mate. Ask how they're really going. Start a meaningful conversation. Look for the Pedalling: Pay attention to the people around you — even those who seem like they’re doing fine. Explore Mental Fitness: Check out Gotcha For Life’s resources to strengthen your own mental fitness and support those around you. Normalise Vulnerability: Model open, honest conversations with your children about emotions, struggle, and seeking help. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if stress isn’t the enemy… but the training ground? In this sneak peek of our powerful conversation with former SAS soldier and leadership expert Tim Curtis, we unpack the real role of stress in our lives—and how it can actually help our kids grow. Tim reveals the four essential layers of resilience every child (and adult) needs to thrive—and the surprisingly simple shifts that build strength from the inside out. This episode will change the way you see stress—and empower you to raise kids who can do hard things. KEY POINTS: Stress is not always bad – the right amount (as explained by the Yerkes-Dodson Law) boosts performance and growth. Avoidance reinforces anxiety – but action activates growth. Emotions are signals, not enemies – they give us guidance if we listen. The 4 Layers of Resilience: Mind – mindset, mindfulness, meditation Body – sleep, diet, exercise Social – support systems and connection Professional – competence, confidence, contribution (including parenting as a profession) Building resilience is less about shielding kids and more about supporting them as they stretch and grow. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "There’s no triumph without trial."– Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Tim Curtis’s upcoming book: Building Resilient Kids Yerkes-Dodson Law (on stress and performance) Happy Families resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Normalise stress – Talk to your kids about stress as something useful, not something to avoid. Teach emotion awareness – Help your child understand emotions as helpful signals. Strengthen all four layers – Encourage routines that support body, mind, relationships, and purpose. Model resilience – Let your kids see you navigating difficulty with action, not avoidance. Lean into the hard stuff – Gently support your child through challenges instead of rescuing them from discomfort. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“It’s really hard to be happier than your unhappiest child.” When one child is battling mental health challenges, the whole family feels the weight. In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Kylie answer a powerful question from a mum of four: How do I help my younger kids cope as their older brother struggles with depression? This episode is a must-listen for families navigating the emotional ripple effects of mental health struggles. With deep compassion and practical insight, the Coulsons explore how parents can support siblings through confusion, grief, and change—without losing themselves in the process. KEY POINTS: Acknowledge the Grief: Siblings often feel like they’ve “lost” their brother—even though he’s still physically there. Challenge Unhelpful Stories: Gently correct thoughts like “It’s my fault” or “He doesn’t love me anymore.” Explain Simply & Honestly: Offer age-appropriate explanations without going into detail or glossing over pain. Give Permission to Feel Joy: Let siblings know they don’t have to walk on eggshells or suppress happiness. Empower Them to Help: Involve siblings in small, non-burdensome acts of kindness to build connection and hope. Reinforce Connection: Help your struggling child feel included without pressure or guilt. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “No matter how angry you are, no matter how sad you are, our love for you is bigger than what you're feeling right now.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: HappyFamilies.com.au – for parenting support and podcast submissions. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Talk About It: Start a family conversation that names the reality and reassures: “This isn’t about you. This is something your brother is going through. And we’re in it together.” Model Calm Love: Your children are watching how you respond. Demonstrating patience and compassion teaches them resilience and loyalty. Create Joyful Moments: Take siblings out of the house for fun, connection, and relief from emotional tension. Invite Micro-Acts of Connection: Encourage simple, no-pressure gestures like watching a movie together or sharing a meme. Build Your Village: As a parent, find someone to support you—you don’t have to carry this alone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you carrying the mental and emotional load of parenting solo—even though you have a partner? You're not imagining it. You're not alone. And it doesn't have to stay this way. In this episode of the Happy Families podcast, Justin and Kylie dive into one of the most common (and quietly painful) challenges parents face: feeling like you're parenting alone in a relationship. With warmth, realism, and practical insight, we share four powerful—but gentle—ways to invite your partner back into the parenting picture. Whether you’re feeling unheard, unsupported, or just out of sync, these small steps can lead to big transformation. KEY POINTS: Appreciation Inventory: What we focus on grows. Before you confront, notice. Daily acknowledgements of your partner’s efforts—even small ones—can shift the dynamic. Collaborative Conversations: Use the three E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) not just with kids, but with each other. Invite, don’t assign. Gradual Invitations: Don’t expect an overnight fix. Start small, with one area of natural interest, and build from there. Success breeds success. Role Modelling Matters: We become like the people we surround ourselves with. Seeing engaged parenting modeled—especially by other dads—can have a powerful ripple effect. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“People move towards positive energy. People really love appreciation. They tend to be repelled by criticism.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Three E’s of Effective Discipline Family Meetings The Heliotropic Effect Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:1. Spend a week noticing and commenting on what your partner is doing.2. Replace “we need to talk” with curiosity: What are you noticing about bedtime?3. Choose one small area where your partner is already engaged—and invite them to go deeper.4. Encourage connections with friends who model engaged parenting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I just want what’s best for them.”That’s what every loving parent says. But sometimes, in our desperation to protect our kids from failure—or secure their success—we push too hard, and it backfires. In this conversation with psychologist and parenting expert Professor Wendy Grolnick, we explore the hidden costs of being a pushy parent and how to guide our children in healthier, more empowering ways. Drawing on decades of research and her landmark book The Psychology of Parental Control, Wendy shares practical, compassionate strategies that help parents avoid power struggles and build confident, capable kids. 🎯 KEY POINTS: Three essential elements of healthy parenting: Autonomy support – Helping kids feel in control of their choices by taking their perspective, offering meaningful input, and collaborating on problem-solving. Structure – Setting clear expectations, routines, and feedback to support competence and confidence. Involvement – Being emotionally available, engaged, and actively present in your child’s world. Why we get pushy: Even well-meaning parents can fall into control patterns driven by fear and overinvestment in their child’s success. What happens when we control too much: Studies show controlling parenting undermines children’s motivation, persistence, self-regulation, and even long-term resilience. Trust matters: Building your child’s autonomy means trusting their developmental process—even when it’s messy. You don’t have to fix everything: Setbacks are growth opportunities. Let your child struggle sometimes—with your support beside them, not ahead of them. 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Every setback your child faces is an opportunity to learn something. Growth happens in the strangest places." – Professor Wendy Grolnick 📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Psychology of Parental Control by Wendy Grolnick happyfamilies.com.au for memberships and premium content Research on Self-Determination Theory and autonomy-supportive parenting ✅ ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Check your instincts – Pause when you feel the urge to push or control. Ask yourself, “Is this about me, or about them?” Explore their world – Start by understanding your child’s perspective, especially when things go sideways. Problem-solve together – Instead of imposing solutions, collaborate. Ask, “What do you think we could do here?” Build structure with input – Create routines and expectations with your child’s involvement. Celebrate autonomy wins – Notice and encourage moments when your child takes initiative or solves problems independently. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Things reached breaking point. And then… everything changed.This week on the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie share a raw and transformative parenting story from their own home—a story of tough love, compassion, and the unexpected joy that emerged when one of their children went screen-free. If you've ever wrestled with screen-time battles, wondered whether stepping in might do more harm than good, or felt at a loss watching your child withdraw behind a phone… this is the episode you need to hear.  KEY POINTS: Not all kids respond to screens the same way—some are more deeply affected mentally, socially, and physically. Despite multiple conversations, one of Justin and Kylie’s children struggled to reduce screen use on her own. Justin made the tough call to temporarily remove the smartphone, despite knowing it would be met with resistance. The decision was supported with compassion, calm, and a consistent message of love and presence. Within days, they saw remarkable emotional and relational transformation. The child herself later initiated a conversation to renegotiate her phone use, ultimately choosing to remove social media apps and suggest her own boundaries. The family experienced a visible increase in connection, laughter, and joy—without screens. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"With enough scaffolding, with enough support, with enough conversation around why sometimes we as parents are going to make decisions that the children may not agree with… the children are able to deal with and respond to these challenges in much more productive ways." – Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: “The Doctor’s Desk” podcast episode #1270 mentioned a study on improved wellbeing after removing smartphone internet access.  Study from 'Nature' happyfamilies.com.au for more resources on parenting and screen time. Parental Guidance Season 3 starts Monday June 30 on Channel 9 — new episodes discussed throughout the week on the podcast. ✅ ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Trust your instincts – If screen use is affecting your child’s wellbeing, don't ignore the signs. Lead with compassion – Any intervention should be anchored in calm, empathy, and connection. Scaffold the change – Offer alternatives, create structure, and maintain open communication. Invite their input – When emotions settle, include your child in designing new tech boundaries. Watch for the joy – Pay attention to the surprising upside: more laughter, connection, and peace. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are your phone habits impacting your child’s growth? We all know kids and screens don’t mix well—but what about parents and screens? A compelling new study has uncovered a strong link between a mother’s screen time and her child’s developmental outcomes. In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the latest research on "technoference" and what happens to our children when our eyes are glued to our devices. The results may just change the way you use your phone—especially around your kids. KEY POINTS: Study Summary: Japanese research of ~4,000 mother-child pairs found that more than one hour of screen use by mums in front of their children correlates with lower language and social development. Two Hours or More: Greater than two hours was associated with lower global development outcomes. Technoference: The distraction of devices interrupts “serve and return” interactions—vital for healthy child development. Modelling Matters: Kids mimic their parents—mums who use screens more are more likely to have kids who use them too. TV vs. Devices: Passive screen time (TV) is less harmful than interactive, overstimulating device use—but still not ideal. Screen Time ≠ Quality Learning: Despite nostalgic memories of “learning” from Sesame Street, research shows TV is a poor teacher compared to real-world engagement. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Screens are a hollow imitation of real life... real development happens in person-to-person, face-to-face interactions." RESOURCES MENTIONED: The study published in Nature Scientific Reports (March 2025) Previous podcast episodes on child screen use and brain development Happy Families website: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Be Present: Put down your phone when you're with your child—especially in those early years. Set Boundaries: Limit both your own and your child’s screen time with simple routines (e.g., no phones at the table or during playtime). Model Mindful Use: Show kids what healthy tech habits look like—because they’re watching. Prioritise Engagement: Make time for face-to-face chats, shared play, and reading together—real-life interactions build real brains. Use Screens Intentionally: If you need a break, opt for TV over devices, and choose age-appropriate, narrative-driven content.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We usually talk about tech as a problem — screens, addiction, distraction — but what if it could actually make family life better? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson chats with two innovative parents, Matt and Brianna Donaldson, about how they're using smart technology to support routines, reduce stress, and create more quality time together. From bedtime battles to TV tantrums, discover how smart lights, switches, and routines can bring more peace and predictability to your home — no tech degree required! KEY POINTS: Around 80% of Millennial and Gen Z parents are now using smart home tech to manage home life. Smart devices (like lights, switches, and TVs) can automate routines to reduce friction — especially around bedtime. Tech can enhance a child’s autonomy and transitions (e.g. lights dimming, music playing) without constant parental prompting. Boundaries and structure are still essential — even in tech-forward homes. It’s not about more tech, but intentional tech that supports family connection and calm. You don’t have to spend thousands: starting with a $20 smart switch can begin transforming routines. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “It’s not Mum or Dad turning off the TV — it’s the house. The structure is doing the heavy lifting.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Samsung SmartThings App Smart Switches (available from retailers like JB Hi-Fi or Kmart) Bluey and the Tony Box (a screen-free audio player for kids) The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start small. Try one smart light or switch in a high-impact area like the bedroom. Automate transitions. Use tech cues (e.g. dim lights + calming music) to support routines like bedtime. Keep boundaries clear. Set firm, predictable limits around tech use — especially screens. Use tech to reclaim time. Automate cleaning (like smart vacuums) or other routines to free up family time. Let the “house be the boss.” Reduce conflict by letting routines and automation do the talking. Prioritise presence. Tech should serve family life, not steal from it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it ADHD… or something else entirely? This episode dives into one of the most debated topics in parenting and child psychology. Dr Justin Coulson answers a heartfelt question from a concerned parent: Should I pursue a formal ADHD diagnosis for my child — or are there better first steps to take? If you're feeling overwhelmed by symptoms, advice, and conflicting opinions, this conversation will help you slow down, zoom out, and see your child through a compassionate, research-informed lens. KEY POINTS: ADHD diagnosis rates are rising — but is it always the right label? Some children may be diagnosed for what is actually normal developmental variation or environmental mismatch. ADHD-like symptoms may be a child’s way of trying to meet three unmet psychological needs: Connection (relatedness) Capability (competence) Control (autonomy) Neuroinflammation is an emerging and overlooked factor in ADHD symptoms. Developmental readiness matters — an 8-year-old’s brain is still undergoing major executive function development. Rather than trying to eliminate stress, parents can help children build capacity to handle challenge (a growth mindset). Medication might help some, but it’s not the first (or only) answer. Diagnosis should be thoughtful, multi-faceted, and whole-child focused. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Difference doesn't mean disorder. Development is not a race." – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Happy Families – for more articles, podcast episodes, and parenting resources Self-Determination Theory & Growth Mindset research Parenting ADHD [The Course] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Delay formal diagnosis (unless impairment is severe) and give time for development. Audit the environment for connection, competence, and autonomy — is it need-thwarting or need-supportive? Support physical health: Prioritise sleep, unprocessed foods, and movement. Explore reducing neuroinflammation through lifestyle. Teach a growth mindset: Use the word “yet”, encourage effort, and model learning through challenges. Reframe behaviours: Daydreaming may signal creativity, not dysfunction. Risk-taking may show courage and capability-seeking. Task resistance may be about autonomy, not defiance. If pursuing assessment, choose a clinician who understands development, context, and the whole child — not just a checklist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When the kids are relentless, defiant, or just downright exhausting, do you give in? Do you clamp down? Or is there a better way? In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the three most common parenting responses to challenging behaviour — and make the case for a third, more effective path. You'll laugh, reflect, and come away with a powerful tool to help you parent with confidence, clarity, and calm. KEY POINTS: The 3 common parenting responses to tough behaviour: Giving In (Permissiveness) – short-term peace, long-term chaos. The “Hell No” (Authoritarian) – may bring instant compliance but can damage connection and growth. Working With (Collaborative Discipline) – more effort upfront, but creates better long-term outcomes. Why permissiveness backfires: it invites boundary-testing and weakens trust and safety. How harsh, top-down discipline can rupture relationships and discourage self-regulation. Introducing the 3 E’s of Effective Discipline: Explore your child’s perspective. Explain your concerns. Empower your child to problem-solve with you. Real-life example: how Justin and Kylie worked with their daughter around a tricky social situation. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Fast is slow and slow is fast. When you take the time to work with your kids, you build trust, wisdom, and lasting outcomes.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Pause before you react. Ask: am I about to give in, come down hard, or work with? Use the 3 E’s next time your child makes a tough request or shows challenging behaviour. Revisit tricky issues over time — not every decision has to be made in the moment. Stay unified with your co-parent if possible — consistency and teamwork matter. Remember: boundaries show love. They help kids feel secure, even when they push against them.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.