Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Schools are failing our children when boys who make sexual threats remain in class with their victims. A toxic combination of pornography access, weak responses, and "boys will be boys" attitudes is forcing young girls out of education.  Quote of the Episode: "When schools allow boys who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims, they're making a value judgment. They're saying a boy's uninterrupted education matters more than a girl's right to learn without fear." - Justin Coulson Key Points: Sexual harassment via school laptops is happening as early as Grade 7 (age 12) Schools often respond inadequately to sexual threats, prioritising perpetrators' education over victims' safety Easy access to pornography is fuelling inappropriate sexual behaviour among young boys Parents must make noise and demand accountability when their children are victims If your child is a perpetrator, taking responsibility and ensuring consequences is essential Parental monitoring of screen use is the number one protective factor against digital harm The e-Safety Commissioner should be contacted in cases of online harassment Media attention and public pressure can force educational institutions to take appropriate action Both victims and perpetrators need support systems focused on responsibility and empathy Resources Mentioned: E-Safety Commissioner (for reporting online harassment) Happy Families "Know My Name" by Chanel Miller (book about sexual assault) Dan Principe Melinda Tankard Reist Collective Shout Action Steps for Parents: If your child is a victim, make noise—report to school authorities, police, the e-Safety Commissioner, and escalate to education departments if necessary. Monitor and supervise all screen time—know what your children are viewing, typing, and who they're communicating with. Have open conversations with your children about online harassment, showing them real examples and developing response strategies. Teach children to block harassers and not engage, as responses often fuel further harassment. If your child is a perpetrator, hold them accountable rather than minimising their behaviour. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we protecting our kids or holding them back? In this episode, Justin talks with Lenore Skenazy about the unintended consequences of overprotection and why kids need to experience risk to build confidence, resilience, and essential life skills. From eliminating stairs in homes to constant parental surveillance, we examine how fear-based parenting is shaping modern childhood—and what we can do to change it. KEY POINTS: The growing trend of designing homes for maximum parental surveillance and risk elimination. Why removing all risks from a child’s life can have long-term negative effects on their mental health and independence. The difference between reasonable safety precautions (e.g., seat belts, helmets) and excessive protection that stifles growth. How parental fear contributes to anxiety, depression, and dependence in kids. Practical ways to introduce independence and calculated risk into children’s lives. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Fear doesn’t prevent death, but it prevents life." KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Removing every possible risk doesn't make kids safer—it makes them less capable. Letting children navigate small risks (like climbing stairs, using a knife, or walking to school) helps them build real-world skills. Worrying can feel like an action, but it doesn’t change reality—teaching skills and fostering independence does. Kids don’t need a risk-free life; they need a chance to learn, adapt, and grow. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Let Grow – Free resources for fostering childhood independence. Supervision Not Required podcast – A new podcast on raising confident, capable kids. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Identify one small area where you can give your child more independence. Teach them practical skills rather than avoiding potential risks. Shift your mindset from "How do I eliminate all risks?" to "How do I prepare my child to handle them?" Connect with other parents who value childhood independence to build confidence in your approach. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships. Quote of the Episode: "What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson Key Points: How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship. Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness. Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break. Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution. Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional response or changing their behavioural response. You can only control your own actions in a conflict, not the other person's. Helping children take ownership of their part in conflicts builds emotional intelligence. Breaking conflict cycles is a skill that benefits children throughout their lives. Resources Mentioned: "10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know" by Justin Coulson (contains detailed information on breaking conflict cycles) Happy Families  Action Steps for Parents: When delivering bad news, use a considerate tone and show empathy ("sweet talking") to soften the blow. Draw the "vicious circle" with your child to help them visualise their role in conflict cycles. Discuss two ways to break the cycle: changing emotional responses or changing behavioural responses. Have these teaching conversations during calm moments, not during active conflicts. Remember that breaking conflict patterns takes time and consistent practice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Research from Princeton University reveals that mandatory reading logs actually decrease children's interest in reading. While a quarter of Australian parents barely read to their kids at all, the solution isn't forcing children to track their reading time—it's making reading irresistible. This episode exposes why reading logs are counterproductive and reveals the three crucial keys to raising passionate readers. If you've ever battled with your child over filling in their reading log or worried about their reading habits, this episode offers game-changing strategies that actually work. Quote of the Episode: "Reading is the key skill to education. It's literally the gateway to all other skills. And if we can get this one thing right with our kids, they're going to make it all right in the world." Key Points: Research shows mandatory reading logs reduce children's motivation and interest in both recreational and academic reading. 25% of Australian parents read to their children once a week or less. There's up to a million-word annual gap between children from book-rich and book-poor homes. 56% of parents feel insecure about their own reading ability, impacting how much they read to their children. Three essential strategies for fostering a love of reading: Read to children regularly, using engaging voices and interactive questioning. Model reading behaviour by having parents visibly read physical books. Allow children complete autonomy in their reading choices, even if parents consider the material "below standard". Resources Mentioned: Princeton University study on mandatory reading logs and motivation by Sarah Pak Oxford University Press research on Australian family reading habits "Wings of Fire" graphic novel series [affiliate link] "The Magic Faraway Tree" by Enid Blyton [affiliate link] "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman [affiliate link] "Donald Duck's New Toy Train" (Little Golden Book) Action Steps for Parents: Remove any mandatory reading tracking systems. Create easily accessible reading spaces with books within arm's reach. Read to children daily, using expressive voices and engaging discussions. Let children see you reading physical books regularly. Allow children to choose their own reading material without judgment. Keep screens separate from reading time - stick to physical books. Make reading a joyful activity rather than a chore. Ask interactive questions about stories to enhance engagement. Read slower than you think necessary to aid comprehension. Create regular family reading times. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone, she was dubbed "the worst mother in the world." In this preview of Saturday's interview, discover why preparation beats protection and how trusting kids with real responsibility helps them become capable adults. Plus, learn why the illusion of control might be holding our children back. Quote of the Episode: "If you want responsible kids, you have to give them responsibility"—Alfie Kohn Key Insights: Preparation matters more than protection. Trust builds capability and confidence. Control is ultimately an illusion. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Clear boundaries enable independence. Practice builds competence. Real-world experience teaches responsibility. Consequences should lead to learning, not restriction. Resources Mentioned: Let Grow movement Lenore Skenazy's work Jonathan Haidt's research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Prepare Rather than Prevent Practice skills before independence Provide necessary tools and information Create clear safety guidelines Build Trust Gradually Start with small responsibilities Allow learning from mistakes Maintain open communication Focus on Growth Use setbacks as teaching moments Celebrate increased independence Balance freedom with preparation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all. Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time." Key Insights: Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time School belonging needs two key relationships Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial Adult friendships can be valuable for children Structured activities help build new friendships Medical and psychological checks may be needed School relationships often need parental facilitation Quality family time remains foundational Resources Mentioned: Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas  School belonging research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Facilitate Intentional Friend Time Organise structured activities Create regular playdates Use third spaces effectively Work with Schools Identify potential friend matches Build teacher relationships Focus on school belonging Consider Broader Solutions Explore adult mentoring Check medical factors Strengthen family connections See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you could tap into your child's natural brain chemistry to boost motivation and reduce stress? Discover the "Happiness Quartet"—four key neurochemicals that can transform behaviour, learning, and family life. From barefoot walks on grass to risky play, learn practical ways to naturally boost these powerful brain chemicals for happier, more motivated kids. Quote of the Episode: "Break big, difficult tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps - each step triggers a dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and sense of accomplishment." Key Insights: Dopamine works as an anticipation engine Serotonin acts as a natural stress reducer Endorphins serve as natural painkillers Oxytocin builds trust and connection Nature exposure boosts multiple positive chemicals Physical activity enhances brain chemistry Social connections trigger beneficial hormones Breaking down tasks increases motivation Resources Mentioned: Neuroscience research on motivation Serotonin and nature studies Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: The Dopamine Boost Break tasks into smaller steps Celebrate progress Create anticipation The Serotonin Solution Get outside in nature Try barefoot grounding Practice deep breathing The Endorphin Lift Encourage physical activity Make time for laughter Allow calculated risks The Oxytocin Connection Prioritise family meals Share physical affection Create trust-building moments See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges, especially when executive function skills—like planning, organisation, and impulse control—are difficult for them. In this episode, Professor Adam Guastella, a leading expert at the University of Sydney, provides expert insights on how parents can advocate for their children in the education system, the latest neuroscience research, the role of executive function in development, and how to provide supportive environments that foster growth and confidence in children.  Tune in for practical advice, strategies for success, and a refreshing sense of hope for families facing these challenges. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It's not a battle of will, it's a battle of systems.” – Professor Adam Guastella KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Autism is not about intelligence; it's about different ways of thinking and interacting with the world. What is executive function, and why does it matter? The connection between ADHD, autism, and executive function challenges. A strength-based approach helps kids feel empowered rather than ashamed of their challenges. How parents can advocate for their child at school—even without a diagnosis. The importance of structure, and practical strategies and accommodations for helping kids succeed and thrive. New research on the cerebellum and its role in neurodevelopment. RESOURCES MENTIONED: University of Sydney—Professor Adam Guastella’s research Happy Families Various professionals, such as paediatricians, psychologists, and speech therapists, who can provide advocacy and support. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Build a support team of medical and educational professionals. Stay persistent in seeking the right resources, even if it’s challenging. Highlight your child’s strengths and provide structured support. Educate yourself on neurodevelopmental conditions and executive function. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your Year 12 child can't do maths or your teen rings crying from camp after being bullied, your instinct is to fix everything. But research shows that simply being heard is often more powerful than any solution. This episode reveals how validation, not problem-solving, helps children develop resilience in challenging situations. Learn the simple two-minute technique that transformed a tearful camp crisis and discover why becoming a "people builder" creates confidence in our children that lasts far beyond any temporary fix. Quote of the Episode: "You don't have to solve; you just have to support. And when the kids can feel it and then you give them an opportunity to find a way forward, they will find it. The answers are deep inside themselves." Key Points: Children need validation and understanding before they can move forward from emotional distress Being a "people builder" creates confidence and resilience in children Emotion coaching involves recognizing feelings, naming them, and allowing them to be expressed Support without immediately trying to solve problems helps children develop self-regulation Hearing supportive voices can be enough to help children find their own solutions With consistent emotional coaching, children develop faster regulation responses Finding the right supportive environments (like tutoring) can transform a child's confidence Children often have the answers within themselves when given space to find them Overcoming challenges builds resilience and confidence Small interactions with supportive people can have profound effects on children's wellbeing Resources Mentioned: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman [affiliate link] Edgar Guest's poem "A Builder or a Wrecker" Emotion coaching methodology Action Steps for Parents: Practice emotion coaching by naming your child's feelings when they're upset Allow emotions to "breathe" before trying to find solutions Ask open questions like "What do you think would be best?" after validating feelings Look for "people builders" in your child's life (teachers, tutors, friends) Consciously choose to be a "builder" rather than a "wrecker" in your interactions When your child calls in distress, focus first on connection before correction Give children space to find their own solutions after feeling supported Recognise that overcoming challenges builds resilience, even when painful at the time See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When school photos become weapons through AI manipulation, how do we protect our children? From understanding why teenage boys might engage in this behaviour to knowing exactly what to do if your child is involved, learn practical steps for prevention and response. Plus, discover why biology isn't destiny and how to build empathy in an increasingly digital world. Quote of the Episode: "The collective IQ of boys when they're in a group is significantly lower than the individual IQ of each boy when they're on their own." Key Insights: AI technology creates new forms of harassment Biological factors influence teen boy behaviour Group dynamics affect decision-making Empathy levels change during puberty Traditional photo safety advice may not be enough Quick response is crucial if incidents occur Professional help may be needed Recovery pathways must be available Resources Mentioned: eSafety Commissioner website Law enforcement guidelines School reporting procedures Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: If Your Child is a Victim: Document everything Report to authorities Seek professional support If Your Child is a Perpetrator: Take immediate action Remove technology access Cooperate with authorities Seek professional help Create accountability pathway For All Parents: Have open discussions about AI risks Review digital safety practices Build empathy despite biological challenges Maintain open communication channels https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/victoria-police-investigate-allegations-gladstone-park-secondary-college-students-targeted-in-deepfake-online-pictures/news-story/3aae004a2d0ce532d35a16d5378e21bfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.