Guiding Kids Through Sexual Curiosity

It’s happening in classrooms everywhere — groups of 10- and 11-year-old girls suddenly identifying as lesbian or non-binary. Parents are confused, scared to say the wrong thing, and desperate to understand what’s driving it.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the growing trend of early identity labels, how sexualised content and peer influence shape confusion, and what parents can do to respond calmly, wisely, and with compassion.

This conversation isn’t about labels — it’s about protecting childhood and keeping connection strong through one of the hardest parenting conversations of our time.

KEY POINTS:

• Why clusters of identity declarations in tweens are often driven by social contagion, not self-discovery.
• How pornography, anime, and online content are confusing kids about sexuality.
• The crucial difference between a physiological response and actual orientation.
• Why automatic affirmation can harm — and what supportive curiosity looks like.
• Setting firm, loving screen boundaries to protect emotional and sexual development.
• Helping kids feel safe in uncertainty, without locking in an identity.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Our kids don’t need labels at 11. They need parents who can hold space for curiosity without rushing to define them.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Happy Families Podcast – Submit a Question
• Miss-Connection by Dr Justin Coulson
• Australian Psychological Society guidelines on gender and identity

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Limit exposure – No unsupervised screens or smart devices for under-13s.
2. Stay curious, not panicked – Ask open questions like “What made you start thinking that?”
3. Teach body literacy – Help kids understand physiological responses vs orientation.
4. Normalise uncertainty – Remind them it’s okay not to know who they are yet.
5. Stay connected – Keep talking, keep listening, keep calm.

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