Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

From Father’s Day feels to Taylor Swift’s big news, Roblox lawsuits, and the surprising lessons hidden in K-Pop Demon Hunters—this Friday episode is packed. Plus, in I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we get raw about surrender, parenting guilt, and why kids really do spell love T-I-M-E. KEY POINTS: Father’s Day joy (and the best gift dads actually want) Taylor Swift’s engagement & what it’s sparking worldwide Roblox under fire: lawsuits, safety concerns & why parents should care K-Pop Demon Hunters craze—what kids love & what families can learn “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow”: surrendering control, parenting while overworked, and finding peace in presence RESOURCES: Free Father's Day Download: 'Me & My Dad' Activity Book ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate Father’s Day with connection, not things—walks, hugs, shared meals. Stay alert to Roblox news; check your child’s settings and talk about online safety. If your kids are into K-Pop Demon Hunters, watch it with them—ask what they love and listen. Reflect: where can you let go of control and lean into connection this week? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families. First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2-week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses. In this episode: Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online Library Relevant Links: Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Exams, ATARs, scaling, university preferences—no wonder Year 12 feels overwhelming. But what if success doesn’t come down to one number? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by careers counsellor Amy Dyer to unpack the myths around scaling, ATAR pressure, gap years, trades, and vocational pathways. If your teen feels lost—or if you’re a parent caught in the stress—this conversation will help you breathe easier and see the bigger picture. KEY POINTS: Scaling and ATARs: what really matters (and what doesn’t). Achievement, capability, enjoyment - what is success? Burnout in young people after school Why a gap year can be the best choice for mental health and clarity. The hidden value of vocational studies and trade careers. How to help kids define success beyond exam scores. Why parents should focus on fit, not prestige, when guiding school and career choices. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You’re not supposed to know. You just try. Just be productive. Just do something.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Connect with Amy Dyer More parenting support: happyfamilies.com.au Check out our "Failed at School, Successful at Life" podcast series [episodes #875-879]  ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start conversations about learning styles and interests - not just grades. Normalise multiple pathways: university, TAFE, trades, or gap years. Reduce pressure by reminding your teen that life doesn’t hinge on a single number. Create safe spaces at home for career and study discussions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Everyone else has one!” If you’ve ever heard this plea from your tween about getting a smartphone, you’re not alone. In today’s Q&A episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one dad’s dilemma: a 12-year-old desperate for a phone, parents holding out until Year 8, and the daily battles in between. You’ll hear why one big conversation won’t work, how to keep your child engaged without caving, and three practical strategies to hold the line without losing connection. KEY POINTS Why no single conversation will “solve” the phone debate The 3 E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) How to use outside voices (content creators, school assignments) to make the case Why it helps to talk with other parents — your child isn’t always “the only one” The ongoing reality: even once they get a phone, the battles don’t stop QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t just get compliance when kids understand your decision — you get buy-in.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Content creators: Jonathan Haidt, Official Herd, Dr Brad Marshall (“The Unplugged Psychologist”), Freya India [Study] Blocking mobile internet on smartphones improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being The Heads Up Alliance - Australian families delaying social media and smartphones for children, together Wait Until 8th  Rebecca Sparrow's FREE download "Beginner Phones for Tweens and Teens" ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Keep the conversations ongoing — not one-and-done. Use external voices and resources to reinforce your message. Encourage your child to research and present arguments for and against screens. Connect with other parents to reality-check the “everyone else has one” claim. Focus on understanding and buy-in, not just rules. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why can’t kids just calm down? Here’s the truth: they’re not supposed to. Expecting children to manage their emotions alone is like expecting them to drive a car before they’ve learned to walk. In this episode, Justin and Kylie bust the biggest parenting myth about big feelings — and share 3 powerful, science-backed strategies you can use in the heat of the moment to help your child ride the emotional waves. KEY POINTS Kids’ brains are on “L-plates” when it comes to emotion regulation — it’s a developmental process. Big feelings are normal, not a sign of “bad behaviour.” Three strategies parents can use: Distraction – helps reset the nervous system. Co-regulation – lending your calm to your child. Pause problem-solving – wait until emotions settle before teaching or fixing. Parents often feel judged when meltdowns happen in public — but compassion (for ourselves and our kids) is the game-changer. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “No one can think clearly in a fire drill — and that’s exactly what trying to reason with a child mid-meltdown is like.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources for parenting strategies & support Little People, Big Feelings Summit See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a child is upset or angry, it’s easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over a completely different issue. By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings. In this episode: Play dates & Roblox 14 reasons why.... Homeschooling  Need for connection Hindenburg Research: Roblox Roblox - a tool for sexual predators The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Related Links:  Keeping kids safe on Roblox  Why Your Kids Need a Tribe Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every school talks about teaching mental health, but is it actually helping kids? Or could some programs be doing more harm than good? In this episode, Justin unpacks the latest research on school-based mental health lessons — what works, what doesn’t, and why good intentions aren’t always enough. If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is really benefiting from these classes, this is the conversation you need to hear. KEY POINTS Why mental health lessons don’t always translate into healthier kids The risk of programs that label or pathologise normal emotions What research really shows about long-term impact How parents and teachers can support mental wellbeing in practical, everyday ways QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We can’t just teach kids about mental health in theory — we have to live it with them in practice." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/20/mental-health-lessons-school-dont-work-mindfulness ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask your child what they really think about mental health classes at school. Focus on daily connection — listening, empathy, and open conversations. Model healthy coping strategies at home rather than relying only on school programs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys today are struggling — with school, with purpose, with identity. At the same time, parents are being told that masculinity is toxic — or irrelevant. Are we accidentally raising a generation of young men who feel lost before they’ve even begun? And how do we raise boys who are strong, kind, and confident without making them feel like they’re not enough? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of the most provocative ideas in parenting boys: surplus value. Drawing on research from Richard Reeves, Scott Galloway, and David Gilmore, they explore why contribution and purpose matter so much for boys’ identity, how to frame it in a healthy way, and why ignoring it leaves our sons vulnerable to destructive alternatives. KEY POINTS Why boys often tie identity to what they contribute rather than just who they are. The difference between unconditional worth at home and purpose in the world. How “surplus value” is not about pressure, but about channeling natural drives into positive contribution. Why society has always “made men” through responsibility and service — and why our boys still need this today. How to talk about contribution without undermining your son’s self-worth. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Being useful helps boys feel valuable — not because they’re not enough, but because they’re capable of great things.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves Manhood in the Making by David Gilmore Sign up for updates on Justin’s upcoming book Boys → https://happyfamilies.com.au/boys-book-waitlist ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Reassure your son daily: “You matter because you are you.” Create opportunities for him to contribute at home in age-appropriate ways. Talk about purpose and contribution as part of becoming a man — not as pressure, but as an invitation. Watch for signs of directionlessness in the teen years and help channel energy into positive pathways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it ever safe to let your 11- or 12-year-old walk to the park, ride their bike, or visit a friend without you? For many parents, just the thought makes the stomach clench. But here’s the twist: the riskiest thing might be never letting kids take risks at all. In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the independence dilemma that defines modern parenting. You’ll hear why today is the safest time in history for children (despite our fears), how to balance risk and safety, and the practical steps that build confidence — in both kids and parents. KEY POINTS: The difference between danger and risk — and why it matters. Why 24/7 news and social media fuel parental anxiety. How staged independence builds resilience and confidence. The power of community connections in keeping kids safe. Teaching situational awareness instead of “stranger danger.” RESOURCES: More parenting resources at happyfamilies.com.au The Case For Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection [Article]  #1198 The Worst Mother Who Got it Right [Podcast Episode]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear. In this episode: What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending The three big claims FAFO parents make Why FAFO backfires The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required) Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment. When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays. Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.