Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Few topics divide parents more than gender identity — and the stakes couldn’t be higher. On the last episode of Parental Guidance, the debate ignited strong emotions and hard truths about what it means to protect our kids’ mental health while avoiding irreversible mistakes.  In today’s podcast, Justin and Kylie break down the episode, share insights from research, and offer calm, practical advice for navigating this sensitive topic as a parent. KEY POINTS: Why this issue is so emotionally loaded. What we don’t know The strong correlation between gender identity struggles and other issues like autism, anxiety, depression, and online influences Why ‘affirmation-only’ models are controversial The role of screens and peer groups in shaping kids’ beliefs about gender. Why delaying medical or surgical interventions while maintaining love and openness can be the wisest path forward QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "You want to keep your kids safe, loved, and supported — but you also want to move slowly, with wisdom and care, because these decisions have lifelong consequences." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Time to Think by Hannah Barnes (on the Tavistock Clinic and gender identity diagnoses) Articles and more resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Limit screen time and social media exposure, especially to platforms like TikTok or Tumblr where gender identity narratives can be amplified. Check your child’s peer group influences — and watch for “cluster” patterns in friend groups. Find a good psychologist or counsellor who will explore underlying emotional, developmental, and psychological factors instead of rushing to affirm. Stay compassionate and keep the dialogue open with your child. Let them know you love and support them unconditionally — while explaining that serious medical decisions can wait. Delay irreversible interventions (like hormones or surgery) until your child is much older and has had time to mature and reflect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does “boys will be boys” really mean—and why does it get under so many parents’ skin? In this powerful episode, we dive into the final challenge of Parental Guidance and unpack the loaded stereotypes around masculinity, parenting roles, and what it means to raise emotionally healthy boys in today’s world. From baby dolls to rough-and-tumble play, the conversation gets real about how we guide our sons—and what we might be getting wrong. KEY POINTS: Why the phrase “boys will be boys” is not an excuse for bad behaviour How TV moments can misrepresent real-life parenting and child behaviour The critical role fathers can and should play in early parenting Gender roles, cultural expectations, and the policing of boys’ behaviour The concept of “surplus value” and helping boys become safe, strong contributors The challenge of letting boys be expressive without fear of being labelled or shamed Encouraging healthy masculinity without shaming traditional male traits QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Boys will be boys is never an acceptable excuse when a boy is making others feel unsafe or weaker. Healthy masculinity is about being a bonus — adding value and helping people feel safer and stronger." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 4 (available to stream on 9Now) Richard Reeves – Of Boys and Men Upcoming book on raising boys by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Challenge the stereotype: Avoid using phrases like “boys will be boys” to excuse disrespectful or rough behaviour. Involve dads early: Regardless of breastfeeding or work roles, dads can actively participate in everything from settling babies to managing household chaos. Nurture competence: Support your partner’s (and your child’s) parenting confidence—especially when they feel unsure. Talk about gender norms: With both sons and daughters, talk openly about gender expectations, and give them permission to break the mould. Model and celebrate healthy masculinity: Encourage boys to add value to others' lives, and help them develop emotional literacy without forcing them to fit a mould. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when your child becomes the parent — even just for a day? In this episode, we unpack last night’s Parental Guidance challenge, where kids were asked to care for a realistic baby doll, revealing what they’ve learned from their parents’ example. From “cry-it-out” methods to family role clarity, and even the silent weight of unappreciated parents — this conversation is a wake-up call for every mum and dad. Are you raising future chair stackers, or scorekeepers? KEY POINTS: Kids reflect the parenting they see — sometimes in ways we don’t expect. Why “cry-it-out” for babies is controversial and why we generally recommend avoiding it (especially under 6 months). The hidden harm of parenting with threats and power-centred comments. The trap of seeking validation from your children instead of giving without expectation. Why clarity in family roles, self-awareness, and communication are critical. The concept of raising “chair stackers” — children (and future adults) who see and meet needs without keeping score. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If there was one gift I could give every parent, it would be the gift of self-awareness — the ability to see how your children experience you." - Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Upcoming book: Boys by Justin Coulson (on raising “chair stackers”). More parenting resources at: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect honestly: What do your kids see and learn from the way you react under stress? If you’ve used cry-it-out methods, consider alternatives and seek support if you’re struggling. Have a conversation with your partner (and even your kids) about family roles and whether everyone feels the load is fair and balanced. Let go of the need for validation from your kids — parenting is about giving. Start encouraging the “chair stacker” mindset in your kids by modelling it yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your baby screams from 7 PM to 3 AM every night? Tonight, Parental Guidance tackles one of the toughest, most overlooked issues facing families: the silent epidemic of mental illness. Heartbreaking stories. Honest conversations. And real hope for parents who feel alone in the dark. Don’t miss this powerful episode—stream it on 9Now or watch live at 7:30 PM on Channel 9. RESOURCES MENTIONED Catch up on Seasons 1, 2, and the first episodes of Season 3 on the 9Now app. Tune in live tonight at 7:30 PM on Channel 9 or stream on 9Now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Talking about money with kids can feel intimidating — but it doesn’t have to be. In episode #1302, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by Yish Koh, Managing Director of Kit, to unpack practical, simple ways parents can raise kids who are confident and smart with money. From avoiding the ‘tap trap’ to setting stretch goals, you’ll learn how your own money mindset shapes theirs — and the small, powerful lessons that stick for life. KEY POINTS: Why attitude about money matters more than aptitude — and how parents can model healthy habits. The danger of passing on economic anxiety to kids. How to teach kids to delay gratification and set meaningful goals. Creative ways to incentivise saving, including ‘stretch goals’ with bonuses. Why teaching kids about time and compound interest is a game-changer. Cash vs. digital money: helping kids grasp the value of invisible dollars. The best tools and apps to make financial education engaging and real for kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If I almost spent $15 on a game just to feel good—and I have a PhD in psychology—imagine how hard it is for our kids to resist."— Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Kit Pocket Money App by CommBank Free Download: Kit's Smart Money Playbook ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start the conversation: Make money a regular topic at home — no shame, no secrecy. Model what you want to see: Explain your own decisions, from saving to spending. Teach delayed gratification: Use food or small purchases to illustrate. Set savings goals with your kids — and add stretch goals with incentives. Open a savings account or use a money app to help kids track and celebrate progress. Don’t forget about cash: Occasionally let them pay in notes or coins to connect the dots. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a child falls years behind in reading and writing? This week’s episode of The Happy Families Podcast dives into one of the most talked-about moments from Parental Guidance: the Life School parents’ children struggling with basic literacy. Justin and Kylie share why reading matters so much, how to help children who resist school and learning, and practical steps for parents who feel overwhelmed when their child is falling behind. If you’ve ever worried about your child’s progress—or felt judged by others—this conversation will give you hope, empathy, and a clear path forward. KEY POINTS: Reading is a gateway to learning, and kids need to see, hear, and engage with books daily. Many families lack books in the home—screens have crowded them out. Literacy struggles can stem from earlier traumatic or negative schooling experiences, creating resistance. Avoidance of learning challenges often worsens anxiety; action and support are crucial. There is no quick fix—progress takes time, love, and the right support network. Collaboration with schools is vital, but sometimes alternative schooling or tutors may be necessary. Motivation often follows competence—find what your child loves to learn and build on that. Above all, children need to know that they are loved, supported, and not alone in their struggle. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Readers are leaders, and leaders are readers. But before anything else, your child needs to know you love them, no matter how hard the journey gets." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Previous Happy Families podcast episodes on How to Help Kids Love Reading #952 - An Interview with Author Sally Rippin #918 - A Slice of Advice on Getting Your Kids to Read More happyfamilies.com.au for more resources on literacy and schooling alternatives, including: Rethinking School: Why Alternative Education Might Be the Best Choice for Your Child Home Schooling 101 With Brett Campbell of Euka How to Raise Kids Who Read Nine Now app to watch Parental Guidance ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: 1. Read to your child every day, even if they’re older.2. Let your child see you reading.3. Fill your home with books your child can access anytime.4. Work with the school to understand and address learning challenges.5. If needed, explore alternative schooling options or hire a tutor.6. Avoid avoidance—take small, consistent actions to build competence.7. Help your child discover an area of learning they’re motivated by.8. Above all: remind them daily that they are loved and supported.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child refuses to eat? When food, health, and body image turn into a dangerous battleground? In this deeply moving episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the devastating reality of eating disorders — with insights from a brave young woman who overcame anorexia, her incredible family, and a specialist psychologist who shares life-saving advice for parents. KEY POINTS 90% of teens have negative thoughts about their bodies; eating disorders affect far too many young people, especially girls. Social media and “diet culture” fuel body dissatisfaction, validation-seeking, and dangerous habits. Even the most loving parents can have children who perceive themselves as unlovable — perception is reality for struggling kids. Parents play a vital role: showing up consistently and lovingly is powerful even when it feels unnoticed.   Warning signs to watch for include: Loose, baggy clothing (to hide weight loss or from skin sensitivity) Avoiding family meals, picking at food, or excessive “health consciousness” Withdrawing socially, prioritizing exercise obsessively Personality changes, irritability, especially around meals   Parents need extraordinary patience, kindness, and firmness — staying at the table for hours if necessary, showing the eating disorder who’s stronger. Separate “the eating disorder voice” from your child’s real self in your interactions. It’s less about finding the “cause” and more about focusing on healing. The Butterfly Foundation (butterfly.org.au) is an excellent resource for specialist help. QUOTE OF EPISODE #1299 "You need to show that eating disorder that you're stronger than it, more patient than it, and you will sit there as long as it takes — because your child is worth fighting for." — Christine Gregory RESOURCES MENTIONED The Butterfly Foundation — national support for eating disorders Parental Guidance episode (stream on 9Now) Happy Families articles and resources on connection and body image (happyfamilies.com.au) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Watch for early warning signs and trust your instincts — you know your child best.2. Be patient, kind, and firm — sit with your child at meals and don’t let the eating disorder win.3. Separate your child’s identity from the illness; speak to your child, not to the disorder.4. Don’t obsess over what “caused” it — focus on healing and connection.5. Seek professional help early through organizations like the Butterfly Foundation.6. Show up consistently: being present every day sends a powerful message of love and commitment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“You don’t let other people tell you what beautiful is.”In this heartfelt episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson reflect on the powerful lessons from Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 3, exploring body image, self-worth, and how parents can shape their children’s relationship with their bodies—for better or worse. With vulnerable personal stories and actionable advice, they discuss how to shift the focus from looks to function, joy, and character.  KEY POINTS: Parents’ comments and attitudes about bodies deeply influence their children’s self-image. Many women carry lasting scars from childhood comments about their weight or looks. Society promotes a narrow and unhealthy definition of “beautiful.” Teach children to focus on what their bodies can do, not just how they look. Affirm children’s inner qualities and character as “beautiful” rather than only appearance. Complimenting children should be consistent and not dependent on clothing, makeup, or occasions. Body image distortion is common and can start young; words and modelling matter. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty. Instead, emphasise functionality, emphasise finding joy, and focus on what you can do, not what you look like. More than anything, remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk by Justin Coulson Karen Young & Hey Sigmund — resources supporting children’s mental health and self-worth Parental Guidance Season 3 Pixel Perfect [Webinar] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on your own language and attitudes about bodies—what messages are you passing on? Focus compliments on your child’s inner qualities and abilities, not just their looks. Emphasise the functionality and strength of your child’s body (“Look how strong your legs are!”) rather than its appearance. Avoid shaming or criticising children’s food choices or weight. Let your child know they are always beautiful to you, regardless of what they’re wearing or how they look. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do girls talk about their looks and boys talk about their abilities? Last night’s Parental Guidance episode tackled the big, emotional topic of body image — from what our kids see in the mirror to what they learn from us. In this Happy Families Podcast recap, Justin and Kylie unpack the powerful moments, the heated debates about Botox and social media, and what the research says about raising kids who feel good about their bodies. KEY POINTS Introduction of four new parenting styles: Authoritative, Positivity, Hard Way, and Life School — and their views on body image. Kids’ mirror challenge revealed a clear gender split: boys focused on what their bodies do, girls on how their bodies look. Parents’ debate about Botox and cosmetic procedures highlighted tension between self-acceptance and role-modelling for kids. Social media and screen use increase body dissatisfaction — media literacy alone isn’t enough. WHO study: gender, not body size, predicts body image problems. The importance of parents modelling self-acceptance and healthy habits. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We focus on boys’ function, not form — and girls’ form, not function. That’s how society has conditioned us for centuries." — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt WHO study on gender and body image Book: Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk by Justin Coulson Pixel Perfect [webinar] Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Reduce kids’ time on screens and social media to limit harmful comparisons.2. Stop focusing on diets or external measures — promote health, not appearance.3. Encourage kids to focus on what their bodies can do, not how they look.4. Be mindful of how you talk about your own body — you’re modelling self-image.5. Avoid assuming media literacy is enough — talk about values, not just filters.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when kids are asked how they really see themselves?This episode of Parental Guidance (and our podcast preview) dives deep into one of the most powerful and emotional topics we’ve covered yet: body image. We unpack the heartbreaking reality of how children talk about their own appearance, the surprising ways parents influence those conversations, and a gripping, must-see story of a young girl’s fight against anorexia. Plus, we explore family fitness, nutrition, and an unexpected twist you won’t see coming. Tonight’s episode of Parental Guidance is one that will get Australia talking — and maybe even bring a tear to your eye. KEY POINTS: Kids share candidly how they see themselves — and the results are eye-opening. A moving story of one girl’s battle with an eating disorder. Why the way parents speak about their own bodies matters more than you think. Family fitness and nutrition challenges reveal compelling insights. An unexpected twist at the end that every family should reflect on. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "It’s just such an important conversation — one that will make every single parent and child sit up and pay attention." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parental Guidance, Episode 3 — airing tonight at 7:30 PM on Channel 9 and streaming on 9Now. Visit happyfamilies.com.au for more parenting resources. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:1. Watch tonight’s episode of Parental Guidance with your family.2. Start an honest, gentle conversation with your kids about how they feel about themselves.3. Be mindful of the way you speak about your own body around your children — they’re listening.4. Use family mealtimes and activities as opportunities to model positive attitudes towards food and fitness.5. Stay tuned to the Happy Families podcast throughout the week as we unpack the episode in even more detail.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.