The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12   https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 David Lieberman, Ph.D., is a renowned psychotherapist and the author of eleven books, including the New York Times bestsellers Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Be Lied to Again. He has trained personnel in the U.S.  Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” A person looks at the world as a reflection of themselves. If they see the world as corrupt, they feel on some level that they are corrupt. If they see honest working people, that is frequently how they see themselves. “How someone treats you is a reflection of their own emotional health and says everything about them and nothing about you.” Speaking negatively behind someone’s back orients you to look for the negative in others. Wouldn’t we rather spend time with people who seek the greatness in others? “The less emotionally healthy a person is, the more they denigrate the world to accommodate their own insecurities.” Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is a tool. How it is wielded makes all of the difference. Real power is the responsible application of knowledge. Word usage: Let’s take the example of giving a compliment. A woman who believes what she’s saying is more likely to use a personal pronoun. For instance, “I really liked your presentation.” However, a person offering insincere flattery might say, “Nice presentation,” or “Looks like you did a lot of research.” In the second case, she has removed herself from the equation. The Art of reading the bluff - When a person is bluffing, they are managing others’ impressions to convey the “right” effect and serve a personal agenda. Conversely, the authentic person is not interested in how they come across because they are unconcerned with their image. “People who bluff habitually overcompensate, so you can uncover a bluff instantly by noticing how someone tries to appear.” Relationships: Whenever David speaks to couples, he's always on the lookout when the word we is conspicuously absent from the conversation. We are attracted to positivity. It reflects humility. "Humility connects you to the ownership of mistakes." Humility can recognize a weakness in self. The difference between a sociopath and a psychopath: A sociopath has no conscious. They are very dangerous. A psychopath's wiring is off. They were born that way. Life and career advice: Find a passion that contributes to the world. Don't get too caught up in image or ego. "You can be anything. you're good at. as long as they're hiring." -- Chris Rock

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12   https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Matt Mochary is an operator and an investor. Matt is known as the coach of Silicon Valley’s best CEOs. He works with leaders at many companies, including Coinbase, Opendoor, Bolt, and Clearbit. After selling his startup in 1999 for millions, he surfed, made movies, and then developed the Mochary Method to help leaders excel. Matt's life mantra: “Make Money, Have Fun, Do Good” Matt has coached the leaders of Angelist, Brex, Coinbase, Sequoia, Grammarly, Attentive Mobile, Flexport, Plaid, and Reddit. I was not expecting so much emotion from him when talking about coaching. It’s evident that Matt finds great joy in what he does. I find that inspiring. The components to a coaching conversation... Hold each other accountable. Declare the highest priority actions. Unpack the problems. Ask them how they are complicit in creating those problems? Help provide solutions & action items for each. Then share feedback. Instead of looking for a specific class, find the best teachers and go to them. That’s where the learning happens. In college and out in the real world. "Matt’s coaching has brought me clarity, focus, organization, less stress, and higher performance (me and the team). I have always been skeptical of coaches but I think he can 10x the output of a lot of people and I hope he does!" -- Sam Altman (CEO, OpenAI) “It's often easy to make a decision, but it can be much harder to get your team to invest emotionally in that decision.” “You create buy-in when you make people feel that they are part of the decision and that their input contributes to the final outcome.” “Most companies spend extraordinary resources of time, money, and equity to bring on a new team member, and then almost entirely drop the ball on quickly getting that team member onboarded and up to speed on how the company works so that they can begin making a full contribution. Don’t make this mistake.” “You create buy-in when you make people feel that they are part of the decision and that their input contributes to the final outcome.” “Making a Sale To make a sale effectively, you need to do the following three things: Build trust Identify the customer’s specific pain Sell results, not features” “Why did you leave that job?” Was the candidate promoted, recruited, or fired? Get very curious about why.” “And when receiving appreciation, there is only one correct response: “Thank you.” Do not feign humility by downplaying the act with statements like “It was nothing, anyone could have done it.” No. The person is trying to make you feel appreciated. Anything other than “thank you” will rob them of their goal.” Meetings – ALWAYS start on time. Don’t ever say, “Well let’s wait for everyone to join zoom.”

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12   https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Kim “KC” Campbell (KC = “Killer Chick”) is a retired Air Force Colonel who served in the Air Force for over 24 years. She has flown 1,800 hours in the A-10 Warthog, including more than 100 combat missions protecting troops on the ground in both Iraq and Afghanistan. In 2003, Kim was even awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for Heroism after successfully recovering her battle-damaged airplane after an intense close air support mission in Baghdad. Kim is the author of Flying in the Face of Fear: A Fighter Pilot’s Lessons on Leading with Courage. Notes: On January 28, 1986,  the challenger rocket exploded (killing all astronauts on board). On that day, Kim learned what it meant to serve something bigger than yourself. She decided she wanted to be an astronaut and serve something bigger than herself. A big influence in Kim's life was a high school teacher named Mrs. Kennett. She helped Kim on the speech and debate team. One of her arguments was about women being allowed to be combat pilots. Mrs. Kennett worked to create "power women." Response to Rejection: Initially Kim got rejected by the Air Force Academy because of a low SAT score. In response, instead of quitting and moving on, she wrote a letter to them every week stating why they should accept her... Which they eventually did. "The tough moments make you better." The initial rejection was a blessing in disguise. How to crush the interview process? Prepare... Walk through potential questions and rehearse your stories. Role play with a mentor. Be you. Be real. Be authentic Create a connection with all in the room. Look them in the eye. Be genuine. Like father, Like daughter — just before Kim's final year at the academy, she earned the position of Cadet Wing Commander. This is a position her dad held 25 years earlier. They were the first father-daughter wing commander duo in academy history. A woman in a man’s world: When Kim started pilot training in 1999, there were 33 female fighter pilots in the Air Force. About 1% of fighter pilots. Kim's choice of airplane was the A10 WartHog. The airplane was designed first with the 30 mm Gatling gun on it in mind: capable of shooting 3,900 rounds per minute. The leader sets the culture. They decide what to create and what to allow. Kim was on a combat support mission in Baghdad when her airplane was hit. She had to make a split-second decision about whether to exit the aircraft behind enemy lines or try to fly it back to a safer area... Commanders intent - Your why is the way forward. You allow your team to take action and make decisions. "Explain the why. Explain the context. Let the lower level leaders make decisions and run with it." Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech resonates with Kim. "We feel fear and freeze. We can't let fear paralyze us. We need to take action in the face of fear. Remain calm. Acknowledge the fear and move forward."

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12   https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Jason Feifer is the editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur magazine. He is also the author of a great new book called, Build for Tomorrow: An Action Plan for Embracing Change, Adapting Fast, and Future-Proofing Your Career. Notes: Define yourself… What is your one sentence? Jason’s is “I tell stories in my own voice.” That’s what he does as the editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur magazine. That’s what he does when he writes books. Records podcasts… Everything. What is your one sentence? What do you do? How to lead through change – Remember... You’ve had time to think about it prior to the meeting, they haven’t. Show some grace. Communicate why the change is happening and how it impacts them. And… “People hate new things, but they love better versions of old things.” People hate loss. Remind them of what’s staying the same, but getting better. In 1348, The Bubonic Plague happened... What occurred as a result? 60% of Europeans died. It led to an opportunity for employment. Prior to that, there were the rich and the poor. The rich had the poor work for them, but did not pay them money. "If a city isn't growing, it's dying. The same is true for people." In your career, "Don't ask for the opportunity... BE the opportunity." The Four Distinct Phases: Panic Adaptation New Normal Wouldn't Go Back The first thing a person should do when navigating change is to identify the thing about themself that is not going to change. This is tough because we naturally identify with the output of our work. If somebody at a party asks you what you do, you’re either going to tell them your job title, your role, the way in which you do your work, or the thing that you create. And that’s natural—it’s a good way to understand ourselves. "We are programmed for loss aversion." "Build a bridge of familiarity from them to you." "That’s something Ryan Reynolds told me. Ryan is an actor who also started an extremely successful advertising agency called Maximum Effort. He also owns Aviation Gin and Mint Mobile. Ryan told me that the thing that distinguishes people is not whether they’re good at something at the beginning (because nobody will be good at something at the beginning), but rather whether someone can tolerate the natural state of being bad at the beginning. When trying something new, there cannot be an expectation of mastery from the start. "Can you tolerate being bad long enough to be good?" In front of you are two sets of opportunities. Opportunity Set A is everything that is asked of you, for instance showing up at your job, things your boss needs done, etc. It is necessary to do a good job at Opportunity Set A. Opportunity set B is everything that is available for you to do that nobody is asking you to do. This could also be at your job, but it could also be something outside of work like taking a class to learn a new skill. With every single thing you do, ask What is it for? This forces you to make sure that the things that you do have a valuable outcome. It’s okay if that outcome looks strange, or if that outcome will come after some time working towards it. We want to know which things we should devote our time and energy to, and we want to understand how to maximize opportunities. Answering What is it for? clarifies that. So, What is it for? Content now is for relationships. People will trust you and like you because of your content. You build a relationship with people when you put something out into the world. Life/Career advice: Try, quit, and learn Life is a series of experiments

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of Learning Leaders from all over the world to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday to help you start your week off right. Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Mark Fogel is a former US Air Force fighter pilot and current squadron commander in the Ohio Air National Guard. He’s A graduate of the US Air Force Academy and the Harvard Kennedy School, he is an adjunct lecturer at the University of Dayton, and his TEDx Talk called The Culture of a Fighter Squadron is one of the best I’ve seen. Notes: American Fighter Sqaudrons are the most effective teams on the planet. Cockiness is unacceptable. Humility is a critical quality and skill to be part of the team. The subculture is you check your rank at the door. When you lead a mission, you’re in charge of the debrief. I love building a culture where feedback is regularly given both ways. And the trust created amongst the team to be able to do this with psychological safety. The real training and learning take place in the debrief…Spending hours pouring over video, computer graphic reenactments, radio calls, everything… To diagnose exactly what went right and what didn’t and why. The debriefs can last multiple days to describe 10 minutes of action. The person who leads the debrief is the flight leader. That person is not necessarily the most experienced member of the team. Fighter squadrons share the leadership and followership duties constantly. You might have a situation where it’s a 24-year-old lieutenant telling a 2-star General in front of the entire room, “You screwed up and this is why we failed the mission because of it.” This creates a mixture of perfectionism and humility. Building a culture takes time. Trust is built from character and competence. How do you reward and incentivize behavior? You're modeling what you want others to do.

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of Mindful Monday. Join 10's of thousands of other Learning Leaders from all over the world to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Dan Martell is an entrepreneur, investor and best-selling author of the book Buy Back Your Time. He founded, scaled, and exited three technology companies within a ten-year period.  In 2012 he was named Canada’s top angel investor, having invested in more than 50 start-ups, such as Intercom, Udemy, and Unbounce. In 2016, Martell founded the SaaS Academy and grew it to become one of the largest coaching companies in the world. He’s also an Ironman athlete, philanthropist, husband, and father of two boys. The 3 keys to a world-class leadership retreat: Do something physically hard together (hike up a mountain, Wim Hof ice bath) Do the strengths and weaknesses exercise. Be honest, vulnerable, and open. It builds trust. Be very intentional about the seating chart (in meetings, at meals, and rooming assignments) Send cold emails: Dan sent hundreds of cold emails when he moved to San Francisco Paul Graham responded and said, "Do marketing. Every startup needs help with that." It changed how Dan introduced himself to founders moving forward. Read Tim Sanders' book, Love Is The Killer App Acquire knowledge for your customer Your network is your net worth. Build relationships. Love cat -- Nice guys finish first. Be a kind person. When Dan went to jail, he met a guard named Brian. Brian pulled Dan aside and said, "What are you doing? You don't belong here." As a leader, use your power for good. Help people believe they can do more. Dan has hired a family coach and had her live with his family to help them have deeper relationships. "I want to have an epic marriage." Intentional Family Actions Dan takes: A quarterly retreat with his wife, Renee Ask: "How have I shown up as a husband for you?" Wednesday family lunch meetings Write your family core values together Have family board meetings Dan is intentional about telling his boys what he sees in them Buy Back Your Time Dan shares the secret to engineering your perfect week – and then, your perfect year – to ensure you’re fully focused on what matters most. And... When to employ time hacks, such as the “Definition of Done” and the “$50 Magic Pill,” to help your team work more efficiently, prevent bottlenecks, and guard your energy. Dan teaches you how to calculate your Buyback Rate so you can start buying back time immediately. And... Why playbooks need to be the foundation of your business, and how to create them. Life/Career advice: Whatever you want out of life, help others get that. The world rewards those who help others.

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join tens of thousands of other Learning Leaders to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right...  Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/Instagram: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Brian Kight is the founder of Daily Discipline. He writes essays on how to pursue your most meaningful objectives with intention, purpose, and skill. His work is read by millions of people all over the world. Brian (known as BK) personally works with leaders in business and in sports on how to align teams and accelerate results. Notes: What mistakes do leaders make when trying to change the culture? They are too fuzzy with their language. It's plain. They separate culture from execution. In reality, execution is the strongest indicator of culture. "The testing of my beliefs is the discipline of my actions." Learning Happens through Depth: People now place too much emphasis on learning fast and not enough on learning deeply. The consequence is a false equivalence of consumption with learning and a false confidence that what gets consumed is understood. Learning occurs through immersion, not cheat codes. No one cares how many books you've read or podcasts you've heard.  These are not marks of success, achievement, or wisdom. Success is applying the lessons of one book in a manner so disciplined that it transforms your life or at least impacts it in a meaningful fashion. To learn, transform, or build something of lasting capability, merit, and value, immerse yourself in the learning experience. If you want a change, fully engage. Shed volume for depth. Swap variety for rigor. Don't minimize your effort through hacks or cheapen your experience with cheat codes. Are you trying to feel good for a while or improve yourself forever? Leaders create the culture that drives the behavior that produces results… E + R = O Event + (Your) Response = Outcome The confidence - Doubt spectrum The 5 things confidence comes from: I know what to do I know how to do it Do I feel capable of doing it? I expect good results I'll be ok if the results are not what I expect Leaders instill confidence in people Reps are a tool for belief Goal Setting: "I'm not into goal setting, I'm a system setter." "My commitment is to execute the system." "Outcomes are not my goals." Light can be pushed through a prism or a magnifying glass. A prism creates a rainbow. Nice, looks good. A magnifying glass creates focus and fire. Ask, "Am I a prism or a magnifying glass?" Businesses are not rational environments, they are emotional environments. They don’t run by rational rules, they run by emotional ones. Everything is an exchange. You give attention, time, and energy (ATE) to things with the expectation of a return on that investment. How do we align our inner and outer Pursuits? – Getting secure and aligned on the inside leads to excellence on the outside. The best way to position yourself for external excellence is to prioritize internal fulfillment. Life & Career advice: Be a creator of the energy you need. Your energy comes from your purpose. "Don't follow your passion, just always bring it with you." "Your response needs to always be better than your circumstances."

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of other Learning Leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Ramit Sethi is the New York Times best-selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich. Millions of people read his work every month which focuses on personal finances, money in relationships, and he shares how you can define your rich life. His team has created online programs on making more money, finding your Dream Job, starting an online business, and mastering your inner psychology. Notes: If you have a partner, “create your journey together.” Money is not something to be delegated to one or the other. Both should be involved. Ramit's book-buying rule:  If you’ve even considered buying a book for one second, then BUY THE BOOK. If you learn just one new thing, it is worth it. The return on your investment is through the roof. When in doubt, buy the book. And Read the book. Ramit describes every detail of the conversation he had with his wife about signing a pre-nuptial agreement before they got married. "You should focus on $30,000 questions, not $3 questions." Top 5 Lessons from one year of interviewing couples about money Ramit shares how to get started with your money: automation, investing, and the other Big Wins of money. How to manage your money Fixed costs: 50%-60% Savings: 5%-10% Investments: 5%-10% Guilt-free spending: 20%-30% How to invest your money Target date fund - Vanguard Index funds Ramit advises that you do not pay a financial advisor based on AUM (Assets Under Management). Pay an hourly rate or a fixed cost. This will save you hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars over the course of 30-50 years. Decide what you want to spend your money on... What is your rich life? Create your money rules:  For example, Ramit has unlimited spending on his health. And he has money set aside for philanthropic endeavors

Text Hawk to 66866 to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... They are called "Mindful Monday." A perfect opportunity for you to be more thoughtful as you start your week. Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Dr. Marc Schulz is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and an award-winning professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he directs the Data Science Program and is the Sue Kardas Ph.D. 1971 Chair in Psychology. He completed his BA at Amherst College and his Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley. He is the author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.  Notes: "Relationships are at the core of human flourishing." Friendships - Map out your social universe. Are the connections uplifting or depleting? Ask, “what do I value about the person?” Be intentional about your relationships and how you invest in them. The quality of the relationship you have with your partner will determine how long you will live. As we get older, we tend to get happier. We accumulate emotional wisdom. We should focus more on relationships that give us emotional sustenance. This work is built on a bedrock of scientific research. At its heart, the Harvard Study of Adult Development. An extraordinary scientific endeavor that began in 1938, is still going Bob is the 4th director of the study, and Marc is its associate director. “Generativity” – In psychology, expanding our concerns and efforts beyond our own lives is called generativity and it’s a key to unlocking the vibrancy and excitement of midlife. When asked at the end of their lives, “What do you wish you’d done less of? And more of?” The study participants often referenced their middle years and regretted having spent so much time worrying and so little time acting in a way that made them feel alive. The story of John Marsden and Leo DeMarco… Leo lived a rich life because of the relationships he fostered with his wife, daughters, and close friends. John put all of his effort into becoming a lawyer, becoming well-known, and didn’t focus on his relationships. They ended up on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to happiness. Research has shown that people who have a close colleague at work are more engaged and productive than those who don’t. Close to half of your waking moments are spent thinking about something other than what you are doing. Loneliness increases your risk of death as much as smoking or obesity. Evolutionary theories: Survival depends on us coming together as groups. We are social creatures. How to handle remote/hybrid working environments? There is a cost to not being together. There is a cost to working alone. Friendships need repeated exposure. Doing tasks together builds friendships. You can't do those well remotely. Strangers on a Train: What do you want to do while on a train? Listen to music or talk with the stranger sitting next to you? Most will say that they would rather put their headphones on, listen to music, or read a book. However, the research suggests that you'll be happier if you spoke with a stranger on the train. Life/Career advice: Think about the nitty gritty of a job. Talk to people doing the job. Spend extended time with them while they are doing the job. See what it's like.  

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of other Learning Leaders to receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right!  Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow in economic studies at the Brookings Institution. He is the author of Dream Hoarders (2017), and a regular contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and The Atlantic. His latest book has made waves worldwide … It’s called OF BOYS AND MEN: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Notes: How to be a great mom and/or dad? Model the right behavior. Children believe their eyes more than their ears. It’s our responsibility to be that positive role model for children. "The secret to life is to take your work seriously, but not yourself." Create a conversation with your team where all ideas are valued equally. "Communication just moves stuff around. Conversations make something new happen. "Boys are behind girls in education all over. College is now 60-40 women."  "In the education system and in terms of many aspects of mental health, boys are really struggling. That isn't to say that girls aren't also struggling but in different ways. In terms of the education system, girls and young women have blown right past boys and men. There's actually a bigger gender gap in education today than there was 50 years ago." "Boys develop later than girls. They should go to school one year later than girls." "The pre-frontal cortex is the CEO of the brain. This develops later in boys than in girls. It’s on us to recognize the facts and act accordingly. In this case, Richard is an advocate for starting boys in school one year later than girls." Richard's goal: "To create men who are acceptable at a dance and available in a shipwreck." What are the differences between men and women? "Women tend to have a higher level of agreeableness." "We now live in a world where 40% of women earn more than the typical man, where 40% of breadwinners in the U.S. are women. This is a gigantic social change that is entirely positive, looked at through one lens, and we should certainly celebrate it. But... It does raise this question, which is, well, what about men? What does it mean to be a guy in a world where the role of provider can no longer be presumed? What it means is that we urgently, desperately need to update our models of fatherhood, especially, and of masculinity, to fit with this new world." “The problem with men is typically framed as a problem of men. It is men who must be fixed, one man or boy at a time. This individualist approach is wrong.” Life/Career advice: It takes time to understand how your talents will be best used. Be patient. It's not a race. Be the type of person that people want to work with… It sounds obvious, but it’s not. Be pleasant, be on time, be a great teammate, be thankful, and do great work.