Divergent Conversations

Identity is complex and interwoven into the world around us. But as Autistic individuals who wear a mask, identity is often not entirely shaped by ourselves. Late in life discovery of autism or ADHD can set off a cascading journey of self-discovery and identity exploration. Once we start to embrace our authentic selves and explore our identity, everything can change.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, dive into the topic of exploring identity as late-diagnosed Autistic individuals and discuss the process of exploration and claiming an identity that embraces all our neurodivergent uniqueness, how it impacts and changes daily life and choices, and how it can shift both new and old relationships.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand what unmasking and redefining identity can look like, as well as how it can impact both internal and external experiences, preferences, and relationships.Discover how breaking free from a "mask" identity can allow autistic individuals to explore their creative side, set boundaries, and authentically accept their autistic identity.Learn how to use pleasure and play to explore identity and discover your most authentic self.Give yourself permission to explore uncomfortable emotions and experiences. Be curious, dive into the things that give you pleasure, and detach from others' expectations to unlock new paths of self-awareness and understanding.ResourcesWhat is Masking in Autism? Autistic Masking Explained (blog post): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/what-is-masking-in-autism?rq=maskingNeuroqueer Heresies: Notes on the Neurodiversity Paradigm, Autistic Empowerment, and Postnormal Possibilities by Dr. Nick Walker (book): https://neuroqueer.com/neuroqueer-heresies Autistic Masking Workbook:As a podcast listener, you can use this coupon code to enjoy a 25% discount on the individual workbook or the workbook for clinicians.For Personal Use, use coupon code: Unmasking25 here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking)For Clinical Use, use code: Unmasking25-Clinical here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking-therapy-resources)————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground————————————————————————————————✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources————————————————————————————————💬 Join Divergent Conversations UndergroundDivergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Explore the importance of self-identification and research on neurodivergent conditions. Learn about the risks and benefits of self-diagnosis. Delve into the complexities of autism and ADHD, and the challenges of accurate diagnosis. Discover the significance of gathering data points and multiple sources for understanding.

Autism and healthcare self-disclosure can lead to negative and positive experiences. The episode covers challenges, stigma, and the importance of tailored self-disclosure. It also discusses finding a supportive healthcare provider, practical solutions for navigating healthcare, and creating a neurodivergent directory. The hosts reflect on podcast reviews and promote listener engagement.

Dr. Mel Houser, an autistic family physician, discusses the intersection between neurodivergent experiences and chronic health conditions. They explore ME/CFS, MCAS, and the struggles with healthcare. Topics include triggers, interconnectedness of health conditions, challenges in seeking treatment, and the impact of neurodivergence on sleep apnea and connective tissue issues. The importance of understanding narratives and the need for neurodiversity-affirming medical care are also highlighted.

Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Patrick Casale discuss the concept of Autistic masking, its impact on mental health, identity, and privilege. They explore the benefits and complexities of masking, as well as strategies for unmasking safely. The podcast also addresses the challenges faced in advocacy spaces, the correlation between masking and mental health issues, and the importance of building supportive autistic communities.

Neurodivergent professionals discuss the challenges of routine disruptions, sensory stimulation, and emotional regulation. They share personal experiences, provide strategies to cope with anxiety, and address the shame associated with strong reactions to routine changes. They also explore the difficulties of diminished executive functioning and the struggle of balancing commitments. Additionally, they discuss productivity variations throughout seasons and reflect on the impact of mispronouncing words on others' perception of intelligence.

In this episode, we explore demand avoidance, a common experience among neurodivergent people. We delve into the factors contributing to demand avoidance, including executive functioning challenges, sensory issues, and a desire for autonomy. Additionally, we take a closer look at Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), also known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, a complex and often misunderstood subtype of autism. Join us as we navigate this important topic, gaining a deeper understanding of demand avoidance and its impact on neurodivergent lives.Dr. Megan Anna Neff, an AuDHDer psychologist and mother of a child with PDA, describes it as "anything that comes at the person that threatens autonomy invokes an extreme fight-flight response," and says that it can be seen through a lens of "nervous system through stress response," making it different than something like oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder.Individuals with PDA sometimes develop sophisticated and subtle masking strategies to appear compliant and cooperative on the outside, even though they may struggle internally, which can involve imitating expected social behaviors and responses while suppressing their genuine feelings of overwhelm and resistance.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Neff speak with Tara Holmquist, PsyD, about PDA and her personal experience as an AuDHDer with PDA.If you're interested in learning more about PDA, trauma, and demand avoidance, this episode is for you.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand how PDA shows up in the lives of those who have it and how it both internally and externally impacts their lives.See how demand avoidance is often a coping mechanism rooted in trauma.Learn coping strategies and skills for managing demands.PDA can be a painful and overwhelming internal struggle that also manifests in ways that aren't always received well on the external side of things when the pressure of demands just becomes too much. This episode aims to shed some light on the complex world of demand avoidance and PDA to gain a deeper understanding. More about Tara Holmquist:Tara is a clinical psychologist licensed in CA and WI. She has been in private practice for about 5 years working with adults with relational/attachment trauma, as well as addiction/substance use. Her practice is exclusively telehealth, and her practice values include a heavy examination and challenge of implicit biases, internalized capitalism, and patriarchal leanings. Her practice is trauma and social justice informed. And she's a pretty cool regular human too.Tara's Facebook: facebook.com/tmhpsychTara's Instagram: instagram.com/tmhpsychotherapyAdditional Resources:Dr. Neff's blog post on "Autism PDA Explained: The Core Characteristics of Pathological Demand Avoidance"PDA MasterClass: For an in-depth clinical definition of PDA, check out Neurodivergent Insights MasterClass featuring Dr. Donna Henderson.————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground————————————————————————————————✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources————————————————————————————————💬 Join Divergent Conversations UndergroundDivergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Socializing in groups can feel exhausting and often adds an entirely different level of complexity to the sensory experience and challenges for autistic individuals.Patrick Casale, an AuDHD mental health therapist, shared his thought processes and some of the questions that run through his head when in group conversations, such as, "When do I interrupt? When do I not? When do I jump in? When do I not? When do I stay quiet? When do I avoid adding commentary?"Dr. Neff shared that she shows up differently in conversations with people one-on-one than in group settings, and gave the example that in her one-on-one conversations with Patrick during the podcast episodes, her "analytical brain is able to pretty much go offline" and she gets immersed in the conversation, but said that she can very rarely do that in groups.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, share their experiences around communication in various social settings.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand what tracking is and how it plays a role in social interactions and regulation for autistic individuals.Identify ways to reduce stress and overwhelm that is related to social interactions and sensory overload in group settings.Learn how to balance the personal needs of autistic individuals with the needs of other members of their inner circle who are allistic.It's important to find ways to support mental well-being through the struggles of emotional overwhelm and sensory overload that many autistic individuals face on a daily basis. Social interactions and experiences can be different for everyone, so we encourage you to make the effort to find ways to do restorative self-care and prioritize social activities that align with your values and needs.————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground————————————————————————————————✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources————————————————————————————————💬 Join Divergent Conversations UndergroundDivergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Picture the immense amount of energy invested in analyzing your emotional responses to every social interaction, striving to decipher not only your own feelings but also how the other person perceived the conversation. Or imagine navigating through life with a constant undercurrent of irritability and anxiety, yet lacking a clear understanding of their origin.These experiences only represent a small fraction of what people with alexithymia may experience.Alexithymia, which in simple terms is difficulty identifying and describing emotions, is a trait that is often associated with autism and ADHD, however despite the fact that one-in-ten people in the general population have this trait (not just Autistic people), there are still many misconceptions about what it is, who it really impacts, and how it shapes their experiences and relationships.Dr. Megan Anna Neff, an AuDHD psychologist with alexithymia, states that a lot of things that have been attributed to autism, for example, difficulty with emotion recognition on faces or voice, are actually due to alexithymia, not autism. In this episode of Divergent Conversations, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, talk with guest, Thomas Henley, an Autism consultant, public speaker, workplace trainer, and podcast host of “Thoughty Auti Podcast”, about all things alexithymia.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand what alexithymia is, how is it related to autism and ADHD, and some common attributes associated with autism that are strongly linked to alexithymia.Identify the ways that alexithymia affects emotional regulation and the ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level.Learn what strategies and therapeutic approaches individuals with alexithymia can use to help facilitate emotional regulation and deeper connections with others.Alexithymia affects many individuals in the general population, so taking the time to recognize and understand the traits, challenges, and experiences associated with alexithymia, can help facilitate deeper connections with others, self-acceptance, and healthy ways to manage overwhelming emotions and situations.Alexithymia ResourcesAlexithymia articles on neurodivergent insights: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/category/AlexithymiaAlexithymia workbook: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/alexithymia-workbookDr. Neff’s Alexithimia Training: https://learn.therasmarts.com/courses/AlexithymiaMore about our guest, Thomas Henley:My name is Thomas Henley, I’m an Autism consultant, public speaker and workplace trainer running the Worlds Top podcast ‘Thoughty Auti Podcast’, all about Autism & Mental Health - independently presented, edited and promoted by my Autistic self.I’m also a Commonwealth/British champion in Taekwondo, Biomedical Sciences (Hons) graduate from UoM, Autistic Model, documentary creator of ‘Aspergers In Society’ & ambassador for Anna Kennedy OBE & Born Anxious.I was diagnosed Autistic at 10 years old and later developed severe mental health conditions at the age of 14 due to trauma at Secondary School - Clinical Depression, GAD, Bulimia & multiple Dissociative disorders.Most of my content focuses around the low quality-of-life statistics for autistic people, such as mental health, social isolation, unemployment, education, relationship difficulties & self-harm in all forms. I’ve delivered this information to the government, leaders in SEN education, and the general public through my outreach and social media work.My passion is to help people, it’s my meaning to life, my saviour for helping me stay around. My ultimate goal is to improve things for future generations who may just experience the same awful things I have. My content is informed from many angles. During my time at university, I also studied and researched into Autism, Mental Health, Sociology, Psychology, Socialising, Relationships & Philosophy. I also used to be Special Needs TA, I work alongside charities regularly, talk to researchers, Autistic influencers, authors & parents regularly on my podcast, and currently work full-time for a National Inclusion charity.Check out Thomas’ resources and content:Thomas’ Website: https://thomashenley.co.uk/Thoughty Auti Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/6vjXgCB7Q3FwtQ2YqPjnEV?si=BjFjTN9RRm-mG5r4kmxmVQ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThomasHenleyUK YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ThomasHenley Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashenleyuk/ TikTok (@thomashenleyuk): https://www.tiktok.com/@thomashenleyuk————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground————————————————————————————————✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources————————————————————————————————💬 Join Divergent Conversations UndergroundDivergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Travel and the act of experiencing people and places is something that is generally talked about with excitement, but for Autistic people, it can be a much more complex experience.Patrick, who hosts entrepreneurial retreats for therapists all over the world and travels often for extended periods of time, shared that despite loving to travel, the experience of hosting retreats and being away from home could also feel torturous at times, like having exposed nerves that were shocked by all things sensory.When talking about travel and social interactions, Dr. Neff expressed that it "feels like the decision is to have a really small life or to lean into experiences, but to be constantly confronted with the too-muchness of the world."In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, both AuDHD mental health professionals, share their diverse experiences and feelings about travel, social interactions, and sensory overload.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand the challenges and experiences of neurodivergent individuals while traveling and in stimulating social spaces.Identify ways that travel can provide positive stimulation for Autistic individuals through new experiences.Learn ways to manage and do self-care and self-advocacy when feeling sensory overload during travel.Travel and social situations can be challenging for neurodivergent individuals, but through vulnerability and a commitment to self-care, it is possible to find strength and joy in the pursuit of exploring new places and experiences.————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground————————————————————————————————✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources————————————————————————————————💬 Join Divergent Conversations UndergroundDivergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout ResourcesIf you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources