DadAwesome

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Tony DiLorenzo   Tony DiLorenzo is the Amazon bestselling author of 7 Days of Sex Challenge, Connect Like You Did When You First Met, and other books. Tony believe that the healthy combination of sex, love, and commitment is more than the foundation of a strong marriage… it’s the glue that will keep a marriage together. Listen to his weekly podcast, ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show, at OneExtraordinaryMarriage.com, where nothing is off limits when it comes to the many aspects of marriage. Tony has been married to his beautiful wife, Alisa, for 25 years and together they have a son and a daughter. He lives in San Diego, CA   Show Notes   https://dadawesome.org/tour/ 4:57 - Rainbows and Unicorns - "Twenty fourth anniversary. She made a little post and she she just talked about, Hey, it was not all rainbows and unicorns. And she said, Hey, we didn't know how to be married. This is when you started. We didn't know how to communicate with each other. We didn't know how to make our relationship a priority. We didn't know how to juggle being parents and being spouses. We didn't know to be each other's lover and truly in those moments with one another. Basically, she goes on to say, we still don't know. So as the leaders of one extraordinary marriage, she she's she's goes public with it. We still don't know. We're learning, we're growing" 8:38 - "I truly want men around me who I can call at the drop of a hat and or text and just be like, Man, I need some prayer right now. I need somebody to talk to. Can we just go like once a month, just grab a coffee together? And I remember just praying that prayer in and it didn't happen like overnight." 11:07 - Taking that time and reading to them in bed. 13:55 - Walk and talks 15:37 - We schedule sex and that's been a habit we've been doing for 12 years now. Yeah. And that has kept our sexual intimacy on course from all those years. We came to an agreement 12 years ago that we wanted to have sex twice a week, and doing that has really created an ability for us to engage one another when it happens, which is great." 17:44 - We were never taught? Or does it teach us that we never saw it? So we're looking up to those around us mentors, parents, grandparents, whoever, and they never did it. So why would we? The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage Emotional Intimacy This Pillar involves a closeness created through sharing each other's feelings, thoughts, and desires. This is both verbal and non-verbal communication. It’s more than just, “Can we talk?” Physical Intimacy Think of this Pillar as every type of loving touch. This can be holding hands, a hug, a kiss, or even cuddling. You were designed to be touched. It's answering the question, "How do you like to be touched?" Financial Intimacy This Pillar is the sharing of your financial situation. It's developing a plan for your finances, from how much you spend on date night, to joint accounts, to planning for retirement. This is more than, "We need to talk about the budget..." Spiritual Intimacy Think of this Pillar as religious beliefs and observed religious practices. This can be as simple as praying together, going to church together, or discussing spiritual issues as a couple. This answers the question, "How are we spiritual together?" Recreational Intimacy What you do together at home, or on dates, or just for fun, is what this Pillar is about. It's the plans the two of you make to spend time together, doing things you enjoy. When this is working, you don’t sit in the driveway playing the "What do you want to do?" game. Sexual Intimacy This is the Pillar that encompasses everything about your sexual connection with your spouse. This can be romance, initiating, foreplay, and sexual intercourse. There’s no two ways about it: Sex is h-e-a-l-t-h-y. But this intimacy goes way beyond, "Hey, wanna have sex?" 22:55 - "But as a couple, you look at them together and go, which ones have cracks? Which ones are strong? And how do we continue to strive and go after the extraordinary we desire?" 23:57 - Emotional intimacy, obviously our verbal and nonverbal communication? How are we? How are we engaging our spouse? And so for many, it's just what we get. We get caught up in the day today. As dads, we get caught up in the day to day. Is the provider taking care of the yard? Maybe our toys, maybe wanting to go out to this or do that. But how are we really engaging our spouse? What are we doing on the regular that allows them to know that we're here and not just talk about laundry kid's work? I think that's the big thing, 25:46 - We use the app, the Voxer app, even though we could make a list and wait and talk about. And it's not just punch list of get the groceries or do this is actually lets me hear her tone and hear how is she doing, really? And then I can listen to that when I'm, you know, when I get done with this recording with you or is. So Voxer has been actually a tool that allows us to communicate more and to understand her heart. 26:15 - Walk and talk, but it could be a driving and dive. It could be a coffee chat, whatever that may be. That works for you guys. 27:07 - Physical Intimacy - "All your loving touches. This is not. This is does not mean sexual touch. This is like kisses holding hands. Hand on the knee, cuddling, hugging." 28:45 - (Jeff) These do apply around dads to kids, as well as husband to wife, because I mean, those first things. First of all, we already talked about, like my desire for all four of my daughters, is that I am intentional around putting my arm around and giving them that morning hug when they come down again, the hand on the knee that that emotionally they know that I want to connect and hear their heart and what makes them feel loved. And so. So we really can take this further than just our one extraordinary marriage,   Episode Links:   The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage https://oneextraordinarymarriage.com/ Tony's Podcast FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/   Conversation Transcript Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jeff Zaugg   Jeff and Michelle Zaugg celebrated 15 years of marriage last summer. They currently live in a 37 foot RV traveling across the United States with their 4 young daughters. After 10-years of entrepreneurial non-profit ministry leadership, Jeff served as a pastor at Substance Church in the Twin Cities for the past 7 years. In Fall 2020 Jeff took the leap and went full-time fatherhood ministry. He is the founder and lead cheerleader at dadAWESOME & FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS. When he's not wrestling or playing hide and seek with his daughters, you might find Jeff out for a bike ride, making a pour over coffee, sitting by a fire with his wife or challenging some friends to a game of Spikeball.   Show Notes:   1:23 - "When I say become dadAWESOME, it's never been about an arrival or I am dadAWESOME. You're not, I'm more dadAWESOME than you are anything like that. It's a journey of focus and intentionality of saying, I'm going to be dadAWESOME for my kids and I'm becoming. It's a never ending journey of becoming that will continue till we reach heaven, because even as a great grandfather, someday I'm still going to be becoming dadAWESOME. And I think focus matters. Focus matters on this journey.  2:28 - "A look BACK. This thing started with an idea of, what if we help encourage intentional fatherhood?  6:03 -  A look FORWARD 6:12 - GOALS: Keep cheering on intentional fatherhood. Keep seeking wisdom, both practical ideas and high level perspectives around intentional fatherhood through interviews on the podcast Keep rallying fathers to train together to do a hard thing on behalf of the fatherless Keep growing partnerships with other like hearted organizations so that we can resource dads further with books and retreats and other things that we're not going to do immediately 6:49 - "My prayer is that we would awaken a generation of dads that would realize the fact that they have a Heavenly Father who wants to father them. I believe that many of us dads are living as if we were fatherless, so we're accidentally passing on pain to our kids, were passing on hurts to our kids because all of us have imperfect fathers... none of us are perfect fathers. None of us had perfect fathers, but were accidentally, I believe, living as if we were fatherless. When we have a Heavenly Father who wants to bring freedom and healing so that we can pass on LIFE and we can pass on JOY and PEACE and LOVE to our kids, not pain to our kids. So that's I look forward. I'm more passionate than ever." 8:01 - "My prayer is that every interaction (from dadAWESOME) would just be a nudge in the direction of treasuring the role of being a dad. It is such a gift that we get to be dads. It's such a gift and we've been entrusted these treasures, our kids. And that's my main prayers that any time you interact with dadAWESOME in any way that it would nudge you in that direction of seeing this as a gift from God that we get to be dads." 8:57 - IDEA #1 =  "I think God wants me to laugh more often with my kids" 9:52 -  Acts 8:8 says. And there was great joy in that city  10:21 - "May your homes be known as a place that there was great joy found in that home where kids think back about all these years and their dad and say there was great joy that just radiated from my dad. His eyes shined as he belly laughed." 10:44 - IDEA #2 = RV Story - the first 48 hours  14:05 - "I want to encourage you guys that stuck does not mean you're outside of God's will. Stuck does not mean you're going to stay stuck. Stuck does not mean that you messed something up. Stuck does not mean that you're inadequate. Stuck does not mean that you're unloved. Stuck does not mean it's easy. It's stuck is a perfect setup for the John 10:10 the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to do that in your fatherhood journey your dad life. He wants to steal kill destroys often as possible" 14:48 - "You have a Heavenly Father who is for you and is known. He is famous throughout the history of the world for getting stuck people unstuck." Exodus 14:13 "Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today." 15:34 - "I'm a dad who has what it takes. I am dadAWESOME. You are dadAWESOME. Do not think that being stuck means that you don't have what it takes because God is fathering you. He's your Heavenly Father and he has gifted you your kids and he's like, Treasure those gifts" 16:08 -  A speedboat mentality or a sailboat mentality 18:16 - "When we're feeling stuck, think sailboat, not speedboat. What if the wind is just not blowing? What if this is the time to learn and to be humble and to say, what can I take away from this versus a pointing at all the things that are wrong? What can I experience now that will help me be the dad that my kids need me to be?" 19:05 - "There are 40 people who have given to help finance some of the budget. This last year, about half of the budget was financed through 40 families. And and if some of you guys want to join that team to help fuel this movement www.dadawesome.org/give   Episode Links:   FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team   Conversation Transcript   Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Wayne Francis   Wayne Francis leads the New York City location of The Life Church and was the founder and lead pastor of the former Authentic Church, which merged with The Life Church in early 2020. Wayne and his wife, Claudene, have been married for twenty years and have two beautiful teenage daughters, Haleigh and Ryleigh.   Show Notes:   Coming SOON   Episode Links:   https://thelifechurch.com/locations/new-york http://leadershipinblackandwhite.com/ FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team   Conversation Transcript   Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Seth Barnes   Seth Barnes is founder and president of Adventures in Missions, a discipleship and missions ministry that has taken over 125,000 people on mission projects around the world since 1989. The mission of Adventures is to deeply connect people to Jesus and his movement. Their goal is to train 100,000 disciple makers focused on fulfilling the Great Commission. Adventures has ministry training centers around the world that are focused on making that goal a reality. To move toward the fulfillment of the vision, Seth also founded the World Race in 2005. The World Race provides trained teams of young adults the opportunity to engage in 11 international mission contexts in 11 months using an experiential, missional discipleship model. Adventures emphasizes listening prayer, relationships, and servanthood in their work amongst the poor. Both through ministry/training centers and World Race ministry teams, Adventures maintains an active presence in a number of African countries. In addition to overseeing Adventures in Missions, Seth is a speaker, author, and prolific blogger. His blog, Radical Living, can be found at www.sethbarnes.com. Seth is married to Karen. They have five children and seven grandchildren. Seth's books on Amazon   Episode 200 Party:   Tuesday, January 9th from 8-10pm we are gathering 200 dadAWESOME friends for a couple hours of fun. Spikeball, Cornhole, Music, dadAWESOME Giveaways, Food and some Vision/Mission/Hopes for what's next. We're hosting this party in NE Minneapolis at Ninth Street Soccer and Coffee: 801 SE 9th St, Minneapolis, MN 55414 Here's the RSVP Form: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26   Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26 Join for dadAWESOME meetups around the south/southwest this winter! 3:19 - Adventures in Missions: The World Race 4:31 - Being a 9 year old with his dad in the Vietnam War 8:20 - YouTube clip from 1988 - pulling kids around on palm tree leaves example - 53 min. mark on this video) 8:40 - The continuum of softness to drivenness. Get feedback. 9:12 - And innovation, not just at work, but also on the playground, so that palm branch, it looked like just, you know, something might have to throw away or it could be this magical ride that they could jump on and pretend it's a horse or something, you know, and that's I always tried to approach the playtime that way, you know, inventing games not just like pulling down a box and opening it and letting somebody else set the rules. 10:44 - "So it's great to be soft when they're, you know, zero to five and they need boundaries, of course. But but you've got to start challenging them and people ask me, you know, when, when can I take my child on mission? Well I used to take them at age four and five on a mission. And man, that really tones down the entitlement, which is a huge issue these days for dads." 13:24 - the importance of challenging entitlement in our kids 13:59 - Somebody needs to be taking them out of entitlement, out of a self-focus, out of this place of just kind of, I don't know, they get to Yale and they're called snowflakes. I mean, we've got to stop this as a as a nation or we're just not going to have a generation to hand any kind of inheritance to" 14:14 - How do we help our kids embrace pain? 14:56 - Know the phase you are in: Ages 0-5 - Identity formation. Ages 6-12 - Body, Soul & Spirit formation. Ages 13-18 - Connection to the world of adults. 1. From 0-5 Identity formation. Main job is loving them & attachment formation. Key activities: Focused attention, touch, eye contact. Play with them & teach them agency (example - me 33 yrs ago playing w/ the kids - 53 min. mark on this video) 2. From 6-12 Body, soul & spirit formation: Main job is mentorship/discipleship. Stay deeply connected w/ them and help them move toward, not away from challenge so that curiosity guides them and kids become lifelong learners. This is where the battle for faith is won or lost. My secret weapon was to take/send them on mission. 3. From 13-18 Connecting to the world of adults. Help them embrace the process of growing, especially by embracing the healthy pain of responsibility & discipline. In this last stage, I watch so many dads absolutely fail. They don't trust their kids and specifically, they don't trust them with what I call "healthy pain" - instead confusing it with the kind of caustic pain that they often have not adequately processed themselves. 15:20 - Piaget and cognitive development  18:01 - "And we've got to lean into the future if we're ever going to raise greatness in our kids." 18:09 - John Tyson's Primal Path -  The capstone was The World Race for his son. 21:05 - "We're going to do fun and missions. And, you know, I'm just trying to bait the hook and and get everybody to see that there is a bigger picture by exposure." 21:15 - Recognize there are four levels of covenant relationship You and God Good Family Community Affect the world 21:53 - "You've got to recognize true religion. James, 127, says, is widows and orphans in their distress. Let's go take care of them. Let's go and recognize that we're not the center of the universe." 22:50 - "that was the pivotal moment in my life. Maybe there's that, you know, when I ask my wife to marry me, but I asked that question and I was in a broken place. I mean, our marriage wasn't the best and we're at a marriage retreat and I needed to hear God. I mean, I was desperate. And God spoke to me in a voice that it was just incontrovertible. It was him. And he said, I love you, Seth and I. I just wept. I was just a puddle of tears. This is what I've been waiting all my life to hear, but didn't know that I could, that it was even available and it made all the difference" 24:03 - Tips for hearing the voice of God 24:12 - "I would get all five of them (his kids) and we get on our knees on the couch and we talked to God. And I just ask questions. And I was present and I was intentional. So I think you've got to find a way to carve out that space. And if you have that space, if you need to, if you need curriculum or just some prompts, there's a book I wrote called The Art of Listening Prayer.  25:30 - Story of Seth leaning in and pursuing healing with his dad 28:30 - Story of Jeff's dad and the moment of Jeff coaching his dad on how to pray a prayer of double blessing (Jeff) 29:19 - "There's something about choosing, even though there's pain for many of us who are dads, you know, I'm thirty nine. There's pain. Pain can separate us from our earthly father or pain. We can choose to press through it. Just like you said, pain is great. Pain is good. We choose to press in and the gift and the blessing of choosing a president versus be hardened and calloused." 30:00 - Seth's Blog post with his Blessings For His Kids (linked here) 30:23 - ..."intentionally praying this prayer a blessing and consecration over my kids. And so, you know, that's something I think everybody let me just challenge everybody here. If you haven't blessed your kids in a way that if I were to ask your child, you know, have you been blessed by your dad? And they would say, Oh, definitely, if they can't answer that, then go ahead and do it again." 30:59 - "when you get to heaven, what I understand is it's Jesus that's waiting. And it's your family that's waiting. So your dad is like going to be waiting and there's not going to be this level of awkwardness there to just get over yourself. Have some courage, I vulnerability and courage or flip sides of the same coin. So just press into this stuff that's hard and do it." 31:20 - "if anybody needs to email me, I'll walk you through it. I got nothing better to do and to help you get to a place of reconciliation with those that are closest.  sethbarnes (at) adventures (dot) org 31:50 -  "there's two ways of blessing. One is with your actions, another is with your words. And if your actions don't match your words, then that's going to just look like hypocrisy. 32:54 - John O'Donohue, book To bless the space between us 34:25 - "liminal space is space in between thought and action. And so you got to have some thoughts and you've got to meditate on the implications. So I would carve out a half a day or at least an hour or two hours just to think about and I living at my potential." 34:42 - "there's greatness in you. There's amazing potential in you that you probably have not tapped and that God wants to tap. And he often uses our weaknesses. And that's where we're, you know, his strength shines through our weaknesses." 35:29 - "we ourselves should not be living in fear. We are more than conquerors. The words us and many of us don't live that way." 35:59 - "I started off the year by going to Nigeria, and it was amazing how many people are going to do that. And I don't know, you go, What is it that you need to do? That would be amazing. And maybe it's going somewhere. Maybe it's a hard conversation. Show some courage. That's my challenge to find a place where you can be courageous today and use that as a place to impart the Lord's strength to those that desperately need to hear from you." Specific Blog Posts for dadAWESOME: Connecting them to the Lord and answering key questions through discipleship and mission (see this blog) Connecting my girls to boys in a safe way (see this blog and this one)   Episode Links:   https://www.sethbarnes.com/ World Race Adventures on Missions BLOG POSTS from Seth FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team   Conversation Transcript Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Chris Bruno   There is nothing more exciting to me than the intersection of transformation and adventure. This is why I founded Restoration Counseling - a place where we daily engage the power of restoration and epic re-storying. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I specialize in men and masculinity, sexual addiction, trauma and abuse. My experience as a men’s therapist and my work with men at Restoration Project provide me a wealth of experience when navigating the landscape of a man’s heart. As I work with clients, my focus is on discovering and “reading” the narrative of their lives and guiding them toward the transformation that comes through adventurously and honestly engaging our sorrows AND our glories. This, to me, is what I was created for.   Episode 200 Party:   Tuesday, January 9th from 8-10pm we are gathering 200 dadAWESOME friends for a couple hours of fun. Spikeball, Cornhole, Music, dadAWESOME Giveaways, Food Trucks and some Vision/Mission/Hopes for what's next. We're hosting this party in NE Minneapolis at Ninth Street Soccer and Coffee: 801 SE 9th St, Minneapolis, MN 55414 Here's the RSVP Form: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26   Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26 Text “DAD” to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to become an intentional dad 1:52 -  if you missed last week, hit pause and listen to PART 1 - Episode 196 with Chris Bruno 3:11 - (Jeff Question) - Explore with us how how we could move in the direction of shared experiences versus just intentional friendships moments 3:37 - "You need someone who's willing to ask what we call a deep dive question." 4:13 - "we asked the question 17 years ago today, what was happening in your life, what was going on for you and how did you get there?" 4:26 - "Now it's asking for some information, but really what we want is not just the content of what was happening, but we want the context of what was that like for you and that's the difference between just hanging out with the pals and going to that brother level is what was that like for you? Help me understand what it felt like to walk in your shoes. " 6:15 - (Jeff) I believe that our heavenly father can heal outside of time, back to moments in that healing ripples its way back through time and we experience way more benefits.  6:34 - "God does not heal memories because memories are kind of locked in. He heals stories. Yes, but not a memory doesn't become a story until it is told to another person." 7:41 - "That's where memories are. God wants to go backwards into our lives and heal all of those big T and little team moments in our lives. But we can't do that. We don't do that. Just by remembering to ourselves is where we when I invite you, Jeff, into my story and I have someone witness and be with me in the story and experience with me and empathize with me. What happened in the story? That's where healing actually happens." 10:03 - "Grace actually means that we're given this favor, this delight, this pleasure and nothing can detract from it and nothing can add to it." 11:55 - "there's actually a first story. There's actually a child of delight that still also lives within me. That's older than that's the first that's more original to who. He made me to be. And so as I can unpack and get back around my second, the other things. The second story that I came to believe I can slowly start to reveal come into become the man I was designed to be." 13:10 - "if my brothers know both my second story and my first story, they get to ask me that question. How would you like to engage right now?" 14:30 "Awaken within your child the way that they should go, then when in the future they will not depart from it. So if our task as parents, as fathers is to awaken within our children the glory that God has written there, that original story, that image of God written into their lives as he wants to let the world know who he is through them. If we can awaken that in them, then then I think they they will. Of course, they will still have traumas and tragedies and things that happen to them. Yeah, but the likelihood of them struggling in the ways that many of us have is is far less so." 15:12 "our job as fathers is not to protect our children from pain." 18:57 - "our stories leak, and we might think that we're doing well. We might think that we are the the top of the totem pole as far as killing it at work and killing it at home and killing it everywhere, killing it at church. But are stories, the stories of pain, the stories of struggle, those stories of trauma they will leak?" 19:35 - Start doing this work today because the benefits the family tree changing benefits will be for generations to come." 21:44 - Trauma passes down through generations until someone has the courage to feel it. It's going to continue to pass down through generations until someone has the courage to feel it and to face it into and to process it. Let us be those dads. Let us be those guys who stop the generational pass down of trauma. And it doesn't get passed down" Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26   Episode Links:   https://www.restorationcounselingnoco.com/ Man Maker Book - https://www.amazon.com/Man-Maker-Project-Born-Made/dp/1498206158 Restoration Project: https://www.restorationproject.net/ FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team   Conversation Transcript   Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter Chris Bruno There is nothing more exciting to me than the intersection of transformation and adventure. This is why I founded Restoration Counseling - a place where we daily engage the power of restoration and epic re-storying. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I specialize in men and masculinity, sexual addiction, trauma and abuse. My experience as a men’s therapist and my work with men at Restoration Project provide me a wealth of experience when navigating the landscape of a man’s heart. As I work with clients, my focus is on discovering and “reading” the narrative of their lives and guiding them toward the transformation that comes through adventurously and honestly engaging our sorrows AND our glories. This, to me, is what I was created for. Episode 200 Party: Tuesday, January 9th from 8-10pm we are gathering 200 dadAWESOME friends for a couple hours of fun. Spikeball, Cornhole, Music, dadAWESOME Giveaways, Food Trucks and some Vision/Mission/Hopes for what's next. We're hosting this party in NE Minneapolis at Ninth Street Soccer and Coffee: 801 SE 9th St, Minneapolis, MN 55414 Here's the RSVP Form: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26 Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Show Notes: Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26 Text “DAD” to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to become an intentional dad 6:58 -Parallels from a Rafting Guide to a Father 7:02 - "It's our first time down this river when we're fathering our kids and it's not our first time down the river." 07:14 - "We can still guide our children down the river that we've never been down before because we've been down rivers before." 7:46 - "What I've experienced in the past, my kids won't experience, but they may experience something similar. And that just gives me the freedom to kind of journey down a river and see what comes." 9:02 - "we became the men that we are today because of the men that were with us before and the guidance of the men that we had or the lack of guidance of the men that we didn't have, that that's so impactful for who we became." 9:16 - "the most important person in our lives as far as men goes is our dad. If he was there or if he wasn't there, that's important. And there's a shaping that happens inside of us in his presence, his intentionality, his wisdom, his guidance, just like we were talking about with the raft. All of those things are super important for how we've navigated life." 9:47 - "There are two ways I think that fathers bring destruction into their children's lives. It's either in their absence or in their violence and in his presence, He brings life and he brings words and, you know, attention and affection and intention. But when those you know, whether it's violence or there's absence, there's going to be something significantly kind of shaping in the life in our lives. And the fact is that all of us have that to some degree, because we don't live, we don't live in the Garden of Eden. 10:22 - "all of us have some level of wounding and pain that we've experienced, and therefore we bring that in. So in order for us to be the kinds of dads that we want to be that are dadAWESOME dads, right, that it's not that we muster something up, it's more that we need to read our story and it's more that we need to read our story of where have we come from?" 10:45 - Kurt Thompson says, "the number one variable for children to grow up with the ability to connect in a secure way in relationships, the number one variable for that to happen is the parents investigation of their story" their own story. 12:30 - TEDx talk from Chris Bruno about his childhood - https://www.ted.com/talks/chris_bruno_restory_how_to_live_your_truest_story 14:02 - "There is something beautiful in my parents that just decided we're not going that route. (Special Needs Sister) We're not going that route and we're actually going to keep her at home and we're going to find ways to love on this child and bring her up in the context of our own home." 15:24 - "My horse died and there was something about that experience where I was in the house watching the vet with with the horse outside, they were outside in the corral and I watched my horse collapse and it was in that moment that something inside of me collapsed as well. And I couldn't do anything. I couldn't get out to the horse. My parents had said, Don't go out there, and I was 13 years old." 15:52 - "something inside of me collapsed. And I remember distinctly kind of making a vow inside of my own soul this little 13 year old boy vow of I'm not going to give my heart to another like that again because he had become my companion..." 16:22 - "...And that collapsed inside of me is actually something that I have had to work on pretty hard to to trust God for to move into, to explore my own story so that I can then be present, not collapsed, but present to my wife and to my kids." 17:29 - There was something inside of me that shut down and closed off, walled off, pulled away. And it was almost like I felt myself just, you know, pull into myself. And it wasn't like I was going to offer that part of myself to someone else again, because it was far better to be distant than disappointed. 19:35 - big T traumas and little t traumas 20:16 - "It's the little tiny traumas that also need someone to come alongside of you and help you process." 20:25 - "we are heaps of undigested experience where heaps of undigested experience and and if we have it, just think about indigestion. When you have indigestion, there's something unwell about your body. And so if there's undigested experience, there's something unwell about your soul and we need someone to come alongside of us and to be with us and partner with us and and talk through those things with us to digest the experience so that in that moment, we can make meaning in a way that that won't be a traumatic meaning. It won't be one of those collapsed or vows or walled off moments in a life. 21:08 - "If a parent walked back into the house... if I had a mom or a dad, come back to me and sat with me on my bed and let me cry it out and and listen to me and share it with me and empathize with me and all that. I probably wouldn't have walled off maybe a little bit, but not as not to the degree that I did. 21:38 - "What makes a trauma is the is the actual event causing the trauma. But what makes it a kind of an overwhelming, ah, traumatic ah, tragedy over a lifetime is that there is no one to process or digest experience with you." 22:28 - We were never meant to parent alone. And I think there's something that we can learn from our international brothers and sisters who who are in communities of of a lot more tight knit, a lot more connectedness than we are in America. 23:39 - "We are our best father when we have our best brothers with us. And so we need those guys and those are the guys that you came in and went rafting with, you know, with me... Those are those guys in my life and we need our brothers. But then also sometimes we need someone else who's on the outside who's got some training is a professional in some ways to come along side to create a safe space for a child to unfold. 24:25 - "I don't know about you, Jeff, but my kids trigger the heck out of me. They trigger the story in me to know degree. Like there is there, there are only a few people who trigger me. So significantly it is my wife and it's my kids." 24:53 - "I can't actually be as available to my kids as I want to be. And so I need help. I need someone to come alongside of me. And there have been people in my kids lives that have been there for them in some really hard places. Mentors, counselors, coaches, teachers, my friends who have taken them under their wing for a season. It's so, so important for for people to make that available to their kids." 26:04 - "our friendships that are kids can benefit from. First, have to be friendships that we benefit from." 26:22 - "we need to move from buddy and to brother and and to go from buddy to brother requires the two of you men or the three of you, the five of human to be willing to engage those parts of your lives and your stories that we've been talking about today." 26:39 - "those men know my story and they have offered their compassion. They've offered their empathy. They've offered their question, their curiosity. And they've also and they've also when they see me walling off. Now, they know where the story comes from and they're able to not like, hit me upside the head with a two-by-four, but more so. Gently come alongside of me and asked me the question, is this what you would like to do right now?" Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26 Episode Links: https://www.restorationcounselingnoco.com/ Man Maker Book - https://www.amazon.com/Man-Maker-Project-Born-Made/dp/1498206158 Restoration Project: https://www.restorationproject.net/ FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Conversation Transcript Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Tim Olson   Tim Olson is an author, teacher, Principal. Pastor, and life coach with forays into audio publishing, radio hosting, and home remodeling. His understanding of father-child relationships was fostered through years of observation and application in education, coaching clients around the world, and working with the National Fathering Ministry in Minnesota and Ukraine. As a business life coach, it was through coaching family business owners that the significant connections between a father and his children (or with his own father) finally gelled into observable patterns that helped form the basis for his coaching and for his book, The Legacy of Absence. Through it all, he's found his way to helping others to discover who they are meant to be and to become that person. He and his wife, Kay, have been married for 54 years and are blessed with three children, six grandchildren, four bonus grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. They make their home in New Hope, MN.   UPCOMING FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS 100 Mile Bike Rides   — NEW YORK, NY — October 16th, 2021 — PHOENIX, AZ — November 20th, 2021 Register Here: https://f4f.bike/ Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Text “DAD” to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to become an intentional dad LINK TO PART 1 of the conversation with Tim Olson  timolsonauthor.com 2:18 - Images from the book: present father, the involved father, the passive father and the absent father   LINKS to the images: https://dadawesome.org/195/  2:49 - "You can be present physically and not present emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. And you know, that's actually even worse." Sharing statistics on risk of pathological behavior in children. 6:05 - Story from Ukraine of two fathers that work out of the home - one is absent, and one is still intentional even though not physically close - and the stark difference in the success of the kids 9:06 - Working with inmates, what do they wish they had from their dads? 10:48 - "We've realized that death is not as bad for kids as being abandoned and just just a dad who's overworking is abandonment. We all abandoned our kids. And every kid, every person has been abandoned to some extent, some so little you don't even recognize it. And we don't realize that that's what it is. We just remember the not being chosen part." 11:34 - Describing the reconciliation process 14:21 - "[Dad's role is] to prepare us to face the world on our own. And so he does that primarily by teaching us four things and developing them in us. And those four things are: self-esteem, confidence, maturity and identity. And identity is perhaps the most important because that describes who we are and whose we are.... These are perhaps the most important words that a father can say, I believe: 'You are mine. You belong to me. I love you.' That's identity." 17:17 -  "How we deal with the hurt and wounds of our own father's failures, determines our ability to be good fathers and mothers, you know, to our own children. 17:38 - Quoting Richard Rohr - "If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it." 17:56 -  In Louis Meade's book, he says to forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner was me." 26:27 - 4 Things he shared with his kids: 26:32 - "I know that things happened in our relationship that hurt you. I said things and did things that hurt you. Even now, I didn't even know it. And I want you to know that I would never do anything like that on purpose intentionally, but I know it happened. And so I want to ask you to please forgive me for those things." 27:35 - "I am no longer your parent and you are no longer my child. Well, that sounds pretty offensive at first. I said instead, from now on, I am just your father and you are just my son." 29:27 - "It would please me more than anything to continue to be able to speak into your life." 30:15 - "No matter what you do, with your decisions and with your life, good or bad, it will never change how much I love you. That will never change." 33:01 - Quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter."    Episode Links:   https://timolsonauthor.com/ https://www.dadsfirst.org/ Tim's book - The Legacy Of Absence FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team  

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Tim Olson   Tim Olson is an author, teacher, Principal. Pastor, and life coach with forays into audio publishing, radio hosting, and home remodeling. His understanding of father-child relationships was fostered through years of observation and application in education, coaching clients around the world, and working with the National Fathering Ministry in Minnesota and Ukraine. As a business life coach, it was through coaching family business owners that the significant connections between a father and his children (or with his own father) finally gelled into observable patterns that helped form the basis for his coaching and for his book, The Legacy of Absence. Through it all, he's found his way to helping others to discover who they are meant to be and to become that person. He and his wife, Kay, have been married for 54 years and are blessed with three children, six grandchildren, four bonus grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. They make their home in New Hope, MN.   UPCOMING FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS 100 Mile Bike Rides   — NEW YORK, NY — October 16th, 2021 — PHOENIX, AZ — November 20th, 2021 Register Here: https://f4f.bike/ Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Text “DAD” to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to become an intentional dad 2:55 - Praying for his grandsons-in-law 4:55 - National Fathering Ministry - https://www.dadsfirst.org/ 6:03 - "Dr. Richard Green, a former superintendent of Minneapolis schools. And he said to us, if the kids come to us for kindergarten and do not have an involved father or an involved grandfather, they are already lost to us"  - This conversation was the purpose for working with black urban fathers of preschool children. 6:46 - Working with fathers in Ukraine - starting a fatherhood ministry that has impacted the nation 8:06 - Ukrainian college women drawing where dad sits in the family circle 9:22 - "The father for a time was even taken out of the Russian dictionary.  And and if you go back in history and I covered some of this in my book about how that worked with communism and and Marxism, ...  they did their best to eliminate the father from the family and the the government was supposed to be the ones who essentially raised the children by way of the mothers...the government was in charge." 12:26 - Malachi 4:5-6 12:46 - Gordon Dalby is a great spokesperson about fathering, and he [share that].... the brokenness in this world between children and fathers reflects the brokenness between humanity and God." 14:16 - "We have to try to find the right path or we become complicit in crimes against it." 19:28 - "One of the things that I heard them say often was, 'you know, my grandfather was like this, my dad was like this, I'm like this, and my kids will be like this, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's just the cards we were dealt.' And I would say to him, You know what? That is a lie right out of the pit of hell, yes, you can change. You may not be able to change how tall you are and the color of your skin or anything like that, but you can change your personality, you can change your character quality, you can change the things you want and don't want to pass on to your kids. You can do that." 20:56 - Story of reconciliation with his own son and not wanting to pass on generational sins 31:30 - "Christ's example shows us as leaders in our areas of strength as dads to come underneath our children and our wives to lift and encourage and to praise and to pray for and to make them who God intended them to be. But you know, the moms, their wives have their areas of strength just as strong and in their job then is in their areas of strength is to come under us as fathers and to pray for us and lift us and encourage us and support us to be the best dads we can be. And so there's this mutual coming under, this mutual submissiveness, and it's the strongest, not the weakest, that submits."    Episode Links:   https://www.dadsfirst.org/ Tim's book - The Legacy Of Absence FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team   Conversation Transcript Coming Soon!

dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Trent Walker   Trent and Siobhán are a husband and wife singer-songwriter duo raising their 5 sons on the road full time in a nearly vintage Foretravel motorhome. Their original songs speak of adventure, bravery, reaching out to others and trusting in a God who never fails. Their family motto has become to "live simply, so that others may simply live." Come watch as they cross the nation in search of the joys of life and sharing them with others. If you are interested in having us come and share our song and journey with your church or even a group of friends at your home, please give us a shout. We would love to come and be a blessing wherever we can.   UPCOMING FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS 100 Mile Bike Rides   — PHILADELPHIA, PA — October 2nd, 2021 — NEW YORK, NY — October 16th, 2021 — PHOENIX, AZ — November 20th, 2021 Register Here: https://f4f.bike/ Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Text “DAD” to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to becoming an intentional dad Donate to F4F 5:39 - Dallas Willard - A Life Without Lack 6:18 - Why call the channel EVERYDAY Family Adventures? 7:02 - "Life is pretty awesome. So let's start with that basis and know that I don't want my life to be boring. And that's a choice. And so that's an everyday choice. And so we're going to choose quite effectively to make every day an adventure in some way." 7:47 - "I'm going to choose to have hope and look at tomorrow with opportunity. And I think that we as dads have to go before our kids in that in that optimism, especially today when the world is in a hopeless place." 9:03 - Song: Speak: https://youtu.be/PeT8LQOffDs 14:18 - "I mean, that was kind of the faith and the words that needed to come out of our mouth and begin coming out of our mouth during that time when we were really struggling and we were praying every morning, getting on our knees was just this like, I am not going to leave this place until I get the favor of the Lord because I am done with being passive. I'm done with being like, woe is me. I'm going to I'm going to choose to believe in in this God that I've spoken about all my life, but really never took action steps in it." 14:42 - Missions as a family: "Live simply so that others may simply live." AND "To inspire people to find their own adventure in life, something that will bring them joy while bringing others joy as well." 23:34 - "I believe, the more you worship God, the more you get the heart of Christ and the heart of Christ to be around people and love people. And so I believe the more you look at Jesus, the more you fix your eyes on Jesus and the more you're singing about him and glorifying him and maybe getting your eyes off of yourself. Jesus keeps doing this wild thing. You look at him more and he keeps showing you where his heart is and his heart is the love the world." 27:14 - Wanting the heart to grow bigger.   Episode Links:   www.trentandsiobhan.com YouTube Channel:  FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Conversation Transcript coming soon :)

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jackie Bledsoe   Jackie Bledsoe is a professional blogger, author, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father, who encourages men to better lead and love their families through his blog, JackieBledsoe.com. He’s a contributor to All Pro Dad, Babble.com, Good Men Project, and Huffington Post. His work has been featured on Yahoo!, USA Football, MichaelHyatt.com, and more. Jackie, who has been happily married to his wife, Stephana, since June of 2001, lives in Indianapolis, Indiana, with their daughter and two sons.   Wild at Heart BASIC in Northern Wisconsin When? October 28th through the 31st, 2021 (event ends at 10am Sunday) Where? HoneyRock Camp 8660 Honey Rock Rd, Three Lakes, WI 54562 What is BASIC? Wild at Heart BASIC is Wild at Heart Boot Camp led by John Eldredge and his team through video sessions in your local area. RSVP by signing up here: https://sites.google.com/view/wild-at-heart-basic/home   UPCOMING FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS 100 Mile Bike Rides — PHILADELPHIA, PA — October 2nd, 2021 — NEW YORK, NY — October 16th, 2021 — PHOENIX, AZ — November 20th, 2021 Register Here: https://f4f.bike/ Make a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS   Show Notes:   Donate to F4F Happily Married Couples How I Built This and Stayed happily married podcast BOOK: The Seven Rings of Marriage dadAWESOME Nudge - Text 651-370-8618 Wild at Heart Basic Event - Check out link to Register The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey 4:33 - The biggest rocks related to parenting and marriage 8:02 - heart attack on Thanksgiving 2018 10:35 - Blog post - “what you must teach your daughter before she turns 16” 10:56 - “Preparing your daughter for marriage” blog post 11:32 - Advice: Model what you want to see in your daughter’s future husband - model that in how you treat your wife 14:58 - teaching his daughter to manage finances 19:56 - Marriage advice 21:59 - So know that if you're in a hard season right now, just keep the course, stay the course, stay. ...do not grow weary in well doing. But at the proper time You receive a harvest if you do not give up. So that's the word that I give to you dads as well. It can be tough right now, but keep doing things that you know are going to lead to the end that you want in your marriage and your fatherhood and your business, whatever it is, and trust that that harvest will come at some point. Wild at Heart Basic Event - 4 days, 3 nights. Honey Rock camp in WI    Episode Links:   https://jackiebledsoe.com/ https://happilymarriedcouples.com/ FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team