Talk About Talk - Communication Skills Training

Learn how to articulate your strengths without sounding arrogant by using three key strategies: 'Three Magic Words,' 'Pivoting,' and 'Own It.' Avoid 'I am humbled' and humble bragging. Instead, express genuine enthusiasm and gratitude. Utilize positive feedback, testimonials, and alternative words to share your accomplishments.

Controlling your narrative means purposefully reinforcing your positive and unique traits in a way that communicates your value. When it comes to your personal brand narrative, you can LET it happen or you can MAKE it happen. Andrea shares many inspiring examples of real-life success stories, actionable tips, and explores the consequences of neglecting your narrative. Intentionally controlling your narrative is like having the steering wheel of your career in your own hands. Resources Talk About Talk ep.90: DEMONSTRATING LEADERSHIP: Leadership & Your Personal Brand Class Matters: The Role of Social Class and Organizational Sector in High-achieving Women’s Legitimacy Narratives Connect with Andrea & Talk About Talk: Website: TalkAboutTalk.com Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup LinkedIn: Andrea and TalkAboutTalk Youtube Channel: @talkabouttalkyoutube Talk About Talk Podcast Archive Transcript I have a story for you. About a year and a half ago I was hosting a live question and answer period focused on communication skills and personal branding. A brave woman raised her hand and I called on her. She introduced herself and she told us that she was a lawyer in Manhattan. Then she said, “As you can all tell from my accent, I’m from India. When it comes to my personal brand, I feel like I’m always going to be the foreigner. I’m certainly not ashamed of my background, but I wish my identity was more than this.” Then she paused and I jumped in.  “So let me make sure I’ve got this right. You were born and raised in India, is that right?” Yes.  And you immigrated to the United States? And you passed the bar exam in the state of New York?  Again, yes.  And what kind of law do you practice?  Corporate, she said. OK. It’s time for you to take control of your narrative.  You’re not a foreigner. You’re a corporate lawyer with a global perspective. Stop using the word foreigner. You need to control your narrative. She raised her eyebrows and nodded. But I wasn’t done. “And by the way,” I said. “Your English is excellent. Yes, of course we can all perceive an Indian accent, but really, that’s just a reminder of your global experience.” I’ll never forget the look on her face. She looked as if a huge weight had been lifted off her and she had a massive smile. Then I turned to the audience to clarify this point about controlling our narrative. It’s not about being manipulative. It’s definitely not about being deceptive or sharing falsehoods. It’s about consistently reinforcing something about yourself that’s true and that’s aligned with your goals. And that’s what we’re talking about in this episode – controlling your narrative. Greetings and welcome to Talk About Talk episode 143: Controlling Your Narrative.  I’m so glad you’re here.  Let me introduce myself. In case we haven’t met, my name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki and I’m YOUR executive communication coach. Please call me Andrea!  I’m the founder of Talk About Talk, where I coach communication skills to ambitious executives through 1:1 coaching, bootcamps, workshops and keynote speaking. My objective is to help you improve your clarity and confidence, so you have more credibility. When you have more credibility, you can make real impact. And that’s when you’ll get noticed and ultimately you’ll get promoted!  THAT is my goal here.   If this resonates with you, then I also encourage you to check out the Talk about talk.com website. There are many resources there to help you out. If you’re an individual executive, there’s information about private coaching and small group bootcamps. If you’re a leader or an HR manager looking to boost the communication skills of your team, there’s also information about corporate workshops and keynote speeches.  And there are plenty of free resources too: like the archive of this bi-weekly podcast, AND, I really hope you’ll sign up for the Talk About Talk email newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get communication tips and coaching from me every week. One last thing: I do spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. Like I’m there everyday. So I hope you’ll connect with me on LinkedIn and maybe send me a message and let me know what you think about this episode. Alright, let’s get going. CONTROLLING YOUR NARRATIVE I’ve got lots and lots of relevant examples to share with you – like the story I just shared with you about the women who’s narrative evolved from “foreigner” to “corporate lawyer with a global perspective.”   These are stories mostly from my one-on-one coaching sessions and some corporate workshops, where I helped clients control their narrative in a way that’s true and that’s aligned with their career aspirations.   I hope that one or more of these stories will inspire you to start controlling your own narrative.  Whether you’re a rising star eager to make a strong early impression or a seasoned executive looking to refine your image, this episode has something for you.  I’ll share real-life success stories, actionable tips, and even explore the consequences of neglecting your narrative.  This topic of taking control of your personal narrative typically comes up when I’m coaching folks on their personal brand. I’ll often start out a coaching session or a workshop by sharing some of the specific benefits that we can experience when we develop our personal brand. Of course, there are many, many benefits of developing our personal brand. But specifically the top three that I share are: #1 that it’ll boost your confidence. Simply because you’re identifying your passions and your expertise, how could it NOT boost your confidence? #2 developing your personal brand provides you with focus and direction. And #3 working on your personal brand will facilitate in helping you control your narrative. And yes, you could say this last one works the other way around too. You could say that controlling your narrative will strengthen your personal brand. It works both ways and its helpful to look at it both ways.  Controlling your narrative and personal branding are closely integrated. If you’ve heard me or others talk about personal branding before, you may have heard Jeff Bezos’ definition. He says that your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room. In other words, you could say that your brand is “others’ narrative about you.”  Hmm…. I love this definition because it encourages a mental exercise, where we imagine what the important stakeholders are thinking and saying about us – what  the narrative is – when our name comes up in conversation.  So when they’re discussing who to promote. Your name comes up. What are they thinking and saying about you? Well, if your brand is others narrative about you, then your narrative can shape your career trajectory.  And here’s the thing I want you to consider. When it comes to your narrative, you can LET it happen or you can MAKE it happen. I say make it happen. Take control of your narrative. Imagine the possibilities if you could intentionally shape your narrative. It’s like having the steering wheel of your career in your own hands. Such power! That said, I want to point out that this is about not about being manipulative nor inauthentic – nor creating falsehoods – nor crafting a facade. It IS about identifying a theme that you want to emphasize, then putting words around that theme – the narrative – and consistently communicating those words and reinforcing them with corresponding actions. Oh that was good!!! Did you get that? This can our working definition of controlling your narrative. It’s about (1.) identifying a theme that is authentic and true to you, that you want to emphasize, (2.) then putting the words around that theme. Articulating it. And then (3.) consistently communicating or reinforcing those themes through your words and your behaviors. Alright, enough pontificating! Let’s get into some examples. I’ve got some stories to share. I thought that a great place to start would be with what happens when you fail to control your narrative.  oboy! There are so many examples around us of people who fail to control their narrative. The most obvious examples are with public figures. When, for example, politicians fail to establish a narrative that resonates with voters or with their opponents. Or celebrities who fail to advocate for themselves. This is why PR firms exist, I guess. But of course you don’t have to be a public figure to benefit from controlling your narrative. Or to suffer when you fail to control your narrative. Just this week. I had a consult with a female executive who was in desperate need of help with her personal brand and controlling her narrative. She told me that she was gainfully employed at a company – a well-known company that you’ve probably heard of. She’s doing well in her role as a VP , but she’s getting restless and she’s looking for a C-suite role at a new firm. Based on her credentials , she was invited to interviews by several firms. But she never made it through to the final round. She realized, in retrospect, that she was struggling to answer many of the questions that they were asking her. She was failing to control her narrative One of the things we ended up focusing on for her is her leadership style. LEADERSHIP should be a key theme for many of us when we are controlling our narrative. As a VP pursuing the c-suite, this woman’s leadership is a critical part of her brand. She’ll geta lot of traction by thinking about her true and authentic leadership style and putting words around it, then she can then consistently communicate. So What about you? What’s your leadership style?  Have you taken the time to think about that in a disciplined way? I have an episode on demonstrating leadership it’s episode 90 – I’ll leave a link to it in the shownotes. There are many ways we can demonstrate leadership – there’s leading or managing people, of course, but there’s also being proactive or using your initiative. There’s also being decisive, being strategic, AND we can also demonstrate leadership through thought leadership.  How else can we demonstrate leadership?  How about by using the word “leadership,” – referencing ourself as a leader?  Controlling the narrative!  Simply using  the word “lead” or “led” or “leadership” in reference to ourself.  The team I led.  Or my leadership style.” You get the idea.  Its shocking to me for how many executives this is a revelation.  If you want to be seen as a leader, use the word lead! This reminds me of some academic research I rad a few years ago focusing on how female executives build legitimacy through their self-narratives. It’s a paper called “Class Matters: The Role of Social Class and Organizational Sector in High‐achieving Women’s Legitimacy Narratives.” Keyword for us there? NARRATIVES.  I’ll leave a link to this paper in the shownotes. The authors highlighted how successful female executives consciously employ six different types of self-narratives, or, as they call them, “six different discursive legitimation strategies” to explain and justify their success against the odds. Are you curious what the six are? There’s: Success through competence, or skills, however they acquired them Success through endurance or resilience Success through maneuvers or being a strategic and analytical thinker Success through their social network or relationships Success through serendipity – or good luck Success through warrior-like action – or being a courageous fighter These women articulated their path to leadership (did you get that? Their “path to leadership”) to one or more of these narratives. Fascinating.  And a wonderful opportunity for us. You can check out the paper, as I said, in the shownotes for this episode. And look at the list of narratives in the appendix.  Its almost like a checklist.  Which of these 6 narratives resonates with your story? Is it pure competence? Resilience? Strategic? Based on relationships? Or maybe it’s your good fortune? Or perhaps its your courage to fight for yourself? The narratives we’re telling others – and ourselves! – is rally important. SO it’s well worth the effort to do so consciously or strategically.  This comes up a lot in my workshops and coaching sessions where executives are seeking to overcome an identity that isn’t serving them. Let me share a few examples.  A few years I was running some workshops for some senior female executives. These women were all over the world. We were talking about which archetype best personifies each of us. I am the sage and the magician, I announced. What are you? One of the amazing female executives raised her hand and she said, well, I know that deep inside my heart I’m the jester. I love cracking jokes and making people laugh. But I try to hide that when I’m at work.  Wait, what? I asked. You hide your true persona? Let me get this straight. Didn’t you just get promoted to Global Chief of Staff? Yes, I did. And does your boss know that you have a sense of humor? Yes, I suppose he does, she answered. Well, of course you know you can’t go around making inappropriate. Jokes. And laughing all the time. Period. Business can be serious. But we also all appreciate that person who provides levity when things get a little too intense. Period. And I think that’s you. Let’s make Have you ever thought about making that part of your narrative. You’re a strategic thinker and a strong leader. Who also provides levity when needed. You are a positive influence on the corporate culture.  She was silent for a minute.  Then she adhibited she was absolutely thrilled with that narrative.  It was like a relief.  A way of articulating hr true self and highlighting her value of that true self in the work environment.  Its very validating. So here’s the question for you. Is there some part of you that you’re not particularly proud of? Or something that you’re trying to hide when you’re at work? Is there a way of labeling that attribute or creating a narrative around it that becomes a positive? Of course it still needs to be true and authentic and valid. But have you thought about creating a narrative around that thing that might not be so positive? Let me give you a few examples of. When this is exactly what I’ve helped my clients with. There’s the gentleman who rarely speaks. He’s quiet and shy. Of course, he had the technical capabilities, but he rarely said a word. Certainly he could work on his confidence and that is something that we worked on, but we also worked on creating a narrative for him. Around. The fact that he is a deep thinker and a strong listener, not just quiet and shy. There’s also the female CEO that I was coaching that talks very quickly. The cadence of her speech was. Noticeably rapid. She got comments on it all the time and we worked on slowing her speech. We also worked on her narrative whenever anyone pointed out. Her fast talking. She would say something like. Yes, I’m working on it. I’m a fast thinker, and sometimes that translates to being a fast talker. That simple statement implies that she’s high IQ without sounding too boastful. And by the way, there was absolutely no question that she was high IQ. Admitting that she’s working on her speech cadence, on slowing down her speech, and also admitting that she’s a fast thinker encourages people to think of her as someone with high IQ.  This is a smart narrative. Did you get that?  SMART narrative. This story is similar to the woman who spoke with an accent, the quote unquote foreigner, who shifted the narrative to “global experience.” Speaking of global experience, I met a beautiful mixed race woman at a workshop recently who told me that she’s exhausted with the Q: where are you from? The truth is, she grew up in Canada, as did her parents. Her grandparents were all from different continents.  Instead of sharing all this though, I encouraged her to try this narrative: When someone asks where are you from? Instead of being annoyed, think of  this as an opportunity to share your narrative: “My ancestry is A, B, C & D. I also travel extensively for work and for pleasure. I’m a leader with a true global perspective.”   Compelling, right? She turned her annoyance into an opportunity to share something positive about herself. That’s like my friend Lori, a successful event manager turned professional photographer.  If you met Lori, the first think you would notice is that she’s tiny.  I mean, she is noticeably short. But she has huge personality and capability. She’s type A and she’s very bright.  Instead of letting people focus on her stature, she controls her narrative.  She says things like “I’ll see you at the event.  I’m the short one with the bright clothing and with lots to say.” She told me that she purposefully wears bright clothing so people notice that. She’s the short woman in bright clothes, a bright mind, and lots of energy. She’s a powerhouse and she’s controlling her narrative. OK – I’ve got more examples for you here. Here are a few that might be helpful if you’re seeking to position yourself for a promotion or a new job. Plenty of executives whom I coach talk about their extensive or broad experience. Recently I was coaching a c-suite executive  who was interviewing for A new position. When he shared his experience with me, there was absolutely no denying That he had broad experience. But it wasn’t clear to me, nor was it to him, that this broad experience would actually provide value to a future employer. So I asked him to share some stories with me about how his broad experience has helped him in the past. Then I suggested. Then I said quote It sounds to me as if you have an incredibly. Valuable catalog of case studies. That you’ve experienced first hand. So as a senior executive, you can. Leverage these case studies in the decisions that you’re making, Is that right? Again, that big smile. When we nail the narrative. He was so thrilled. My broad experience provides me with a catalog of case studies that I can leverage. When I’m solving problems and making decisions. Here’s another one period. Plenty of leaders that I coach. Are genuinely nice people. It even shows up in their 360 degree feedback. They are adored. But how do you say this without sounding cliche. I’m a nice guy. How do you say that? And how do you say that in a way where? You don’t sound like a wimp, like maybe you’re too nice and you’re not assertive enough. Well, this is when my advice of leveraging the word using the word lead comes up again. If people call you nice, Ask yourself what kind of leader am I? A few suggestions: Perhaps you could reference your Collaborative leadership style as Of you might highlight how you are people focused, you bring out the best in people. Or you might talk about the type of culture you create to encourage a high-performing team. You get the idea. Take the point you want to make about yourself.  That rue thing, and articulate it is a way that is true to you and provides value to the organization. This is the recipe that I used for all of these examples I shared, and it’s the recipe I encourage you to try when you’re creating your own narrative. I want to close with three things.  My three point summery. Are you ready?: When it comes to your narrative, you can LET it happen or you can MAKE it happen. I say make it happen.   When you control your narrative, you strengthen your personal brand.  Of course,  You are strengthening your professional identity.  But how do you do so? Well, that’s my third point. It’s about (1.) identifying a theme (or themes) that is authentic and true to you, that you want to emphasize, (2.) then putting the words around that theme. Articulating it. And then (3.) consistently communicating or reinforcing those themes through your words and your behaviours. Remember, your narrative is a story worth telling.  I will leave it there.  And if you enjoyed this podcast episode, I hope you’ll share it with your friends and leave me a review on whatever podcast app you’re using. It really makes a difference and I appreciate it. And please connect with me on LinkedIn. I’d love to see you there and you can always message me on LinkedIn.  The post Controlling Your Narrative (ep.143) appeared first on Talk About Talk.

Is it time to update your headshot? What about other photos of you? Join Andrea in conversation with professional photographer Helen Tansey, as they talk LinkedIn headshots, how to get great photos of yourself, and how to integrate your personal brand into your headshot and other photos. Resources Connect with Helen Tansey – Sundari Photography Website: https://www.sundariphotography.com/ Mention “Andrea from Talk About Talk” and Helen will give you 2 bonus touch-ups when you book her Corporate Branding Photography Package! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helentanseyphotography/ https://www.instagram.com/coming.into.focus LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-tansey/ Coming into Focus podcast with Helen Tansey: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/coming-into-focus-with-helen-tansey/id1581128512 Helen’s recommendation: Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast “Wiser than me”: https://lemonadamedia.com/show/wiser-than-me-with-julia-louis-dreyfus/ Connect with Andrea & Talk About Talk: Website: TalkAboutTalk.com Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup LinkedIn: Andrea and TalkAboutTalk Youtube Channel: @talkabouttalkyoutube Talk About Talk Podcast Archive Andrea’s LinkedIn Headshot checklist: It needs to look like you – today Colour vs. black & white doesn’t matter, but definitely use a high-resolution image. Make sure your face takes up most of the space in the circle. You might need to zoom in. Make it a stand-alone photo of you only.   Solid and/or neutral background.  Wear what you typically wear to work on an important day.  Big smile! More on LinkedIn Headshots: 10 Tips for Taking a Professional LinkedIn Profile Photo New Research Study Breaks Down “The Perfect Profile Photo” 9 tips for better LinkedIn profile photos Transcript Greetings and welcome to talk about TALK episode #142, Headshots and Photographs – your online visual brand. When I’m thinking about what topics to coach you on in these podcast episodes, I think about the questions that I get in workshops and one-on-one coaching sessions. Certainly this topic of getting the best head shot or other professional corporate photography comes up a lot. But I have to tell you I have a LONG list of topics in the queue that qualify under that criteria. I have a bit of a different origin story for the topic of this episode! A couple of months ago I was coaching an amazing female CEO on her personal brand. When we were finished identifying the themes, her unique superpowers, I asked her to send me her headshot so that I could include it in her personal branding template. She told me she’d recently had some professional photographs taken and she was really pleased with them. She sent me four or five photos from the photo shoot and asked me to choose one. These photos absolutely blew me away. There were a few headshots, one of her sitting, one of her standing, amazing. The CEO looked beautiful AND professional AND she looked like herself. Her unique personal brand. The photographs were like a visual representation of the personal brand we had been cultivating and articulating for her. The photographer’s name is Helen Tansey and lucky for me, she’s here in Toronto, Canada, where I live. And you’re going to meet her in a minute. Long story short, I started recommending Helen to my clients in Toronto, even before I met her. And even a few clients outside of Toronto booked photo shoots with Helen when they came into town. They’ve ALL been thrilled. So I decided to book myself in for Helen’s 3 hour corporate branding photography package, with hair, makeup and several outfit changes. It was a blast – it felt like a day at the spa. And I learned so much. So I asked Helen if I could interview her so you could hear some of her advice first hand. And here we are! This is going to be so much fun. Before we go any further, I need to introduce myself. In case we haven’t met, my name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki and I’m YOUR executive communication coach. Please call me Andrea!  I’m the founder of Talk About Talk, where I coach communication skills to ambitious executives through 1:1 coaching, bootcamps, workshops and keynotes. My objective is to help you improve your communication, your confidence and your clarity, so you’ll get noticed for the right reasons and ultimately get promoted!  THAT is my goal here.   In this episode, you’re going to learn what to think about in terms of how you show up visually, online, in a way that reinforces your personal brand. I’m talking about those headshots and other images of you. You’re going to learn about what to wear, how to smile, what to think about, and even what to look for in a photographer. First, I’m going to briefly share with the LinkedIn headshot checklist that I share with my clients. 7 tips for you. Then I’ll introduce our guest expert, photographer Helen Tansey. , and we’ll get right into the interview. At the end. I’m going to summarize with some of the key learnings. So as always you don’t need to take notes. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing! Walking. Or driving. Or doing housework. Or sitting on the couch.  By the way, If you are sitting on the couch, you might want to watch this podcast on YouTube. A couple of months ago, I started releasing all of these episodes in video as well on YouTube. This episode in particular, you might want to watch. We ARE talking about our visual image! Speaking of which, I‘m so delighted with the photos Helen took that I’m going to slowly start updating the photos on my website. In the meantime, I encourage you to go to the website anyway. There are lots of resources there to help you out. If you’re an individual executive, there’s information about 1:1 coaching and bootcamps. If you’re a leader or an HR manager looking to boost the communication skills of your team, there’s also information about workshops and keynotes.  And there are free resources too: like the archive of this bi-weekly podcast, AND, I really hope you’ll sign up for the Talk About Talk newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get communication tips and coaching from me every week.  OK, on to our topic at hand. Before I introduce Helen, I’m going to start with a list of seven things to think about when you’re choosing your LinkedIn headshot. I get asked about this all the time, so here’s the list.  If you want to improve your perception as likeable, trustworthy and capable, in other words worthy of following or connecting with on LinkedIn, here are 7 things you want to ensure you keep in mind for your headshot: You want a photo that looks like you. That means relatively recent.  Have you ever connected with someone online and then you didn’t recognize the person when you met this in person? I hear that happens a lot with dating apps too.  Not a good idea in either case.  Make sure it looks like you- today. Colour vs black & white doesn’t matter, But definitely use a high-resolution image. We want to see your face. When you’re on LinkedIn on our phones, the headshots are TINY.  Please make sure they’re clear.  And that leads me to the next point. Make sure your face takes up most of the space in the circle. Many many of the executives I coach have too much torso in their headshot and not enough face.   You can easily zoom in on your face using the edit function on your profile. Make it a photo of you only.  You might like how you look in that photo with your arm around your partner, but we can all tell you cropped them out. Make it a stand alone photo of you. I used to say a neutral background. Now I say a solid or neutral background. Lots of people have a punch of colour in their headshot background and it looks great. The idea is to not distract us from your face.  But photos from your vacation with no palm trees on the beach or – get this – seat belts.  One woman I was coaching obviously took her headshot in her car.  I could see the seatbelt beside her head. So a solid or natural background. You can express your personality more in the bigger banner image behind your headshot.  Got it? Wear what you typically wear to work on an important day. I know a lot of people don’t like this fact, but research shows people will think you’re more influential if your dressing more formally. A suit isn’t always necessary. But stay away from sloppy t-shirts and hoodies. And here’s a bonus tip: solids typically look better than patterns. Smile! This should go without saying.  One study I read concluded that people view you as more likable, competent, and influential if you smile in your pic. And smiles that show teeth were rated twice as likable as closed-mouth smiles.  Even if you hate your job.  Just smile. And that’s 7!  Did you get all that? If not, you can review them in the shownotes. Let’s move on to our guest expert. Helen Tansey started her career as a professional model in Europe and then made the transition from being in front of the camera to behind the lens. Yes, she’s stunning, which you’ll see if you’re watching us on YouTube. For over 30 years now, she’s been photographing corporate executives, actors, celebrities & families. You can see many of these amazing photos on her website: sundariphotography.com. Some notable clients Helen has photographed include Gordon Ramsey, Carrie Ann Moss, Jason Isaacs, Colin Mochrie, Scott Speedman, Supermodel Monika Schnarre and many others.  Helen has been featured on CBC Television, Breakfast Television, Fashion Television, Discovery Channel’s “Behind the Lens”, Global Television and The Candice Olsen Show.  Her work has also been featured in magazines such as Flair, Elle, and plenty of other magazines and newspapers. Helen loves to turn the lens on things she’s passionate about. Of course that’s people. But her latest passion is photographing women over 40 which she calls “Sundari Woman.”  This is also the name of her firm and her website: sundariphotography.com.  I’ll leave a link in the shownotes so you can take a look at some of the amazing photos she’s taken.  Helen’s “Sundari Woman” project resonated so deeply with many women’s that she published a coffee table book which feature over 40 women ranging from 40-93 years old. The book showcases beautiful black and white photos taken by Helen, and alongside these photos, these inspiring women share their wisdom on aging.  Helen love’s being a photographer and takes great joy and pride in working together with her clients to get the perfect shot.  INTERVIEW Thank you so much, Helen, for joining us here today to talk about corporate photography and our personal brands. I thank you so much for having me. I’m excited about this conversation. Me too. I know you have so much incredible insight to share based on your modeling experience. And of course, based on your experience as a professional photographer. So I was thinking that many of the people listening, when they hear corporate photography, the first thing they think of is their headshot, right? So that little circle image that shows their face on LinkedIn, for example. Let’s start with that. What advice do you have for people who want to get the best headshot? Well, I think it’s interesting, because sometimes people just want to, you know, get a headshot up there. But you have to remember, especially with LinkedIn, like first impressions are huge. So you don’t want a photo where it’s like you’re at a wedding. And you can tell that your partner’s been cut out of it or something like that. I know that even a friend was just telling me that there’s an AI now where you can take your own selfie, and then it goes in and changes, but it looks horrible, I think. So I think it is really important to invest in getting a great headshot and keep it really, you know, simple. And keeping it nice and simple, where you walk going on in the background, a solid color, and then just really clean clothes that you’re wearing. And then let the photographer direct you also, because sometimes people will go on YouTube and like, you know, how do you get your picture taken? I have women coming in, they’re sticking their jaws out. And I’m like, why are you doing that? And they’re like, Oh, well, I heard it makes me look better. And I’m like, No, it doesn’t, you know, so just really trust the photographer, that they’re going to direct you to make sure that they’re getting your best angles. And even, you know, we all have little tricks to help you feel more comfortable when you’re smiling. I have something I do. And you know, I just kind of say like, Hey, say hi, because it kind of connects everything and, and just really sort of trust the photographer. And I would even suggest before you book a shoot with somebody to have a consultation so that you make sure you feel comfortable with them. Okay, there’s a lot to unpack there. And I just want to start by saying full confession. I definitely have heard and read that you’re supposed to stick your chin out to avoid the what’s it called? The jowls or something? I don’t know. But you just look like a lizard. That’s true. So many little tips and hacks that people share. So what what so you shared the one about saying, Ah, right. And I know Yeah, when you were directing me. And to your point, I would like to think that I was kind of putty in your hands, right? Like I really trusted you to direct me. What other tips do you have to help us relax and really get the best shot? I mean, you did great, because you just went with it like you completely whether you were nervous or not. You couldn’t tell which was wonderful. And you had fun. And I think that’s an important thing, too. It’s like you’re spending this money you’re getting photos done. Have fun with it. Like what a great opportunity that you get to have photos that you get to brand yourself. So whatever nerves that you know, sometimes people come in and of course, they’re very nervous. Just tell the photographer like even I think when you came in you were like, I’m feeling a little nervous. And I’m like, okay, that’s okay. We got you. And sometimes when you just vocalize it, you can let it go. Right. That’s right point beyond photography, Helen. That’s a great yeah, biggest boost our confidence. I love that. Because you’ll find that you’re not alone with it. No, no, I’m not alone, that that helps, too. I also have another confession, which is I was thinking about the images that exist of me on the internet. And there is one photo when you were talking about you know, the the photo that was taken of you and your partner and then you crop out your partner. I have a photo of me I’m at a conference I was I wasn’t with my partner, but I was at a conference and someone took a photo. And it turned out to be a great picture of me, and I use it for my peloton. Oh, that’s hilarious. Yeah, I will change that. I will change that. So so it has to be you only in the photo obvious. Yes. Yes. And you don’t want to be posing and and you know, sticking your chin out or whatever else. And you said you want to where you talk a little bit maybe about wardrobe. Yeah, for especially. Again, I’m just going to sort of because a lot of people need photos for LinkedIn. You don’t want anything too busy. You don’t want I mean, you look so beautiful. Right now you’re wearing stripes. I wouldn’t use that for a photo. Because it’s just yeah, you want to be the focal point. If you do have a signature like sometimes people like earrings or a necklace, definitely where that but nothing. Again, that’s going to distract from you. And a lot of people, a lot of people when they do photos, they don’t do them again for another five days. 10 years. So you want to make sure that it’s timeless also, right? So even if something is in fashion, maybe just be like, okay, is this a timeless fashion? Right? Or is this just quick fashion? Yeah, that’s a really interesting one I’ve noticed. Lately, a lot of women are wearing exactly the same necklace. And I’m thinking, in two years, nobody’s gonna be wearing that necklace. And we’re all going to know that that photo was taken in the last whatever, three years. So interesting. And also, I told my clients that we want to recognize you, when we see your photo, image on LinkedIn, and then we meet you, you know, for coffee or whatever, for the first time in a meeting, we want to be able to recognize the person. That’s a really good point, too, because sometimes people want to do retouching afterwards. And I’m okay with that, like the the retouching that I do, it’s very light. But you don’t want to have like, all your wrinkles taken away, because then you’re not going to look like your photo and people can tell. Right? And I think especially in business, they can tell and it kind of it to me, it reads is a bit of insecurity. So I think having a great photo for sure, a little bit of retouching, but don’t go overboard, because then you’ve got that pressure when you walk in the room that you’re not going to look like your photo. Yeah, I really I encourage all the listeners to go to your website, and I’m going to leave I’m going to leave the link to that in the in the show notes. But if they go to your website, and they can, you can scroll through the actor photography, photographs, the modeling photographs, and of course the corporate photographs. Yes. See how Helen really has has a talent for making people look like their best selves, but it is real. You can see wrinkles, you can see wrinkles, including mine. So before we go on from headshots, I just want to make a comment about what you said in terms of what you’re wearing and pattern. So I was thinking about that when I got dressed for this interview, and I’m wearing this striped jacket. So I brought to our photoshoot my favorite, I would say it’s one of my signature jackets. It’s a turquoise hounds tooth jacket that I love. And yeah, very politely put it aside and you opted for all solids. Yeah, you want to talk about that? A little bit? Yeah, because you have to remember, again, it’s going to be distracting. And sometimes when patterns come up on people screen, they can get really sort of pixelated. So you want to be careful of that too. Because even though you might have a high quality computer, somebody else might not do you know. So that’s one reason. And also, again, you want to be the focal point you don’t want when they see the photo to see the pattern first and then see you. So it’s really important that you are the center of attention. So two great reasons for wearing solids, you know, to be pixelated, and you want to be the center of attention, not focus, right, not your clothing. One last thing about clothing that I had as an insight was I was wearing fur as you encouraged me to I brought a white blouse. And I typically don’t wear white on here. I’m wearing my white jacket, but I don’t usually just wear white, right like plain white. And I think that demonstrated to me that, that having a simple white blouse, In a photograph, even though you might not necessarily wear one like around the office is a great classic shot. It’s class. Yeah, yeah. And that’s something interesting to Andrew, because sometimes you might have something that you love, but it doesn’t photograph well. Yeah. So you always want to bring a few options, because I’ve had that where I put on something and I love it. But then when you see it on camera, it’s like, oh, it makes you look bigger than you are or the color isn’t right or the Fit isn’t right. So I think it’s really important that you also bring a few options. Yeah. So the things that we’re talking about here apply. I’m thinking not just to our headshots, but also to our virtual meeting backgrounds. Yeah. So all of these learnings, I want to just say that, again, all of these learnings apply, not just for when you’re being photographed, but when you’re showing up on screen in real time in meetings or if you’re being video recorded. Right? I agree. Yeah. So what colors show up best on images? You know, it depends on you like it depends on your coloring. I think I mean, what I usually do when people come in for shoots is again like bring a few options. Like you said that you wouldn’t have thought of wearing the white but I think the White was so beautiful on you. And then I also love the strong color so when you brought you also brought that beautiful turquoise or teal colored blazer, not the hands tooth one, but the other one. I’ve had clients where they were like bring a beautiful red blazer. And if you shoot it on a gray background, it’s not to you you wouldn’t shoot Have a red background, you know, that blue background with a red jacket like that would just be Whoa, it’s way too much. So you have to also trust the photographer that they’re going to balance out the colors so that they’re complementary. And that still that you are the one who’s standing out in the photo. Yeah. Okay, let’s get into posing. We’ve covered now kind of generally how to think about it, we’ve covered what to wear. And you mentioned not sticking your your neck out your neck. Or your chin out, I guess. Right. And looking at lizard. Yeah, I’ve heard things like, you know, this is this is more about like the full body photography. But when when you when you have your hands out, you should have this like claw. This is another thing that I’ve read on the internet, you should you should think of your hands as claws, which seems kind of weird. And also not standing straight to the to the camera standing at a 45 degree angle. And, you know, based on how you directed me, I’m thinking some of these things aren’t actually even true. No? Well, it’s funny. Yeah, because I mean, hands are always really tricky. And photos, because they can look like claws. And you don’t want that. Right. So I have little tricks I don’t if you remember shooting where you kind of bend your wrist a little bit, because if I have this and then have that, it just looks so much more, you know, appealing. And then also, the angle thing is true. Like if you look at the red carpet, where they’re always sort of turned to the side and the hand is out a little bit. Part of that is because if your arm goes flat against your body, it flattens it out and it can make it look larger than it is. So that’s just like creates really nice sharp lines. But I when I shoot I do all angles, as you know, because sometimes it’s you know, if everybody has a shot on the side, it can get really boring, right? So definitely when I shoot I like to do you know the left side, the right side, I like to do standing forward. And I love if you bring pockets because a lot of people don’t know what to do with their hands. So having if you can put your hands in your pockets, or even if we don’t see it, even if you have glasses, you can you can hold the glasses in front of you. It just helps to give you something to hold on to which consent for you. And that you’re not worrying about. Oh, what do I do with my hands? Because that’s something people ask all the time. Yeah, yeah. So I have a three point body language scan that I encourage my clients to use or adopt, which is focus first on your posture. And then on your hands. And then on your eyes. Because we you know, when we feel self conscious, all of a sudden, we don’t know what to do with any part of our posture, hands eyes, maybe? Maybe that’s a good framework for us to start with here. What would you say in terms of posture for when we’re getting Incidentally, I mean, that’s why I always say to people like length, I never say shoulders back stand tall. But I always sort of say, lengthen your spine, right? Because it does. I don’t think people realize if you’re hunched over it can also read as being insecure. Yep. So having that, you know, beauty, and that’s the photographer’s responsibility also, to catch you on that because you’re already nervous. You already have a lot going on your head. And I always believe that it’s the responsibility of the photographer to sort of go okay, take a breath, lengthen your spine. And usually people are like, Oh, my God, thank you so much for telling me that I know I slouch. And especially now because we’re all on our computers. We’ve been on Zoom meetings, were all like a little bit more rounded. Yeah, I’m feeling conscious right now of lengthening my spine. And then yeah, the hands if for those hands, like just sort of, you always want like a little bit of a bend in the wrist. That’s why you’ve been putting them you don’t want Wonder Woman You don’t want them right up, you know, under your ribcage because that can look they also have to remember when it’s being cropped, it can look like very weird, right? So you have to think especially on LinkedIn, it’s a circle. So if your arms are here and they’re cropped, it can just look like you have these stubs coming out of the side or something. So that’s something to be mindful of. So always kind of low Hands on your thighs is really good. Just so you have that little bit of space between your arm and your body. Okay. Okay. And then what about eyes? What should we think be thinking about with our eyes? With regards? Yeah, we’re being photographed. So I think what what we did when we shot is like a lot of people when they smile, they just smile with their mouth and their eyes are dead. So if you just kind of go, Hey, hi, and it feels corny. You know how you do it? No, it feels corny, but it works. It kind of engages everything. Sometimes what I’ll do if people are really struggling, I’ll just say, Okay, think of something that you love. Think of something that lights you up, and I give them that moment. And then they do it. And then it’s like, okay, and you can see the shift. Like it’s very subtle. You know, that’s why when you watch actors on the screen, like it’s very, it doesn’t take a lot to capture that. You know, that’s a great idea of So visualizing something or imagining something that you Yeah, and then yeah, then kind of internalizing that and then exuding it. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I’ve actually said like, think of your kids and then they get stressful on their face? No, no, no, don’t think about your kid on their best day that’s think of your dog or something. This was a new one for me the one you said previously, though, you said, say, ah or Ah, right. Hey, hey, yeah, I remember like, it makes you sort of lean forward. Hey, I think she engaged that of a smile, instead of saying, yeah, he’s. Yeah, right. Yes. Yeah. So we’ve done the your posture, your your outfit, your posture, your hands, your eyes. What about your smile? I think like, to your point, when when a photographer asked you to smile, you just think about turning up the corners of your lips. So that’s so first of all, you have such a beautiful smile. Not everybody likes to smile, right? Not everybody has that big, gorgeous Julia Roberts smile. So what I would say is that if it comes naturally to you, then absolutely do that big smile, but don’t force it. Right. So if your smile is like a little bit of a closed mouth, smile, that’s totally fine. It’s better to have that than having one of those cheesy smiles where you can tell that you’re uncomfortable, and it’s not your personality. So again, I think that’s something that’s between you and the photographer. I can tell right away if somebody’s uncomfortable with smiling, and then I’ll ask them like, is there something do you not like your teeth? Or you know, and usually they’re like, Oh, I’m not a big smile, or and I’m like, Okay, how about if we just do little smiles. And then when I do the hay thing, they usually start laughing. And I can get like a beautiful sort of more of a candid photo. But again, you want to be authentic in your photos, right? So having a photo where you’ve got like a big grin, but it’s not you and you’re uncomfortable with it, then don’t do it. It’s okay. You don’t have to you want a warm, approachable photo, but it doesn’t have to be a big smile. So if I’m hiring a professional photographer to do my headshots, and then I decide I’m gonna go for the package and get more photos, can you share some advice on what types of photos we might be seeking? So whether, for example, you know, you have your own website, like I do, and you need photos for the website, or for most of my clients, you know, they may be they may need clients, they need that my clients might need photographs for their Corp, their company’s website for the company that they work for. Or it might be to share with a biography, if they’re speaking at an event if they’re doing a keynote speech, or that kind of thing. Yeah, it kind of looks do you think makes sense to capture from a professional photography session? Yeah, I think first of all, exactly what you’re saying, like, knowing what Your looks are, I have a woman who’s coming in and she wants to do some fun creative looks. But she sent me what her company uses, which is just like that horrible white background and very straight and measured out. And it’s like, Okay, we’ll do that. And then we can move on to some fun stuff. So, you know, she needs that for her company. But then she wants more corporate photos for exactly she does speaking events. She also wants it for her LinkedIn for a different look. And she also wants to use them on social because social is a big platform now and people use it for business. So even having a great photo of yourself that’s maybe a little bit more of a lifestyle shot. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s a great point. That’s a great point I should have I should have brought that up you know, I by interact on a daily basis with a lot of people including some thought leaders who post images of themselves in various sometimes they’re in a studio, but often they’re even outside right or you can it looks like there may be in their office or maybe even at home. So what kinds of I know you sent me an email before our session, what different outfits Do you always encourage people to bring and then what are some other options in terms of back back to clothing? Yeah, so definitely, I always think a blazer is really nice, especially on women doing a blazer and then if you do a blazer, I personally wouldn’t do a collared shirt under it because I feel it can get a bit too busy with all the collars. So doing like a nice sort of scoopneck whether it be a tank topper, you know like I don’t know like Banana Republic where they’ve got this beautiful T shirts like not like a you know t shirt that you wear it with your kids like a really nice t shirt under it. And then you can do it with a pair of pants. Sometimes people now again now with more casual, you could also do pair of jeans with a beautiful silk blouse can look really nice. Yes. So just sort of playing around and knowing what your colors are. I also don’t mind a turtleneck. Hmm, I think it turtleneck can look really cute specifically on women. Because it and depending on your field, like if you’re a little bit more of an artist, if you’re an art director or something, it just has that sophistication, but it’s got that feel of an artist to it also. So, again, I think a really great thing for your listeners, if they’re choosing photographer, I would suggest to always do a consultation beforehand. Yes, yeah. So that they can sort of walk you through it and sort of go okay, and, and sometimes people will send me photos of their clothes. And I’m like, Nope, that’s not gonna work. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, yeah. And that’s okay. Right. Like his, again, sometimes we have our favorite outfit, but it’s not going to read well on camera. So I think it’s really important if you can, just to sort of set up like a quick 15 minute zoom call, or you can even through email, send photos, and just that way, you are more prepared, because the more prepared you are, the more you’re gonna get out of your shoot. The more prepared and I keep thinking about this, the more you trust the photographer Helen, I emphatically trusted you. I realize in retrospect, I really was putty in your hands. I was like, tell me what you want me to do. And I’ll and I’ll do it which way to look how to smile, how to stand what to wear. I think I brought probably eight completely different outfits, where things were interchangeable, right jackets, sweaters, blouses, tank tops, dress, dress, pants, jeans, and so on. And you went through while I was getting my makeup done to, to choose what would look best on camera, and I completely trusted you. So and you were great too, because you brought like jewelry and rings. And even that, like when we would wear when you would wear gold chains. It’s like, okay, let’s not do earrings, because you don’t want to be too much. Right? Right. So even like that was great that you brought that variety. You brought big hoops. You brought studs, you brought lots of chains, so we can really play around with it. Yep. What about for men? I’m thinking if I was a guy listening to this, I’d be like, come on to me. So I’ve got my nice, you know, high quality blue suit with my white shirt and my favorite silk tie. What else? Yeah, would you. So I would again suggest when I photograph men, again, that corporate feel. And then we do some without the tie. I love the look of a suit with just a nice crisp shirt. And no tie I think is gorgeous. And then the same thing, doing a casual, just like have a nice dress shirt. You know, I think like a nice crisp white dress shirt looks great on a man. You can do something like that. Or you could do not a suit but a blazer. Do you know what I mean? Like just more of a casual blazer, you could do something like that with a shirt under it. And you could even try it with a T shirt as long as it doesn’t look to Miami Vice or anything. But you know, and just sort of for more of that casual feel. So and with men, I don’t know why I find most men wear clothes that are too big for them. Interesting. Yeah. And I’m not sure why that is. I don’t know if they don’t care. And they just but making sure if you have a shirt that it fits you properly, that the neck fits properly, that it’s not too oversized. And try your stuff on specially for men try your stuff on beforehand, because sometimes men come and they can’t do the top button up because maybe they’ve gained weight a lot of people over COVID, right? And then they’re like, oh my god, I can’t do this app. So always like try your stuff on beforehand and make sure you feel comfortable in it. Because if you don’t feel comfortable in it, don’t bring it. Yeah, that’s a great tip. So make sure that your clothing is either new, or it’s in very good shape. Right? And yes, it’s pressed. Also make sure it fits. Make sure it fits. Yes, yeah. So what have you noticed, in your experience, photographing executives in particular, nevermind the models and the actors but but the corporate shots? What have you noticed the differences are between men and women? I’d love to hear. Yeah, it’s funny, because I’ve been doing this for 30 years. And when I first started doing corporate, I found that women, you know, would have that, you know, the arms crossed and being very serious. And, and I feel as you know, we move away from the patriarch, where women kind of step into their power and who they are, that we can smile, we can laugh and, and be beautiful and photos, it doesn’t mean that we’re not smart, it doesn’t mean that we’re not as competent as men are. So I love that where I love that women are coming in and owning who they are and owning their brand, and not being afraid to sort of step out of, you know, the boundaries of what is considered, you know, that sort of headshot, which is very, you know, masculine, I think, yeah, yeah, it’s as you were, as you were explaining that I was I just kept thinking of Barbie right, like, I can enjoy playing with Barbies. And I can become a kick ass leader, right? Yes, I can be feminine, and I can be a successful core We’re pretty executive. Yes. And you can be beautiful and look fabulous. And a photo like don’t downplay that, right. Yeah. Being beautiful does not mean that you’re not credible and effective. That’s that’s a really important message for women to hear. What about differences between older folks and younger folks, when they’re when they’re being I don’t know, maybe executives in their in their young executives in their 20s versus older older folks, I know you really love photographing women in particular, you have a section on your website with that. Any any observations that you’ve had about differences between young and old? I think everybody has their insecurities. It’s just different. You know, if it’s older women, they’re a little bit more concerned about wrinkles, or maybe under their chin. If it’s younger women, it’s more like always my hair perfect. And so everybody has their insecurities. And I think what happens when we do photos, I don’t think we really think about what we, we think about what we look like, but we don’t sort of obsess over it. But then when it comes to getting our photos done, we’re like, oh, my gosh, how are my roots? Or should I was that five pounds, or you know, because we’re recapturing this time in our lives. But also remember, too, that you know, these photos, you’re dressed, you’re wearing clothing, you’re not in a swimsuit, you’re not naked. So if you’re five pounds overweight, no one’s going to notice that, you know, so go easy on yourself with it, too. And then again, like I think that we all have insecurities, but bring it up to your photographer, you know, and just say I’m a little or even I know, when you came in, you got your your makeup and hair done, which is wonderful, because it also gives you time to sort of decompress and just sort of taking the environment beforehand. And so when I’m there, it’s like, I can sort of hear like, if it’s like, oh, I don’t like this part of my face. Or if I don’t like this, I’m like, can make notes of that. So I can address it when we’re shooting. And a lot of times, what I do is I’ll show you as we’re shooting, I’ll show you the back of the camera. And right away, we can make corrections. But you you know, if you love it, you’re like, Oh my God, that’s great. And then you just sort of let go of all that stress and know that you’re in good hands. Or if there’s something you don’t like, Okay, what is it? Let’s tweak that? You know, is it? Do you need a little bit more eyeliner is it feels like too much makeup? Do you need to use your hair a little bit? Should we try in a different tops? Is that not feel? You know, like? It’s it’s a it’s a collaboration between, you know, the person that I’m shooting and myself like, and we’re team working together? Yeah. So when one of my clients recommended you to me, many, many months ago, I my interest was piqued and I went to your website. And then you and I had a conversation, we actually went out for lunch. But you know, it could have been over the phone, I’m thinking about what criteria people should be using in order to choose a professional photographer. And I just want to, you know, kind of start this list by saying the main reason I hired you is because I trusted you. So I had a strong recommendation from someone that I trusted, and she said you were fantastic. And also you did offer as part of the package, the hair and the makeup. And and you have your own studio. So you have a bunch of checkmarks. But generally speaking, is there a list of things that you would recommend people look for when they’re choosing a professional photographer for themselves? I mean, obviously, their website, you know, do you like their work? Is it all? You know, of course, you want to put photos on your website that are great, but is there a variation of different ages of different ethnicities? Do you like their style? You know, because if it’s somebody like I know, right now, there’s this big thing with corporate where it’s kind of like this boho background. And I think that’s great, but that’s not timeless, you know? And then everybody’s got that. So kind of seeing like, is this the style that you want to go with? And it’s not that you like the photographer’s work, but maybe you want something a bit different again, ask them is this a possibility to do this?  And I think the comfort part is the most important thing of finding, making sure that you’re comfortable with the person. And then I’ve even had people say, like, what happens if I’m not happy with my photos? And that’s okay to ask that question. Right? So my thing is, like, if you’re not happy with the photos I want you to be that’s more important than anything. Right? So, so I would, you know, I’m not huge on doing reshoots. Maybe, you know, but but if it’s what it takes to make sure that you feel good about your photo, I’m definitely open to that. But it’s also sort of like, okay, you know, what was it that didn’t work? And how can we change it? So we don’t do the same thing again. So kind of knowing that also is, I think, kind of a good thing, because it takes the pressure off, right? Yeah. So and then just saying that you, you know, further made me, You encouraged me to trust you even more? Of course. Yeah. So I think the trust is the big thing. And as you were describing, going to people’s websites and photographers websites and checking out what they’ve done, it’s almost like choosing an interior decorator, I know, I’ve hired decorators and designers in the past, who were recommended by friends of mine, but then I realized too late in the process, that their style was very different from mine. Yeah. So I think that that’s a really important insight that you identified there, look at what they’ve done in the past and see if it if it conforms, at least to some extent, in terms of what you personally are looking for. Yes, yeah. And I haven’t had anyone do this. But you could also ask for a reference, if you’re really nervous about it. I haven’t had anybody do that. But I guess that’s something you could do if it puts your mind at ease. So Helen, you could just ask them to listen to this podcast episode. Okay. Okay. Okay. So one last question before we get to the five rapid fire questions. Okay. And that is with specifically with regards to personal branding. So a big part of what I do is encourage my clients to take the time to identify and articulate the positive and unique traits, values, personalities of the of themselves. Right, so identifying what makes them unique. Do you have any suggestions for how to make that show up on camera? I think that’s such a good question. It is. Yeah, I know, it’s hard. I think for me. I mean, you know, because you came in and you worked with me, I think it’s just sort of connecting to that person and what it is that they want to bring forward. And sometimes it is just wardrobe, right? Like, sometimes that’s a part of it. But I think that it’s just this, I don’t know what your experiences, but I find a lot of people when they’ve come in, they get their photos done. They just feel like they were at a spa or they feel like they were just in like incredible like retreat. Like it’s really, I really try to make my space and hold space for people so that they feel really connected to who they are and empowered. So that’s really important to me then even like from right, like the makeup artists that I use, and for myself, like nobody has an attitude. You know, you can’t ask too many questions. And, and I really want to make sure that people feel comfortable because when you’re comfortable you shine. Oh, very well put Helen you are definitely going to be quoted. So so it is wardrobe. Right? So we talked about, you know, what colors, is there an accessory, maybe a piece of jewelry, maybe it’s a tie, maybe it’s a certain suit or an accessory, whatever it is, right? For me, it’s the color turquoise and I have not wearing it right now. But I have a turquoise ring that I wear all the time. I always wear the same necklace. And we kept this necklace on I think for every single photo. So there may be accessories or wardrobe things right. But then it’s also how you feel and really feeling comfortable as yourself actually being encouraged to be Yeah, in the photographs. Yes. Yeah. Well, sorry. All right. Well, very well put. Okay, you ready for the five Rapid Fire question? I am. First question. What are your pet peeves? Oh, people that are rude. Like when you’re driving and you let somebody in and they don’t say thank you drives me crazy. Okay. Second question. What type of learner Are you? Visual? No kidding. Photographer, right. And also when I grew up, I had dyslexia I have dyslexia. So for me, that was my learning was visual. So if somebody were to teach me something, if I were to read it, it doesn’t. It doesn’t come into me. Do you know what I mean? Like I have I’m tactile I have to see it. I have to do it in order to learn it. This room, this question reminds me of the fact that you also have a podcast, which is interesting because it’s audio only. Are you on YouTube yet? Well, I’m starting to do that for you. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Okay. Next question. introvert or extrovert? Can I be both? Of course you can. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. What does it call ambivert? And are ambiverts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because I’m very like, like you like, I think I’m very sort of an extrovert. But I also really, because of that, and I don’t know, if you’re like this, then I need to have that time to pull back to myself to sort of regenerate and, yeah, you know what I mean, to release things. I’m a pretty extreme extrovert, but I totally get what you need. Yeah. Like every now that you need to just go have a quiet bath, close the door and just be by yourself. Yes. Yeah. Go for stuff. I get it. I get it. Okay. Next question. Communication preference for personal conversations or interactions with friends and family. Oh, sorry. Call me call call. I feel like I’m on families in the buzzer. Call Oh, yeah. And not people, a lot of people text, which is awesome. But I’m like, I’ve just pick up the phone. Yeah, yeah. Last question. Is there a podcast that you’ve been listening to that you recommend the most lately? Julia Louis-Dreyfus wiser than me? Isn’t it the best? She’s so good. She’s so good. She’s my idol. I loved it. But I love what her mom comes in. It’s just so sweet. And I find as women we need. I mean, I love that you’re doing this too, because we need more women’s voices. And when we listen to podcasts, I think that we learned so much from hearing people’s stories. And I just love that you are holding this space for men and women, but that you are this beautiful, strong voice that is helping elevate women is so important. back atcha Helen, like 100%? back atcha Thank you. Thank you so much, Helen, for sharing your advice and your tips with the listeners about how to get the best photos of themselves. Well, thank you. I had so much fun having this conversation with you. I really appreciate it. Bye. Bye.   CONCLUSION Thank you so much to Helen . After the interview, I told Helen that I just know many TalkAboutTalk listeners are going to want to book her. If you’re considering it, you can find her coordinates in the shownotes or on her website at sundariprotography.com. Helen has graciously offered to provide you with a bonus, too.  If you mention that you listened to this interview on the talkabouttalk podcast, she’ll give you two extra touch-ups when you buy the Corporate branding photography package.  That’s the package I did, with hair and makeup and several outfit changes over 3 hours. SO. MUCH. FUN. Alright, let me briefly summarize. There are the pointers for getting the best headshot – or any shot really, and then a few pointers for how to incorporate your personal brand into the image. In terms of getting the best shot, Helen has many suggestions.  To start,you certainly don’t need to.  But if you’re choosing a professional photographer, first take a look at their shots on their website and make sure you like them.  It’s kind of like hiring an interior designer. The first Q is – do you like their aesthetic?   Whether it’s  a professional photographer or a friend taking your photos, bring a few clothing options with you.  Make sure your clothing is in good shape, pressed, and it fits.  Helen noted that many men wear clothing that is too big for them.  Also dont wear anything too trendy.  If it’s trendy then by definition it will be dated in a few years. Or maybe even in a few months.  So go timeless.  And no patterns. Wear solids.  Patterns can be pixelated and or they can be distracting.  No stripes, no florals, no houndstooth, no patterns.  Once you’re in the studio, you’re posing, you might start to feel nervous or awkward.  If you’re nervous, just say so. I LOVE this insight.  If you’re feeling nervous, Helen encourages us to just vocalize it, and then you can let it go. She also encourages us to say “HEY” instead of forcing an awkward smile or instead of saying “cheese.”  It really works! Or if you’re feeling awkward about your smile, you can also think of something that you love. Something or someone that lights you up.  And use that energy to smile. Last, once youre done, retouching of the photos is fine, but we want to be able to recognize you! SO don’t go overboard When it comes to your personal brand, Helen mentioned that of course, some of it is WARDROBE.  She talked about choosing something visually unique.  It could be a colour or an accessory, like a piece of jewelry or your collection of cool ties. Or maybe it’s your glasses.  But at least as important as wardrobe is your trust in the photographer. This insight is huge. Of course your photo is going to look like the best version of yourself when you trust the photographer. And that’s it! Thanks again to Helen for sharing her insights with us. As I said, you can check out her website and all her coordinates in the shownotes.  You can also find my coordinates in the shownotes and also on the talkaboutalk.com website.  And if you enjoyed this podcast episode, I hope you’ll share it with your friends and leave me a review on whatever podcast app you’re using. It really makes a difference and I appreciate it. Thanks for listening.  And talk soon! The post Headshots & Photography – Your Online Personal Brand (ep.142) appeared first on Talk About Talk.

How do men and women’s communication styles vary? Explore the stereotypes of how men and women communicate, with research as a guide. Consider how much we talk, communication mindsets, our choice of words, vocal patterns, listening skills, non-verbal cues, and confidence. Andrea navigates the nuances, dismantles stereotypes, offers insights into the roots of imposter syndrome, and reveals how embracing these differences can foster more effective and diverse communication in various contexts. Resources Books and Articles Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, John Gray, PhD You just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation,” Deborah Tannen Tokyo Olympics chief says women talk too much at meetings, calls it ‘annoying’, Matt Bonesteel, Washington Post Why Do Men Have Deeper Voices than Women?, Erika Engelhaupt, NPR Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Harvard Business Review Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey, Harvard Business Review Everyone Suffers From Impost0r Syndrome – Here’s How to Handle It, Andy Molinksy, Harvard Business Review Is Your Communication Style Dictated By Your Gender?, Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., Forbes Academic Papers “Physician gender effects in medical communication: a meta-analytic review,” Debra L. Roter, Judith A. Hall, Yutaka Aoki (2002) “Sex differences in eavesdropping on nonverbal cues,” Rosenthal, R., & DePaulo, B. M. (1979) “The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention,” Pauline Rose Clance, Suzanne Imes (1978) “Perceiving Sex Directly and Indirectly: Meaning in Motion and Morphology,” Kerri L. Johnson, Louis G. Tassinary (2005) “Candidate Voice Pitch Influences Election Outcomes,” Casey A. Klofstad (2015) “Strangers meet: Laughter and nonverbal signs of interest in opposite-sex encounters,” Karl Grammer (1990) “The Influence of Facial Emotion Displays, Gender, and Ethnicity on Judgments of Dominance and Affiliation,” Ursula Hess, Sylvie Blairy, Robert E. Kleck (2000) “Gender and Job Status as Contextual Cues for the Interpretation of Facial Expression of Emotion,” Sara B. Algoe, Brenda N. Buswell, John D. DeLamater (2000) “‘Troubles Talk’: Effects of Gender and Gender-Typing,” Susan A. Basow, Kimberly Rubenfeld (2003) “Voice pitch and the labor market success of male chief executive officers,” William J. Mayew, Christopher A. Parsons, Mohan Venkatachalam (2013) “Gender and Power in the Workplace: Analysis of Communication Patterns,” Joann Keyton (2005) “Gender Differences in Communication Styles: The Impact on Gender Equality in the Workplace,” Judith Baxter (2003) “Gender Differences in Language Use: An Analysis of 14,000 Text Samples,” James W. Pennebaker and Deborah J. Stewart (1999) “Gender and Power in the Workplace: Analysis of Communication Patterns,” Joann Keyton (2005) “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” Deborah Tannen (1990) “Sex Differences in Language Use: An Analysis of 14,000 Text Samples,” James W. Pennebaker and Deborah J. Stewart (1999) “Gender and Communication: A Content Analysis of Children’s Animation Programs,” Jodie M. Plumert and Karen Z. Naufel (1997) Talk About Talk Podcast Episodes Interruptions (Ep.128) Taking the Stage, Part 1 (Ep.94) Taking the Stage, Part 2 (Ep.95) Let’s Talk Imposter Syndrome (Ep.83) Connect with Andrea & Talk About Talk: Website: TalkAboutTalk.com Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup LinkedIn: Andrea and TalkAboutTalk Youtube Channel: @talkabouttalkyoutube Talk About Talk Podcast Archive Transcript In early 2021, Yoshiro Mori, president of the Tokyo Olympic organizing committee was asked about why there were so few women on the committee. His response – his formal, on-the-record response to committee members and reporters –was, quote:  “Board of director’s meetings with many women take a lot of time. When you increase the number of female executive members, if their speaking time isn’t restricted to a certain extent, they have difficulty finishing, which is annoying,”  Mori used 38 words.   My response to Mori is just 3 words: DO. THE. RESEARCH. And THAT is exactly what we’re gonna do here! Greetings and welcome to talk about TALK episode #141 Gender Differences in Communication. In this episode, you’re going to learn about the stereotypes we have about how men communicate and how women communicate. And of course, I’m going to take you through what the research says.  Was Yoshiro Mori right? DO women talk too much? Well, let’s just say he ended up apologizing a few times and them he finally resigned. First though, let me introduce myself. In case we haven’t met, my name is Dr. Andrea Wojnicki and I’m YOUR executive communication coach. Please call me Andrea!  I’m the founder of Talk About Talk, where I coach communication skills to ambitious executives through 1:1 coaching, bootcamps, workshops and keynotes. My objective is to help you improve your communication, your confidence and your clarity, so you’ll get noticed for the right reasons and ultimately get promoted!  That’s my goal here.  I want to help you accelerate your career trajectory. If you go to the Talk About Talk.com website, you’ll find many resources to help you out. There’s information there about one-on-one and group coaching, online courses, corporate workshops, the archive of this bi-weekly podcast, AND, I really hope you’ll sign up for the Talk About Talk newsletter. That newsletter is your chance to get communication coaching from me every week. I choose a communication topic and coach you on 3 things related to that topic. OK, on to our topic at hand. Gender differences in communication. This is gonna be fun and I promise there’s lots to learn. But you don’t need to take notes, because I do that for you. I will summarize the important takeaways for you at the end of the episode and you can always rad the transcript on the TAT.com website.  SO just keep doing whatever you’re doing – walking or driving or just sitting on the couch. I got you covered! So – I have to say that People ask me about this topic ALL THE TIME.   And it’s a popular search on the TAT website.   People literally search: “What are gender differences in communication?” I should start by reminding you, as you’re listening this, keep in mind that sex is biological, and gender is learned.  In other words, while there are innate, physiological differences that may explain some differences between the sexes, we should also keep in mind that socialization, culture and learned behaviors also account for significant differences. And of course the differences identified in these research studies are averages for a group and do not apply to every individual – OF COURSE!  It’s essential to remind ourselves to treat each person as an individual rather than making assumptions solely based on gender. That all said, gender differences certainly exist: You probably hear things like “Men are direct. Women are emotional….”  Just yesterday I had this conversation with my hairdresser. We were talking about this podcast, and I was telling him that I was about to record an episode on gender differences in communication. And I asked him what his observations were in terms of how men talk versus how women talk. You know what he said? He said, “Men are generally more direct. But Andrea, YOU are very direct! “ (SMILE) I had to laugh about that. I told him that I agree. Generally, men tend to be more direct than women, and also, I agree that I am probably more direct in the average woman. There’s no passive aggressive here! I say it like it is.  Anyway, so you may have heard the stereotype that men are direct, and women are emotional.  You may have also heard that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Are men and women really from different planets? No, of course not! However, men and women often DO have different communication styles. So, I scoured the academic research and came up with seven meaningful ways that men and women’s communication styles may differ.  Seven is a lot. I agree. If you’ve been listening to the Talk About Talk podcast, you probably know that I’m a big fan of the Power of Three. But when I combed through the research, the insights were more easily categorized in terms of these seven things. Lucky number 7, I guess. Let me tell you what they are right now, and then I’m going to get into detail and tell you what the research says about each of these seven elements of communication. OK, first:  How much we talk  Our communication mindsets Our words (or vocabulary) Our voices Our listening skills Our non-verbal communication Our confidence (and imposter syndrome) Alright – let’s see what the research says!   1. HOW MUCH WE TALK Yes, out of the gates, let’s see if that notorious Japanese Olympic Official was on to something. Remember he said:  that if women’s, “speaking time isn’t restricted to a certain extent, they have difficulty finishing, which is annoying.” Well, let me tell you this, Mr. Mori.  Based on my comprehensive analysis of research focused on gender differences and communication volume, it seems that if anything, the opposite might be true!  While there IS a common PERCEPTION that women and girls talk more, be it in the classroom or in business, this perception INCORRECT.   You can imagine how this research was done, right? They could count words or they could measure time when women talk versus when men talk in various contexts. It’s pretty simple research to conduct, actually.  But important research, so we can dispel the incorrect messages like what Mr. Mori is pontificating.  By the way, all of the research papers that I referenced for this episode are included in the show notes. You can find the show notes in your podcast app or on the Talk About Talk website. Before we move on, one more point  I wanted to share from the research on how much we talk. I found a paper called “Physician gender effects in medical communication: a meta-analytic review” This paper concludes that female doctors spend an average of 2 minutes longer talking to their patients. In other words, your female physician may talk more, bu only because they spend more time with you than a male physician. Hmm.  OK, let’s move on to  2. COMMUNICATION MINDSETS The research on this on is quite definitive.  Women are more focused on relationships and emotions, while men are more direct and focused on information sharing.  Even starting at a young age, multiple sources demonstrate that women use communication as a tool to enhance social connections and create relationships, While men use language to command dominance, power, and to achieve tangible outcomes. In a 2009 study of over 400 participants, researchers concluded significant differences in how men and women perceive the benefit of work relationships. Men focus on relationships at work as a means to get the job done.  Women value relationships at work in terms of social and emotional support. For women, work friendships are a key driver of job satisfaction. In other words: men tend to be task-oriented while women are relationship-oriented. men may engage in “report talk” while women gravitate to “rapport talk” A helpful way to think about this is that men tend to be “friendly” while women are “friends.” (Thanks to my friend Mary for this one!)  Let me say that again: “Men are friendly, women are friends.” This plays out differently, depending on the communication context.  One research paper I read,  concluded  that in conflict situations, women may approach resolution by seeking compromise and emphasizing collaboration. They often prioritize maintaining relationships and may use indirect language to express disagreement. Men may be more direct in addressing conflicts and may focus on finding solutions quickly, sometimes at the expense of discussing emotional aspects. Another paper focused on topics of Conversation: Research suggests that women tend to engage in conversations that revolve around relationships, emotions, and personal experiences. Men may gravitate towards discussions related to factual information, activities, and external events.  Speaking pf topics of conversation, Let’s move on to the 3rd element of communication.  So far, we’ve covered  1.How much we talk and 2.mindsets. #3 is our words  3. OUR WORDS There are a few things here. Research suggests that women tend to use more expressive and elaborate verbal communication. Men, on the other hand, may prioritize content and use more direct, concise language. You could say that women’s words can be more flowery while men’s is more black and white. Linguistic research has found that women may use more qualifiers and hedges (words like “maybe,” “I think,” “sort of”) that soften their statements and make them more polite.  I’ve read a lot of papers about this, and you may have come across this yourself. Ladies, we need to stop with  these qualifiers. No more “maybe,” “I think,” “sort of”and certainly, no more seeking permission to speak. “DO you mind if I interject here’ or apologies: “I’m sorry – I have one suggestion to add.” WHY are we apologizing? Then there’s the way some women may employ more tag questions or phrases that turn a statement into a question, like “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” This is seeking validation or agreement. Men, on the other hand, tend to use more assertive and direct language.  One other point here in terms of our words and women seeking validation.  I learned this one from Judith Humphrey, a communication coach and author. She highlights how women tend to talk more about their hard work, while men lead and delegate. It’s like women need to describe their work, again, seeking validation. Of course, there are many reasons for this in terms of culture and social norms and yes, sexism. But it’s interesting, once you’ve read some of this research and you learn what the tendencies are, you start to see them everywhere. Let’s move on to #4 – our voices.  4. OUR VOICES Our voices vary across several vocal elements including rate, volume, articulation, pronunciation, fluency, and pitch. Understanding and incorporating variety in (most of) these elements creates a more engaging voice. In other words, if we speak fast and slow, with a high and low pitch, loudly and softly, our communication tends to be more engaging.   This goes for both men and women. The pitch of men’s voices is typically almost one octave deeper than women’s due to their relative testosterone level, the hormone that elongates the vocal cords during puberty.  But we all knew this. Women are also more likely to use upspeak. This is when you make a statement but with an inflection at the end, so it comes across as a question. I’ve noticed upspeak with plenty of women I’ve coached over the years. Once they learn about upspeak and hear themselves, it’s relatively easy to fix. They don’t want to appear as if they’re implicitly seeking validation.  Back to the pitch of our voices though. Plenty of research highlights the benefits of men’s deep voices. Not surprisingly, women find men with deeper voices more attractive than those with higher-pitched voices According to one academic study, male CEOs with deeper voices are more successful than their higher-pitched peers across several measures: they tend to manage larger companies, make $187,000 a year more, and last in their jobs an average five months longer. A 2015 study concluded that the U.S. Presidential candidate with the deeper voice won in every election since Calvin Coolidge. And you may have heard that Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher took voice lessons to deepen her voice prior to an election – which she then won. Alright, we’re rounding the corner here. We’ve covered how much we talk. We’ve covered communication mindsets. We’ve covered our words. We’ve covered our voices. Now, it’s listening. 5. LISTENING Here’s the thing. The anatomy of our ears is identical. Yet somehow, our listening is not.  In other words, it’s not our HEARING that’s different.  But rather it’s how we listen.  What engages us. The signals that men focus on might be different from the signals that women focus on.  Research reveals that women may tend to use more nonverbal cues like facial expressions, gestures, and body language to convey meaning, while men may rely more on verbal cues. This sounds similar to what I was just saying, in terms of mindsets. Men are more direct. Women might consider nuance.  There’s another point here related to listening that I want to share. It’s from my interview with Judith Humphrey.  She notes that women typically don’t assume people will listen. Said another way, women assume people aren’t listening to them. This might also explain why many women use qualifiers to get a word in. But I wonder if we shift to assuming people are listening, then they will.  If you think this might apply to you, I challenge you to try to shift your mindset.  People. Are. Listening. And yes, I have a big smile on my face as I’m saying this into the microphone – I hope you’re still listening. On more thing related to listening. It’s about interrupting.  I did a whole episode on interrupting recently.  It’s episode 128. I share lots of research in that episode, much of which was conducted by Professor Sally Farley at the university of Baltimore. So, if you’re curious I encourage you to check out that episode. Three of the most relevant and impt things I want to share with you from that episode: #1: Men interrupt more than women. Hmm. #2: Who’s “allowed” to interrupt and who is not, has a lot to do with relative STATUS #3: (This is where it gets good) If someone of higher status interrupts you, let it go.  Everyone expects it and no one thinks less of you for letting it go.  But if a more junior person or perhaps your competitive peer interrupts you, that’s when you need to stand your ground.  Does that make sense? This all reminds me of the verbal sparring, focused on interrupting, that we witnessed in the 2020 vice presidential debate between Kamala Harris and Mike Pence. Do you remember that? Well, that leads me to turn-taking and tracking the ratio.  If you’ve been listening to this Talk About Talk podcast for a while, You’ve likely heard me encouraging you to track the ratio.  As in track the proportion of the conversation when you’re talking versus others.  And if you’re a leader, making space for everyone in the room to speck up. It’s about tracking the ratio of airtime, and TURN TAKING.  When I was doing the research for this episode on gender differences in communication, this term TURN TAKING came up in several papers. Generally speaking, the research shows that men tend to interrupt more frequently in conversations, often to assert dominance or take control of the discussion. Women, on the other hand, may prioritize turn-taking and show more awareness of each other’s speaking time, contributing to a more cooperative conversational dynamic. In other words, women may be more likely to track the ratio. Interesting, right?  But I have to say, in my experience, I have not noticed this.  The senior executives that I coach, men and women, are all focused on tracking the ratio.  But I also know there’s a self-selection bias here.  I’m coaching folks who are literally investing in their communication skills. So, there’s a lot going on here in terms of gender differences with listening in particular.  I started here by mentioning the research that concluded that when men listen, they rely more on direct, verbal cues, while women may tend to rely more nonverbal cues like facial expressions, gestures, and body language. The 6th of our 7 communication elements that we’re focusing on here includes these non-verbal cues, including facial expressions, gesture and body language.  6. NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION AND BODY LANGUAGE The upshot here is this: Men and women ACT differently!  Research shows significant differences between men’s and women’s non-verbal communication. Generally, men display more power and status-oriented body language, while women display more “warm” body language. Various research studies show that MEN’s non-verbal communication: is more assertive and power-hungry shows more dominant behaviors such as side-to-side head shaking, expressions of anger and disgust, and it may be more expansive (as in… man-spreading) You know, that guy who sits with his pegs spread apart, and who takes up as much space as he possibly can.   On the other hand, you might not be surprised to learn that the research indicates women may: be expressive, tentative, and polite in conversation display more AFFILIATIVE  body movement such as smiling and open body postures.  Not open as in man spreading, but open as in vulnerable. Women may also be more likely to touch their face and their hair. You’ve probably heard that this can be perceived as flirting. It can also signal anxiety and stress. Either way ladies, keep your hands off your face. So that’s non verbal communication.  We’re ready to move on to the last, the 7th of 7 communication elements.  So far we’ve covered  How much we talk,  Our communication mindsets Our words (or vocabulary) Our voices Our listening skills Our non-verbal communication The last communication element is confidence. 7. CONFIDENCE & IMPOSTER SYNDROME You’ve probably heard and read a lot about imposter syndrome. But do you know the origin of the term?  In 1978, psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes studied high-achieving women. They were interested to learn what makes them tick and what differentiates them versus other women. They were surprised to learn that almost 100% of these high achieving women described what Clance and Imes called IMPOSTER PHENOMENON.   Thus the term was born. Ever since then, people have been diagnosing “imposter syndrome” (or – doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud) in themselves and particularly in women. Recently though, the “imposter syndrome” discourse has shifted in at least three ways: It turns out that EVERYONE suffers from imposter syndrome! We should focus less on improving women’s confidence, and more on changing toxic work environments. “Confidence doesn’t equal competence.”  Overconfidence (arrogance) is inversely correlated with leadership success.  Humility can be a strength. This is great news for all of us. I could go on here with all sorts of advice for you on how to communicate with confidence and credibility.  But we’re focusing on gender differences. There’s one other point here that I want to share. There’s another commonly known phenomenon that illustrates the difference between men’s and women’s confidence.  It’s with job applications. Apparently men are more likely to apply for a job or seek a promotion when they fulfil one of the many job criteria, while women will wait until they fulfill all of the criteria.  That says a lot, doesn’t it? It also might explain a lot in terms of the proportion of women in sr. executive positions. Alright we’re through the list of 7 ways that women’s and men’s communication may differ.  There’s  How much we talk (turns out there’s no significant difference) Our communication mindsets (Women are more focused on relationships and emotions, while men are more direct and focused on tasks and information sharing.) Our words (Women are more likely to expressive and to use qualifiers and hedges. Men are more direct) Our voices (women are more likely to speak softly and possibly to employ upspeak. Men’s voices are deeper, and deeper voices are associated with credibility.) Our listening skills (our ears are the same and we hear the same things, but we listen differently,  We focus on different things. Men listen to the words.  Women also listen for nuance in terms of non verbal communication.   Our non-verbal communication is the 6th communication element. There are big differences here. Women are more expressive, tentative and polite, while men are more assertive and expansive.) and last –  Confidence – while more recent research shows that MOST of us – not just women – suffer from imposter syndrome, it seems that men demonstrate higher levels of self-confidence. Who’s the better communicator? So who’s the better communicator? Oh no.  There’s no right answer to that question. But I will say this. While I was combing through the research it occurred to me that these differences in communication styles also explains why diverse groups are more high performing. When men and women work together as a team, they can benefit from their diverse communication styles.  I’m curious, as you were listening to me run through all this research, did you consider whether your own personal communication style is consistent with the patterns found in the research?  We have a lot to learn from each other, don’t we? Men can learn from how women tend to communicate. And women can learn from men. For example, women might focus more on leading and being direct.  Sometimes, not always, of course, but sometimes being direct is ideal. And women could also focus on not apologizing, not minimizing their comments, and not seeking permission to speak. And men might focus more on nuance. At this point we have a much more thorough response for Mr. Yoshiro Mori, the Japanese Olympic official. Mr. Mori stated that when women’s speaking time isn’t restricted to a certain extent, they have difficulty finishing, which is annoying,” Well, Mr. Mori, let me tell you what the research says. Academic research indicates that women do NOT talk more.  Unless, of course you’re referencing your medical doctor. Female doctors do spend more time and talk more with their patients. Women are also more likely to be tracking that ratio of how much people are talking. They’re more focused on taking turns in conversation. Perhaps, Mr. Mori, you should try to do the same. And THAT is a great place to end this episode! If you ever have any questions or suggestions for me, I LOVE hearing from you! Yes, even you, Mr. Mori.  There are multiple ways you can connect with me. Everything’s on the talkabouttalk.com website so that’s probably the best place to start.  From there you can send me a message, connect with me on LinkedIn, and even leave me an audio recording.  Like I said, I’d love to hear from you – bring it on. And if you enjoyed this podcast episode, I hope you’ll share it with your friends and leave me a review on whatever podcast app you’re using. It really makes a difference and I appreciate it. Thanks for listening.  And talk soon! The post GENDER DIFFERENCES in Communication (ep.141) appeared first on Talk About Talk.

Discover the power and importance of personal branding in this podcast. Learn how personal branding can boost confidence, combat imposter syndrome, and create new opportunities. Explore different resources like online courses, podcasts, and blogs to develop your personal brand.

Discover the importance of speaking up in meetings and how it can transform team dynamics. Explore ten practical strategies to boost your confidence and enhance participation. Learn about preparing effectively, scripting your comments, and leveraging questions to better engage with colleagues. Uncover the key mindset shifts needed to assert yourself during discussions and foster collaboration in the workplace. This insightful guide is perfect for anyone looking to improve their communication skills in a professional setting.

"Communicating with IMPACT" features Jennifer T. Lee, Vice-Chair at Deloitte, who shares 3 communication tactics for elevating impact. She emphasizes the power of curiosity, respect, and establishing the value of each person in the room. They discuss impactful introductions, storytelling, cadence, and the significance of respect and empathy in communication. The episode highlights the importance of inclusivity and diversity, as well as considering others' perspectives for greater impact.

Introducing yourself can be a breeze rather than a burden! Discover a simple 3-point framework to enhance your self-introduction. Emphasize your personal brand while keeping it engaging and authentic. Learn how enthusiasm can make all the difference in professional settings. Plus, pick up some general tips to ensure you leave a memorable impression every time!

Communicating with precision improves comprehension, recall, persuasion, and likeability! Whether it’s verbal or written, clear and concise communication is appreciated by others. Learn three strategies you can employ to communicate with precision.   Connect with Andrea & Talk About Talk: Website: TalkAboutTalk.com Communication Coaching Newsletter:  https://talkabouttalk.com/blog/#newsletter-signup LinkedIn: Andrea and TalkAboutTalk Youtube Channel: @talkabouttalkyoutube Re-release of ep.103. The post #136 Communicating with Precision appeared first on Talk About Talk.

Guest Sharon Mah-Gin, an executive recruiter and job-seeking advisor, shares valuable insights for job seekers including the first steps to take when starting a job search, the importance of personal branding, and the significance of networking and informational interviews. She also emphasizes the value of respect and making it easy for the other person during interviews. Three key tips for job seekers are developing a unique personal brand, identifying job preferences, and updating their LinkedIn profile.