

The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast
Jack Shitama
The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast uses a family systems theory approach to increase your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being so you can be the best leader possible. Each episode explores research and practical tips to help you be a personal and professional non-anxious presence.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jan 20, 2020 • 16min
Episode 54: How to Have a Congregational Conversation on a Difficult Subject
If the Protocol for Separation in The United Methodist Church passes, it will require many congregations to have difficult discussions. Doing so in a way that minimizes surrounding togetherness pressure gives the congregation the best chance to do so in a healthy way.
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Jan 13, 2020 • 20min
Episode 53: Self-Differentiation (Rebroadcast)
One of the most popular episodes focuses on a fundamental family systems concept. Self-differentiation is the key to effective leadership.
Show Notes:
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman
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Jan 6, 2020 • 17min
Episode 52: How to Deflect Anxiety
A rule of thumb for dealing with anxious people and anxious situations is, "Don't argue. Don't agree. Stay connected." Deflection can help you do this.
Show Notes:
How to Deflect Difficult Questions in an Interview or Negotiation by Brad Bitterly and Maurice E. Schweitzer
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Dec 30, 2019 • 18min
Episode 51: Anxiety, Apologies and the Definition of Success
This episode shares helpful research on how to make an effective apology. More importantly, it unpacks why this is important for the non-anxious leader. It's about taking responsibilty for self.
Show Notes:
Dr. Joseph Bentley's website Taming Wicked Problems
Freakonomics Episode 353: How to Optimize Your Apology
Success Story: Robert Fulghum vs. Beethoven by Joseph C. Bentley Ph.D
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Dec 23, 2019 • 18min
Episode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2)
Different parts of our brain are responsible for how we respond to anxious situations. Understanding how they function can help us better self-regulate.
Show Notes:
The Concept of the "Triune Brain" by Andreas Komninos
THE EVOLUTIONARY LAYERS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN from mcgill.ca
Amygdala hijack from Wikipedia
Getting to Know Your Three Brains (five part series) by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWPart 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5
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Dec 16, 2019 • 17min
Episode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2)
The Hot-Cold empathy gap predicts that our actions will not be what we think unless we are in the same emotional state. Understanding this can help us better prepare for anxious situations so we can be a non-anxious presence.
Show Notes:
In The Heat Of The Moment: How Intense Emotions Transform Us from Hidden Brain
Empathy Gap from Wikipedia
Real Versus Imagined Gender Harassment by Julie Woodzicka and Marianne Lafrance
Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety by Jack Shitama
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Dec 9, 2019 • 19min
Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection
Comparing ourselves to others often results in envy. This sometimes drives us to get better, but has significant downsides. Understanding how envy and empathy work can help us have healthy emotional connections in the systems in which we function.
Show Notes:
Feeding the Green-Eyed Monster: What Happens When Envy Turns Ugly from Hidden Brain
Schadenfreude (Merriam-Webster)
Empathy Is Tearing Us Apart by Robert Wright (Wired)
Identity and Emergency Intervention: How Social Group Membership and Inclusiveness of Group Boundaries Shape Helping Behavior by Mark Levine, et. al.
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Dec 2, 2019 • 18min
Episode 47: The Year End Review (with a Family Systems Take)
The most effective leaders do a year-end review. Here are three approaches, including the one that I use. Doing a year-end review will take you about an hour. It will not only help you make the most of your 2019 experiences, it will help you prepare to get a great start in 2020.
This month's theme in The Non-Anxious Leader Network is "Reflection." If you're not a member, join our free community to reflect on 2019 and focus on what matters most to you in 2020.
Show Notes:
Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead by Tim Ferriss
Advice for Entering the New Year: The Yearly Review by Matt Perman
Reviewing the Past Year & Looking Ahead to the Coming Year by Kathy Paauw
One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks by Jack Shitama
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Nov 25, 2019 • 14min
Episode 46: Origin Stories and Family Narratives (the Holidays are coming)
Sharing "origin" stories and family narratives makes a family stronger. The holidays are an especially good time to make this happen. Whether you're asking the right questions or sharing your stories, doing this will help everybody relax and connect with each other.
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Show Notes:
The Psychology Behind Superhero Origin Stories by Robin Rosenberg
The Stories That Bind Us by Bruce Feiler
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Nov 18, 2019 • 16min
Episode 45: Understanding Free Will and Self-Regulation (the Holidays Are Coming)
Yuval Noah Harari maintains that the greatest threat to freedom is the myth of free will. This episode examines free will to understand how we can better self-regulate in anxious situations.
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Show Notes:
The Myth of Freedom by Yuval Noah Harari