The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast
Jack Shitama
The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast uses a family systems theory approach to increase your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being so you can be the best leader possible. Each episode explores research and practical tips to help you be a personal and professional non-anxious presence.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Nov 11, 2019 • 17min
Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump's leadership style)
Effective leaders are able to say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. The Gottman Institute offers four rules to guide political discussions. Arthur C. Brooks offers these to help end what he describes our culture of contempt. This episode unpacks these from a family systems perspective, as well as takes another look at President Donald Trump's leadership style in the midst of an impeachment inquiry.
Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's FREE)
Show Notes:
Gottman’s Four Rules for a Better America by Michael Fulwiler of The Gottman Institute
Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from Our Culture of Contempt by Arthur C. Brooks
Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t)
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Nov 4, 2019 • 17min
Episode 43: Four Relationship Warning Signs (and How to Deal with Them)
Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling are signs that a relationship is going downhill. Maintaing self-differentiation and a non-anxious presence can turn things around.
Show Notes:
The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute
The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Oct 28, 2019 • 20min
Episode 42: Effective Leaders Trust Self and Others
Trust is a key leadership competency. Developing a culture of trust requires trusting self, then trusting others.
Show Notes:
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman
The Fundamental Attribution Error
Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath
The Moral Molecule: How Trust Works by Paul J. Zak
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Oct 21, 2019 • 21min
Episode 41: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 3 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness for the Rockies. He has been training clergy for 20 years to apply family systems theory in their leadership. In this segment, he discusses how to stay connected to anxious people, how to avoid isolation, and the impact of change.
Show Notes:
Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Oct 14, 2019 • 24min
Episode 40: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 2 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. In this segment, he talks about how to deal with sabotage in the context of a church meeting.
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Oct 7, 2019 • 24min
Episode 39: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 1 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. He has been training clergy in how to be a non-anxious leader since 1999. This is part one of a three part interview. In today's segment, Bill shares the importance of staying connected, process and content, and identifying healthy leaders.
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Sep 30, 2019 • 19min
Episode 38: Spiral Dynamics, Richard Rohr and the Problem We Face
Spiral dynamics is a model that helps us understand both human and societal development. The challenge of the 21st century is finding unity in the midst of ever-growing diversity. Understanding family systems can help.
Show Notes:
Stages of Social Development: The Cultural Dynamics that Spark Violence, Spread Prosperity, and Shape Globalization by Don Edward Beck, Ph. D.
The Liturgists Podcast, Episode 5: Spiral Dynamics
Fr. Richard Rohr – The One and The Many
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Sep 23, 2019 • 14min
Episode 37: Parent is a Noun (and How that Applies to Leadership)
The word "parenting" first appeared in the late 1950's. Developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik maintains that parenting is a bad idea. Parent is a noun, not a verb. This has important implications for leaders who want to help others be their best.
Show Notes:
Alison Gopnik’s Advice to Parents: Stop Parenting! by Peter Gray, Ph.D., Psychology Today.
What Kind Of Parent Are You: Carpenter Or Gardener? by Sasha Ingber, NPR
The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children by Alison Gopnik
'Free Range' Parenting's Unfair Double Standard by Jessica McCrory Calarco, The Atlantic
Sep 16, 2019 • 16min
Episode 36: The Illusion of Control (and Why It Matters)
We sometimes think we have more control than we do. At other times we underestimate the amount of control we have. Knowing the difference is an important leadership competency.
Show Notes:
Choiceology: Season 4 Episode 1
Keeping the illusion of control under control: Ceilings, floors, and imperfect calibration by Francescas Gino, Zachariah Sharek and Don Moore
Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Sep 9, 2019 • 15min
Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn't)
Being able to recognize and respond effectively to emotional sabotage is essential for leading change. Empathy is good, except when it's not. This episode helps to unpack the difference.
Show Notes:
The following episodes are helpful in further understanding how to respond to sabotage:
Episode 19: Self-Regulation–the Key to Being a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously Attacked
