Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

Disclaimer: This episode includes discussion of sensitive topics, including abuse, sexual abuse, and childhood sexual abuse. Although there are no explicit descriptions of child sexual abuse during the episode, please take care of yourself as you listen. If this content feels overwhelming or triggering, we encourage you to pause or take a break. Your safety and well-being matter more than anything we share here.In this potent and deeply personal episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with Abigail Gunn, MsEd, LMHC, LPC, licensed therapist and founder of People Make Sense. Abigail is changing the way we talk about childhood trauma, dissociation, and recovery—with compassion, sharp clarity, and a commitment to truth.This conversation explores how parenting can become a powerful catalyst for facing your trauma. Abigail shares how having children of her own helped surface repressed memories, and how her time in Al-Anon played a key role in awakening her from long-standing dissociation.Rythea also shares her experience of retrieving her own repressed memories through dreams, writing, and reenactment in therapy. Together, Cara, Rythea, and Abby explore what happens when a child is forced to choose between their own humanity and the perceived humanity of the adults around them. They discuss how trauma shapes the developing brain, and how dissociation becomes a survival strategy that can last long into adulthood.Key Topics:Childhood trauma as a profound and formative experienceThe myth of “false memory syndrome” and its negative impact on survivorsTrauma as neurodiversity—and what it teaches us about the brainHow trauma interrupts development and distorts the crucial stage of reality testingThe weaponization of attachment, care, pleasure, and love performed by perpetratorsParenting as a trigger and pathway to memory retrievalReclaiming self-worth by placing responsibility on abusersThe body’s role in healing and bringing forth memoriesAbigail shares how recovering memories of her own childhood sexual abuse led her to challenge dominant narratives in psychology, including the myth of “False Memory Syndrome.” She brings a fierce softness to the conversation—grounded in lived experience—and reminds us that trauma is not a disorder, but a normal response to harm.Get to know Abigail Gunn and People Make Sense https://peoplemakesense.comFollow Abigail Gunn on Instagram & TikTok @people.make.senseSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckSupport the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckWe (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. We’re committed to featuring guests who differ in gender, race, class, ability, sexuality, and lived experience in order to broaden this conversation and reflect more voices. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our growth and healing.Rate & Review: Moved by this episode? Leave a review and help us reach more parents and survivors walking this path. Healing is possible—and no, your kids don’t suck.

Cara and Rythea share their candid struggles with parenting, exposing moments of hypocrisy and self-doubt. They laugh about navigating nighttime routines while feeling triggered by past wounds. The duo fosters a discussion on the balance between allowing children autonomy and managing their own emotional responses. They highlight the unrealistic expectations placed on mothers and the importance of modeling vulnerability in connection with kids. Ultimately, they remind listeners that the messy reality of parenting is a journey filled with learning and growth.

Leslie Priscilla, founder of Latinx Parenting and a Queer Neurodivergent Xicana, discusses how parenting is intertwined with social justice. She shares insights on resisting oppressive parenting patterns and embracing ancestral values, particularly in marginalized communities. The conversation highlights the shift from traditional methods to nonviolent and compassionate approaches, emphasizing collaboration and organic learning. Leslie also reflects on the need for meaningful dialogue around race and trauma, advocating for healing connections within families.

We heard you and you want to know: How the hell do you collaboratively and consciously parent when you have multiple kids?! Non-coercive, conscious mom-to-five, Tanisha Henderson is here to answer this question and SO MUCH MORE.The episode begins with Tanisha sharing her personal journey to becoming a conscious, collaborative parent. She discusses her inspirations, pivotal moments, and the transformative experiences that led her to embrace non-coercive parenting as her guiding philosophy. She shares how she has come to see each of her kids as a whole person, how she supports the relationships between her children, and guides the flow of a busy and focused household. Tanisha homeschools so her skills are especially impressive when talking about the dynamics of learning and growth. There is no way you will not learn something uplifting when listening to this episode!Tanisha's work extends beyond her own family - listen as she shares her experiences working with other Black families who face specific struggles and triggers that she is has tackled personally and now professionally. We were utterly moved and uplifted by Tanisha’s passion for her purpose and we hope you’ll feel the same!Find Tanisha on her Facebook page: "Kid Advice with Tanisha Henderson" https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100095308454472Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

Join bestselling author Josh Connolly, a leading voice in mental health, as he dives into healing from toxic family dynamics. With a no-nonsense approach, he discusses the importance of clear communication about emotions and the impact of parental addiction. Josh opens up about his own challenging childhood and how it shapes his parenting today. He emphasizes the need for emotional connection, especially for boys, and explores somatic practices as tools for healing. This conversation is a powerful guide for anyone navigating familial trauma.

In this deeply honest episode, Cara and Rythea dive into the nuanced world of non-coercive parenting through the lens of Internal Family Systems, Parts Work Therapy, and Inner Bonding. They unpack what it means to parent in the moment while working with merged parts—protective internal voices that take over when we're triggered, especially by our kids.This episode explores the uncomfortable but powerful truth: sometimes we see our child as our abuser. Cara and Rythea get real about how this perception emerges, how it relates to unhealed trauma, and how those reactive parts are trying—however messily—to protect us.Cara and Rythea share real-life examples when their children activated them, and how they identified and engaged with the parts that took over. They talk about what it’s like to notice in real time when you're not in your Self and how to compassionately return.Key TopicsUnderstanding merged parts and protectorsTools for recognizing when you're not in Self and how to returnProjecting past trauma onto your childThe healing potential of seeing your protectors as helpers, not enemiesCultivating Self-EnergyDismantling parental shame and reconnecting to our childrenThis work isn’t about parenting perfectly. It’s about parenting from presence, about having a relationship with yourself so that you can have an authentic connection with your child. By integrating your own protective parts, you make space for your Self-Energy to lead—and from there, all relationships, especially with your kids, become more truthful and safe.ResourcesMeditations by Dick Schwartz https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartzThe One Inside podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-one-inside-an-internal-family-systems-ifs-podcast/id1460334766Inner Bonding https://www.innerbonding.com/Book with Rythea calendly.com/rytheaBook with Cara calendly.com/caratedstonetherapySupport https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

Joey D’Angelo, a social media manager and communications specialist, embarks on a transformative journey of self-reparenting while navigating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They explore the concepts of emotional regulation and mutual respect, discussing how non-coercive principles can lead to personal healing. Joey shares methods for nurturing the inner child, unlearning harsh self-talk, and embracing childlike wonder in recovery. Their insights into collaborative parenting reveal powerful strategies for building self-trust and fostering empathy, regardless of parental status.

As non-coercive, collaborative parents, how do we move through self-blame and really trust our child’s process?In this episode, Cara supports Rythea to explore the trigger of being helpless over her daughter’s pain. Rythea unpacks, in real time, patterns of self-hatred and self-blame that are tied to underlying beliefs around parenting and self-worth. Rythea, with Cara’s facilitation, models a process of expressing the unbearable feelings around keeping her child safe, happy, and healthy. This episode takes you through the healing process of a parent taking responsibility for her own triggers, memories, and conditioning, in the face of things she cannot control as a parent.The friendship between Cara and Rythea, as well as their knowledge as therapists, guides this episode into places listeners rarely get to see and hear on a parenting podcast.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Diekman, author of Low-Demand Parenting, to explore the intersection of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), neurodiversity, and low-demand parenting.What We Cover:What PDA is and is not – Understanding PDA as a profile rather than a diagnosis, and clearing up common misconceptions.Why PDA is widely discussed today – How awareness of PDA has grown and why so many neurodivergent families relate to this profile.The Low-Demand Parenting approach – What it means to shift from high expectations to a more supportive, flexible, and attuned style of parenting.How a low-demand lifestyle works in practice – Real-life applications and examples of reducing demands to create a more peaceful home.The importance of practicing low-demand living for yourself – Why parents must first extend grace and compassion to themselves in order to do the same for their kids.Parenting trauma and nervous system healing – How our past experiences shape the way we parent, and the ways we can regulate and heal our nervous systems to show up more fully for our children.If you’ve ever felt like traditional parenting advice doesn’t fit your neurodivergent family, or if you’re struggling to support a child who resists demands, this episode is for you. Amanda offers compassionate, insightful guidance on how to shift from a high-pressure, compliance-based dynamic to one that fosters connection, trust, and emotional safety.Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.Find Amanda Diekman’s work at:https://www.amandadiekman.com@lowdemandamanda--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionJoin Rythea's support group: https://buymeacoffee.com/rythealeeRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea and Cara dive into the practical side of non-coercive, collaborative parenting (NCC) - how to guide children without control, how our triggers shape our reactions, and why guiding our kids is an essential part of the philosophy (even though many NCC parents struggle with it).We start by checking in on how we’ve been doing lately and explore how our personal triggers challenge us to reframe our children's behaviors instead of reacting from old conditioning.We also read a listener’s question and discuss how to use play as a way to guide young children—shifting away from control while still offering structure and support. Many NCC parents worry about being too controlling, but collaboration doesn’t mean a lack of guidance. We talk about what true collaboration looks like and how it differs from permissiveness or coercion.This episode is full of real-life insights, practical examples, and compassionate reframing for parents trying to walk the fine line between honoring their child's autonomy and offering the guidance they need.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.