We Are Frauds: How These Parenting Experts Fall on Their Faces Again and Again

Cara and Rythea dig into how hypocritical they feel as parent advocates when they fall so short on their own commitment to staying loving. They have a good laugh and some deep process about how childhood wounds and unconscious aspects of self show up when they least expect it.

They explore specific situations where they have worked hard to be different, but keep getting triggered into the same kind of reactivity. They brainstorm (and unravel) how the umbrella of non-coercive, collaborative philosophy keeps them grounded and afloat, even as they make constant mistakes.

Cara comes clean about the bedtime triggers she faces with her daughter and how demoralizing her trauma responses make her feel. Rythea exposes how a mother-wound with her own parent blocks her from allowing her child to individuate gracefully.

Together, they ask: how does the parenting approach we use bring us back to our hearts and playful connection with our children through the long haul? What does it mean to model a process for our children when we’re the ones unraveling?

Key Topics:

• Feeling powerless or threatened by your child’s autonomy
• Parenting from your wounded parts
• Modeling emotional processing in real time
• Creating micro-moments of connection, even in rupture
• Honoring your child’s developing identity and values
• The tension between belief and behavior in parenting

If you’ve ever wondered, Am I even doing this right?, this episode is for you. Cara and Rythea remind us that real parenting is messy—and that returning to connection, especially after rupture, is where the healing begins.

Tools & Resources Mentioned:

• The EARS acronym: Empathize, Affirm, Relate, Support/Solve
• Parts Work (Internal Family Systems)
• Co-counseling techniques for emotional processing

Book a parent mentor session with Rythea: https://rythea.com/for-parents

Check out Cara’s Relationship Toolkit: https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/your-relationship-toolkit

Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck

It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.

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