Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat again with Dr. Betty Martin. Betty has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. As part of her work with the School of Consent, Betty travels around the world teaching practitioners how to create empowered agreements in their client sessions, in her highly sought-after training “Like A Pro: The Wheel of Consent for Practitioners.” Originally developed as an offering to teach much-needed consent skills to sex workers and touch providers, this training is now attended by somatic therapists, massage therapists, sexuality educators, medical and health care workers, activists, human resources folks and the spectrum of touch-based professional providers – all of whom complete the training with a clear understanding of how consent starts with our own bodies, and then expands outwards into all forms of human relating, with or without touch. Betty and I dive deeper into her Wheel of Consent framework, specifically regarding the observations she has made about men over the years she has done this work. We speak about some practical ways for men to explore particular quadrants of the Wheel of Consent. Key points: Betty re-introduces herself Betty’s observations about men The Wheel of Consent quadrants The “Taking” quadrant Men’s anxiety around taking pleasure Crossing boundaries vs having integrity The “Allowing” quadrant Surrender and submission Tips for men to learn how to take Relevant links: Betty’s website: https://wheelofconsentbook.com/authors/ Betty’s Instagram: @thewheelofconsent Betty’s Instagram: @drbettymartin

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Jae West, PhD. Jae is the first WA certified Blueprint Coach with Jaiya, has a PhD in Health Psychology & Exercise Physiology, is an established dancer and choreographer, and actress with The Hairy Godmothers. She draws from her smorgasbord of interests to provide fun, interesting and unique ways of exploring pleasure, play and intimacy. The two of talk about embodiment and how we can explore this in both erotic and non-erotic ways. We also dive deep into Erotic Blueprints and how this framework can be applied to sex, relationships, and communication in general. Key Points: Jae shares about her work Embodiment practices Simple embodiment tools Introduction to Erotic Blueprints Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, Shapeshifter Exploring the Erotic Blueprints Practical advice for couples Relevant links: Jae’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jae-West-110301157803098/ Jae’s website: www.jaewest.com Jae’s website: www.aussieblueprintcoaches.com

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Alex Holmes. Alex is a London-based writer, mental health specialist and trainee existential psychotherapist. In 2021, he won the Creative Impact Award for Best Mental Health Awareness, for his writing and conversations on mental health. He was also featured among Positive.News ‘20 Mental Health Leaders Supporting The Nation’s Wellbeing’. His debut book is titled “Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging, and Connection.” Alex writes a weekly publication,Liminalities, interviewing writers and thinkers on mental health and life’s transitions, and exploring the human condition one sentence at a time. He is also the founder and creator of the leading podcast Time To Talk with Alex Holmes, highly commended by British GQ as a top podcast for 2020 and 2021.The two of us discuss his book, particularly what Alex’s refers to as the real man myths, including real men are fearless go-getters and real men have no worries about their bodies. Key Points: - Alex shares about his writing and podcast - Lack of focus on men’s issues - Men and mental health - The myth of the real man - The lone wolf - Male friendships - Masculinity and representation Relevant links: Alex’s website: alexholmes.co Alex’s podcast: https://pod.link/1437894589 Alex’s Instagram: @byalexholmes

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dee McDonald. Dee is a psychotherapist, relationship counsellor, sexual empowerment coach, researcher, and writer on non-monogamies and recreational sex. Her knowledge is drawn from a fusion of conventional and less established sources. She has long known and has proudly sought the practical experience of some of her sex worker friends in understanding some of the hidden depths of human sexuality. Dee has always viewed sex as a holistic experience and finds that the misperception of what sex is, and increasing dependence on genital sex is a common reason many people choose to visit a sex therapist. She understands sex as both Recreational and Relational. Having the potential to both provide the more commonly acceptable purposes of procreation and bonding whilst retaining the erotic elements usually associated with initial attraction. Sex as play seems to have been rather let down by the stresses and romantic requirements of modern society and Dee’s passion is in rekindling, where possible, the flames of desire. The two of us talk about non-monogamy, non-traditional relationships, polyamory, and swinging. We discuss Dee’s work with couples who are interested in polyamory and the ways she helps them navigate this. Key Points: - Dee shares about her work - Communication is key - Polyamory and consent - When one partner is interested in polyamory - Non-monogamous relationships - Jealousy and reassurance - Meeting your needs - Talking to your kids about your relationship - Swinging, stigma, and sex parties Relevant links: Dee’s website: www.crossriverwellbeing.com Dee’s InstagramI: @dee.mcdonald.59 Dee’s Twitter: wellbeingCR Dee’s Facebook: /desireemcdonald2021

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Grace Alice. Grace has been a Sex and Relationships Educator for 6 years, and is the author of 'Sex Educated'. She is from Kerry (Ireland), and originally trained as an Occupational Therapist before completing her Masters in Health Promotion, with a focus on sexual health and body image. She is super passionate about playing her part in creating a more sex-positive Ireland, free from shame, stigma and secrecy. Grace is training with the Somatica Institute to become a Sex and Relationships Coach. In 2022, she will be registering as the first Occupational Therpist in Ireland to specialise in sex, intimacy and relationships! The two of us talk about her experience with vaginismus as well as her work as a sex educator. We also discuss body shaming and masculinity and how these relate to teenagers. Key points: - Grace share about her life and work - Vaginismus and sex education - Talk therapy and bodywork - Sexuality in Ireland - Masculinity and teenage boys - “Gay chicken”: Homophobia and homoeroticism - The lack of nuance in male sexuality - Advertising sexuality work to men Relevant links: Grace’s website: gracealice.com Grace’s Instagram: @grace_alice_oshea Grace’s book: https://sexualhealthwest.ie/product/sex-educated-by-grace-alice-oshea/ Cam’s Patreon: www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Skye Stevenson. Skye is the founder and creative director of Evolved Lovers, Skye works with women and couples and is an approved Awakening Within Relationship & Sexuality Educator, Trauma informed, Internationally certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master with a Diploma in Swedish and Lomi Lomi massage. She has trained with the Wheel of Consent School and calls herself a student for life. Skye specialises in sexual trauma using a wide range of tools from talking sessions, body de-armouring, touch work including yoni massage healing. Skye is well known in teaching Shibari and tantric massage to couples in person and is known to re-awaken one's desire. The two of us talk about sexual exploration, resistance, dominance, boundaries, safety. I ask Skye for a woman’s perspective on these things. We also talk about Skye’s work with erotic bondage and Shibari. Key Points: - Skye shares some of her story - Curiosity and experimentation - Resistance to sexual exploration - Dominance and limiting beliefs - Asserting boundaries - Creating sexual safety for women - Erotic bondage - Pleasure and pain - Connecting with your partner through Shibari Relevant links: Skye’s website: https://evolvedlovers.com/ Skye’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evolved_lovers/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jan-Willem van der Heiden. Jan is a warrior coach. He was not a very confident kid. He had low self-esteem, no self-worth, struggled in school and had difficulty making connections with peers. After years of depression, his big brother took him to a boxing school where he met his mentor. Under the tutelage of Shifu Zhao, a 70-year old Chinese boxing and martial legend, Jan cultivated and reshaped himself to face all his fears. For the first time he was able to allow himself to feel the anger, shame and sadness from trauma that had been repressed for so long. It made Jan into the Warrior Coach he is today, coaching and mentoring over 50 men from all across the world. The two of us talk about Jan’s work with men and how he helps them overcome fear by facing it head on via the modality of boxing. We also speak about fear in general and how we can learn from our past. Jan shares about his own past as a professional gamer and what, if anything, he has learned from that. We also discuss finding a healthy mindset and balance with regards to our vices, such as video games and smoking. Key Points: - Jan introduces himself and his passions - Warrior coaching and fight club - The role of fear in our lives - Jan’s previous life as a professional gamer - Learning from our past - Finding balance with our vices - Having a healthy mindset Relevant links: Jan’s Instagram: @janwillemvanderh Jan’s website: https://www.thewarrior.coach/

Eleanor Hadley is a Sensuality Coach, Sex Educator & Sensual Movement Practitioner. Through 1:1 coaching, group programs, retreats, workshops and speaking, Eleanor is on a mission to help you embody your femininity, enhance your sex-life and elevate your relationships. Eleanor believes that sensuality is the missing key to cultivating deeper connection - with yourself, your body, your pleasure and with your loved ones. She has supported women around the world to finally channel their feminine essence to create super turned on lives of ease and flow. Her clients and students have fallen in love with their bodies once and for all, reclaimed their pleasure, unlocked orgasms, stepped in to their most confident selves and become super sensual. The Sensuality Academy Podcast is where Eleanor shares juicy gems from her own life, stories of clients' success along with tangible techniques to help you discover your sense of self-love, cultivate self-intimacy and boost your self-esteem. If you’re craving to feel more sensual and more connected - with your body, your sexuality and with your partner - this is the show for you. The two of us talk about tapping into your sensuality through embodied movement as well as how men can hold space for their partner to drop into their eroticism and how women can build confidence in their sensuality to demand that their partner hold space for them. Key Points: Eleanor shares about her work Yoga, femininity, and masculinity Balancing structure with fluidity Resistance to sensual expression Lap dancing for you, not them Sensuality vs Sexuality Externalizing self-worth Demanding that your partner holds space Advice for feeling more confident Relevant links: Eleanor’s Instagram: @eleanorhadley Eleanor’s website: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/ Cam’s Patreon: www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Andrew Eggelton. Andrew is the world's leading authority on Authentic Presenting. He's the creator and visionary behind 'The Eggelton Presenting Method™', a style of Presenting that re-invents the Speakers Experience, elevating it beyond the tropes of old school copy and paste to a deeper, more spiritual experience for both Presenter and Audience. Over 28 years of devotion to his craft of Presenting, from sleeping in the boot of his car so he could afford lessons, to perpetually touring the world running sold out events and retreats, he dared to dream that one day he could not only be World Class, but redefine what World Class looks like. Through a career of TV, Film and Speaking, working with people like Ryan Gosling, Michael J Fox, Peter Jackson and winning multiple TV awards, he devoted most of this career to discovering what 'Just Be You' actually means when Presenting and how to achieve pure authenticity. He transforms Speakers, aiding them to discover a balance of the Head, which is the technical, and the Heart Brain, which is the feeling. He takes them into a world where the space between the words is as potent as the words themselves and when they do speak, their words match the frequency of their Greatness, an audience, connecting, resonating, feeling the impact of each nuance. The two of us talk about what authenticity looks and feels like not only when presenting and speaking but also when it comes to masculinity and sexuality. Key points: - Andrew shares about his career - “Just be you” vs “fake it until you make it” - Tony Robbins and performance - Not changing state - Speaking in online spaces - Performing masculinity - Overcoming anxiety - Getting into and moving your body - Presence and acceptance - Communicating sexually Relevant links: Andrew’s website: https://www.andreweggelton.com/ Andrew’s Instagram: @andreweggelton Cam’s Patreon: www.patreon.com/thecamfraser

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with James Mattingley. James is a coach and facilitator with over a decade of leading groups, and guiding transformational experiences. He is based in Ubud Bali and works in three areas; helping couples reignite the passion they had in the beginning... but better. Guiding small groups of seekers to connect to their genius and superpowers. And leading men’s groups focused on stepping into courage and loving on each other through embodiment and boxing. The two of us talk about passion, love, sacredness, soul mates, sex, emotion, and fighting. Key points: - James introduces himself - Can we all follow our passions? - Cultivating intuition and trust - Determining your core value - Individual sacredness - Soul mates and love - Spontaneous vs planned sex - Masculinity and numbing emotion - Physical exhaustion and emotional expression Relevant links: James’ Instagram: @james.mattingley James’ website: https://www.jamesmattingley.com/ James’ Facebook: /mattingleyjames