Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jacob O’Neill. Jacob describes himself as a holder of visions, leader of heart-centered men, and absolutely hellbent on reactivating the grounded loving masculine within each man. He was a serial yes man & addicted to people-pleasing, on a mission to fit perfectly into the box society had so generously offered him. He contorted his SELF into the “model citizen” & settled in for a comfortable & safe life. But the universe had other plans, Jacob answered the call of his soul & followed what felt GOOD. Does his life look like he thought it would? NO, but it feels better than he ever could have imagined, because he is living his TRUTH. So now Jacob is committed to holding sacred space for men on the journey home to their TRUTH. The two of us talk about his personal experience of transformation and the catalysts which brought that about. We also speak about the practices he implements for becoming more aware of sensations in the body as well as the elements of pleasure, comfort and complacency. Key Points: Jacob introduces himself Routine: Double edged sword Catalysts for transformation The practice of stillness Find your own beat “If you can’t dance after the battle, then what are you fighting for?” Comfort vs complacency Relevant links: Jacob’s Instagram: @thejacoboneill Jacob’s website: https://www.jacobatoneill.com/

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Anthony Ragonese. Anthony is a writer and public speaker who explores the intersection of the erotic and esoteric. He specializes in topics including masturbation, self-love, body positivity, sacred sexuality, sex magic, and enthusiasm for penises, all of which are part of his spiritual philosophy called Autoerotic Phallicism. The two of us talk about his personal philosophy and his approach to self-pleasure. Anthony also shares advice for men who are interested in exploring their sexuality and spirituality. Key Points: Anthony introduces himself The intersection of sexuality and spirituality Phallicism and self-pleasure Fascinus: the divine phallus Practical sex magick Creating an altar Advice for exploration Relevant links: Anthony’s website: https://strokingthesoul.com Anthony’s Instagram: @StrokingtheSoul

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Euphemia Russell. Euphemia, (they/them) is a full spectrum pleasure coach and bestselling author of Slow Pleasure. Euphemia is trained and certified in somatic coaching, international coaching federation, sex-positive education, sexual violence counselling, trauma-informed facilitation, and has a background in Community Cultural Development. Their work, which aims to support people to flourish and feel pleasure, despite our collective crisis of pace and disconnection, has been featured in Elle, Cosmopolitan, Vice, Harper’s Bazaar, and multiple national radios and newspapers. They are particularly dedicated to resourcing and cherishing people who are distanced from their pleasure and bodies – usually because of holding minority identities and being socialised to be people-pleasing and appeasing, defaulting to others, overgiving, and/or playing small to be safe and liked. Euphemia is of Scottish descent, born a settler on unceded Kulin Nation lands (AKA Melbourne, Australia), and a migrant to Tongva land (AKA Los Angeles, California). They hold the identities and experiences of being white, queer non-binary, able-bodied, born middle-class, and a trauma survivor. ‘Slow Pleasure’ is both the name of Euphemia’s best-selling book and their theory of change. Euphemia believes that by accessing the full spectrum of pleasure, drip by drip and microdose by microdose, readers and clients can feel their own aliveness and reestablish a nourishing connection to self, others, and the land. They see pleasure and somatics as a journey of creating moments to pause, listen and remember, rather than ‘fix’ or accumulate knowledge. Key Points Euphemia introduces themself The crisis of pace and being in the moment Microdosing pleasure and hustle culture Pleasure for the sake of pleasure Self-care vs Aftercare Post-ejaculatory vulnerability Digital boundaries Savoring the pleasure of using technology Pleasure and other emotions Relevant links: Euphemia’s Instagram: www.instagram/com/euphemia.russell Euphemia’s website: https://euphemiarussell.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Leah Carey. Leah is a Sex and Intimacy coach and host of the podcast “Good Girls Talk About Sex.” She works with people eager to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires, like: diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, having first-time queer experiences, investigating consensual non-monogamy, or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. The two of us talk about the harmful messages we tell our kids and how we can undo the social conditioning that limits our ability to express ourselves and explore our sexuality. Key Points: Leah introduces herself What does sexual repression look like? Harmful messages we tell our kids The “Don’t Say Gay” Bill Comprehensive Sex Education Undoing social conditioning Teaching consent to kids Relevant links: Leah’s website: www.leahcarey.com Leah’s Instagram: @GoodGirlsTalk

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Kabelo Chabalala. Kabelo is the author of “A journey from boyhood to manhood.” He is the founder of and senior mentor at the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men in our society across the globe. He is a columnist for the Sowetan, and his column appears twice a month in the paper on Fridays. He was the Community Builder Awardee of the year in 2019 for the Marcia Lebambo Foundation. He was 1 of 200 Obama Leaders: Africa 2018 and a Finland Correspondent Participant 2018. Kabelo is a former PR Specialist for Lingashoni and Mzansi Magic, and a former Columnist for the The Citizen newspaper. Kabelo describes himself as a feminist at heart and as an advocate for equality as well as for the well-being of the boy-child. He is also a preacher, having obtained a Theology certificate from the Johannesburg Bible College. The toy us talk about his work as a mentor with teenage boys and how he is helping them to shift their perspectives about masculinity. We discuss how absent fathers impact these boys and how Kabelo helps them take responsibility for their sexuality. Key Points: Kabelo introduces himself Unresolved anger Stereotypical gender roles in rural South Africa Shifting ideas of masculinity Fatherlessness Responsibility and sexuality Becoming a husband Relevant links: Kabelo’s Instagram: @kb_the_village_boy Kabelo’s website: https://villageboyvoice.wordpress.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Carla Crivaro. Carla is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach. She works with men who experience sexual dysfunction and a lack of sexual desire after being present for the birth of their child. She also works with men who miss intimacy with their partner and feel disconnected from them since becoming a father. The two of us talk about what Carla has dubbed ‘The Forgotten Father’ phenomenon. We discuss the ways in which men struggle with fatherhood and how their childhood wounding can impact their relationships. Key Points: Carla introduces herself What does it mean to be trauma-informed? The Forgotten Father phenomenon Releasing trauma from the body Men’s changes in desire Testosterone and fatherhood Inner child and parenting responses Response 1: Overcompensation Response 2: Withdrawal Response 3: Passive Aggression Relevant links: Carla’s website: https://www.carlacrivaro.com/ Carla’s Instagram: @the.sexuality.sanctuary

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Rachel Overvoll. Rachel is a Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach and author, living in Colorado. She works with clients to move beyond shame, step into safety in their bodies, and to live a life embodied in pleasure. Using her credentials from the Somatica Institute and Kinsey Institute, she works through the mediums of embodiment and self attunement to help clients step outside of shame and into the power of their authentic selves. The two of us talk about Rachel’s experience leaving a religious cult and how she overcame her sexual shame. We also discuss her work, particularly as a practitioner of the Somatica method, and how we can be more in our body when experiencing sexuality and pleasure. Key Points: Rachel introduces herself Leaving a religious cult Unpacking “purity culture” Physical manifestation of sexual shame What is the Somatic method? Men’s intimacy needs Practical advice for being in your body Relevant links: Rachel’s website: www.rachelovervoll.com Rachel’s Instagram: @rachelovervoll

Evelyn Sparks (she/her) is a certified sex coach who works to help people heal their sexual trauma and step into their most liberated sexual and emotional expression. She emphasizes bringing aspects of sacred sexuality teachings into the mainstream and curating an inclusive and approachable environment. The two of us talk about how trauma can create numbness in the body as well as how to work through this by reconnecting to the physical sensations of emotion. Evelyn shares about some of the ways we tend to avoid feeling emotions and we discuss how men can healthily tap into and express anger. We end with a conversation about kink and how BDSM containers can help with both emotional expression and regulation. Key points: Evelyn introduces herself Numbness after trauma Reframing your relationship with your body Learning to check in with yourself Avoiding emotions Creating containers to express emotions Men and anger Kink and catharsis Relevant links: Evelyn’s Instagram: @theevelynsparks Evelyn’s website: www.evelynsparks.com

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Emily Gough. Emily is a human connection coach, writer, speaker and host/founder of the respected top 200 Room to Grow™ Podcast. Fuelled by insatiable curiosity for the nuance and complexities of relationships and the human experience, she takes a holistic mind/body approach using the psychology and physiology of emotions to give you the guidance, real-life tools and perspective you need to take ownership of your life, revolutionize your relationship to yourself, and create thriving connections with others. An old soul, Emily’s style of both teaching and coaching combines powerful insights and wisdom with a playful attitude and sense of humour. With features in well-known publications like Forbes and interviews on dozens of podcasts, Emily is sought after for her compassionate, direct and genuine approach. The two of us talk about interpersonal communication and how a lack of compassion is hindering our capacity for connection with the people in our lives. Emily also shares ways in which we can cultivate courage within relationships so as to help our partner and ourselves feel safe enough to be vulnerable and authentically open up. Key points: Emily introduces herself Communication and compassion Giving people space to share Embodying compassion “The story I’m telling myself right now is…” Feeling emotions as physical sensations Courage, safety, and vulnerability Comparison and authenticity Relevant links: Emily’s Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Emily’s website: www.emilygoughcoaching.com

On this week’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jessica Harvey. Jessica is a certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach with Layla Martin’s VITA coaching. She is professionally-certified with the ICF at the PCC level, and is a student of Process-Oriented Psychology with David Bedrick. Her trauma-informed coaching is also inspired by her devotion to classical tantrik meditation and non-dual philosophy under Paul Muller-Ortega and Christopher Wallis. Jessica spent 10 years in a successful career as a Ph.D. chemist before leaving it all to go say ‘yes’ to what scared her. She spent 4 years in full-time study and practice of neo-tantric sexuality, shadow work, and kundalini in a tantric community in Asia. Now she likes to say that she studies a different kind of ‘chemistry,’ and people often call her the ‘tantric scientist.’ Since launching her Bliss Science coaching business, she has worked with hundreds of men - CEOs and leaders in tech, finance, and consulting - to rekindle passion in sexless marriages, recover confidence post-divorce, heal from performance anxiety, communicate in ways that women love, and develop a tantric mentality to life. Her offerings include: her proprietary Love, Sex, and Confidence course for Men, her new Sex Mastermind for Men, in-person VIP days, and custom-tailored 1:1 online coaching for all genders. The two of us talk about the ways in which men can open up more to their sexuality and take their sexual experiences to a deeper level. Hint: It requires getting in touch with your emotions. Key Points: Jessica introduces herself Going a journey of sexual self-discovery Men opening up about sex How to talk to your partner about sex Taking sex deeper with emotions Creating sexual safety for women Practical advice for men Relevant links: Jessica’s Instagram: @bliss.science Jessica’s Website: https://www.bliss-science.com/