Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Carla Crivaro. Carla is a trauma-informed and certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach. She works with men who experience sexual dysfunction and a lack of sexual desire after being present for the birth of their child. She also works with men who miss intimacy with their partner and feel disconnected from them since becoming a father. The two of us talk about what Carla has dubbed ‘The Forgotten Father’ phenomenon. We discuss the ways in which men struggle with fatherhood and how their childhood wounding can impact their relationships. Key Points: Carla introduces herself What does it mean to be trauma-informed? The Forgotten Father phenomenon Releasing trauma from the body Men’s changes in desire Testosterone and fatherhood Inner child and parenting responses Response 1: Overcompensation Response 2: Withdrawal Response 3: Passive Aggression Relevant links: Carla’s website: https://www.carlacrivaro.com/ Carla’s Instagram: @the.sexuality.sanctuary

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Rachel Overvoll. Rachel is a Somatic Sex and Intimacy Coach and author, living in Colorado. She works with clients to move beyond shame, step into safety in their bodies, and to live a life embodied in pleasure. Using her credentials from the Somatica Institute and Kinsey Institute, she works through the mediums of embodiment and self attunement to help clients step outside of shame and into the power of their authentic selves. The two of us talk about Rachel’s experience leaving a religious cult and how she overcame her sexual shame. We also discuss her work, particularly as a practitioner of the Somatica method, and how we can be more in our body when experiencing sexuality and pleasure. Key Points: Rachel introduces herself Leaving a religious cult Unpacking “purity culture” Physical manifestation of sexual shame What is the Somatic method? Men’s intimacy needs Practical advice for being in your body Relevant links: Rachel’s website: www.rachelovervoll.com Rachel’s Instagram: @rachelovervoll

Evelyn Sparks (she/her) is a certified sex coach who works to help people heal their sexual trauma and step into their most liberated sexual and emotional expression. She emphasizes bringing aspects of sacred sexuality teachings into the mainstream and curating an inclusive and approachable environment. The two of us talk about how trauma can create numbness in the body as well as how to work through this by reconnecting to the physical sensations of emotion. Evelyn shares about some of the ways we tend to avoid feeling emotions and we discuss how men can healthily tap into and express anger. We end with a conversation about kink and how BDSM containers can help with both emotional expression and regulation. Key points: Evelyn introduces herself Numbness after trauma Reframing your relationship with your body Learning to check in with yourself Avoiding emotions Creating containers to express emotions Men and anger Kink and catharsis Relevant links: Evelyn’s Instagram: @theevelynsparks Evelyn’s website: www.evelynsparks.com

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Emily Gough. Emily is a human connection coach, writer, speaker and host/founder of the respected top 200 Room to Grow™ Podcast. Fuelled by insatiable curiosity for the nuance and complexities of relationships and the human experience, she takes a holistic mind/body approach using the psychology and physiology of emotions to give you the guidance, real-life tools and perspective you need to take ownership of your life, revolutionize your relationship to yourself, and create thriving connections with others. An old soul, Emily’s style of both teaching and coaching combines powerful insights and wisdom with a playful attitude and sense of humour. With features in well-known publications like Forbes and interviews on dozens of podcasts, Emily is sought after for her compassionate, direct and genuine approach. The two of us talk about interpersonal communication and how a lack of compassion is hindering our capacity for connection with the people in our lives. Emily also shares ways in which we can cultivate courage within relationships so as to help our partner and ourselves feel safe enough to be vulnerable and authentically open up. Key points: Emily introduces herself Communication and compassion Giving people space to share Embodying compassion “The story I’m telling myself right now is…” Feeling emotions as physical sensations Courage, safety, and vulnerability Comparison and authenticity Relevant links: Emily’s Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Emily’s website: www.emilygoughcoaching.com

On this week’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jessica Harvey. Jessica is a certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach with Layla Martin’s VITA coaching. She is professionally-certified with the ICF at the PCC level, and is a student of Process-Oriented Psychology with David Bedrick. Her trauma-informed coaching is also inspired by her devotion to classical tantrik meditation and non-dual philosophy under Paul Muller-Ortega and Christopher Wallis. Jessica spent 10 years in a successful career as a Ph.D. chemist before leaving it all to go say ‘yes’ to what scared her. She spent 4 years in full-time study and practice of neo-tantric sexuality, shadow work, and kundalini in a tantric community in Asia. Now she likes to say that she studies a different kind of ‘chemistry,’ and people often call her the ‘tantric scientist.’ Since launching her Bliss Science coaching business, she has worked with hundreds of men - CEOs and leaders in tech, finance, and consulting - to rekindle passion in sexless marriages, recover confidence post-divorce, heal from performance anxiety, communicate in ways that women love, and develop a tantric mentality to life. Her offerings include: her proprietary Love, Sex, and Confidence course for Men, her new Sex Mastermind for Men, in-person VIP days, and custom-tailored 1:1 online coaching for all genders. The two of us talk about the ways in which men can open up more to their sexuality and take their sexual experiences to a deeper level. Hint: It requires getting in touch with your emotions. Key Points: Jessica introduces herself Going a journey of sexual self-discovery Men opening up about sex How to talk to your partner about sex Taking sex deeper with emotions Creating sexual safety for women Practical advice for men Relevant links: Jessica’s Instagram: @bliss.science Jessica’s Website: https://www.bliss-science.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Samantha Zipporah returns to chat with. Samantha is a fertility, sex, & cycle educator, author, & activist with over 20 years of experience. She is devoted to breaking the spells of oppression in reproductive & sexual health through collective healing, liberation, & education. A former birth doula, she provides radical love for navigating the womb continuum & reclaiming ancestral wisdom. Sam’s unique praxis weaves a balance of scientific data & spiritual presence to offer knowledge & embodied wisdom for claiming inner authority, pleasure, & power in fertility, sex, & cycles. Sam provides vital education for everyone from professionals to preteens and inspires individuals to claim their power through body literacy & sovereignty. The two of us pick up where we left off from our previous conversation and talk about the parallels between ejaculation and ovulation, and how men can take responsibility for their ejaculation by learning about the energetics of ejaculation and practicing what I call conscious ejaculation. Key points: Samantha reintroduces herself How do we reach men? Unexpected pregnancies in the Tantra community Conscious ejaculation/ovulation Fertility awareness and pleasure Presence and consent The energetics of ejaculation Connecting with ancient wisdom Relevant links: Samantha’s website: www.samanthazipporah.com Samantha’s Facebook: facebook.com/samanthazipporah Samantha’s Instagram: @samanthazipporah

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Freya Graf. Freya is a Yoni Mapping Therapist and Holistic Sex Coach & Educator. She has a background of study in Kahuna massage, yoni massage, facilitation, childcare, yoga teaching, tantric bodywork and sacred sexuality. Freya shares on her website that she was crippled by shame, guilt, and self-consciousness around her body, pleasure, and desire so she went on a journey to tackle this whole sex thing once and for all, which completely transformed her relationship to sex and her body. She says she is now deeply passionate about helping others do the same. The two of us talk specifically about her work as a Yoni Mapping therapist. Key points: Freya introduces herself What is Yoni Mapping? “Yoni” and cultural appropriation The healing power of Yoni Mapping Connecting with the genitals Tips for people who have a vulva Tips for people who like to play with vulvas Relevant links: Freya’s website: https://www.freyagraf.com/ Freya’s instagram: @freya_graf_ymt

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Silva Neves. Silva is a Psychotherapist specializing in Psychosexual & Relationship Psychotherapy, Sexual abuse, and Compulsive sexual behaviours. His model of psychotherapy is integrative and humanistic, which means that he uses different approaches from different therapeutic models to suit his client’s needs best. Silva integrates psychotherapeutic modalities, such as Gestalt, Psychodynamic, CBT, ACT, and Transactional Analysis with specific psycho-sexological knowledge and diverse relationships. The two of us talk about his new book, “Compulsive Sexual Behaviours: A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians.” We discuss the difference between the addiction and compulsion models of problematic sexual behaviour as well as the recommended approach for working with clients who struggle with watching porn. Key points: Silva introduces himself Acknowledging the problem with porn The difference between “addiction” and “compulsion” Language is important Subjectivity and personal values Shame and the problem with avoiding triggers “Becoming erotically aware, not erotically avoidant” Black-and-white thinking: Anti-porn vs Pro-porn Relevant links: Silva’s Instagram: @silvanevespsychotherapy Silva’s Website: ​​https://www.silvaneves.co.uk/

#115 Working with Men Who Use Domestic Violence (with Callan Craig) On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Callan Craig. Callan has a background in psychology and has been working in the industry specialising in healthy relationships, non violent communication and healthy masculinity. Currently working with men who use domestic and family violence facilitating programs to support them in their behavioural change process. The two of us talk about the factors contributing to situations where men use domestic violence as well as what the process of behavioural change looks like for them. Key Points: Callan introduces himself Callan shares about his work What kind of men use domestic violence? Motivations for changing behaviour Masculinity and violence The “golden thread” of violence, coercion, and abuse The process of behavioural change Resistance and vulnerability Relevant links: Callan’s Instagram: @callanncraig

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with acupuncturist, herbalist, and author Christine DeLozier. Christine specializes in sexual health and works with men, women, and patients of all gender orientation. Her book, DIET FOR GREAT SEX: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health, dives deep into the true catalysts of what makes our bodies fire on all cylinders and the best steps to maintain them through diet for as long as possible. The book introduces readers to several modalities of success including how to eat for clearer heads with stronger focus and connection, how to increase pleasure through blood flow and connected nerve pathways, meals for optimal body performance, a menu for after dinner activities to help stimulate the right places, and more. Christine says that DIET FOR GREAT SEX is for everyone who wants to have the best sex possible, through the most natural means possible, for as long as possible. It also covers common topics of concern such as erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, and reduced libido, to name just a few. The two of us talk about Christine’s book and some of the information she presents in there. Key Points: Christine introduces herself Acupuncture and the nervous system Christine talks about her book Food for improving erectile function Food for improving libido Food for improving testosterone More diet advice Relevant links: Christine’s Website: https://christinedelozier.com/ Christine’s Instagram: @dietforgreatsex