Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

Key Points:Mish's background and book Mish introduces himself as a 60-something man who has shifted his health work from a focus on cancer to a broader focus on men's health and wellness. He has recently written a book about embracing and finding pleasure in a "soft " rather than fixating on erections.The need for a new perspective on maleMish explains that he was motivated to write the book because he realized there was a lack of resources and information available about enjoying intimacy and pleasure without a hard erection. Most existing resources focus on "fixing" erectile dysfunction rather than exploring alternative paths to fulfillment.The emotional and psychological journey Mish discusses the emotional and psychological challenges men face when their bodies don't perform as expected, including feelings of loss, shame, and withdrawal. He emphasizes the importance of grieving these changes and redefining one's relationship to pleasure and masculinity.Exploring the body and sensationsMish and Cam discuss practical strategies for exploring the body and sensations beyond just the genitals, including mapping pleasure across the body, slowing down, and being present to subtle energetic shifts and reverberations.Redefining intimacy and "completion" Mish shares insights on how he and his partner have redefined the end of intimacy, moving away from a focus on as the "finish line." They emphasize communication, presence, and exploring energetic connections as ways to find fulfillment and closure without relying on a hard erection.Closing thoughts and book availability Mish provides an overview of the book's title and content, and shares information on where readers can purchase the book, both online and through select brick-and-mortar retailers.Relevant Links:Mish’s Twitter: @RecoveringMan1Mish’s website: www.recoveringman.net

Key points:Toby's background and journey to coachingToby shares his background, including being an open intersex person, his diagnosis with Kleinfelter's syndrome, and his transition into the coaching and counseling space. He discusses how his own self-discovery and openness about his identity led him to want to support others in similar ways.Toby's philosophy on self-love and whole-person approachToby explains his holistic, "whole person" approach to coaching, emphasizing the importance of self-love, self-acceptance, and changing one's internal narrative as the foundation for growth and fulfillment. He uses the analogy of a pilot light to describe the importance of cultivating an intrinsic sense of self-love.Societal barriers to self-love and the impact on menToby and Cam discuss how Western capitalist society often encourages external validation and a lack of self-love, and how this can manifest in unhealthy behaviors, particularly for men. They explore the changing cultural narratives around masculinity and the need for men to embrace vulnerability and emotional intelligence.Practical steps for cultivating self-loveToby outlines specific practices he uses with clients to help them become aware of negative thought patterns, decouple their identity from those thoughts, and replace them with positive affirmations. He emphasizes the importance of daily practice and support during this process.The relationship between self-love and the bodyToby and Cam discuss the connection between self-love and body acceptance, noting how the relationship with one's physical self is a reflection of the internal landscape. They explore how self-love practices can help individuals develop a more positive, pleasure-focused relationship with their bodies.Recap and next stepsToby summarizes the key points of their discussion, emphasizing that self-love is the foundation that allows other self-care and self-loving activities to be truly nourishing and impactful. He expresses excitement about continuing his coaching work and supporting more people in reaching their potential.Relevant links: https://whole-person-relationships.com/

Key points:Victoria's background and passionVictoria Cullen runs an online resource called "A Touchy Subject" that helps men who have had prostate cancer treatment to thrive. She is passionate about supporting men's mental health and wellbeing, as the suicide rate for men with prostate cancer is 70% higher than the general male population.Challenges men face after prostate cancer treatmentMen often struggle with the side effects of prostate cancer treatment, such as incontinence, erectile dysfunction, and penile shortening. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and a sense of their quality of life being permanently diminished, which negatively impacts their mental health.Limitations of a narrow medical approachThe medical approach to treating erectile dysfunction often focuses narrowly on prescribing medications like , without considering the psychological, emotional, and relational aspects of male . This can leave men feeling broken and unsupported.Educating and empowering menVictoria's approach involves a comprehensive rehabilitation program that starts with education, then explores a variety of strategies and tools, such as vacuum devices, pelvic floor exercises, and pleasure-focused techniques. The goal is to help men regain a sense of agency and control over their health.Incorporating partners and eroticizing the processVictoria encourages men to involve their partners in the rehabilitation process, and to find ways to eroticize the use of devices and tools. This helps reduce shame and reframe the experience as an opportunity for playful discovery and intimacy.Recap and resourcesVictoria summarizes the key points of the discussion and encourages listeners to reach out to her if they have any questions or need support. She also mentions some additional resources, such as expert webinars and a private membership community.Relevant links:Victoria's website: https://atouchysubject.com/

Key points:Aasha's background and passionsAasha introduced herself as a certified emotional intelligence expert, shamanic practitioner, hypnotherapist, and CEO of a tech startup. She is passionate about helping people ignite their souls and authenticity, and stop hiding who they are. Aasha shared her personal journey of overcoming health challenges and trauma to find self-acceptance and empowerment.Emotional resilience and leadershipAasha discussed her approach to emotional resilience, emphasizing the importance of feeling emotions deeply without abandoning one's post as a leader. She shared insights from losing her home in the Pacific Palisades fire, and how it taught her the difference between "strong" and "resilient" leadership. Aasha believes resilience involves empathy, self-empathy, and transmuting emotions into personal power.Privilege, shame, and receivingCam and Aasha explored the nuances of emotional resilience and how access to resources and support can impact one's ability to process grief and loss. They discussed the tendency for people, especially those with privilege, to feel guilty or ashamed for struggling emotionally. Aasha and Cam agreed that the ability to receive - whether feedback, love, or pleasure - is a universal challenge that both men and women face.Feminine leadership and embodimentAasha described her experience of embodying a more feminine style of leadership after losing her home a second time. This involved being more authentic, vulnerable, and empathetic in her approach, while still maintaining a strong sense of purpose and authority. Aasha believes this blend of feminine and masculine energy is essential for effective and resilient leadership.Closing thoughts and resourcesAasha shared information about how to connect with her on social media and access her work, which focuses on topics like feminine embodiment, emotional intelligence, and self-worth. She emphasized the importance of embracing one's authentic expression and magnetizing what one desires, while also having fun and not hiding.Relevant links:Aasha's website: https://beyondeqinternational.com/

Key Points:Johnny Cole's background and passion for men's work Johnny Cole shares his personal story and explains how his father's traumatic military experiences and rigid views on masculinity deeply impacted his own upbringing and understanding of manhood. This led him to discover the field of men's work and start his organization Hey Brother Co. to help men and boys unlearn harmful patriarchal messaging and redefine masculinity on their own terms.The power of vulnerability and emotional leadershipCam shares his own experiences with rigid masculinity norms growing up, and how he has seen the transformative impact of adult men modeling vulnerability and emotional openness, especially in working with young people. Johnny emphasizes the importance of men being brave enough to have uncomfortable but necessary conversations to drive positive change.Deconstructing the "man box" and challenging gender norms Johnny and Cam discuss the concept of the "man box" - the rigid societal expectations and pressures around masculinity that stifle boys and men. They share examples of how they've seen young people have powerful realizations about how these norms have impacted them and their relationships.The role of sports and media in shaping masculinity Cam notes how sports have often provided a socially acceptable outlet for young men to express intimacy and emotion. They also discuss how media portrayals of relationships and can give young people skewed and unhealthy messages about masculinity and intimacy.The importance of platonic male intimacy and affection Johnny emphasizes the devastating impact of boys being discouraged from physical affection and emotional vulnerability from a young age. He argues this leads many men to conflate all intimacy with , contributing to issues like erectile dysfunction and unhealthy relationships.Embracing boyhood and avoiding the rush to manhood Johnny passionately argues against the tendency to vilify boyhood and pressure boys to rapidly transition into a rigid, prescriptive version of manhood. He believes this contributes to many social issues, and advocates for allowing boys to simply be boys without shame or judgment.Relevant Links:Johnny Cole's website: https://www.heybrotherco.com/

Key Points:Exploring identity and authenticity Ann and Cam discuss the importance of understanding and embracing one's authentic identity, whether related to gender, , spirituality, or other aspects of the self. They emphasize the need to move beyond prescriptive societal norms and labels, and instead focus on self-discovery and self-acceptance.Unpacking religious trauma and shameAnn explains her work helping clients who have experienced religious trauma, particularly from high-control religious groups. She discusses how this can lead to anxiety, depression, and shame around and relationships. Cam shares his own experiences with Buddhist monasticism and the control and shame he witnessed.Navigating masculinity and gender expression Cam and Ann explore the complexities of masculinity, including societal pressures and expectations. They discuss the importance of allowing men to define masculinity for themselves, rather than prescribing a singular version. They also address the stigma and fear around exploring different aspects of gender and .Challenging assumptions and biases Ann and Cam emphasize the need to examine one's own assumptions and biases, particularly around identity, , and spirituality. They encourage listeners to approach these topics with curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to learn and grow, rather than judgment or defensiveness.Closing and resources Ann provides information about her therapy practice and upcoming book, and invites listeners to reach out if they would like to continue the conversation. Cam and Ann emphasize the importance of seeking support from professionals who specialize in these areas.Relevant links: Ann Russo's website: https://www.amrtherapy.com/about-us/#about-us

Key Points:Introductions and PassionsCam asks Justin to introduce himself, share what he does, and discuss his passions. Justin describes his journey of shedding societal programming to embrace radical authenticity, including his work as a certified nutritional therapist and influencer. He is passionate about human biology, communication, healing trauma through intimacy, and exploring the limits of human potential.Letting Go of Societal Narratives Justin shares how he had to let go of the societal narrative that being an exceptional musician would lead to love and validation. He describes his 15-year music career, which left him feeling empty and disconnected, leading him to seek therapy and unpack his lack of true intimacy.Reclaiming Authentic Self After leaving the music industry, Justin embarked on a journey of self-discovery to figure out who he truly is beyond the performer persona. This involved stripping away external validation and reconnecting with his passions like martial arts and fitness, but without the need to prove himself.Emotional Expression and Vulnerability Justin discusses his current approach to music and martial arts, focusing on doing them for the joy and experience rather than external validation. He emphasizes the importance of being able to express emotions without judgment or the need to perform.Masculine vs. Feminine Energy Cam and Justin explore the concepts of "king" and "prince" energy, with the king being secure in himself and able to vulnerably express emotions, while the prince seeks external validation. They discuss strategies for men to lean into emotional expression and self-care.Navigating Conflict and RelationshipsJustin and Cam discuss how even those in a "king" state can still slip back into "prince" behaviors, especially during times of stress. They emphasize the importance of quick apologies, taking responsibility, and creating safety and unconditional love in relationships.Unconditional Love vs. Commitment Justin emphasizes that unconditional love does not mean unconditional commitment. He advises that people should be willing to walk away from relationships that are not safe or serving them, while still holding love and compassion for those individuals.Relevant Links:IG: https://www.instagram.com/justinnaultofficial

Key Points:Introductions and backgroundLaura introduces herself as a psychologist and sexologist who works at the intersection of mental health and relationships. She shares her passion for art, the outdoors, and living near the ocean. Cam and Laura also discuss their astrological signs and the esoteric symbolism of water.The importance of communication in relationshipsCam and Laura discuss the importance of communication in relationships, especially when it comes to topics like desire and satisfaction. They note that while communication is often cited as important, people often struggle with how to actually have those conversations.Defining and distinguishing communicationLaura explains that communication refers to the verbal and non-verbal ways partners communicate about their preferences, desires, fantasies, and limits. She distinguishes this from general relationship communication, noting that communication is often seen as a "black spot" that is avoided or not handled well.The challenges and risks of communication Laura discusses why communication is particularly high-stakes and fraught for many people. Factors include the potential for rejection, shame, and vulnerability, as well as a lack of skills and comfort with the topic.Strategies for effective communicationCam and Laura explore ways to make communication more approachable, such as having smaller, more casual conversations rather than big "sit-down" talks. They also emphasize the importance of focusing on feelings and experiences rather than just acts.The role of non-verbal communicationLaura and Cam discuss the many ways non-verbal cues like body language, tone of voice, and physical touch can communicate desire, consent, and interest. They highlight the value of observing these cues both in and out of the bedroom.Using third-party tools to facilitate communicationCam and Laura share ideas for using activities, games, and other resources as a "third party" to help initiate and guide communication in a more playful, low-stakes way. This can help build curiosity and connection.Recap and key takeawaysIn closing, Laura emphasizes that effective communication has a protective function, helping maintain desire and satisfaction in a relationship. She encourages listeners to embrace the awkwardness and invest in developing these communication skills.Relevant links:Laura Lee's Website: www.lauralee.com.au

Key Points:George's background and servicesGeorge introduces himself as a 52-year-old male escort who provides a "sensual and caring" connection for women, often those who have not had intimacy for a long time. He explains that his services go beyond just physical intimacy, and that he aims to provide tenderness, affection, and a safe space for his clients.Addressing the loneliness epidemic Cam notes that George's services seem to address a significant need, as many women experience loneliness, especially those living alone. George agrees, stating that his clients often crave basic human touch and connection that they are missing in their daily lives.Debunking misconceptions about escort workCam acknowledges that there are many misconceptions about what escort work entails, with the assumption that it is purely transactional. George emphasizes that for him, the emotional and companionship aspects are far more important than the physical, and that he aims to provide a truly caring and nurturing experience for his clients.Navigating boundaries and authenticityGeorge discusses how he maintains boundaries and authenticity in his work, noting that while he uses a pseudonym, he is largely the same person in his personal life as he is with clients. He explains the importance of understanding each client's needs and desires in order to provide the best possible experience.Destigmatizing women seeking male escort services George believes that the key to destigmatizing women seeking male escort services is for women to feel empowered to acknowledge and embrace their desires, without shame or judgment. He advocates for more open and honest conversations around intimacy and human connection.Closing thoughts on kindness and curiosityIn closing, George emphasizes the importance of being kind, curious, and attentive in relationships, both personal and professional. He believes that these qualities are the foundation for meaningful connections and fulfilling experiences.Relevant linksGeorge Goulburn's Website:https://www.georgegoulburn.com/

Key Points:Dr. Frankie's background and passionDr. Frankie introduced herself as a clinical psychologist, board-certified therapist, and the CEO and founder of Little Gay Book and Little Black Book matchmaking services. She shared that her passion is helping people have healthier, happier relationships with themselves and others, and being a conduit to bring people together.Challenges with dating appsDr. Frankie discussed common themes she sees with her clients using dating apps, including feeling stuck in a "hamster wheel" of swiping without making real connections, misrepresenting themselves to appear a certain way, and experiencing disappointment when dates don't match their online profiles. She emphasized the importance of authenticity and setting boundaries when using dating apps.Navigating dating app dynamicsDr. Frankie and Cam discussed strategies for using dating apps more effectively, such as setting time limits, doing video calls before in-person dates, and moving quickly to meet up rather than prolonging messaging. They also explored the psychology behind the addictive nature of dating apps and the need to be mindful of how they are designed to keep users engaged.Advice for in-person datingCam and Dr. Frankie provided advice for meeting people in person, including the benefits of doing activities you already enjoy, giving thoughtful compliments, and having an "exit strategy" to gracefully end conversations. They also discussed navigating the transition from a romantic connection to a platonic friendship.Recap and closing thoughtsDr. Frankie expressed appreciation for Cam's work and the practical, real-life dating advice they discussed. She encouraged people to get out there and make in-person connections, despite any fears or self-consciousness, as most people are hungry for that type of human interaction.Relevant links:Dr. Frankie's website: https://www.littleblackbookmatchmaking.com