#262 Beyond Performance: Curiosity, Responsibility, and Male Intimacy (with Rob Kancler)

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Rob Kancler, men’s coach and facilitator drawing on Tantra, Taoism, and somatic practices about the developmental journey of male sexuality and intimacy. Rob shares how early experiences of isolation and confusion shape men’s long-term challenges with self-esteem, connection, and performance. We explore the role of the nervous system in intimacy, unpacking how fear-based responses like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn often disrupt presence and pleasure. Rob and I discuss reframing masculinity and responsibility in relationships, shifting away from rigid scripts toward curiosity, creativity, and authentic communication. A rich conversation on cultivating embodied intimacy, regulating the nervous system, and redefining what it means to lead with presence in sex and relationships.

Key Points:

@1:19 The development of male and intimacy

@4:29 Nervous system awareness and fear-based responses

@17:34 Reframing masculinity and responsibility in intimacy

@1:14:21 Closing reflections and resources