That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, we're revisiting this episode with the wonderful Jo Cooke from Hoarding Disorders UK about chronic disorganisation, what it has in common with hoarding, and how it differs. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-139-chronic-disorganisation-with-jo-cooke-of-hoarding-disorders-uk/     

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Why is it so hard to deal with uncertainty, and what does that have to do with hoarding? This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our brains handle ambiguity, why fear of making mistakes can keep us stuck, and how intolerance of uncertainty feeds into hoarding behaviours. We break down practical ways to build up your tolerance for not knowing and share some strategies that might actually make a difference. Uncertainty and Its Challenges Definition and context of uncertainty Evolutionary reasons for discomfort with uncertainty (Selfish Brain Theory) Contrast between historical resource scarcity and modern abundance Our minds’ outdated ways of managing uncertainty Cognitive Closure What is cognitive closure? Difference between cognitive closure (psychological need for definite answers) and “closure” in pop culture (emotional resolution) How it relates to need for certainty in present/future, not just past events The creation of cognitive closure measurement scales by researchers Factors influencing need for cognitive closure: Personality traits: Conscientiousness, neuroticism (now called emotionality), openness to experience, extroversion Trauma history and its effects on the nervous system Neurodivergence (with emphasis on autism and “sticky thinking”) Combination of personality, trauma, and neurodivergence Intolerance of Uncertainty Psychological definition of intolerance of uncertainty Negative cognitive bias: How it affects perception and response Manifestations in people experiencing uncertainty as distress Its direct relevance to hoarding behaviours The Link Between Hoarding Disorder and Intolerance of Uncertainty Research findings: intolerance of uncertainty as a predictor of hoarding symptom severity Usefulness in early intervention strategies intolerance of uncertainty as a transdiagnostic factor (across anxiety, some depression, and other mental health conditions) How heightened anxiety sensitivity in hoarding perpetuates avoidance Experiential avoidance in hoarding (saving and acquiring behaviours) Connection between maladaptive behaviours and intolerance of uncertainty Fear of Making Mistakes and Perfectionism Common fears of mistakes in hoarding (disposing, acquiring, putting things away) Perfectionism’s role (fear of failure, not wasting) All-or-nothing thinking and rigid decision-making rules Paralysing effect of avoidance due to fear of mistakes Not making a decision as a potential mistake itself Interaction and reinforcement between perfectionism and intolerance of uncertainty Comorbidity and Severity Research on multiple diagnoses: More than half of psychiatric patients have more than one diagnosis Diagnostic challenges and overlapping criteria How comorbidity compounds issues: More symptoms and more complexity Higher intolerance of uncertainty linked with more severe hoarding, especially when other conditions are present Impact on treatment difficulty intolerance of uncertainty’s Impact on Acquiring and Discarding Behaviours How acquiring reduces fear of missing out and future needs Difficulty discarding as protection against future regret Shame around mistake-making Common inner questions: Future use, responsibility, relationships More complexity leading to more avoidance Nuances in intolerance of uncertainty and Hoarding Study on sub-factors of uncertainty: Factor 1: Negative self-referential implications (linked to hoarding severity) Factor 2: Perception of uncertainty as unfair (not linked) Internal vs. external perspectives on uncertainty Relevance of anxiety-driven self-criticism Changing Relationship to Uncertainty: Curiosity and Reframing Rilke’s quote on “loving the questions” Transforming approach from fear to curiosity Curiosity as a therapeutic tool Creativity in imagining alternatives and solutions Relevance of loss aversion and cognitive biases Modern Life and Uncertainty Intolerance Research linking increased use of technology (instant answers) to rising intolerance of uncertainty Smartphone/information overload and decreased tolerance “muscle” Relevance to hoarding (desire for backups, information saving) Example: IMDb, screenshots, saving digital info Treatment Strategies Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) effects on intolerance of uncertainty in anxiety Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and exposure-based methods: Pros and cons Importance of a therapist experienced in error-related distress and uncertainty Key skills: Observing distress, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, gradual exposure Self-help approaches: Reframing mistakes as learning Practicing self-compassion Values-based decision-making Systematic exposure to small errors Gradually breaking rigid rules (e.g., waste, tidiness) Recognising individual differences and seeking appropriate support Embracing Mistakes and Humanity Learning from therapist/client anecdotes Cultural expectations around perfectionism vs. real human messiness How mistakes can be positive or even entertaining Letting go of the need for perfection The Four Cs for Managing Uncertainty From Elizabeth Weingarten: Curiosity, Conversation, Community, Commitment How to foster each: Curiosity: Approach with questions and exploration Conversation: Discuss uncertainties with trusted people Community: Build social support Commitment: Dedication to exploring questions and knowing when to let go Links Hillman, S. R. HOARDING DISORDER AND Intolerance of Uncertainty, Anxiety Sensitivity and Distress Tolerance in Hoarding Disorder Compared to OCD and Healthy Controls - Shemariah R. Hillman; Claire L. Lomax; Nadeen Khaleel; Theresa R. Smith; James D. Gregory Baldwin, P. A Multimethod Examination of Vulnerability in Hoarding, UNSW Sydney, 2016. https://doi.org/10.26190/UNSWORKS/19156 Castriotta, N.; Dozier, M. E.; Taylor, C. T.; Mayes, T.; Ayers, C. R. Intolerance of Uncertainty in Hoarding Disorder. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders 2019, 21, 97–101. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jocrd.2018.11.005 Exploring Humanity’s Relationship to Uncertainty with Elizabeth Weingarten  Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, let's revisit this episode with 31 things you can dehoard today if you're stuck and don't know where to start. You can find the full episode transcript and show notes here.  

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Transformation and comfort rarely go hand in hand, especially when it comes to overcoming compulsive hoarding. In this episode, I talk honestly about why making real change means facing discomfort, based on a quote from Healing Justice London that “transformation and comfort do not live in the same house”. I challenge us to identify the difference between familiarity and comfort, and share practical ways to push through those tough moments - because growth comes from getting a bit uncomfortable. If you’re tired of mistaking chaos for comfort, this one’s for you. “Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house” (Healing Justice London) The universal truth behind the idea The necessity of discomfort for real transformation Discomfort Versus Comfort in the Hoarding Context Familiarity as a source of “comfort” for those who hoard Risks of equating familiarity with true comfort The need for change and its inherent discomfort Examples of positive outcomes after embracing discomfort The Reality of Discomfort in Dehoarding Emotional and physical challenges of dehoarding Potential for overwhelming feelings and anxiety Catastrophising and perfectionism surrounding decision-making Emotional toll of letting go and possible identity implications Acknowledgement that discomfort does not mean failure Familiarity Versus Authentic Comfort Distinction between feeling comfortable and something being familiar The false sense of control and security provided by clutter The actual consequences of living in a hoarded home: Physical hazards (tripping, blocked access, risk in emergencies) Social isolation and shame Lack of practical comfort (e.g., not sleeping in one’s own bed) The hidden, ongoing “slow burn” of stress and discomfort Motivation and Community Importance of recognising the true discomfort of living with hoarding Community connections via the podcast and accountability Zoom sessions Methods to share resources and reduce isolation Reframing Discomfort as Growth Viewing discomfort as a sign of progress rather than a warning The parallel discomforts of both dehoarding and continuing to hoard Making conscious choices between competing difficulties Strategies for Managing Discomfort Taking small, manageable steps to build resilience Being gentle and compassionate with oneself during the process Reaching out for support (friends, family, therapist, peer groups) The use and benefit of accountability sessions The Broader Benefits of Transformation Improved physical space and wellbeing Increased self-confidence and pride Better relationships and decreased shame Regaining practical functionality and freedom at home Enhanced overall quality of life Practical Suggestions and Further Resources Trying a small, uncomfortable but positive task today References to previous episodes for deeper exploration: Sitting with discomfort and distress tolerance (Episode 49) Building resilience (Episode 70 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall) Links Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 70: Resilience and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology Enough, the Podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In this episode, I unpack the myth of laziness and why it’s such a damaging label for people with hoarding disorder. I’ll break down how blaming ourselves or others for being “lazy” ignores the real barriers - like overwhelm, poor mental health, executive dysfunction and more - and just piles on more shame. Let’s get honest about what’s actually holding us back and why reframing this idea matters. The Myth of Laziness in Relation to Hoarding Revisiting a previous episode’s question: Are hoarders lazy? Arguments against the idea (hoarded homes require more energy to live in, etc.) The aversion to external intervention reveals deeper issues than laziness Societal attitudes towards rest and productivity Internalised and external accusations of laziness The damaging effects: shame, isolation, distress Understanding Hoarding as a Mental Health Issue Hoarding as a coping method for difficult emotions Judgments of laziness overlook the disorder’s complexity and nuance Such labels add barriers to seeking help and reinforce stigma Consequences of Labelling People who Hoard (or Ourselves) as Lazy Shame and self-criticism deepen the problem Laziness as a simplistic explanation that ignores underlying issues Possible root causes: executive dysfunction, decision-making difficulties, emotional attachment to items, avoidance, depression, physical disability, etc. The Harmful Cultural Narrative Around Laziness Societal pressures to be constantly productive Inaccuracies of the “we all have the same 24 hours” myth Differences in time and capability due to systemic inequalities Examples: physical ability, mental health, neurodivergence, responsibilities, discrimination Moral and Social Implications of the “Lazy” Label Care tasks are morally neutral (reference to KC Davis, episode 82) The negative cycle: shame leads to paralysis, makes it harder to seek help and make progress Laziness label used as a justification for lack of societal support Political and social consequences for marginalised groups Importance of community, support, and helping each other The Danger of Linking Self-Worth to Productivity The toxic culture of non-stop productivity and hustling Problems with feeling guilty for resting The spiral of self-worth being tied to continuous output The Limiting Nature of the Laziness Concept It shuts down further exploration of underlying problems Missed opportunities for self-compassion, empathy, and effective assistance Underlying Reasons for Struggles That Are Mistaken for Laziness Lack of motivation: exhaustion, depression, overwhelm Overwhelm due to the scale of the task Executive dysfunction (planning, initiating, processing tasks) Fear (of the process, of making wrong decisions, of consequences) Fatigue, burnout, and mental health struggles Being practically or emotionally stuck, lacking skills or knowledge Societal Structures and Individual Blame Blame placed on individuals ignores wider systemic and commercial influences Industries profit from reinforcing personal inadequacy (beauty industry analogy, storage solutions) The cycle of self-blame, shame, and attempts to “fix” via consumerism Breaking the Cycle and Moving Forward Recognising the myth of laziness enables real progress Compassion, curiosity, and support as healthier responses Encouragement for self-acceptance and seeking genuine solutions Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Links Podcast ep 57: Are hoarders lazy? I think you’d be surprised… Podcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you’re drowning with KC Davis of Struggle Care Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 186: 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not – Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 188: 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!) Podcast ep 139: Chronic disorganisation with Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UK Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Enough, the Podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m talking about why letting yourself make mistakes - like running out of everyday items or doing things imperfectly - can actually help if you’re struggling with hoarding. From challenging perfectionism to rethinking the fear of scarcity, I’ll share how embracing messiness can move us forward. Plus, I’ll offer practical ideas for easing those fears and making progress, one small, imperfect step at a time. Announcement of new dates for Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Sessions. Aimed at connecting people who hoard for conversation and simultaneous decluttering. Details on how to get tickets and availability through several upcoming months. The Value of Making Mistakes Challenging the idea of perfection and fear of making mistakes. Proposing the benefits of allowing oneself to: Make more mistakes. Run out of things occasionally. Do things imperfectly or “half-arsed.” Identifying how fear of mistakes and perfectionism can keep people stuck in hoarding behaviours. Perfectionism and Fear of Scarcity Perfectionism: Fear of making the “wrong” decision leads to inaction or keeping everything. Uncertainty about the future and anxiety about discarding items. All-or-nothing thinking: If it can't be done perfectly, it’s not worth starting. Personal reflection on the struggle with perfectionist tendencies. Fear of Scarcity: “Keep it just in case” mentality. Stemming from past experiences of poverty or deprivation. How personal history and upbringing foster scarcity-based behaviours. Recognition that such fears can be irrational and still hold significant power. How this fear leads to over-acquisition and reluctance to discard. Addressing Perfectionism and Scarcity (Mindset Shifts) Techniques to gently challenge perfectionism and scarcity fears. Reframing mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures. Allowing for experimentation as a method of progress. Embracing Mistakes as a Path Forward Learning from mistakes as a source of growth and behaviour change. Normalising occasional regrets over discarding or not acquiring something. Comparing the cost of keeping everything versus the occasional “mistake.” Observing emotional responses to mistakes as a way to learn and build decision-making confidence. Encouragement to start with low-risk decisions and build up “dehoarding muscle” gradually. Allowing Things to be Done Imperfectly Encouragement to “do things badly” rather than waiting for perfect execution. “Done is better than perfect” as a motivating principle. The danger of all-or-nothing thinking leading to perpetual inaction. Practical examples of doing small tasks imperfectly: Tackling a small part of a larger problem (e.g., half a shelf). Donating a partial bag of items. Taking any step forward, even imperfect ones, counts as progress. Allowing Yourself to Run Out of Things Creative and resourceful solutions arise when supplies run low. Examples from daily life (cooking, art journalling) where scarcity breeds creativity. Differentiates between essential items and those where running out is an acceptable risk. Suggestions for consciously assessing what’s truly necessary to keep in stock. Experimental Mindset: Treating Dehoarding as Data Collection Each decision - successful or not - provides valuable data for future choices. Building confidence and capability for bigger, more challenging decluttering decisions over time. Summary and Reinforcement of Key Points Allow for imperfection, mistakes, and occasional scarcity. Importance of starting with manageable steps and celebrating imperfect progress. “Done is better than perfect”—taking action, however small, is crucial. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless Common reasons for feeling defeated: The enormity of the task Personal life challenges and lack of time Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper Examples of personal obstacles: Fatigue and physical health Difficulty concentrating Emotional overwhelm and stress Shame and self-blame Sense of impossibility Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification Categorising specific reasons for defeat Writing actionable notes beside each challenge Strategies for managing each obstacle: Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists Coping with Overwhelm Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response Techniques for reducing overwhelm: Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps Focusing on achievable mini-goals Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions Addressing Stress How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat Practical strategies: Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions Tackling the Sense of Impossibility Recognising the vagueness of the feeling Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances Seeking external feedback and community support The Importance of Support Systems Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones Recognising where additional support is needed Celebrating Small Wins The importance of acknowledging tiny victories Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward Recording achievements for self-motivation Links Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 160: Dehoarding with the seasons: get inspired by nature when everything is overwhelming Podcast ep 16: Dealing with overwhelm Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach Financial Confessions podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m looking at what happens if we forgive ourselves for past hoarding behaviours, why we maybe should, and how we can actually use that insight to make better choices and move forward. I talk honestly about the shame and guilt that keeps so many of us stuck. There’s some reflection on the roots of hoarding, the importance of self-compassion, and why hating ourselves into action just doesn’t work -  plus a few practical suggestions for anyone trying to make a change, no matter where you’re starting from. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Forgiving Ourselves but Doing Better Exploration of guilt and shame related to hoarding and feeling overwhelmed. Reflection on self-blame, regret, and paralysis it can cause. Catholic upbringing: Confession, forgiveness, and the importance of genuine intent to change. Recognition that hoarding often stems from trauma, loss, fear, anxiety, or neurodivergence. Discussion of cause and effect - influences behind hoarding behavior. Emphasis that hoarders are not lazy or bad people, but in a complex situation. The cycle of self-judgement and the importance of self-compassion as an antidote to shame. Practical advice: Treat oneself with the compassion you’d offer others, challenging negative self-talk. How self-criticism can demotivate and hinder progress. Comparison: Encouraging someone else is more effective than berating oneself. Understanding mistakes, taking responsibility, and making amends when possible. The importance of learning from past experiences and committing to doing better. Practical Strategies for Moving Forward Suggestions for emotional and action-oriented progress: Journalling or talking to someone about feelings. Looking back with compassion to identify patterns and triggers. Start dehoarding by breaking tasks into small steps. Avoiding perfectionism; celebrating any progress. Reference to "towards and away moves" from episode 182 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall. Identifying values and making choices that align with them. Finding support from therapists, friends, family, support groups, or accountability sessions. Acknowledgement that forgiving oneself is challenging but necessary for progress. Emphasising persistence, compassion, and learning from mistakes. Encouragement and Validation Recognition of listeners at various stages of their journey - starting, struggling, making progress, or just listening for now. Assurance that small steps count and everyone is doing their best. Emphasis that listeners are not alone. Links Podcast ep 181: Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon) Podcast ep 95: Shame and hoarding with Professor Luna Dolezal Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall The Gray Area podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about scaffolding - what it means, how it helps with hoarding recovery, and why our needs for support change over time. We break down practical, emotional, and motivational scaffolding, from therapy and peer support to self-made systems and the way we talk to ourselves. If you’ve ever wondered how to find the right kind of help without feeling stuck with it forever, this is the episode for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Explanation of Scaffolding and the Zone of Proximal Development Definition of scaffolding from educational psychology. Origins in Lev Vygotsky’s work: helping people accomplish tasks with support. Relevance to hoarding and recovery. Application of Scaffolding to Hoarding Recovery Psychological, cognitive, and emotional elements in hoarding. Physical and organisational skill deficits in people who hoard. Differences and interplay between psychological barriers and practical skills. Illustrating support levels: from high assistance to independence. Personal examples demonstrating that support needs can resurface over time. The Changing Nature of Scaffolding Scaffolding shifts in form and amount as people progress or encounter setbacks. Individualisation: What’s supportive for one may not be for another. Types of Scaffolding for Hoarding Recovery External supports: therapists, peers, coaches. Direct instruction and physical assistance. Environmental modifications. Tools and resources. Social encouragement and accountability. Assessing current functioning. Matching support to challenge level (not too easy, not too hard). Gradually reducing support as independence grows. Scaffolding for Neurodivergent Individuals Adjustments for ADHD: Shorter work periods, built-in breaks. Accountability partners and visual reminders/checklists. Adjustments for Autism: Predictable routines. Clear rules and decision trees. Sensory-friendly environments. Executive Function Challenges and Tailored Scaffolding Strategies like breaking down decisions, using templates, "parking lot" systems for deferred decisions. Recognising that executive function can be context-specific and fluctuate. Importance of Emotional Scaffolding Emotional regulation during dehoarding. Need for self-soothing and distress-tolerance skills as support is reduced. Informal and Internal Scaffolding Peer support, self-talk, problem solving, reminders. Adapting systems in the home as a supportive structure. Habituation and Evolvement of Support Systems Reminder fatigue and strategies to combat it (rotating formats, colours, locations). The necessity for systems to evolve as needs and effectiveness change. Mindset Shifts and Realistic Expectations Acceptance that supports may need to be re-engaged during crises or setbacks. Not viewing return to scaffolding as failure - progress and healing aren’t linear. Testing assumptions about personal limitations. Re-evaluating and Customising Support Creating, testing, and modifying practical systems in the home with or without outside perspective. Recognising the value of trying new strategies even if initial skepticism exists. Links Zone of Proximal Development The Metaphor of Scaffolding: Its Utility for the Field of Learning Disabilities, Stone, C. Addison, Journal of Learning Disabilities, 0022-2194, July 1, 1998, Vol. 31, Issue 4 Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Money Love podcast Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and Hoarding Decision making as a common issue among hoarders Overwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new items Episode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to help Why Decision Making is Difficult for People Who Hoard Cognitive Overload Too many items to process, making each choice feel monumental Resulting in avoidance and deferral of decisions Accumulation due to unresolved decisions Analysis Paralysis Being stuck analysing endless options and outcomes Difficulty prioritising and overthinking decisions Exhaustion from mental effort Information Processing Challenges Trouble prioritising urgency and importance Struggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary information Being trapped in unresolvable decision loops Emotional Barriers Perfectionism and fear of making the wrong decision Catastrophising possible negative outcomes All-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionism Sentimental Attachment Struggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories) Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental value Fear of the Future Anxiety about future need or regret causing paralysis Preference for clinging to items over risking discomfort Executive Function Challenges Difficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasks Impact of poor working memory on decision making Consequences of Avoiding Decisions Vicious Cycle of Procrastination Accumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatigue Practical Implications Safety hazards and restricted home usage Social isolation and relationship strain due to inability to host Emotional Impact Stress, depression, guilt, and shame Financial Consequences Extra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penalties Building Negative Self-Perceptions Belief in inability to decide reinforces avoidance Declining self-trust and self-esteem Strategies and Techniques for Improving Decision Making Identify Resistance and Mental Blocks Questioning internal "nope" responses Understanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidance Treat Decisions as Experiments Lowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiences Avoiding a pass/fail mindset Make Micro-Decisions Starting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral items Building decision-making confidence ("decision muscle") Utilise Support Systems Seeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapists Sense-checking and encouragement from others Clarify Values and Priorities Aligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty) Using values as a decision compass Set Time Limits Imposing limits per decision to prevent overthinking Adjusting duration as confidence improves Accept “Good Enough” Decisions Allowing for adequacy over perfection Challenging double standards around self-expectations versus others Reduce Number of Choices Limiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate) Pre-determining criteria to streamline choices Reality Checks Probing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questions Reviewing usage frequency and functionality Increase Awareness of Avoidance Noticing procrastination and avoidance behaviours Evaluating the significance of indecision as a barrier Build Tolerance for Uncertainty and Discomfort Accepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficulties Gradually practicing sitting with uncertainty Practice Consistency in Decision Making Incorporating daily decision-making habits Gently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice made Decision-making is a learnable, improvable skill The importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisions Building self-trust and confidence through repeated practice Encouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live Podcast ep 186: 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not – Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter Coach Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Podcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon Morein Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems’ Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Reasons to be Cheerful with Ed Miliband Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here