That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, I talk about the practical challenges of handling clothes when losing or gaining weight, without promoting or criticising body size changes – this is a diet-culture free zone! I look at the emotional, nostalgic, and practical hurdles in letting go of clothes that no longer fit and offer advice on maintaining a well-balanced wardrobe while managing current size transitions. Like, what do we buy in our new size?! Plus, I'll provide practical tips on selling or donating old clothes and how to avoid over-accumulating in your new size. Handling Clothes When Gaining or Losing Weight Experience with Weight Fluctuation Emotional and Practical Challenges of Clothes That No Longer Fit Challenges of Discarding Clothes Emotional Attachment to Clothes Difficulty in Letting Go of Clothes with Memories or Associations Factors Influencing the Decision to Keep or Discard Clothes Potential Future Weight Fluctuations Emotional Attachments The Sunk Cost Fallacy Guilt About Waste Strategies for Managing Clothes When Weight Changes Building the Dehoarding Muscle Selling vs. Donating Clothes Setting Parameters for Clothing Storage Practical Solutions for Current Clothing Needs Shopping Your Own Stuff Gradual Replacement Strategy Mindful Purchasing Decisions The Liberating Aspects of Letting Go of Clothes

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter. Inviting Professional Help Jasmine explains common motivators for people to seek help Specific incidents or realisations prompting action Example scenarios like misplaced items or repairs The Initial Call to a Professional Organiser What typically prompts the call for professional help Jasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach out The importance of taking calls seriously and with empathy Engaging with Potential Clients Approach to initial conversations with potential clients Building trust and understanding the client's situation Establishing client needs and potential outcomes Assessing the Client’s Home How Jasmine gathers information about the client's home Importance of assessing without judgment Considering client interaction with their items and living space Professional Organiser-Client Dynamics Respecting clients’ preferences and leading decisions Balancing professional insight with client autonomy Working towards the client's goals and priorities Process from Inquiry to Working Together Steps from initial inquiry to in-home visit Managing client expectations and realities Ensuring client comfort and readiness In-Home Visit Experience Jasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visit Avoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalism Logistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environment Judgment and Perception in the Decluttering Process Being conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clients Strategies for maintaining client comfort and trust Determining Fit and Referrals Assessing fit between client and professional organiser Referring clients to other professionals when appropriate Dealing with Client Motivations and External Pressures Addressing clients seeking help due to external pressures Finding a balance between urgency and client readiness Ensuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future Engagement Creating a sense of achievement for the client Fostering positive experiences to encourage future self-help Challenges and Responsibilities of Professional Organisers Ethical responsibilities and managing client expectations Building trust for effective collaboration Personal Reflections and Habits for Mental Health Jasmine shares personal habits that support her mental health Reflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth. Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal Space Permission Slip segment Discussion about photographic portraits Emotions associated with the portraits Objects as Memories Significant memories vs. happy memories Harriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objects Emotional Impact of Objects Portraits as a reminder of insecurity Ventral Vagal Space Concept Use of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theory Connection between emotional safety and physical space Explanation of Polyvagal Theory Breakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal Relevance of Polyvagal Theory to Hoarding Trauma and its relation to object attachment Challenges of decision-making in a cluttered environment Deb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systems Integration needed for a "full life" and connection Practical Application of Ventral Vagal Spaces Creating nourishing home spaces Abundance Importance of Touchstones Explanation and significance of touchstones Examples of personal or portable calming items Creating a Ventral Vagal Space or Touchstone Starting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentment Using childhood memories to influence current safe spaces Applications and Benefits Using the space for emotional regulation Touchstones as portable reminders of safety Recognising objects that already serve as touchstones Importance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstones Utilising Resources for Grounding Examples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain sounds Strategies for implementing these resources in daily life  

Discover nine impactful strategies for managing hoarding behavior and curbing over-acquiring. From tackling unopened letters to using a gamified app for self-care, each strategy offers a fresh perspective on overcoming perfectionism. The importance of supportive friendships shines through as a crucial factor in fostering progress. Embrace imperfection with the innovative 'hummingbird method' while redefining your relationship with anxiety and the inner critic. Join in for a journey marked by kindness and growth as you learn to let go.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, I chat with Harriet Impey about the complex process of clearing out her parents' cluttered house after their deaths. From unusual family rules to emotional ties with objects, we cover how Harriet navigated the challenges of sorting belongings, her family dynamics, and the personal growth she experienced along the way navigating emotional landscapes. We also talk about whether her parents hoarded and how their relationship with their stuff has affected her relationship with her stuff. Plus, we discuss the importance of letting go, embracing mindfulness, and the transformative power of therapy. Trailer: Where Dragons Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ARgzYZei8  Growing up in a cluttered house and realisation later in life Harriet's mother's attachment to objects and possible hoarding Influence of family habits on personal behaviour Relationships and Emotional Awareness Harriet's journey towards emotional awareness and accepting imperfections Importance of recognising complex feelings Managing fear of arguments and expressing anger Using Objects Instead of Saving Them Harriet's family preference for keeping items "too special to use" Transition to using these items with joy Family Dynamics and Emotional Suppression Differences in attitudes towards possessions among Harriet and her siblings Parents' contrasting approaches to objects Impact of her mother's anxiety on household rules and behavior Clearing Out Parents' Home Harriet's responsibility in sorting through parental belongings Emotional impact of dealing with deceased person's possessions Reference to "Swedish Death Cleaning" Importance of considerate item management Therapy and Self-Reflection Harriet's 20 years of therapy and its impact The influence of therapy on personal happiness and self-awareness Learning to be less rigid in life Managing and Letting Go of Belongings Evaluating the necessity of keeping certain belongings Mindfulness and Mental Health Mindful self-compassion and ACT The filming of "Where Dragons Live" The dual charm and burden of the family home Personal Experiences and Family Impact

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-171-hi-ren-the-song-that-dramatically-changed-my-approach-to-my-inner-critic/   In this episode, I discuss Ren's song "Hi Ren," a mind-blowing exploration of inner conflict that blows apart ideas about the balance between darkness and light within us all. We'll unpack Ren's introspective lyrics, which explore themes like mental illness and creativity, and consider his take on life and what we can learn from it. I share how this song's impact has resonated with my own journey in dealing with grief and the inner critic. Watch the original song by Ren here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc&pp=ygUGaGkgcmVu  Impact of "Hi Ren" by Ren Gill on my life Relation to grief and managing the inner critic Themes of Strength and Hope Inner strength and resilience amidst challenges Inner Conflict Illness and psychological battles The pendulum metaphor, advocating acceptance Universal evil and inner conflict Dark side as defensive rather than malevolent Chaos and division as intrinsic parts of self Identification with 'hope' indicating a shift towards optimism Life as a Dance Complexity and humanity over supernatural perfection Episode contains sensitive topics including swearing, suicide, and mental distress Song Analysis Exploration of mental illness and creativity struggles Connection to personal inner critic experiences Dialogue between Ren's dark and light personas Discussion of inner conflict and personal growth Internal struggle about personal achievements Dark side's criticism of Ren’s insecurities Ren’s music achieving 43 million YouTube views Dark side as a symbol of temptation and negativity Host's parallel with personal inner critics Steve Chapman's TED talk on inner critics Emotional impact of "Hi Ren" song on the host Dark Ren attacks out of fear and insecurity. Inner critic misconstrues protection as help. Inner critic always undermines self-confidence, futile. Ren's song conveys hope's profound impact. Embrace change; it's an evolving balance. Struggling makes us human, imperfect, and relatable.

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

Get your 2025 decluttering inspo calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Exploring impermanence, this episode highlights how these concepts can help us understand hoarding behaviours and the illusion of control. Looking at impermanence also includes addressing mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, coping with change, ambiguity and uncertainty. Yikes! Embracing Impermanence Psychological benefits of impermanence Concept of "glimmers" Interplay between mindfulness and impermanence Fernández-Campos paper on non-judgmental attention Critique of commercial distortion of mindfulness Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness Practical mindfulness exercises Mindfulness in Hoarding Context Psychological dimensions and security from possessions Environmental Responsibility vs. Hoarding Personal insights on waste and possessions Uncertainty, Ambiguity, and Impermanence in Hoarding Tolerance of uncertainty and ambiguity Embracing impermanence to reduce distress Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Hoarding Psychological flexibility and acceptance of constant change ACT's promotion of resilience Use of ACT and Compassion Focused Therapy Radical Acceptance Steps to practice radical acceptance Awareness and curiosity toward challenges Vocalising Thoughts and Journaling Benefits of speaking thoughts aloud Buddhist Concepts and Impermanence Awareness and acceptance in Buddhism Tara Brach’s qualities of awareness Personal Reflections on Change and Relationships Resisting and coming to terms with change "Permission Slip" Segment Concept of Control and Suffering in Hoarding Desire for permanence leading to hoarding behaviour Justifications for Keeping Items Avoiding unnecessary consumption Ethical decision-making when buying Increasing Awareness and Understanding Personal Motivations Promoting curiosity through being without something

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, I ask Dr Chia-Ying Chou about the complex interplay between grief and hoarding. We'll explore how emotions like grief can trigger hoarding behaviour, the role an inner critic plays, and learn all about compassion-focused therapy – including why it’s so much easier to offer compassion than to receive it. The timing is perfect, coinciding with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK. Grief and Hoarding Discussion Chia-Ying Chou discusses the non-direct link between grief and hoarding based on clinical experience. Factors such as resistance to grieving and avoiding vulnerability exacerbate hoarding. Grief can trigger hoarding behaviour to maintain a sense of control and avoid confronting loss. Host shares personal experiences of how grief intensified their hoarding behaviour. Grief and Possessions People keep deceased loved ones' belongings as a way to preserve their existence. Chou mentions the ambiguous preservation of loved ones through items. Anxiety and resistance to facing grief make organising or discarding possessions difficult. Complex Emotions in Grief Host reflects on the unexpected emotions in grief, like anger or impatience. Therapeutic Strategies for Grief and Hoarding Chou compares addressing resistance to grief to preparing for a challenging hike. Emphasis on resourcing, preparing mentally, and gathering support. Suggestions for a "baby-step" approach to facing fears and emotions. Inner Critic and Grief Host discusses journey with their inner critic and finding new approaches to handle it. Chou highlights how internal criticism is often related to grief and missed opportunities. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) Integration of Western psychotherapy and Buddhist philosophy for addressing psychological challenges. Difficulty in receiving or directing compassion towards oneself. Connections Between Hoarding, Trauma, and Grief Patterns of loss, either tangible or intangible, among those who hoard. Episode ties with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK. Cultivating Compassionate Companions Idea of cultivating an imaginary compassionate companion for emotional support. Emphasis on emotions being a part of persona, not the true self. Emotions and Grief Management Pacing yourself. Chou recommends creating space for emotions to surface naturally. Encouragement to welcome emotions as a creative process in internal space. Examine fears and take small steps to engage with feelings.