That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding #178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards
Feb 28, 2025
51:38
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In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.
- Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home
- Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding
- Sam’s Childhood Experience
- Description of upbringing in a hoarded home
- Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety
- Lack of emotional and physical space
- Experiences of shame and comparison with peers
- Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life
- Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course
- Impact of hoarding on family relationships
- Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development
- Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health
- Struggle with self-esteem and self-care
- Connection between environment and depression
- Feelings of negativity and isolation
- School and Social Interactions
- Effect on academic performance and organisational skills
- Challenges in completing schoolwork
- Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties
- Adolescence and Growing Awareness
- Anger and frustration during teenage years
- Lack of external intervention and support
- Missed opportunities for professional help
- External Perception and Professional Insight
- Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding
- Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others
- Relationship with Food and Nutrition
- Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells
- Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit
- Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult
- Leaving the Home and Independence
- Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20
- Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home
- Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home
- Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life
- Influence on career choice and support work with young carers
- Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care
- Struggles with mental health and burnout
- Sam’s Relationship with Family
- Complex relationship dynamics with parents
- Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions
- Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family
- Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning
- Sam’s approach to possessions
- Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks
- Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space
- Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations
- Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders
- Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas
- Strategies for mental health and personal growth
- Final Thoughts and Reflections
- Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding
- Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences