That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding #191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated
Jun 20, 2025
36:35
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Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try.
Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad
- Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding
- Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless
- Common reasons for feeling defeated:
- The enormity of the task
- Personal life challenges and lack of time
- Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals
- Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles
- Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT
- Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper
- Examples of personal obstacles:
- Fatigue and physical health
- Difficulty concentrating
- Emotional overwhelm and stress
- Shame and self-blame
- Sense of impossibility
- Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification
- Categorising specific reasons for defeat
- Writing actionable notes beside each challenge
- Strategies for managing each obstacle:
- Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance
- Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame
- Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care
- Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists
- Coping with Overwhelm
- Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response
- Techniques for reducing overwhelm:
- Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps
- Focusing on achievable mini-goals
- Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions
- Addressing Stress
- How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat
- Practical strategies:
- Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress
- Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm
- Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions
- Tackling the Sense of Impossibility
- Recognising the vagueness of the feeling
- Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible
- Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat
- Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks
- Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt
- Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life
- Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations
- Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals
- Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances
- Seeking external feedback and community support
- The Importance of Support Systems
- Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones
- Recognising where additional support is needed
- Celebrating Small Wins
- The importance of acknowledging tiny victories
- Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward
- Recording achievements for self-motivation
Links
- Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder
- Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall
- Podcast ep 160: Dehoarding with the seasons: get inspired by nature when everything is overwhelming
- Podcast ep 16: Dealing with overwhelm
- Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach
- Financial Confessions podcast
- Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
- Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
- Become a Dehoarding Darling
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- Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
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