Today, we're going to be talking about something called Mental Emotional Release (MER) with guest Rich Heller. The MER technique helps to release triggers or emotional patterns, thereby leading us on a path toward healing. Divorce is an emotionally charged time, so I thought this might be an interesting topic to share with listeners.  Rich is a Relationship Fitness Coach and mediator. He helps parents transform a negative relationship with conflict into one in which they resolve differences creatively. He helps them learn the tools and techniques needed to increase joy and resilience for themselves and their children. Rich is also an MER facilitator. MER is fascinating and Rich describes it in-depth, in this episode. Featured topics include: When you’re getting divorced triggers are really expensive (5:01) How MER helps the unconscious mind release emotional triggers (16:42) We geek out on brain facts like how our unconscious mind does not know the difference between what we imagine versus what is real (18:39) Learn more about Rich Heller:Rich is a Relationship Fitness Coach and mediator. Rich helps parents to transform a negative relationship with conflict into one in which they resolve differences creatively. He helps them learn the tools and techniques needed to increase joy and resilience for themselves and their children. Additionally Rich helps organizations and businesses transform destructive conflict into a vehicle for change and innovation.He went to Vassar College for his BA and Hunter School of Social Work for his MA. He is a trained mediator and parent coordinator, Professional Certified Coach, and an ELI Master Practitioner.  No stranger to conflict. Rich Heller grew up in NYC, is a child of divorce, has been divorced, and successfully remarried. He and his partner Katherine have been married for over 20 years and launched five children into the world. Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-mental-emotional-release-technique-with-rich-hellerRetreat with Kate Rich’s website Rich on Youtube Rich on Facebook Rich on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHYThe Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy.Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.)JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I welcome Dr. Tom Murray for a conversation about the difference between discernment counseling and couples therapy. Dr. Tom is an author, international trainer, educator, and couples and sex-therapist supervisor. He is also a sought-after expert in sexuality and intimate relationships. In this episode, we get to the root of why couples therapy does not work in the traditional sense, and how discernment counseling might be a better option for you and your partner. This is a wonderful and insightful discussion for all who listen. Featured topics include: Discernment counseling: what it is and how it can help couples make a decision about what’s next for them (4:07) The difference between couples therapy and discernment counseling (6:42) The three paths of discernment counseling: status quo, divorce, or couples therapy (7:34) If there is domestic violence in a relationship, discernment counseling is not appropriate (9:10) Agenda versus Love: “When I want you to be as I want you to be, that’s an agenda. When I want you to be as you want to be, that’s love.” Even in the presence of love, however, you don’t have to stay married. (18:00) Why Dr. Tom says, “Rather than focus on the assumption that therapy is the catalyst for the change, focus on the change you want to see.” (22:21) Learn more about Dr. Tom Murray:Dr. Tom Murray, an international trainer, educator, and couples and sex therapist, is a widely sought-after expert in sexuality and intimate relationships. He authored the 2022 book, Making Nice with Naughty: An intimacy guide for the rule-following, organized, perfectionist, practical, and color-within-the-line types.For 20+ years, Murray has worked with everyday folks to embrace their weirdness, shed labels and shame, lean into anxiety, and build better and stronger relationships.Murray’s doctorate is in marriage and family counseling from the University of Florida. Clinically, he combines a pull-no-punches, no-beating-around-the-bush style. His integrated therapy approach has helped folks quiet the mind-chatter that interferes with happiness, intimacy, and quality sexual relationships.Dr. Murray has appeared in numerous venues, including the Huffington Post and The Daily Mail, as well as radio, television and podcasts, including the Practice of Being Seen and Shrink Rap Radio. He’s a highly acclaimed presenter at local, regional, and national conferences on various mental health and relationship topics. Dr. Murray has published numerous articles in professional journals and has had faculty affiliations with UNC Greensboro, Walden University, Lindsey Wilson College, Northwestern University’s Family Institute, the Modern Sex Therapy Institute, and Adler University.In addition to his couples and sex therapy practice, Dr. Murray is passionate about Highly Sensitive Persons, artists, actors, dancers, musicians, and other creative types. With nearly a decade of experience as the director of a counseling center for one of the premier art conservatories in the nation, Dr. Murray integrates knowledge from business, positive psychology, sports psychology, mindfulness, and performance optimization to manifest creative aspirations.Dr. Murray lives in Greensboro, NC, along with his two sons. In addition to his strong passion for sex-positive, clinical practice, and advocacy, Dr. Murray enjoys writing jokes, taking comedy improv courses, cooking and baking, singing, and participating in his faith community. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dawn Dais, author of The Sh!t No One Tells You… series joins me on the podcast to talk about the things nobody tells you about divorce. Her most recent book The Shit No One Tells You About Divorce takes readers along on her bumpy, meandering, and often absurd journey through the destruction of life exploded by divorce as she tries to figure out what happened… and what happens next. In this episode, Dawn shares her divorce journey, her experience writing her latest book, and some of the lessons she’s learned along the way. Featured topics include: You have to process your thoughts and feelings about divorce eventually, otherwise, it all catches up with you and impacts future relationships  Dawn takes us through what she calls the seven stages of divorce: Denial, Glee/Booze, The Blame Game, Netflix and Cry, All the Therapy, The Hoe Phase, and The Shrug The biggest lesson of Dawn’s divorce, as a co-parent, was “I can’t be done with this person. We have to come back to the table and redefine how we are to each other; for our kids.”  You are going to walk away from a divorce with different narratives and you have no control over what their narrative is.   Dawn answers, “Do you feel there are different dynamics with parenting, relationships, and divorce coming from the perspective of LGBTQ+ couples?” Learn more about Dawn:Dawn Dais knows all about life’s rollercoasters; in fact, she’s made a career of writing bestselling books about them. Whether she was going from couch potato to marathoner, navigating pregnancy, or tackling parenting, her books have become go-to guides for honest, been-there-done-that wisdom delivered with wicked humor. But what do you do when life blindsides you with a challenge that is decidedly less entertaining?After 12 years of domestic partnership, five properties, two children, and 10 pets, Dawn and her partner decided to call it quits. In THE SH!T NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT DIVORCE: A Guide to Breaking Up, Falling Apart, and Putting Yourself Back Together, Dawn takes readers on her bumpy journey through a life exploded by divorce. She dodges legal hurdles, irrational decisions, alarmed therapists, random hobbies, and a concerning number of dating app profiles that look like the beginning of a true crime podcast. Leaning into the mess, Dawn helps readers learn the art of embracing “Netflix and cry,” the healing power of profanity, the importance of assembling the right support squad, how to survive the sh!tshow of co-parenting, and much more.THE SH!T NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT DIVORCE is a true-to-life and funnier-than-it-should-be guide that helps readers navigate a life blown apart and embrace the unique opportunity to put things back together in better ways.Resources & Links:Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-sht-they-dont-tell-you-about-divorce-with-dawn-dais/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am back this week with another Q&A-style episode. Full disclosure, I didn't have a podcast episode prepared for this week because I’d been sick and had to keep canceling interviews, but I had an Ask Me Anything (AMA) scheduled for my Facebook group, so I thought it would be fun to share the recording of that on the podcast this week.In this episode, I answer questions related to co-parenting with an abusive ex, tackling feelings of guilt or anxiety, falling out of love, being triggered in new relationships, and address this really beautiful one, “I just want to know that the children will be okay.”  There were so many amazing questions asked and I am so thankful to all of the amazing women who showed up for the live recording. At the end of the day the most important thing is that you show up to do the work, and for your kids. When you do that, then yes, the children will be okay. I hope you enjoy this episode!Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/ask-me-anything Kate’s coaching, programs, and courses:Grit & GraceThe Divorce Survival ProgramShould I Stay or Should I Go?Tackling CodependencePodcast episodes:Healing from Betrayal with Gilza Fort Martinez, LMFTPost-Betrayal Transformation With Dr. Debi SilberProtective Parenting with Dr. Christine CocchiolaCouples Therapy and Abuse with Annette OltmansBlog posts:Living Together While Separated? Here’s How To Take Back Control Of Your LifeBooks:Facing Codependence, Pia MellodyParenting Apart, Christina McGheeOther resources referenced:Marriage Recovery CenterChristina McGhee The M3ND ProjectTODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHYThe Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am back with a new episode this week and it is a listener Q&A! You’ve submitted your questions and stories on topics such as co-parenting, how to make hard decisions about divorce, and how to survive financially, especially if you can’t afford to leave your marriage. Tune into this episode to hear my answers to these questions and more.  In this episode, I answer these listener questions: My partner and I have had a separation conversation with our children. We’ve separated and now we're moving on to the divorce process. When do we tell our children about the divorce? How can I create healthy boundaries and life for myself, when my ex-husband and I have a young child together? I cannot afford to leave and am overwhelmed with things like car maintenance, home maintenance, and repairs. How can I survive financially?  Should I move back to my home country with my two kids where I have a support system or stay in the country where their life is and their father is, but where I'm alone? How do I cope with the number of decisions I must make while going through a divorce - such as what lawyer to hire, what to do with the family home, and what custody schedule to follow? Links:Desha Kennedy on Instagram @thebrokeblackgirl TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHYThe Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I am re-sharing my episode featuring Michelle Dempsey-Multack which was all about how to survive the holidays pre- or post-divorce. If this is your first Christmas alone or last holiday as a single-family unit, this episode will offer advice about how to create new holiday traditions, how to set boundaries, and how to take care of yourself during this highly emotional and uncertain time in your life. Michelle is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®), and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade – just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie. Resources & Links:Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-spotlight-surviving-the-holidays-with-michelle-dempsey-multackMichelle’s website Michelle on Instagram Michelle on Facebook Mom’s Moving On PodcastTODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHYThe Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks. With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I welcome love coach Shaun Galanos to the show. Together we discuss communication tools for better relationships, modern dating, and love. Shaun is also the host of The Love Drive podcast and an online course creator. If you are divorced and thinking about dating - this episode is an invitation to strive for more open communication in new relationships. Every conversation is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and those around you. Show Highlights: Why communication in relationships feels hard or scary (3:42) Modern dating and getting back out there (8:04) We all need external validation, but it does not have to come from a new romantic partner (16:28) Red flags and triggers: how to evaluate red flags and what to do about relationship triggers (20:12) What does fear of intimacy actually mean? (29:31) Sex and dating: the best guideline is “Do I want to and do they want to?” (41:44) Learn more about Shaun:Shaun Galanos is a love coach, host of The Love Drive podcast, and an online course creator. He teaches intimacy and communication tools for better relationships and more love.He holds certifications in Personal and Professional Coaching from Concordia University, Rape Crisis Counseling from BAWAR in Oakland, CA, and a Bachelor’s Degree in Interpersonal Communication from UC Santa Barbara.When he’s not teaching courses on intimacy and communication or recording his podcast, he’s continuing to learn about love, working on this relationship with his partner, and building community in Montreal.Resources & Links: Links and information can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/communication-for-better-relationships-and-love-with-shaun-galanos/Submit your questions to be answered on a future episode Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open – Join us! Shaun's website Shaun on Instagram Shaun on TikTok Shaun on Facebook Shaun on YouTubeTODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adam Dodge and Adriane Nada join me for a conversation about how to empower your children to make good decisions online. Kids today understand how to use technology, but that does not mean they know how to do it safely. The internet was not built for children, but that’s where they are growing up. Adam and Adriane created The Tech-Savvy Parent online course to keep parents informed and their kids safe. In this episode, they share some ways parents can lay the groundwork for having safe interactions in an online world. Adam Dodge is an internationally recognized digital safety expert and a parent. You may have heard him on the podcast when he joined me to talk about how to protect yourself from digital abuse. Adriane Nada is Professor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and a parent too.  Show Highlights Adam and Adriane explain what they mean by “kids' lives have gone digital, but parenting has not.” (5:05) How to be more involved in a child’s digital life and keep the conversation open (15:17) Why we need to expand conversations about strangers from the physical world to the online world. Online harm is as serious as offline harm. (17:35) How to teach kids empathy and consent in ways that will be effective during online interactions (27:51) Learn more about Adam and Adriane:Adam Dodge, Esq., is a Digital Safety Expert and Founder of EndTAB.org. The founder of EndTAB, Adam is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. His work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He has written and presented extensively on digital safety, online abuse prevention, technology-enabled abuse, and co-authored the first safety advisory on the emerging threat of ‘deepfakes.’ His work and expertise has been featured on CBS and in Vogue, the MIT Technology Review, Washington Post, NBC News, the Verge, Mashable, Wall Street Journal, SELF Magazine, Los Angeles Times, GQ, HuffPost and others. Adam is a licensed attorney in California and prior to founding EndTAB, he spent 9 years leading the legal department at Southern California Domestic Violence Nonprofit.Adriane Nada MS, LMFT, LPCC is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional clinical counselor living in Portland, Oregon. Nada is certified in eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. As a clinician in private practice, Nada specializes in healing childhood trauma and anxiety. She believes profound and lasting change emerges through the use of client-centered and holistic methods, integrating traditional psychotherapy theories and practice with mind-body approaches. As an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, her class instruction has included the following courses: Clinical Interventions for Children and Adolescents; Individual Techniques in Counseling and Psychotherapy; and Couple and Family Therapy.Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/keeping-your-kids-safe-online-with-adam-dodge-and-adriane-nada/The Tech-Savvy ParentHow to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge Gabb Cell Phone TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKProof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases.JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Christine Cocchiola returns to the show to talk about coercive control and its impact on children. Dr. Cocchiola’s goal, and the goal of this episode, is to help you create a more secure environment for your child. Divorcing an abuser is hard, but while you are going through this really tumultuous time, you can still show your children a path to freedom. Yes, it’s hard work. Perhaps it’s the hardest work you will ever do, but you can reignite the attachment you have always had with your child and be their saving grace too. Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally.Show Highlights Coercive control is a pattern of behavior and it can be covert or overt. It is when one person wants to retain power and control over another (4:55) Coercive control is the foundation of most domestic abuse (5:17) If your spouse is abusing you, your child is a victim of abuse too. Children learn how to regulate their behavior to appease an abusive parent. (11:50) You have to be actively working to create a strong foundation so your child clearly knows you are the calm and safe parent (27:21) Abuse is a choice, and there is no excuse for it (41:26) Dr. Cocchiola answers, “Do coercive controllers have the ability to love their children?” (43:44) Learn more about Christine:Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children.Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at:  https://kateanthony.com/podcast/protective-parenting-with-dr-christine-cocchiola Dr. Cocchiola’s website Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn Dr. Cocchiola’s past episode on Coercive ControlThe Protective Parenting ProgramSurviving the Holidays with Michelle Dempsey-MultackCo-parenting During the Holidays, During a Pandemic with Michelle Dempsey-MultackTODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Liz Bailey joins me this week to share her experience leaving an abusive marriage and how that drives her passion for helping women rise up, thrive, and take action steps to move forward before, during, or after divorce.For listeners who feel they are never going to be on the other side of their divorce, Liz’s story is a testament that there is “the other side,” and that you can get there too—with planned action. Listen in to hear my candid conversation with Liz about her journey thus far, and what she’s learned along the way. Show Highlights There are milestones in the divorce process that help you feel closer and closer to getting out (7:25) Abusive behaviors in people do not often change - fundamental values must shift which takes a lot of time and work (years worth). Short-term therapy is not the answer. (15:46) How Liz decided she was ready to leave her abusive relationship and the steps she took to plan her exit, safely (19:38) Your risk of domestic homicide greatly increases when you say you are going to leave. This is why it is imperative to plan and seek resources from domestic violence advocates (19:54) Why hiring a trauma-informed family lawyer is so important for abuse victims (28:00) Domestic Violence Shelters offer a wide variety of resources for you, including advocacy, legal aid, and more (36:08) Surround yourself with people who understand what is happening and can support you (36:53) Liz talks about co-parenting with her ex-spouse: “I believe the history of his behavior and therefore, practice BIFF.” (42:25)   Learn more about Liz:Liz G. Bailey is a mother, published author, speech-language pathologist, and podcast host who thrives at the intersection of compassion and humor — known for saying some off-the-wall stuff without a filter, all to create a transformative experience for her audiences. With a master’s degree in communication sciences and a survivor of Domestic Violence, she knows what it means to use your voice to protect yourself and those you love.After bravely leaving an abusive marriage, she has triumphed over her life’s challenges by seeing the bigger picture and raising herself through spiritual growth. Now, as a champion for women and an advocate for prevention and survivors of Domestic Violence, Liz shares her life’s experiences on stage, at events, and on podcasts, inspiring her audiences to rise up and thrive, see their inherent value, and take action steps no matter the situation.When she is not writing inspiring articles or teaching others how to use their voices, she is speaking and editing her podcast, The Pretty Truth. She and her best friend connect with thought leaders from around the world on topics ranging from personal and spiritual growth to the power of communication in relationships to living up to your highest self after trauma. We created this podcast to remember and emphasize that we are not alone on our paths and that slowing down to be OK with our perfectly imperfect selves is powerful. Liz’s purpose is to empower others and inspire the courage to walk away from victimhood and find wholeness and happiness after trauma. She communicates the truth and leaves people feeling joy, hope, and a desire to take action. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices