The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Solo Episode alert!!  After over a decade of working with thousands of women, I’ve become really good at mapping out the entire divorce process and pinpointing where on that map someone might land. I’ve become so good at it that I actually created something I’m calling The Divorce Roadmap. In this episode, I share the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and explore the various phases within each stage. Divorce journeys are almost never linear, they ebb and flow and have hard times and times when things fall neatly into place. Knowing where you are on your journey can help you prepare for what’s to come. If, after listening to this episode, you have found yourself somewhere along the map described, I have resources for every phase and every stage. Download your free Divorce Roadmap today! Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-212-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce Download The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Curated Podcast PlaylistThe Divorce Roadmap Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramHow to Not Fuck Up Your Kids Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go? TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the hild in your Family Law cases. DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

“Mom, did Dad cheat on you?” If and when your child comes to you with questions about why you and your ex are divorcing, do you know how you plan to respond?   This week, Christina McGhee joins me to talk about how to walk the line between not gaslighting your children versus not throwing a co-parent under the bus or telling children truths that might be too hard for them to hear. In this episode, you’ll hear practical strategies for maneuvering this complex situation. This is an important episode for any parent going through a divorce or experiencing hardships in their relationship. As you listen, please remember to allow yourself grace as you walk this difficult journey with your kids.  Featured topics include: How to communicate with kids about the ‘whys’ around the ending of your marriage (4:55) A reminder that you do not need to give a full accounting of your marital issues (13:20) Meet your kids where they’re at, and focus on their feelings. (14:08) You don’t need all of the answers in order to have a conversation with your children. (20:58) Think before you speak and consider: Do you need to share certain information because your child should hear it or because you feel the need to tell it? (23:02) How to respond when your child says their co-parent is not emotionally available to have a conversation or listen to them, and how to help your kids learn to cope. (25:28) Learn more about Christina McGhee:  Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. While splitting up is undeniably hard, Christina believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families. She feels with the right kind of information and support, parents have the ability to be a child's absolute best resource when families change.  Throughout her career, she has educated both parents and professionals on how to minimize the impact of divorce on children. In her book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids,  Christina offers parents useful strategies for dealing with the “real-life” everyday challenges of coparenting.  One of her core beliefs is that divorce doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a parent going through a bad time.  Because she is passionate about helping parents get through that bad time, Christina also maintains an active coaching practice that allows her to work with Moms and Dads all over the world. Most recently, Christina launched an online program, Coparenting with Purpose. Designed to provide moms and dads with an easy, convenient way to access critical information, it’s filled with practical tools and solutions for managing the most common coparenting problems. Additionally, she has contributed to several other media projects as a featured expert, a content consultant, and a writer/producer. Currently, she serves as a consulting producer and subject matter expert for the documentaries SPLIT: A film for kids and their parents and Split UP: The Teen Years, two compelling films that let kids know they’re not alone and normalize the many feelings and experiences children and teens encounter when parents part. Over the years, she has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, and in print around the US and abroad. A few places you may have seen her are TODAY Parents, the BBC, The Times, and Parents Magazine. Married for over twenty-seven years, Christina and her husband live outside of Houston, Texas. As a mom of four (two bonus and two bio) children, she has acquired extensive on-the-job training as a chauffeur, negotiator, short-order cook, scheduler extraordinaire, and finder of all things lost. To find out more,  check her out at divorceandchildren.com Resources & Links:Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-211-talking-honestly-with-your-kids-about-their-other-parent Our monthly live Q+A, Coffee Klatch with Kate, is happening next Tuesday, April 11, at 9:30 am Pacific / 12:30 pm Eastern. Register here!Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramPrivate Coaching with Kate Christina’s websiteParenting Apart, Christina McGhee Christina on Facebook Christina on Instagram Christina on LinkedIn Episode 209: Sex Addiction, Cheating, and Betrayal with Dr. Rob Dr. Cocchiola’s Protective Parenting Program Thank you to our Sponsor: Cozy EarthCozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code “DSG” at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show!  ========= DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.  

Rebecca Zung returns to the show to share her expertise on narcissism and negotiation. Rebecca is a Narcissism Negotiation Expert, founder of the SLAY negotiation method, popular YouTuber, and one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation. In this episode, Rebecca sheds light on what it’s like to have a partner who is a narcissist and what happens when you want to get out of the relationship. She also shares valuable advice on dealing with a narcissistic ex who launches a smear campaign about you, describes her SLAY negotiation method, and debunks some myths. This episode contains insightful advice and value for anyone looking to break free from a narcissistic partner or ex-partner. Featured topics include: What it’s like to have a partner who is a narcissist, and what happens when you want to get out of the relationship (3:36) When your narcissist ex launches a smear campaign about you: never defend, explain, justify, or overshare (11:09) Rebecca busts some myths about narcissists, including “narcissists just want to win.” (24:40) How to slay your negotiations with a narcissist (27:43) Certain things are negotiable, and certain things are not: what is not negotiable is your self-respect and your value as a human (38:21) Learn more about Rebecca Zung: Rebecca Zung is a Narcissism Negotiation Expert, founder of the SLAY negotiation method, popular YouTuber (more than 20 MILLION VIEWS in less than 2 years), and one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell. She is the author of TWO bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor. Her perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, as she has been featured in or on Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York, and CBS Los Angeles among others. Now, she is continuing to serve through her very popular YouTube channel, media appearances, podcast, articles, and on-demand programs such as S.L.A.Y. Your Negotiation™ with a Narcissist, SLAY the Narcissist in Family Court, and Breaking Free™ Divorce Masterclasses. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-210-slay-your-negotiations-with-a-narcissist-with-rebecca-zung/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionGrit & Grace Coaching Program Rebecca’s websitePre-order Rebecca’s upcoming book, Slay the BullyRebecca’s Free Crush My Negotiation WorksheetRebecca on FacebookRebecca on YoutubeRebecca on InstagramRebecca on LinkedinRebecca on TiktokRebecca on Twitter TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?   DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Is it sex addiction, or is he just a cheater? Does the distinction even matter? That is just one of the topics I discuss in this episode with my guest, Robert Weiss, Ph.D., LCSW (Dr. Rob). Dr. Rob is the Chief Clinical Officer of Seeking Integrity LLC, which provides online education and residential treatment for sex, porn, and substance/sex-addicted men and their families. During our conversation, we delve into the differences between sex addiction and love addiction and discuss whether sex addiction is just a fancy name for cheating. We also explore coping with betrayal and how to move forward and restore trust as a couple. This episode provides a deep and informative conversation about sex addiction and cheating and provides insights for listeners who may be struggling with these issues in their own relationships. Featured topics include: The difference between sex addiction and love addiction (5:18) Is sex addiction just a fancy name for cheating? (15:09) Coping with betrayal: understanding betrayal trauma and ambivalent love (22:44) How to move forward and restore trust as a couple after betrayal (30:20) “There is nothing you have ever done that caused this to happen.” (38:42) Dr. Rob sounds off about codependence vs. prodependence (39:05) The impact on children when a parent cheats or is a sex addict, plus what to say or not to say to a child about their cheating/addicted parent (51:50) Learn more about Dr. Rob: Robert Weiss, Ph.D., LCSW is Chief Clinical Officer of Seeking Integrity LLC, with clinical programs that provide online education and residential treatment for sex, porn, and substance/sex-addicted men and their families. A psychotherapist and addiction specialist, he has created six intimacy and addiction treatment programs in the US, Southeast Asia, and the US military. Dr. Weiss is an online host for Digital Addiction on A&E. He has served as a subject-matter expert for numerous major media outlets, including CNN, NPR, and The New York Times, among others. He is the author of eleven books, including Prodependence, Sex Addiction 101, and Out of the Doghouse. His Psychology Today blog, “Love and Sex in the Digital Age,” has over 21 million reads, while his podcast, “Sex, Love, & Addiction,” has over 1.1 million downloads. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-209-sex-addiction-cheating-and-betrayal-with-dr-rob/  Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionGrit & Grace Coaching ProgramPrivate Coaching with Kate Dr. Rob’s website Dr. Rob on YouTube Dr. Rob on Twitter Dr. Rob on Facebook Dr. Rob on LinkedIn Sex, Love, and Addiction podcast A Light In the Dark (book) TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?   DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

65-75% of women say they would get divorced if they could, but the fear of post-separation abuse and the court system often prevent them from leaving unequal relationships. And quite frankly, women are fed up, and we have every right to be. Zawn Villines, a feminist activist and writer, joins me for a conversation about misogyny in motherhood and marriage; and how to start advocating for yourself and the women around you. Through her work, Zawn argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women's lives and futures. In this episode, Zawn and I talk about the division of labor in a marriage, how to communicate openly about creating a shared partnership early on in your relationship, and what to do if you are in a marriage where your partner isn’t participating in parenting and other responsibilities equally. I am such a fan of Zawn’s work, and in fact, I share it all the time. I am thrilled to have her on the show! Featured topics include: Zawn describes her background as a feminist and how she came to focus on issues of inequality in marriage and motherhood (1:42) If you are going to be in a long-term relationship with someone, it should be passionate, romantic, full of love, and also a real partnership (5:02) Zawn describes her viral Facebook post about men not contributing enough in heterosexual relationships and the response she received from it (10:17) Why it is imperative we create parenting standards that apply to both parents (25:37) A bad husband who abuses his partner is not a good dad, plain and simple (26:33) Productive conversations about household labor involve acknowledging it is work and stepping up when necessary (37:28) Marriage shouldn't feel exhausting from putting in too much work; it should be a happy, fulfilling partnership (43:43) Learn more about Zawn Villines: Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities. Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy. Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization. She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-208-misogyny-in-motherhood-and-marriage-with-zawn-villines/Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A Session Retreat with Kate Grit & Grace Coaching Program Subscribe to Zawn’s newsletter! Zawn on Facebook Zawn on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?   DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Attorney, CDFA, and author Patrick Kilbane joins me to discuss what you need to consider when selecting a divorce attorney. In this episode, we cover some criteria for choosing an attorney, questions to ask during your initial consultation, and what you need to know about your money as you move through divorce. Patrick is Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL.  Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last ten years.  He’s also the author of Move Forward Confidently, a Woman’s Guide to Navigating the High Net Worth Divorce. Featured topics include: The criteria for selecting an attorney that is right for you (3:06) Some questions to ask during the initial consultation (10:51) The two most important aspects of your divorce case (25:05) What you need to know about your money before going into a divorce(30:43) Learn more about Patrick Kilbane: Patrick Kilbane is a Partner, the General Counsel, and a Wealth Advisor for Ullmann Wealth Partners, headquartered in Jacksonville Beach, FL.  Ullmann Wealth Partners is an independent wealth management firm that manages nearly a billion dollars of client assets in custody at Fidelity.  Before joining Ullmann Wealth Partners, Pat was a Shareholder at Gray Robinson, P.A., where he had a thriving specialty litigation practice (mainly high net-worth divorce cases).  Pat was recognized multiple times by Florida Trend and Super Lawyers Magazine for his skills and professionalism. Pat has earned the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and has testified as an expert witness in divorce cases over the last 10 years. Pat serves the Northeast Florida Region in several roles.  He’s received five gubernatorial appointments to the Judicial Nominating Commission for Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit and the Jacksonville Aviation Authority Board of Directors.  His fellow board members elected him Chairman of both boards.  Further, Pat is the President of the Jacksonville Lawyers Chapter of the Federalist Society.  In 2014-2015, Pat was elected President of the Young Lawyers Section of the Jacksonville Bar Association. In 2005, Pat received his Juris Doctor degree from the University of Notre Dame.  He received his Bachelor of Business Administration degree, summa cum laude, from Adrian College, where he earned the full-ride, merit-based Dawson Scholarship and was named the Outstanding Graduate by faculty vote for the Class of 2002, and is a member of the Board of Trustees. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-207-selecting-the-right-attorney-for-your-divorce-with-patrick-kilbane/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionRetreat with Kate Grit & Grace Coaching Program Join the Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Ullmann Wealth PartnersPatrick on LinkedIn Patrick on Instagram Move Forward Confidently: A Women’s Guide to Navigating High-Net-Worth Divorce TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

This week, special needs consultant, advisor, and mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., joins me to discuss navigating divorce when you have children with special needs. We touch on the challenges divorcing parents of children with disabilities face, the most common pitfalls and how to avoid them, and how to best advocate for your child now and in the future. Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation and trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty. Featured topics include: When parents don’t agree about a child’s special needs or one parent disagrees that a child even has special needs or a disability (8:59) The family court system is not set up to handle divorce when there are children with special needs (14:17) How to advocate for your children’s needs during a high-conflict divorce (18:53) The importance of planning for the long-term needs of your children—will they need ongoing care, a special needs trust, or other specific provisions for their unique situation? (28:23) “If you can build a flexible divorce agreement, it will serve you and your children well.” (38:01) Part of having a child-centered divorce is acknowledging the decisions you make today will have an impact on your children even years after your divorce (43:13) There are ways to go through a divorce that keep co-parents in control, such as mediation and collaborative divorce (50:21) Learn more about Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh Kershenbaum, Esq., is a dedicated Peacemaker with extensive training and experience in both Mediation and Collaborative Law. He earned certifications in both Negotiation and Mediation at Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation and completed additional Mediation training through the CORA/Good Shepherd Mediation Program. Josh trained in Divorce & Family Mediation with mediation luminaries Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten and Susan Guthrie at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he is now on the training faculty. He is also a member of the Board of Directors for the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators. Josh has presented at professional conferences across the country, most recently for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), the Academy of Special Needs Planners (ASNP), the Council for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Education (CADRE), the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates (COPAA), as well as for numerous professional and community organizations. He has been a guest on several programs on National Public Radio, and on the popular podcasts, Divorce and Beyond (Susan Guthrie) and Good Law Bad Law (Aaron Freiwald). Josh began his legal career at Montgomery McCracken Walker & Rhoads, LLC in Philadelphia. He went on to found of Pennsylvania’s premier law firms dedicated to representing the legal rights of children with special needs. Josh later served as Senior Counsel for ADR for one of the region’s most well-respected family law firms, before returning to solo-practice as a Mediator and Collaborative divorce professional. He earned his law degree, cum laude, from Temple University’s Beasley School of Law and his B.A., a magna cum laude, from Amherst College. Before practicing law, Josh was a public school teacher in Newton, Massachusetts, and served as a Board member for Greater Boston PFLAG. He lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania with his family of five humans and three rescue cats. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/navigating-divorce-when-you-have-children-with-special-needs-with-josh-kershenbaum-esq/  Register to join the next Coffee Clatch with Kate on March 14th! Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramJosh on LinkedIn Connect with Josh: Jkershenbaum(at)gmail.com TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP   DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

The Merriam-Webster Word of the Year for 2022 was Gaslighting. Last year, the word experienced a 1,740% increase in lookups, yet there is still much to learn—and many myths to bust.  In this episode, fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley returns to discuss healing from gaslighting. Together we shed light on the insidious nature of gaslighting and the importance of healing and self-care. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD.  She is a trainer, podcaster, and writer in the “science-help” field, focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  We explore how gaslighting is used to maintain power and control over someone and how it can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Dr. Kelley shares the steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting and stresses the importance of self-care to self-regulate and fortify yourself against this deceptive form of abuse. Featured topics include: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t (2:25) The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health (4:20) Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?” (10:14) You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing (20:08) The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting (21:39) What self-care looks like during the healing process (43:17) Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused (59:40) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A SessionRetreat with Kate - Early Bird Pricing Ends 2/28! Grit & Grace Coaching ProgramDr. Kelley’s websiteDr. Kelley on Instagram NYTimes Article about Women and Menopause  Heart Disease in Women TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM   An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP   DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Thinking about keeping the house in your divorce? This week, Tami Wollensak joins me to talk about the things you need to consider when deciding whether or not you should keep your marital home. We explore the importance of understanding your finances and what to keep (and manage) the home. We also discuss some of the hidden costs associated with keeping the home such as homeowners insurance, getting a home inspection, and more. Tami offers insightful advice that will help you come to a more informed and peaceful decision about your home. Tami is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™) and Senior Mortgage Loan Originator. She takes a holistic approach to the process of evaluating mortgage options in the context of the overall financial objectives as they relate to divorcing situations prior to settlement for the best outcome for the divorcing homeowners.   Featured topics include: Even if you want to keep your house, you may not qualify for a mortgage loan (7:42) How a CDLP can help you negotiate to keep your marital home (16:18) Keeping the home might not be your best option (17:15) Understanding and evaluating the numbers can help you to move forward with  a peaceful decision (22:19) You have to be the CFO of your divorce (24:13) Why your credit and obtaining your credit report is critical (33:24) Some of the things you may not have considered about keeping the home like ongoing maintenance, getting a home inspection, and homeowners’ insurance (37:00) Learn more about Tami Wollensak: Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life.  Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP™). This specialization provides her the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate.  As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s (NMLS #1963450) goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured.  Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/take-or-leave-the-house-with-tami-wollensak/ Register to join Kate on the 2nd Tuesday of Every Month for a Live Q&A Session!Tami’s website Tami on Facebook Tami on LinkedIn Tami on Instagram Book a Meeting with Tami   ============================ DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks.  With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Today I welcome back Dr. Christine Cocchiola to discuss the importance of talking and educating about coercive control, domestic violence, and other abuses (legal, financial, and so on) to better understand, identify, and ultimately advocate for yourself, your children, or loved ones in family court.  Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor.  She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Featured topics include: Coercive control can happen in any relationship or any environment (4:08) Most domestic violence is based on power and control (6:59) The lack of ratification of The Equal Rights Amendment and its effect on women - such as the fact that women cannot sue for violation of their rights (18:23) How to litigate within a family court system that is stacked against you (26:47) Why it is important to think like the abuser as well as be two steps ahead when going into a courtroom (33:44) Divorce attorneys need to understand and be attuned to the difference between victims and perpetrators (40:29) Learn more about Dr. Christine Cocchiola: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor.  She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally.  Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control.  She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children. Resources & Links: Information may also be found at http://www.kateanthony.com/podcast/empowering-victims-to-have-a-voice-with-dr-christine-cocchiola Grit & Grace Coaching Program Dr. Cocchiola’s website Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn Dr. Cocchiola’s past episode on Coercive Control ============================ DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: WORTHY The Divorce Survival Guide podcast is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks.  With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time, you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/dsg-podcast. (See website for terms.) JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP